by George Eliot
CHAPTER XXIV.
"The offender's sorrow brings but small relief To him who wears the strong offence's cross." --SHAKESPEARE: Sonnets.
I am sorry to say that only the third day after the propitious eventsat Houndsley Fred Vincy had fallen into worse spirits than he had knownin his life before. Not that he had been disappointed as to thepossible market for his horse, but that before the bargain could beconcluded with Lord Medlicote's man, this Diamond, in which hope to theamount of eighty pounds had been invested, had without the slightestwarning exhibited in the stable a most vicious energy in kicking, hadjust missed killing the groom, and had ended in laming himself severelyby catching his leg in a rope that overhung the stable-board. There wasno more redress for this than for the discovery of bad temper aftermarriage--which of course old companions were aware of before theceremony. For some reason or other, Fred had none of his usualelasticity under this stroke of ill-fortune: he was simply aware thathe had only fifty pounds, that there was no chance of his getting anymore at present, and that the bill for a hundred and sixty would bepresented in five days. Even if he had applied to his father on theplea that Mr. Garth should be saved from loss, Fred felt smartinglythat his father would angrily refuse to rescue Mr. Garth from theconsequence of what he would call encouraging extravagance and deceit.He was so utterly downcast that he could frame no other project than togo straight to Mr. Garth and tell him the sad truth, carrying with himthe fifty pounds, and getting that sum at least safely out of his ownhands. His father, being at the warehouse, did not yet know of theaccident: when he did, he would storm about the vicious brute beingbrought into his stable; and before meeting that lesser annoyance Fredwanted to get away with all his courage to face the greater. He tookhis father's nag, for he had made up his mind that when he had told Mr.Garth, he would ride to Stone Court and confess all to Mary. In fact,it is probable that but for Mary's existence and Fred's love for her,his conscience would have been much less active both in previouslyurging the debt on his thought and impelling him not to spare himselfafter his usual fashion by deferring an unpleasant task, but to act asdirectly and simply as he could. Even much stronger mortals than FredVincy hold half their rectitude in the mind of the being they lovebest. "The theatre of all my actions is fallen," said an antiquepersonage when his chief friend was dead; and they are fortunate whoget a theatre where the audience demands their best. Certainly itwould have made a considerable difference to Fred at that time if MaryGarth had had no decided notions as to what was admirable in character.
Mr. Garth was not at the office, and Fred rode on to his house, whichwas a little way outside the town--a homely place with an orchard infront of it, a rambling, old-fashioned, half-timbered building, whichbefore the town had spread had been a farm-house, but was nowsurrounded with the private gardens of the townsmen. We get the fonderof our houses if they have a physiognomy of their own, as our friendshave. The Garth family, which was rather a large one, for Mary hadfour brothers and one sister, were very fond of their old house, fromwhich all the best furniture had long been sold. Fred liked it too,knowing it by heart even to the attic which smelt deliciously of applesand quinces, and until to-day he had never come to it without pleasantexpectations; but his heart beat uneasily now with the sense that heshould probably have to make his confession before Mrs. Garth, of whomhe was rather more in awe than of her husband. Not that she wasinclined to sarcasm and to impulsive sallies, as Mary was. In herpresent matronly age at least, Mrs. Garth never committed herself byover-hasty speech; having, as she said, borne the yoke in her youth,and learned self-control. She had that rare sense which discerns whatis unalterable, and submits to it without murmuring. Adoring herhusband's virtues, she had very early made up her mind to hisincapacity of minding his own interests, and had met the consequencescheerfully. She had been magnanimous enough to renounce all pride inteapots or children's frilling, and had never poured any patheticconfidences into the ears of her feminine neighbors concerning Mr.Garth's want of prudence and the sums he might have had if he had beenlike other men. Hence these fair neighbors thought her either proud oreccentric, and sometimes spoke of her to their husbands as "your fineMrs. Garth." She was not without her criticism of them in return, beingmore accurately instructed than most matrons in Middlemarch, and--whereis the blameless woman?--apt to be a little severe towards her own sex,which in her opinion was framed to be entirely subordinate. On theother hand, she was disproportionately indulgent towards the failingsof men, and was often heard to say that these were natural. Also, itmust be admitted that Mrs. Garth was a trifle too emphatic in herresistance to what she held to be follies: the passage from governessinto housewife had wrought itself a little too strongly into herconsciousness, and she rarely forgot that while her grammar and accentwere above the town standard, she wore a plain cap, cooked the familydinner, and darned all the stockings. She had sometimes taken pupilsin a peripatetic fashion, making them follow her about in the kitchenwith their book or slate. She thought it good for them to see that shecould make an excellent lather while she corrected their blunders"without looking,"--that a woman with her sleeves tucked up above herelbows might know all about the Subjunctive Mood or the TorridZone--that, in short, she might possess "education" and other goodthings ending in "tion," and worthy to be pronounced emphatically,without being a useless doll. When she made remarks to this edifyingeffect, she had a firm little frown on her brow, which yet did nothinder her face from looking benevolent, and her words which came forthlike a procession were uttered in a fervid agreeable contralto.Certainly, the exemplary Mrs. Garth had her droll aspects, but hercharacter sustained her oddities, as a very fine wine sustains a flavorof skin.
