Joke and Dagger

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by Christy Barritt


  “I am fine with it. I am Joey Darling, despite my size, despite my appearance, and despite all these new features I have that I did not have before.”

  That was right. Mindy had said I was brave. So I would be brave now. I would go and get a bite to eat in public while wearing this getup. In fact, maybe it would be kind of a nice social experiment. I would see whether I was treated differently if I looked differently.

  Besides, if this was the bravest thing I ever did, then I really was spoiled.

  “If you’re sure.” Jackson put his truck into Reverse.

  “I heard about this restaurant in town called The Crazy Chefette. How about if we try that? I hear they have some awesome grilled cheese and peach sandwiches.”

  Jackson stole a glance at me. “I thought you weren’t eating carbs?”

  “At this point, it’s not really going to make a difference.” I rubbed my fake belly.

  We drove along the road, the landscape beautiful around us. There were sand dunes on one side and marsh grasses on the other as we left the area around the lighthouse.

  I’d been living in the Outer Banks for a while, so I should be used to this kind of beauty. I saw it all the time. But something about seeing it right now refreshed my soul.

  The area reminded me that I was just a small part of a bigger picture. It reminded me that life wasn’t all about me. And that was a good reminder to have sometimes, especially as an actress where life did go through periods where everything was about me.

  But that was the old Joey Darling. I was trying to break out of those habits and mindsets. Still, I knew that it was easy to slip back into old ways.

  I wanted to wait until Jackson and I were at the restaurant before bringing up anything pertaining to this case. After we ordered, I glanced around at all the interesting people here.

  A group at the counter area laughed in a jolly manner. They appeared to be older men, mostly retired, and if I had to guess they probably came every day, doing this exact same thing.

  At another table there were what appeared to be a bunch of surfers wearing wetsuits. On the other side of the restaurant, I saw several families probably here on vacation.

  If I didn’t live in Nags Head, I might have to consider this place. Lantern Beach had a great charm to it—even if I had almost died here while searching for my father and being stuck during a storm.

  Jackson and I got our food, and I took a bite. The grilled cheese and peach combination was actually amazing, as were the homemade potato chips.

  After we’d eaten a few minutes without speaking, I broached the subject I knew was on both of our minds.

  “Okay, Jackson, I know you’re just on vacation and here to enjoy yourself. But that pirate, Bucky Belching? He was murdered. In the lighthouse. What do you think is going on?”

  Jackson shrugged. “I have no idea, but I am sure that Chief Chambers will get to the bottom of all of this.”

  I frowned. I had to admit—I wanted more than he was willing to give right now.

  Jackson let out a sigh and shifted. “Bucky Belching—or Gene Belching, I should say—wasn’t that man’s real name.”

  My eyes widened. “What? How do you know that?”

  “Because I looked into him.”

  My eyes widened even more. “You did? Why?”

  “Professional curiosity, I suppose.”

  I loved it when he got professionally curious. “Did you find out his real name?”

  “Not yet. But, Joey, this doesn’t mean you should get involved. You’re not going to, right?”

  “Of course not. Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin.” I grinned and pointed to my newly added wart. “And check this out. I actually do have hair on my chinny-chin-chin.”

  Jackson stared at me a moment until finally a deep chuckle emerged, and he shook his head. “Joey, Joey, Joey . . .”

  And suddenly, everything felt normal.

  I kept chewing on Jackson’s words.

  Bucky Belching had used a fake name. Why? He’d sounded so believable. Talked about how he’d taken flak for his last name his whole life. Said he was a nobody from Jersey.

  Had he come to the island with a hidden agenda?

  Now that he was dead, it might be harder to figure out.

  The truth was, every time I closed my eyes, I could see that man lying on the lighthouse floor.

  Dead bodies were just not something I would ever get used to. I was sorry to say that I had seen more than my fair share of them. I’d learned that it was one thing to see a fake dead body like I did on sets. And it was an entirely different story to know that there had once been an actual life inside the now unmoving body.

  “So . . .” I started, knowing there were some things I needed to talk to Jackson about—things other than Bucky. “Did you see the article today?”

  He frowned and took a sip of his lemonade. “I did. I actually set up a Google alert for you. Just to stay on top of things.”

  “That’s just about the sweetest thing that anyone—stalkers excluded—has ever done for me.”

  “Thanks . . . maybe. Anyway, I’m sorry, Joey. I know you hate stuff like that. And you’re not a diva.”

  “I just can’t figure out how that information was leaked.”

  “How about your super-stalker fan club?”

  “I haven’t heard from them in weeks.”

  “That doesn’t mean they’re not responsible.”

  “No, I suppose it doesn’t.” I frowned.

  I tried to think of something else to talk about. I knew there were plenty of other things that Jackson and I could chat about. But my mind kept going blank. I kept running through those numbers and the fact that my name had been left on that note.

  How could Jackson not want to talk about that? This was the biggest thing that happened since . . . since I found a dead body in my new house this past summer.

  Why did these things always happen to me?

  At that moment, two women in their early twenties walked past our booth. They squinted as they looked at me. It was almost like they recognized me but didn’t really recognize me.

