A familiar voice broke the moment, ‘Now that’s a sight to behold.’
Steven looked up, unashamed this time. ‘What do you want now, Ingrid?’
***
It amused Ingrid – he was not embarrassed to be naked in front of her anymore. ‘I didn’t realise you cared about what we thought. Your little outburst was out of character, to say the least.’ She paused as she watched him put his clothes back on. This was her chance, it was now or never. ‘You don’t need to cover up. Now you are changed, maybe you want to know what is special about us.’
‘Enlighten me,’ Steven asked in a dull voice, as he hoisted his trousers back on.
‘We are supposed to make excellent lovers,’ she whispered, as she got within touching distance. Perhaps if she played her cards right, he would change his mind. She would do anything to make him love her.
‘Really? Well I’m not in the mood right now. Don’t you have another victim in mind?’ he added.
The way he looked at her made her falter. Regardless, he had to see what he meant to her – he had to know. She was in love with him, she was sure of it. ‘Ever since I met you I have only ever wanted you. I had to wait until you changed, but now, well, let’s just say… the time is right. We are meant to be together.’
Barely inches from his face, she saw his expression transform from anger to bewilderment.
She probed him with her eyes, and continued, ‘I am in love with you, Steven. From the first time we met, I felt a connection. I know you felt it too, even though you now ignore it. Give me a chance. Please, I can help you to become everything you are destined for. Together, we would make an excellent match. In time, you might even learn to love me.’
Without hesitation she lunged towards him and kissed him. At first, he did not seem to respond, but then his lips moved with hers and she felt his hands caress the back of her neck. It made her shiver involuntarily. Things were going in the right direction. He was aroused – finally. Her hands gripped his back, as she let out a low moan.
A loud bang broke the moment.
‘Am I interrupting something?’ Kayla asked, as she flung her shoe at Ingrid.
‘Kayla!’ Ingrid gasped.
‘You bitch, how could you? You are my cousin. You know how much I like him, but you don’t care, do you?’ Kayla shouted, her eyes narrowed at Ingrid, she turned to face Steven. ‘And you, to think I was worried about you, to think that I wanted to help you. All you’ve ever done is reject me, and why, for her? You have to be joking. I’m out of here, you can have each other,’ Kayla snapped, as she turned and fled.
***
Steven frowned at Ingrid, his momentary lust replaced by disgust. It was the first time he had consciously kissed her back. Fortunately, Kayla’s interruption had kicked his brain into gear. His head would not ignore his heart. ‘Ingrid, I’m sorry. Look, I don’t want to hurt you anymore. This shouldn’t have got out of hand. I don’t think we are right. I was just, well, tempted.’
‘Tempted is good, you have needs. I can help with that,’ Ingrid teased.
It was too late for that.
‘No, not now. Not ever. You’ll only get hurt. I don’t have, how can I say this, feelings for you. It would only ever be lust. You don’t want that, trust me. As much as I don’t want to care, I do. I don’t want to use you.’ A shag would have been nice all the same, but it wouldn’t have made him feel better in the long term.
‘But, in time, in time. You could learn to love me. I never expected love at first sight. I…’
Steven shook his head, so she stopped talking. In a stern tone, he repeated his intent, ‘I’m sorry. Find someone else.’ He picked up his shirt, put it on, and started to leave.
‘Steven, please…’
Nothing she said would make him go back. It was foolish to walk away from a blonde bombshell and he did want to have sex with her. The point was that’s all it would be – sex. Nothing more. He had some pride left.
Just because she threw herself at him did not mean he would take her up on the offer. Well, he would have – he had been tempted. If Kayla had not shown up, things could have got interesting.
He needed a place to think, a place where he could be alone.
Chapter 42
Temptation
Steven could only think of one place where he could truly switch off. Besides, the farming area was the only place within the community where he could be outside. It was already dark, and the clear sky meant the stars were on full display. The sight was breathtaking. The fluorescent lights in front of him, which came from the greenhouse, made him look up. He walked along the periphery, conscious of the fact Lucy might be around. Lucy was eccentric, to say the least, yet, he sensed she was also disheartened by the supposed utopia the community had created.
