“I’m really sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. We have plenty of girls around here who want to play professional polo. I’m sure I can find a good one to fill the spot I was holding for you.”
I flinched with the venom in his words. “That’s great,” I forced myself to say. “Good luck with everything.”
I hung up before he could say anything else that made me want to cry.
Too many things made me want to cry in the past few days. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep holding on.
55
Tyler
Whenever my phone rang, I thought it was Gabi. Several times, it was, but sometimes it was just people and companies asking me to pay my bills. Unfortunately, most of the first installment of the deal was gone and I still had too many bills to pay.
Shit.
“You don’t look too good,” Lena said.
I ignored her. She had been on my case since she got at the vet clinic early this morning and found me sleeping on the couch in the backroom. I still had a few days off, but I had given up on them now.
Lena had said I looked like shit, and I bet I smelled like it too, so I went to the nearest Walmart, bought the cheapest jeans and T-shirt and underwear they had in my size, came back to the clinic, and took a quick shower in the bathroom in the backroom.
I poured more coffee into my mug.
She halted by my side and reached for the coffeepot. “You know, running away from your problems won’t make them disappear.”
I glared at her. “It seems to be working so far.”
“I’m just saying.” She shrugged. “Everybody has trouble in paradise, Tyler. Don’t think it’s always perfect.”
“I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
She leveled a hard look at me. “I’m trying to be nice. To be helpful. But apparently, you’re back to your pre-Gabriela angry phase. Let me tell you a secret: everyone liked you better during your Gabriela phase.”
She strutted out of the backroom.
Shit. Even I liked myself better during my Gabriela phase.
Was that phase over? I glanced at my phone. I didn’t know.
I didn’t even know why I was so mad at her. She said she wouldn’t go, but until when? Until the two-year period was over? Then, she could divorce me and go to Florida and play polo? What if she got an offer from another country? That was a possibility. She had come to the U.S. to play polo, so that was what she would do. That was her priority. Not me. Not our marriage.
I didn’t want to fall even more for her and have my heart broken. It was already breaking with the idea of losing her, of letting her go. But my mind kept telling me to avoid getting even more hurt, I should let her go now.
But if I let her go, she would lose her beloved green card. Maybe … maybe we could rent another apartment in the same building, a one-bedroom one, under some alias name. I could move into this apartment and then we could pretend we lived together, but hopefully we would barely bump into each other in the hallway.
Damn it. It all sounded so fucking insane.
My mind hurt and my emotions swirled inside me, making me confused. I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t know what to do.
And that was the reason that when she called again later that night, I ignored it again. I just didn’t know what to say to her right now.
So, as the night went by and the clinic was filled with only our patients’ sounds, I settled back into the worn couch in the backroom, knowing I would barely sleep, and if I slept, I would wake up with a pain in my neck, but I didn’t have it in me to do anything else right now.
I was hurt from losing my father, and I had just lost someone else I cared about too much. The only other person I thought could be my everything.
I felt stupid.
It was better if I stayed away, and worked every waking hour I could to keep my mind busy, otherwise I would sink into a dark world I wasn’t prepared to face yet.
56
Gabi
Fourth day waking up with no Tyler in sight. I checked my phone. No calls, no messages.
I forced myself to get up from bed, to make breakfast and eat something, to shower and put on some real clothes. Then I waited.
Should I call him again? What if something had really happened to him? Worry won out and I decided on a new approach. At this time, he should be at the vet clinic, so, instead of calling him again, I called the clinic.
“B+D veterinary clinic. This is Lena. How may I help you?”
“Hi, hm, is Tyler Reid there?”
There was three seconds of silence. “Is this Gabriela?”
“Hm, yes.”
The woman sighed. “Yes, he is here.”
I let out a long breath. “So, he’s okay.”
“If brooding and driving everyone crazy is your definition of fine, then yes, he is.” I almost felt sorry for her. “Want me to transfer the call to him?”
He hadn’t been answering any of my calls before, why would he answer me now? “No, it’s okay. I just wanted to know if he was okay. Thanks.”
I hung up and stared at my phone.
So. Tyler was fine. He was at the vet clinic. Only God knew where he had spent the previous four nights—I flinched, thinking of the possibilities—but at least he wasn’t hurt and forgotten at some hospital.
Tears sprung to my eyes.
He really was avoiding me. He hated me and wanted to be away from me.
Polo and green card weren’t worth it anymore.
Never had imagined I would care for someone so much that I put them before polo. I knew that maybe it would happen someday, when I was older and ready to settle down, when my polo career was already solid and successful.
All of this had started as a sham, so I never considered I would push polo to second on my priority’s list before I even had a chance on it.
But I couldn’t fight the feelings in my heart.
I picked up my phone again and called the immigration lawyer. She wasn’t available, so I left a message for her, asking her to call me later, but I asked the secretary for another kind of lawyer. She gave me a name and address and I didn’t waste time.