Towards Fred Vincy she had a motherly feeling, and had always beendisposed to excuse his errors, though she would probably not haveexcused Mary for engaging herself to him, her daughter being includedin that more rigorous judgment which she applied to her own sex. Butthis very fact of her exceptional indulgence towards him made it theharder to Fred that he must now inevitably sink in her opinion. Andthe circumstances of his visit turned out to be still more unpleasantthan he had expected; for Caleb Garth had gone out early to look atsome repairs not far off. Mrs. Garth at certain hours was always inthe kitchen, and this morning she was carrying on several occupationsat once there--making her pies at the well-scoured deal table on oneside of that airy room, observing Sally's movements at the oven anddough-tub through an open door, and giving lessons to her youngest boyand girl, who were standing opposite to her at the table with theirbooks and slates before them. A tub and a clothes-horse at the otherend of the kitchen indicated an intermittent wash of small things alsogoing on.
Mrs. Garth, with her sleeves turned above her elbows, deftly handlingher pastry--applying her rolling-pin and giving ornamental pinches,while she expounded with grammatical fervor what were the right viewsabout the concord of verbs and pronouns with "nouns of multitude orsignifying many," was a sight agreeably amusing. She was of the samecurly-haired, square-faced type as Mary, but handsomer, with moredelicacy of feature, a pale skin, a solid matronly figure, and aremarkable firmness of glance. In her snowy-frilled cap she remindedone of that delightful Frenchwoman whom we have all seen marketing,basket on arm. Looking at the mother, you might hope that the daughterwould become like her, which is a prospective advantage equal to adowry--the mother too often standing behind the daughter like amalignant prophecy--"Such as I am, she will shortly be."
"Now let us go through that once more," said Mrs. Garth, pinching anapple-puff which seemed to distract Ben, an energetic young male with aheavy brow, from due attention to the lesson. "'Not without regard tothe import of the word as conveying unity or plurality of idea'--tellme again what that means, Ben."
(Mrs. Garth, like more celebrated educators, had her favorite ancientpaths, and in a general wreck of society would have tried to hold her"Lindley Murray" above the waves.)
"O
h--it means--you must think what you mean," said Ben, ratherpeevishly. "I hate grammar. What's the use of it?"
"To teach you to speak and write correctly, so that you can beunderstood," said Mrs. Garth, with severe precision. "Should you liketo speak as old Job does?"
"Yes," said Ben, stoutly; "it's funnier. He says, 'Yo goo'--that'sjust as good as 'You go.'"
"But he says, 'A ship's in the garden,' instead of 'a sheep,'" saidLetty, with an air of superiority. "You might think he meant a shipoff the sea."
"No, you mightn't, if you weren't silly," said Ben. "How could a shipoff the sea come there?"
"These things belong only to pronunciation, which is the least part ofgrammar," said Mrs. Garth. "That apple-peel is to be eaten by thepigs, Ben; if you eat it, I must give them your piece of pasty. Jobhas only to speak about very plain things. How do you think you wouldwrite or speak about anything more difficult, if you knew no more ofgrammar than he does? You would use wrong words, and put words in thewrong places, and instead of making people understand you, they wouldturn away from you as a tiresome person. What would you do then?"
"I shouldn't care, I should leave off," said Ben, with a sense thatthis was an agreeable issue where grammar was concerned.
"I see you are getting tired and stupid, Ben," said Mrs. Garth,accustomed to these obstructive arguments from her male offspring.Having finished her pies, she moved towards the clothes-horse, andsaid, "Come here and tell me the story I told you on Wednesday, aboutCincinnatus."