Through the shady glass panel he saw some movement, so he stopped and kept still. Lucy was singing a gentle song as she went about her business. Even at this time of night she was still working. Saying that, he doubted it was work – it was her life. The words formed a familiar melody he recognised – a Beatles track. Caught off guard by the fact she liked the same music as him, he found himself wandering to the entrance to watch.
From a distance, he could see her delicately lifting a seedling from one of the small containers and placing it into a larger pot. With care, she started to place more soil around it and lovingly pressed it down. Unaware of his attention, she fetched the next seedling to repeat the process. It was entrancing to see the gentle manner in which she treated the young plant – as though it was a fragile treasure. Taking the opportunity, he looked carefully at her disguised features. Covered in dirt, with loose shapeless clothing, he found himself studying her, as though it was the first time he had set eyes on her.
He could not help wondering if he would end up like a recluse if he did not let go of his love for Caitlin.
He frowned and briefly closed his eyes, then he attempted to leave unobserved. His attempt was thwarted as he accidentally knocked over a pot by the doorway.
‘I know you’re there Steven, please come in,’ Lucy said, her tone amused. She lifted her head and made eye contact.
Startled, he called out, ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I just needed some space.’
‘I understand what it’s like to want to get away,’ she said. She momentarily glanced at him, before diverting her eyes back to her seedling.
Taken aback by the set of sparkling eyes that greeted him, he waited for her next move wondering why he wanted to stay with her. Maybe it was because of his inopportune moment with Ingrid or perhaps it was just sheer loneliness. Impulsively, he blurted out, ‘Why do you hide out here?’
‘What I do in my time is my business.’ Her tone sounded defensive.
He stepped forward. ‘Fair enough, but I understand you tend to keep to yourself. I was just curious and could not help thinking that forever could be very lonely without anyone to share it’
‘How would you know anything about loneliness?’ she retorted, face flushed.
‘I know enough about it. I was torn from my life, my family and everything I ever thought of as real.’
‘You don’t know anything about pain,’ she replied, her fists clenched. She left the plants and stood up.
‘So what’s it like then? Enlighten me,’ he challenged.
She brushed her hands against her sides and sighed, before she walked past him to the doorway and looked up at the sky.
After a few minutes of silence, he made his way towards her. It might be for the best if he just left. ‘Look I’m sorry. I’ll just go.’
Lucy stepped out of his way and kept her face shielded. ‘Yes, just go,’ she spluttered.
Steven could not believe she was crying. He could not understand what he had done to make her cry. Even if it was not his fault, he could not leave her like that. Without thinking, he took her in his arms. As soon as he did her head leant against his chest and her arms wrapped around him, as she continued to cry
for a few more minutes. Eventually, she calmed down and started to breath normally.
Steven eased back. ‘Feeling better?’
Flushed, she replied, ‘Yes.’
Instinctively, he wiped her tears from her cheek with his hand.
***
It could have been their proximity or the romantic nature of Steven’s gesture that sent Lucy over the edge. She had spent twenty years refusing to get close to anyone, shying away from any potential suitors. Now, she was too weak and lonely to turn away. But, more to the point, there was nothing she could do to stop reacting. She placed her hand firmly over his and kept his hand on her face. Then she turned and kissed his hand. A moment later, Steven leant in and kissed her on the lips. As she kissed him back, she was astonished at his response. His need seemed to be as great as hers as they mutually explored each other’s mouths. Finally, they broke for air and gasped for breath. Neither could speak. The intensity of the situation was confusing. Lucy took control, held his hand, and led him to her bedroom.