I called the lawyer’s office and offered an insane amount of money to be squeezed into the lawyer’s tight schedule. The secretary didn’t sound happy to put me in an appointment for tomorrow morning.
With nothing else to do, I did two things: I went online and bought an expensive airplane ticket to Brazil for tomorrow night, and I started packing.
I was breaking down in a million pieces, my heart was breaking, but I had to be practical here. I had given Tyler time to find me and he didn’t.
When I entered the lawyer’s office the next morning, he didn’t seem happier than his secretary, but I didn’t care about his opinion as long as he did his job.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked before taking my documents.
“Yes,” I said loud and clear. “I want to file for divorce.”
57
Tyler
I immersed myself in work and the days flew by.
The clinic had closed so I went to check on two dogs who were spending the night with us. Me. Because I was planning on sleeping here again. This would be the fifth night. Damn, I would have to go to Walmart again and buy more underwear. And maybe another T-shirt.
Lena appeared at the door. “So what? Are you living here now?”
I groaned. “Can’t you leave me alone?”
“I wasn’t going to tell you, but I think that if it was me, I would have liked to know.” I glanced at her over my shoulder, wondering what the hell was she talking about. “Gabriela called yesterday morning. She wanted to know if you were okay.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what the hell happened, but it seems you two aren’t in a good place, which means you two were in a good place when together. So fix it.”
She whirled around and left the room. Moments later, I heard the front door closing and the lock turning.
Shit.
I hadn’t thought Gabi would call the clinic. Not that I cared. I mean, I wasn’t hiding from her, I just didn’t want to talk to her, not yet.
I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down on the couch that had become my bed.
What the hell was I doing? Avoiding the woman I liked—hell, loved—because I was too hurt? I sighed, wishing my father was still alive, so I could go to the hospital instead and stay there with him, so I could talk to him and hear his advice. Maybe he would have been able to undo the tangle in my mind, in my emotions, and see a clear path.
“Marry her,” he had said so many times. He was in love with her, probably as much as I was. Damn, how I wished I had told him I'd already married her.
And I was now losing her.
I was avoiding her, and as consequence, pushing her away. Who knew what was going on in her mind? What she had decided?
Holy shit, what if she had accepted the offer from the club in Florida?
A painful pang cut through my heart.
I reached for my phone, thinking about calling her. But I stopped myself. No, I wouldn’t call her. I would go home. I was still upset, I was still pissed and hurt and many other things, but I had to talk to her. I had to tell her I didn’t want her to go to Florida. Not without me. And I had to do all that face-to-face.
I checked on the dogs and cats, and called the intern who should be arriving for the night shift in a few minutes. He said he was on his way, so I picked up my things and waited for him to arrive in the parking lot. Once he parked his car and greeted me, I drove home.
To my surprise, Gabi’s SUV wasn’t in its parking space.
I raced to the apartment and unlocked the door. It was dark inside.
I switched the lights on. “Gabi?” I called, already knowing she wasn’t here, but hoping she was.
I went to her—our—bedroom, pushed the door open, and turned the light on.
And gasped. Her things—her hairbrush, her phone’s charger, her portraits—were all gone. Even her closet was open and the clothes were gone.
My heart dropped.
On the bed, I saw a stack of papers and, on top, a note.
With trembling hands, I picked it up.
Tyler
I’m really sorry for everything I’ve done to upset you. Know that it was never my intention.
Though I’m breaking this deal off, you’ll find the check with the rest of the money to pay your debts. Think of it as my gift to your father. He would like to see his son free of any bills and enjoying life.
You’re a good man and deserve the best.
The divorce papers are under the note.
Take care,
Gabi
I dropped the note as if it had burned me.
Breaking the deal? Divorce papers? What the hell?
My hands still shook as I grabbed my phone and called her. It went to the voice mail. I tried again and again, and every time the voice mail greeted me. Her phone was turned off.
I paced the room and ran a hand through my hair, thinking about what I could do, what I should do. Where could she be? Who should I call?
I called Garrett.
The phone rang once, then the call was turned off. What the hell?
I was about to call him again when I got a text from him.
Garrett: I’m in class. Will call later.
Damn it.
All right. Where could she be? There was only one obvious place. Her brother’s apartment. I almost called Gui, but decided he was probably still pissed at me for marrying his little sister behind his back, so I drove there. He wouldn’t slam the door on my face, would he?
Thankfully, the doorman already knew me, so he didn’t even announce my arrival to the Fernandeses. I rang the doorbell and Pedro opened the door for me, surprise all over his expression.
“Hm, Tyler, oi.”
“Where’s Gabi?” I asked, pushing my way inside the apartment.
Gui, who was at the kitchen getting a drink, put his glass down and glared at me. “What are you doing here?”
I held my chin high. “I’m here looking for my wife.”
“Wife,” Gui hissed. “Your wife? You left her alone for five days. You didn’t even return her calls. Where the hell were you?”