"I know! he was a farmer," said Ben.
"Now, Ben, he was a Roman--let _me_ tell," said Letty, using her elbowcontentiously.
"You silly thing, he was a Roman farmer, and he was ploughing."
"Yes, but before that--that didn't come first--people wanted him," saidLetty.
"Well, but you must say what sort of a man he was first," insisted Ben."He was a wise man, like my father, and that made the people want hisadvice. And he was a brave man, and could fight. And so could myfather--couldn't he, mother?"
"Now, Ben, let me tell the story straight on, as mother told it us,"said Letty, frowning. "Please, mother, tell Ben not to speak."
"Letty, I am ashamed of you," said her mother, wringing out the capsfrom the tub. "When your brother began, you ought to have waited tosee if he could not tell the story. How rude you look, pushing andfrowning, as if you wanted to conquer with your elbows! Cincinnatus, Iam sure, would have been sorry to see his daughter behave so." (Mrs.Garth delivered this awful sentence with much majesty of enunciation,and Letty felt that between repressed volubility and general disesteem,that of the Romans inclusive, life was already a painful affair.) "Now,Ben."
"Well--oh--well--why, there was a great deal of fighting, and they wereall blockheads, and--I can't tell it just how you told it--but theywanted a man to be captain and king and everything--"
"Dictator, now," said Letty, with injured looks, and not without a wishto make her mother repent.
"Very well, dictator!" said Ben, contemptuously. "But that isn't agood word: he didn't tell them to write on slates."
"Come, come, Ben, you are not so ignorant as that," said Mrs. Garth,carefully serious. "Hark, there is a knock at the door! Run, Letty,and open it."
The knock was Fred's; and when Letty said that her father was not inyet, but that her mother was in the kitchen, Fred had no alternative.He could not depart from his usual practice of going to see Mrs. Garthin the kitchen if she happened to be at work there. He put his armround Letty's neck silently, and led her into the kitchen without hisusual jokes and caresses.
Mrs. Garth was surprised to see Fred at this hour, but surprise was nota feeling that she was given to express, and she only said, quietlycontinuing her work--
"You, Fred, so early in the day? You look quite pale. Has anythinghappened?"
"I want to speak to Mr. Garth," said Fred, not yet ready to saymore--"and to you also," he added, after a little pause, for he had nodoubt that Mrs. Garth knew everything about the bill, and he must in theend speak of it before her, if not to her solely.
"Caleb will be in again in a few minutes," said Mrs. Garth, whoimagined some trouble between Fred and his father. "He is sure not tobe long, because he has some work at his desk that must be done thismorning. Do you mind staying with me, while I finish my matters here?"
"But we needn't go on about Cincinnatus, need we?" said Ben, who hadtaken Fred's whip out of his hand, and was trying its efficiency on thecat.
"No, go out now. But put that whip down. How very mean of you to whippoor old Tortoise! Pray take the whip from him, Fred."
"Come, old boy, give it me," said Fred, putting out his hand.
"Will you let me ride on your horse to-day?" said Ben, rendering up thewhip, with an air of not being obliged to do it.
"Not to-day--another time. I am not riding my own horse."
"Shall you see Mary to-day?"
"Yes, I think so," said Fred, with an unpleasant twinge.
"Tell her to come home soon, and play at forfeits, and make fun."
"Enough, enough, Ben! run away," said Mrs. Garth, seeing that Fred wasteased. . .
"Are Letty and Ben your only pupils now, Mrs. Garth?" said Fred, whenthe children were gone and it was needful to say something that wouldpass the time. He was not yet sure whether he should wait for Mr.Garth, or use any good opportunity in conversation to confess to Mrs.Garth herself, give her the money and ride away.
"One--only one. Fanny Hackbutt comes at half past eleven. I am notgetting a great income now," said Mrs. Garth, smiling. "I am at a lowebb with pupils. But I have saved my little purse for Alfred'spremium: I have ninety-two pounds. He can go to Mr. Hanmer's now; heis just at the right age."
This did not lead well towards the news that Mr. Garth was on the brinkof losing ninety-two pounds and more. Fred was silent. "Younggentlemen who go to college are rather more costly than that," Mrs.Garth innocently continued, pulling out the edging on a cap-border."And Caleb thinks that Alfred will turn out a distinguished engineer:he wants to give the boy a good chance. There he is! I hear himcoming in. We will go to him in the parlor, shall we?"