*
Lucy lay on her side, facing away from Steven. She listened to the rhythmic sound of his steady and deep breathing. He had managed to fall asleep immediately. She was lying awake in awe of what she had done. It was not as though she had not enjoyed it – she definitely had. She had no idea what on earth had come over her. She had never slept with anyone before. The only person she had ever wanted was Ian.
Now, she had been intimate with his nephew. Something about that sounded wrong, even if they were both, strictly speaking, the same age. She also knew he was getting over someone. A man on the rebound. Not exactly a good prospect. She could not understand how she could have got herself into this situation.
Unable to fall asleep, she carefully pulled back the sheet and picked up her clothes. As she crept away, she glanced back, and noticed his angelic features. There was no denying the attraction. From the moment she had seen him, she had considered him to be good-looking. It just seemed wrong. Surely, it was impossible that someone like him was meant for someone like her. Yet, everything happened so naturally. They had fit perfectly just like a lock and key. Logically, she knew it was not enough to just fit with someone else – there was more to it. She was realistic. Whatever had brought them together was bound to be short-lived. A fling, nothing more.
***
Steven turned around in a semi-conscious state and wondered where Lucy had gone. In a way, the fact she had left made it easier for him. He was not sure what to say to her. Was ‘thank you’ just too rude? He was not sure if he had used her, or vice versa. He just hoped they had used each other. The last thing he needed was someone that expected more. He could not give more. Either way, he did not regret what had happened. They had simply responded to their natural instincts. It was lust, nothing else – he hoped. After looking around for signs of Lucy, he dressed, and left quietly. As he got to the door, he took one of the flowers from her vase and left it on her pillow – it was a gesture.
Out in the open, he was startled by a bird swooping down in front of him. Once on the ground, it pecked at the loose soil with conviction and snapped up the juicy worm lying dangerously close to the surface. Trapping it in its beak, it flew away triumphant.
‘Now it can feed its young,’ Lucy exclaimed, as she came up behind Steven.
Steven replied without emotion, ‘You don’t think it’s just looking out for itself?’
‘No, not with that much determination, its natural instinct is to do anything it takes to raise its family.’
‘Is that our natural instinct?’ Steven asked. He wanted to know what she thought. He did not know why, but he just did.
‘I guess, although, I’ve never really looked after anyone other than myself. I have never been responsible for children. Not like that bird. If she does not feed her young, they will die. Then again, I do have my babies,’ she said with a smile, as she pointed at her plants. ‘They are what I love to look after.’
‘I have never been responsible for anyone either.’ He left the sentence hanging.
The situation was getting awkward.
***
From the moment Lucy had laid eyes on Steven, she had been intrigued by him. It had been a struggle to remember he was a student, not a potential mate. Every time he had been around, she had actively avoided being close to him, sensing an uneasy vulnerability. The fact she had been so weak when the opportunity arose made her wince. She ran her finger over her lips, the feel of his lips on hers lingered. She felt her cheeks flush, and an unfamiliar discomfort came over her. Being with Steven had awoken emotions she hadn’t known existed. She was not convinced it was him she wanted, but she recognised there was another side to her she had ignored. There were needs she had ignored.
Eyes on the ground, she cherished the silence between them as she considered the turn of events. Until yesterday, she had heard talk of his change. As far as everyone was concerned, it appeared nothing was untoward. Now, she knew for herself. There was nothing abnormal about him – in fact, he looked better than ever. Even though she was not interested in a relationship, she was still reeling from the effects of their close encounter. Inadvertently, she blushed again at the memory. It was nice to be surprised after all this time. For a long time, she had convinced herself that she would never make love to any man. She had convinced herself that it was not important. For the first time in her life, doubt surfaced. She had tasted the forbidden fruit and she liked it.
***
In this situation, it would be common to leave quickly with minimum conversation – after all it was just a one-night stand. However, Steven had never had a one-night stand before and even though he was trying not to make things complicated, he just wasn’t the kind of man that could walk away without clearing the air. With hesitation, he spoke, ‘Anyway, I hope you didn’t mind, I mean, are you alright about what happened?’