  “That’s so sweet,” one of them whispered loud enough for me to hear. “Her grandson took her out to lunch.”

  I wanted to scowl. I really did.

  But that only confirmed to me that Mindy had done a great job with this costume. Maybe I would actually like this. I could go out in public, and nobody would assume I was a detective that I actually wasn’t.

  That did it. No longer would I disguise myself in old hats and oversized sunglasses. From now on, I was going to let Mindy disguise me.

  This film will be the death of you.

  The words echoed in my head, followed by snippets from the article in the National Instigator. Someone here was keeping an eye on me.

  At that thought, I glanced around again. Why did I feel like someone was watching me? Was it just paranoia?

  I didn’t know.

  “What’s wrong?” Jackson asked.

  I shivered. “I don’t know. It’s just a feeling, I suppose. A feeling that something isn’t right.”

  As soon as I said the words, my phone buzzed. It was another text message.

  I’m watching you.

  I glanced around again. The question was who. Who was watching me?

  Chapter Eleven

  When Jackson excused himself to use the bathroom, one of the older, retired-looking men wandered over to me and paused by my booth.

  “You must be Joey Darling,” he said. The man was thin and wiry, with white hair and a matching beard and mustache. His eyes glimmered with intelligence and maybe even mischief.

  “You recognized me?” I said, feeling halfway impressed.

  “I was the police chief in town for about thirty years so I’d like to think I have decent skills of observation.” He extended his hand. “I am Mac MacArthur by the way. Former police chief and current mayor.”

  “I’m Joey Darling. It’s great to be here.”<
br />
  He shifted, his hand going to his hip. “You’re the talk of the town. Everyone’s really excited that you’re here and that you’re filming your movie. We feel like Lantern Beach is a great town, and it deserves all the attention that it can get. Of course, we usually want the positive attention and not the negative.”

  “I guess you heard about what happened this morning.” I frowned as I remembered the dead body.

  “I chatted with Cassidy—Chief Chambers—and she informed me. I know that must’ve been quite shocking for you.”

  “Yeah, shocking is an understatement, but unfortunately this isn’t my first rodeo.”

  “Funny that you say that,” he said. “I actually read a couple articles on you before you came. Just trying to do my research and everything. I thought it was very interesting some of the crimes that you’ve solved in the past.”

  I shrugged. “I never really mean to. I just kind of stumble into these things. I can’t help myself.”

  A grin spread across his face. “I think it’s great. As long as you’re safe, of course. I would never encourage civilians to get involved with these matters. But I have to say it makes for a great magazine story and Dateline special.”

  “It’s like I always say, My successes are only because of my failures.” My thoughts shifted. “Hey, maybe you can answer something for me. These pirates who are in town right now. What are they here for?”

  “They’re doing a pirate cosplay gathering, for lack of a better word. They’re staying at a campground and having their ‘gathering’ at a local beach so they can reenact some pirate scenes from our town’s history.”

  That made sense. “Is this an annual thing?”

  “No, it was pretty last minute, actually. You should go watch them sometime. Most of their activities are taking place near the day use area by the lighthouse. There’s a little campground beside it.”

  That was probably how they accidentally stormed onto the set.

  “I guess you heard they accidentally wandered onto our set yesterday?”

  “I did get a phone call about that.”

  “From Alistair?”

  Mac grinned. “Yes, from Alistair. That was fine, though. I like to stay on top of what’s going on here in town. I may be mayor, but the other part of me will always be this town’s overseer.”

  “I guess every town needs an overseer. They’re lucky to have you here in Lantern Beach.”

  He took a step back as Jackson joined us at the table. The two of them introduced themselves and discovered they’d actually met before when Jackson had worked a case here.

  After we paid our bill and we were ready to leave, Jackson asked me where I wanted to go.

  I knew I shouldn’t. I really did. But I just couldn’t help myself.

  “I heard about this great recreational area near the day use area. It’s not far from the lighthouse. Would you mind if we stop by there?”

  I paused on the sandy beach and resisted a smile. Instead, I tried to utilize my acting abilities and show that my intentions in coming here were innocent.

  I knew I would have to come clean before too long, though.

  Jackson turned to me as we stood at the edge of the parking lot, looking at the beach in the distance where a skull-and-crossbones flag had been set up. “So. Pirates. Who would’ve thunk?”

  “I know! They’re here, of all places.”

  Jackson gave me a knowing look.

  I didn’t have to admit to anything. He knew me well enough to know I’d come here on purpose.

  “So, what exactly did you want to do here, Joey?” Jackson crossed his arms and stared at the beach in the distance.

  “I don’t know. I just thought the area was beautiful, so I thought we should stop by . . . and, I mean, I just wanted to get a better feel for these guys. Somebody was trying to kill Bucky Belching—or whatever his real name is.”

  “Correct.”

  “And I know there’s a good chance that someone who’s working on the set of this new movie is guilty. But there’s also a good chance it could be one of these pirates. I really don’t understand how the whole cosplay thing works. I think it’s kind of weird. But I’m an actor, so some people think I’m weird. I pretty much have no room to talk.”

  “So we’re just here to watch?” Jackson stared at me, and I knew he would catch me if I gave any hints that I wasn’t being forthcoming.