When they entered the parlor Caleb had thrown down his hat and wasseated at his desk.
"What! Fred, my boy!" he said, in a tone of mild surprise, holding hispen still undipped; "you are here betimes." But missing the usualexpression of cheerful greeting in Fred's face, he immediately added,"Is there anything up at home?--anything the matter?"
"Yes, Mr. Garth, I am come to tell something that I am afraid will giveyou a bad opinion of me. I am come to tell you and Mrs. Garth that Ican't keep my word. I can't find the money to meet the bill after all.I have been unfortunate; I have only got these fifty pounds towards thehundred and sixty."
While Fred was speaking, he had taken out the notes and laid them onthe desk before Mr. Garth. He had burst forth at once with the plainfact, feeling boyishly miserable and without verbal resources. Mrs.Garth was mutely astonished, and looked at her husband for anexplanation. Caleb blushed, and after a little pause said--
"Oh, I didn't tell you, Susan: I put my name to a bill for Fred; it wasfor a hundred and sixty pounds. He made sure he could meet it himself."
There was an evident change in Mrs. Garth's face, but it was like achange below the surface of water which remains smooth. She fixed hereyes on Fred, saying--
"I suppose you have asked your father for the rest of the money and hehas refused you."
"No," said Fred, biting his lip, and speaking with more difficulty;"but I know it will be of no use to ask him; and unless it were of use,I should not like to mention Mr. Garth's name in the matter."
"It has come at an unfortunate time," said Caleb, in his hesitatingway, looking down at the notes and nervously fingering the paper,"Christmas upon us--I'm rather hard up just now. You see, I have tocut out everything like a tailor with short measure. What can we do,Susan? I shall want every farthing we have in the bank.
It's ahundred and ten pounds, the deuce take it!"
"I must give you the ninety-two pounds that I have put by for Alfred'spremium," said Mrs. Garth, gravely and decisively, though a nice earmight have discerned a slight tremor in some of the words. "And I haveno doubt that Mary has twenty pounds saved from her salary by thistime. She will advance it."
Mrs. Garth had not again looked at Fred, and was not in the leastcalculating what words she should use to cut him the most effectively.Like the eccentric woman she was, she was at present absorbed inconsidering what was to be done, and did not fancy that the end couldbe better achieved by bitter remarks or explosions. But she had madeFred feel for the first time something like the tooth of remorse.Curiously enough, his pain in the affair beforehand had consistedalmost entirely in the sense that he must seem dishonorable, and sinkin the opinion of the Garths: he had not occupied himself with theinconvenience and possible injury that his breach might occasion them,for this exercise of the imagination on other people's needs is notcommon with hopeful young gentlemen. Indeed we are most of us broughtup in the notion that the highest motive for not doing a wrong issomething irrespective of the beings who would suffer the wrong. Butat this moment he suddenly saw himself as a pitiful rascal who wasrobbing two women of their savings.
"I shall certainly pay it all, Mrs. Garth--ultimately," he stammeredout.
"Yes, ultimately," said Mrs. Garth, who having a special dislike tofine words on ugly occasions, could not now repress an epigram. "Butboys cannot well be apprenticed ultimately: they should be apprenticedat fifteen." She had never been so little inclined to make excuses forFred.
"I was the most in the wrong, Susan," said Caleb. "Fred made sure offinding the money. But I'd no business to be fingering bills. Isuppose you have looked all round and tried all honest means?" headded, fixing his merciful gray eyes on Fred. Caleb was too delicate,to specify Mr. Featherstone.
"Yes, I have tried everything--I really have. I should have had ahundred and thirty pounds ready but for a misfortune with a horse whichI was about to sell. My uncle had given me eighty pounds, and I paidaway thirty with my old horse in order to get another which I was goingto sell for eighty or more--I meant to go without a horse--but now ithas turned out vicious and lamed itself. I wish I and the horses toohad been at the devil, before I had brought this on you. There's noone else I care so much for: you and Mrs. Garth have always been sokind to me. However, it's no use saying that. You will always thinkme a rascal now."
Fred turned round and hurried out of the room, conscious that he wasgetting rather womanish, and feeling confusedly that his being sorrywas not of much use to the Garths. They could see him mount, andquickly pass through the gate.