‘Of course,’ she replied with a smile. She seemed lost.
Shuffling from one foot to the next, he considered his words. This was getting unbearable.
Lucy turned, and started fiddling with one of the seedlings by the entrance. Looking up, she faced him, and added in a matter-of-fact voice, ‘Did you want anything else?’
In a bid to be upfront and honest, he came out with what was on his mind, ‘Look, it was a bit full on. I enjoyed being with you – a lot – but I’m not really looking for a commitment at the moment. I just wanted to check that you didn’t want more. It’s not that I’m not attracted to you, I hope you know that. I need to figure out what I’m all about before I get involved with anyone.’ He knew he was rambling, as he ran his hand through his hair.
A smile broke out on Lucy’s face. ‘Are you in love with someone else?’
The fact she seemed relieved and not upset, confused Steven. He had never understood women, and now he definitely had no idea how to read her. ‘Yes, I am. How did you know?’
‘I’ve been in love before. I saw the signs.’ She cocked her head to the side and gave an apologetic smile. ‘Don’t feel bad about what happened. It’s been great for me to know I could be intimate with someone after all these years. Sometimes, it’s just nice to take comfort in someone who can relate to the pain. I think I’ll go and check on the vegetables now,’ she sighed, before continuing almost absent-mindedly. ‘If you need a friend you know where I am. Whatever you are trying to sort out, I hope you work it out – don’t end up like me.’ As she continued, it sounded like she was talking to herself, ‘I’ve always thought that it was a shame that love was not a vegetable – I’d have grown it for myself years ago.’
Steven watched Lucy walk away, confused and speechless. He had taken advantage of the situation. Yet, he realised, she had been an equal partner in the event. The fact that she had read him like a book was unnerving. Was he that easy to read? She knew what they had done was not love. In a way, what he had done made him embarrassed. Had he come across as a foolish teenager? Was he so blinded by anguish that he would use someone els
e to replace Caitlin that easily?
The truth was he was not surprised.
He was selfish.
If he had to kill to survive he was a selfish being. Even if it had not been a truly conscious decision, it had still been his action that caused the death of that old woman. In the same way, he had used Lucy. It was irrelevant if she had used him back.
Chapter 43
You Can’t Change Who You Are
The promise Jensen had made Emily, weighed on his mind. He did not mind keeping an eye out for Steven, but he was not going to let him hurt Susanna. She came first, she always would. Unfortunately, this meant he had failed to look out for his friend. It was tricky. Even though Steven was going through a rough time, it did not justify Steven behaving like a jerk. He snapped out of his thoughts as Susanna glanced in his direction. Every time she looked at him he felt her magnetic pull, luring him in.
Susanna gave him the smile he loved before she spoke. ‘Have you seen Steven since yesterday?’
It was typical of Susanna to show concern; she was always the first to forgive.
‘No.’
She pursed her lips. ‘I don’t want you to fall out over me.’
‘Don’t worry, we won’t. I’ll sort it out,’ Jensen reassured. He picked up a slice of toast and took a bite. He needed the distraction.
‘He doesn’t look that stable. Is that how I’ll be?’
There was fear in her eyes, he could tell. He put down the bread, sipped his orange juice, and looked thoughtful. ‘I don’t know. It’s not easy to change. There is an aggressive side that seems to surface, in some men in particular. Most women develop their own instincts, and seem to weigh up their options more carefully. That’s only from what I’ve been told.’
‘I hope I keep level-headed. I don’t like the thought of going crazy,’ she laughed.
‘I’m sure you will.’ His eyes lingered on hers for a moment longer than he dared. ‘I’ll do my best to keep you sane.’
There was nothing he wanted more than to be close to her. He had imagined on numerous occasions what it would be like to kiss her. Ever since his change, the need to be with her was becoming unbearable – it was getting harder and harder for him to ignore the attraction.
Hybrid (The Evolution Trilogy) Page 27