  “That’s right, we’re just here to watch. What else is there to do? I mean, except enjoy the beautiful view.”

  I turned my attention back toward the sandy beach. About twenty pirates went after each other, sword fighting and falling to the ground with fake injuries. It looked like a swashbuckling good time. Seagulls swarmed overhead, also seeming to enjoy the show.

  As we stood on the edge of the sand, one of the pirates approached us. He wore the typical pirate garb and held a sword in his hand that he seemed to be using as a walking stick.

  His squinty gaze remained on me as he got closer. “Ahoy, mateys. Didn’t I see ye both yesterday on the set of that movie?”

  “Maybe,” I said. “You were one of the pirates who wandered down to the scene as we were filming, weren’t you?”

  “Yeah, I was.” His expression changed, and he dropped his accent. “Sorry about that. I’m Lou, by the way. Lou Williams. Unfortunately, I was just killed in battle, and now I don’t know what to do with myself.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. It looks like you guys are having fun out here.” I nodded toward the rest of the gang.

  He shrugged. “We are, but we also heard about Bucky. We knew he wouldn’t want this event to be canceled on his behalf, but I still can’t believe it. None of us can.”

  “So you knew Bucky?” Jackson asked.

  “Yes, we all did. The cosplay community, when it comes to pirates, is pretty small. We all know each other. This is one of our bigger get-togethers, but we have local get-togethers all the time and we talk online. Bucky was a very outspoken member of our community.”

  “Outspoken member? What do you mean?” I had to wonder if being outspoken was a good or a bad thing. It could mean Bucky had ruffled feathers.

  “Oh, I just mean that Bucky loved this stuff. He fully embraced the pirate life. Most of us have regular jobs, and some of us even have families. We just do this on the side for fun. But Bucky—he really wanted to be a pirate.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked again. I didn’t want to assume anything here.

  “I mean, not like the evil kind of pirates from days past. But Bucky wanted to live like a pirate. He wanted to dress like a pirate. Eat like a pirate. He wanted to live on a pirate ship—a houseboat, actually. He even bought a parrot. He was totally into this kind of thing.”

  “He said he had a blue-collar job,” I said. “Do you know what he did for a living?”

  “He didn’t say, but he was obviously making money somehow. He was always on the phone. He liked to do some photography for fun. He especially liked sunsets, he said.”

  “Do you know what his real name is?” I asked.

  “I have no idea. Never asked. Didn’t seem important.”

  “Did he have any enemies?” Jackson asked.

  I looked at him from the corner of my eye. He couldn’t resist, could he? Jackson would never admit it, but he was curious about what had happened.

  I also knew he had to be careful not to step on Chief Chambers’s toes. This was her territory, and I knew Jackson did not want to do anything that would interfere or make her feel uncomfortable. But I figured we were just having a conversation. That couldn’t be but so bad, right?

  “Did he have enemies?” Lou repeated. “I mean, sure we’ve all had our enemies. We have two competing crews here at our gathering this weekend. Pirates are very territorial, you see. We do lots of live-action role play and fighting.”

  “Did anything ever go beyond the cosplay fighting?” Jackson asked. “I know it’s not supposed to be real, but certainly real life inte
rferes sometimes.”

  “Yeah, I guess.” Lou paused and glanced around. Then he stepped closer. “There is this one guy I saw Bucky arguing with last night.”

  I perked up. Maybe this was a lead. Not that I needed a lead. Because I wasn’t getting involved. But I still wanted to know.

  Before I could stop myself, I asked, “Who? What happened?”

  “I’m not really sure of the details. I thought I might ask Bucky this morning but . . . I mean, as you know, it’s a little bit too late now. But I saw him fussing with Corky Keelhauler.”

  “Corky Keelhauler? Who’s Corky Keelhauler?” And where did they come up with these names? Bucky Belching? Corky Keelhauler? Who was next—Polly Swashbuckler?”

  “Corky is the captain of the pirate ship Anger of the Seize. I couldn’t tell what he and Bucky were saying, but it looked pretty heated.”

  “Do you remember any more details?” Jackson asked.

  “Most of us are staying at a campground here in town. I was out for a late-night walk when I saw the argument. The two of them were standing over by the trees. Their hands were flying in the air, and I could tell that they weren’t happy. The only thing I heard was something about shooting or being shot. I assumed it was all pirate-speak stuff.”

  “Do you know any of the history between the two?” Jackson asked.

  “No, not really. I try to stay out of things like that. In fact, I think I’m already saying too much.” As if uncomfortable, Lou glanced around.

  “We’ll be discrete,” I told him. “Thanks for sharing. I just have one more question.”

  Lou glanced around again. “What’s that?”

  “Where did you guys get that pirate map yesterday?”

  “From Bucky, of course.” Lou took a step away. “Now, I’ve got to go. I hope that the authorities are able to find the person who did this to Bucky—because I don’t believe this was an accident. He was a good guy. He didn’t deserve this.”

  He took a step away and paused.

  “And, by the way,” he said. “I think it’s great to see a grandmother and grandson out together bonding like this.”

 

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