"I am disappointed in Fred Vincy," said Mrs. Garth. "I would not havebelieved beforehand that he would have drawn you into his debts. Iknew he was extravagant, but I did not think that he would be so meanas to hang his risks on his oldest friend, who could the least affordto lose."
"I was a fool, Susan:"
"That you were," said the wife, nodding and smiling. "But I should nothave gone to publish it in the market-place. Why should you keep suchthings from me? It is just so with your buttons: you let them burstoff without telling me, and go out with your wristband hanging. If Ihad only known I might have been ready with some better plan."
"You are sadly cut up, I know, Susan," said Caleb, looking feelingly ather. "I can't abide your losing the money you've scraped together forAlfred."
"It is very well that I _had_ scraped it together; and it is you whowill have to suffer, for you must teach the boy yourself. You mustgive up your bad habits. Some men take to drinking, and you have takento working without pay. You must indulge yourself a little less inthat. And you must ride over to Mary, and ask the child what money shehas."
Caleb had pushed his chair back, and was leaning forward, shaking hishead slowly, and fitting his finger-tips together with much nicety.
"Poor Mary!" he said. "Susan," he went on in a lowered tone, "I'mafraid she may be fond of Fred."
"Oh no! She always laughs at him; and he is not likely to think of herin any other than a brotherly way."
Caleb made no rejoinder, but presently lowered his spectacles, drew uphis chair to the desk, and said, "Deuce take the bill--I wish it wasat Hanover! These things are a sad interruption to business!"
The first part of this speech comprised his whole store of maledictoryexpression, and was uttered with a slight snarl easy to imagine. Butit would be difficult to convey to those who never heard him utter theword "business," the peculiar tone of fervid veneration, of religiousregard, in which he wrapped it, as a consecrated symbol is wrapped inits gold-fringed linen.
Caleb Garth often shook his head in meditation on the value, theindispensable might of that myriad-headed, myriad-handed labor by whichthe social body is fed, clothed, and housed. It had laid hold of hisimagination in boyhood. The echoes of the great hammer where roof orkeel were a-making, the signal-shouts of the workmen, the roar of thefurnace, the thunder and plash of the engine, were a sublime music tohim; the felling and lading of timber, and the huge trunk vibratingstar-like in the distance along the highway, the crane at work on thewharf, the piled-up produce in warehouses, the precision and variety ofmuscular effort wherever exact work had to be turned out,--all thesesights of his youth had acted on him as poetry without the aid of thepoets, had made a philosophy for him without the aid of philosophers,a religion without the aid of theology. His early ambition had been tohave as effective a share as possible in this sublime labor, which waspeculiarly dignified by him with the name of "business;" and though hehad only been a short time under a surveyor, and had been chiefly hisown teacher, he knew more of land, building, and mining than most ofthe special men in the county.
His classification of human employments was rather crude, and, like thecategories of more celebrated men, would not be acceptable in theseadvanced times. He divided them into "business, politics, preaching,learning, and amusement." He had nothing to say against the last four;but he regarded them as a reverential pagan regarded other gods thanhis own. In the same way, he thought very well of all ranks, but hewould not himself have liked to be of any rank in which he had not suchclose contact with "business" as to get often honorably decorated withmarks of dust and mortar, the damp of the engine, or the sweet soil ofthe woods and fields. Though he had never regarded himself as otherthan an orthodox Christian, and would argue on prevenient grace if thesubject were proposed to him, I think his virtual divinities were goodpractical schemes, accurate work, and the faithful completion ofundertakings: his prince of darkness was a slack workman. But therewas no spirit of denial in Caleb, and the world seemed so wondrous tohim that he was ready to accept any number of systems, like any numberof firmaments, if they did not obviously interfere with the bestland-drainage, solid building, correct measuring, and judicious boring(for coal). In fact, he had a reverential soul with a strong practicalintelligence. But he could not manage finance: he knew values well,but he had no keenness of imagination for monetary results in the shapeof profit and loss: and having ascertained this to his cost, hedetermined to give up all forms of his beloved "business" whichrequired that talent. He gave himself up entirely to the many kinds ofwork which he could do without handling capital, and was one of thoseprecious men within his own district whom everybody would choose towork for them, because he did his work well, charged very little, andoften declined to charge at all. It is no wonder, then, that theGarths were poor, and "lived in a small way." However, they did notmind it.