“Gui, I don’t want to argue with you, okay? Not now. Just let me talk to Gabi.” I walked toward the hallway leading to the bedrooms.
Gui stepped in my way, his hands clenched into tight fists. “Gabi is gone.”
That didn’t process. “What?”
“I came back from the airport an hour ago. She’s already flying over Nevada or Texas or whatever, on her way to Brazil.”
My knees weakened. “W-what? No.”
“Why do you care? From what I understand, she gave you all the money you needed to pay your debts. Even though she’s walking away from this without anything but hurt.”
I grabbed the check from my pocket, lifted it in between us, and ripped it in several pieces. “I don’t care about the money. I care about her.” The pieces fell on the floor as Gui watched with wide eyes. “I love her.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm down my racing, hurt heart. “I just lost my father and I was so scared of losing her too. I was hurt and didn’t handle this situation well.” I ran a hand through my hair, thinking. “But I’ll fix this.”
Gui crossed his arms, a frown in between his brows. “And how the hell are you going to do that?”
I glanced around, looking for a laptop. “I’m going to buy the first airplane ticket to Brazil and I’m going to bring my wife home.”
58
Gabi
One of the things that hurt the most was to see how happy my parents were when they picked me up at the airport the next morning. All I wanted to do was cry, but they kept talking about how it all would work out, and how I could finally go to college, and maybe someday run the ranch with my father.
It all just made me feel more broken.
This time, I had gotten home in time for lunch. Even Maria was happy to see me.
“Desculpa, but I’m not hungry,” I said, retreating to my bedroom.
I lay down on my bed and tried to sleep. Despite the exhaustion from the trip and all the emotional problems from the last three days, I couldn’t close my eyes. My mind kept reliving everything, trying to think of what I could have done differently, what should I have done, but in the end I concluded my only error was to have come up with this deal in the first place. I should have stayed in Brazil and gone to college and let go of everything else.
A couple hours later, my mother came to check on me. She brought me some cake and mate, but I pretended I was asleep. At night, I went down for dinner, but only answered the essentials. When my parents started talking too much, I excused myself and went back to my bedroom.
Again, I barely slept all night. To be honest, I had barely slept since the last time I slept in Tyler’s arms six nights ago.
I waited until it was past nine—when I knew my father went off to manage the ranch—to come down and have breakfast.
“Eu fiz o seu preferido,” Maria said in Portuguese, showing me a plate of one of my favorite dishes—nhoque de batata, or potato gnocchi.
I tried to smile, but I was sure it looked more like a grimace. “Obrigada, but I’m not hungry,” I told her in Portuguese. I made myself a black coffee and went out to the back porch. I sat on a bench and looked out at the stables.
My mother showed up from inside the house. “There you are. I thought I was going to have to drag you off your bed.”
“No need for such drastic measures.”
She sat down beside me. “I’m worried about you, honey. You don’t look well. Want to talk about it?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Just … give me some space and I’ll be fine.”
She patted my knee. “Just know that I’m here, okay? If you need to talk. No judgment, no motherly advice … just talk, like two friends.”
“Thanks.”
She patted my knee again and then went back inside the house.
I stared at the stable in the distance. I should go see Tostado. I missed him and I had to tell him that soon Branca would be coming and she would be keeping him company. I hoped they became good friends.
Speaking of friends, I should probably talk to Pri, let her know I was back. She would probably want to come over, but hopefully she had classes all day. We could schedule something for the weekend—it would give me more time to stop moping.
Me: I’m back.
Pri: Oi, guria. What do you mean?
Me: I’m at the ranch with my parents.
Pri: O quê? Why?
Me: Long story.
Pri: I’m gonna skip classes. Be there in a couple of hours.
Me: Não, Pri. Go to your classes. I need time to think. Come over this weekend.
Pri: Are you sure?
Me: I’m sure.
Pri: If you need anything, I’m here, okay?
Me: Obrigada.
I smiled at the phone. Hopefully, I would be feeling a little better during the weekend and Pri was sure to make me feel even better.
With a sigh, I stood and went back to my bedroom. I took a long, warm bath in my big bathtub—I probably soaked in there for almost an hour. Then, I got out and blew my hair dry. It was getting colder here and if I went out with damp hair, I would get a cold in no time. Since I would go out later, I put on jeans, a long sleeved tee and a thin cardigan, and cowboy boots.
Then, I unpacked my bags—the ones I was able to bring. I had left a couple at Gui’s apartment. Some other time he would bring it or send it to me.
I wasn’t looking forward to it, but my clothes wouldn’t go back into my closet by themselves. And the sooner everything was in its right place, the better it would be. Though, the last piece of clothing stared at me from the end of my last suitcase. I let out a long breath and, with shaking hands, picked it up. I unzipped the cover and peeked under. My pretty wedding dress, the one that for some inexplicable reason, I had bought. The one that now held too many memories I wanted to forget. I gently placed it in the back of my closet, where it was mostly hidden by my thick coats and jackets.
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