by Helen Lacey
Only, what if Tess couldn’t get through to her? What if she really was in a serious relationship? What if? He hated those two words.
What if the plane hadn’t crashed? What if he had asked his wife to skip flying that day? What if he’d taken the time to notice how unhappy Annie really was?
He knew one thing for sure. He had to figure out a way to convince Annie to stay.
And fast.
* * *
Annie pulled a couple of shirts out of the old wardrobe in the corner of the bedroom and tugged at the red T-shirt she’d slipped on, thinking she would prefer to change back into her soaking-wet shirt. At least that fit properly. Leah was slim and athletic, so her clothes weren’t a great fit. But she needed to wear something while her shirt dried out. Annie grabbed her wet shirt and left the bedroom, coming face-to-face with David within seconds.
Without his glasses, he was just as handsome, but less serious looking.
“Contacts?” she queried. “You don’t normally wear them on the weekend.”
“I don’t normally go horse riding in the rain, either. But glasses don’t cut it in a storm. And I’m a whiz at putting in contacts in a hurry.”
Annie took a step farther into the room, aware that the rain was still pelting on the roof. She walked toward the fireplace and carefully draped her shirt over the mesh fire screen.
“So, why did you?” she asked when she faced him again. “Come out in the storm, I mean.”
“I didn’t want you stuck out in it alone. Storms can be dangerous.”
“I can take care of myself,” she said.
“You forgot your cell phone,” he pointed out.
Annie shrugged lightly. “You knew I’d come here, obviously. I’m fairly predictable when it comes to my horse-riding habits. And this place is perfectly safe.”
“Leah got stuck here for three days once, remember?” he reminded her. “Two years ago. The creek flooded and she couldn’t make it across until the rain stopped.”
She did remember. They’d all been worried sick for days. “You’re right. I should have taken my cell. I’m sorry. I was just rushing and... I forgot. It was careless.”
Always call. Always keep in touch. When she’d first arrived at the ranch he’d made it clear about his expectations and later she learned why. When Jayne McCall and Sandra Petrovic had died, there had been no communication, no calls, no opportunity to say goodbye. Now the whole family had texts and calls flying between them on a daily basis. At first, it had seemed suffocating and dependent...but she understood. They had all experienced an excruciating loss; keeping in touch was their way of staying connected to each other. Of letting each other know they were safe. That, yes, they were coming home.
“It’s not a big deal, Annie... I only—”
“I know,” she said, cutting him off. “I get it. I know why it’s important. It’s because of your mom and Jayne and I—”
“The kids would be devastated if anything happened to you.”
The kids. Of course. “I know. But I’m fine.” She forced a smile. “Just soaked through.”
He didn’t move, and when he spoke again, his voice was unusually raspy.
“Why are you doing it, Annie? Why are you really leaving us?”
Because I have to...
“I told you why,” she said, dying a little inside.
“Because you want to marry some guy you’ve never said a word about, never been seen with, never introduced to anyone...right?”
“It’s not like that,” she said and harrumphed. “Byron is—”
“Byron?” he repeated and laughed humorlessly. “Seriously? What is he...a poet or history professor or something?”
“If you must know, he’s a fireman.”
He frowned. “Really? Where’s he stationed? Rapid City? Deadwood?”
“No,” she replied. “El Paso. Texas.”
The moment he realized what she meant, he made a disbelieving sound. “Since I know you’ve never been to Texas, that means you’ve never actually met this guy, right?”
“Well, I haven’t—”
“Is this some kind of online love-affair thing you have going?”
“It’s not a love-affair,” she said, coloring from head to toe with embarrassment because he made the idea sound so ridiculous. “You’re right, we’ve never met in person. But we’ve talked a lot on the phone and...” Her words trailed off and she shrugged. “I don’t have to justify anything to anyone.”
Or you...
That’s what she really wanted to say.
“But you plan on leaving here, moving to Texas and marrying someone you have never actually met?”
“Of course not!”
“But you said you wanted to get married and—”
“I do,” she defended. “You’re twisting this all around. Yes, I haven’t met Byron face-to-face...yet. But I...might. And if it works out...great. If not, then hopefully I’ll meet someone else.”
She felt better for saying it. Stronger. Like she was in complete control of her own life and her future. Even though inside, she was a quivering wreck. For one, there was something strange about the situation. Because they were alone together. Truly alone. There were no kids in the next room, no Mittie in the kitchen, no Ivan reading one of his old books in the front living room. Just the two of them. There was nowhere to escape, nowhere to avoid his luminous green eyes.
“This doesn’t sound like you,” he remarked.
She harrumphed. “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do?”
“I know you’re not reckless and impulsive,” he said quietly. “If you were, I would never have entrusted you with my kids.”
She knew that. David cherished his children, and their well-being was paramount. “I’ve always appreciated your trust in me.”
“Have you?” he queried and raised a brow. “You know, since my children adore you, I believe I have the right to know why you’re acting as though they don’t matter in all this.”
“Of course they matter,” she retorted. “You know how much they mean to me. But I have to do this.”
“Why?”
She sucked in a breath. “Because...if I don’t leave now I might—”
“Is it him?” David demanded. “Is he telling you to do this...this fireman boyfriend of yours?”
Annie shook her head. “It’s me,” she replied. “This is what I want.”
“I don’t quite believe you, Annie,” he said, tilting his head a fraction and meeting her eyes with his own. “There’s something else...something that you’re not saying. I know you. And yes, I know you care deeply about Scarlett and Jasper. I also think you wouldn’t leave them unless it was something important.”
It is important. It’s my sanity. My soul. My heart.
“You wouldn’t understand,” she whispered.
“Try me.”
She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Not ever.
His gaze was suddenly hotly intense and unwavering and Annie was rooted to her spot by the fireplace. His green eyes seemed to travel over her slowly, lingering where the T-shirt didn’t quite meet with the waistband of her jeans, exposing her belly just a little. Something flickered inside her. Something that seemed at odds with the usual dynamic of their relationship. Usually she knew what she saw in his gaze...respect, friendship, indifference.
Not this...whatever this was.
It was undefinable. Unexpected.
Something told her he was as surprised by the sudden shift in mood between them as she was. But he still watched her, still allowed his gaze to hone in on her waist and then slowly travel upward, lingering, it seemed, on her breasts.
She swallowed hard, tugging at her shirt. Her nipples hardened instantly, as though her body knew he was observing her in a way that was different, somehow, as
though the close confines of the cabin had shifted the dynamic between them on some invisible axis and suddenly they weren’t employee and employer...they weren’t two people who had been forced into a companionable friendship because of position and familiarity. This was something else. Awareness at a base, primal level. And suddenly her blood was surging through her veins. She wondered if he was as surprised by the moment as she was and hoped that he couldn’t see how easily and quickly she reacted to him simply looking at her.
And then hoped, with every ounce of strength she possessed, that David McCall wouldn’t realize that she was hopelessly and completely in love with him.
Chapter Three
Of course, it wasn’t as though she had woken up one morning and realized that David was the love of her life.
True, she’d always thought he was incredibly attractive, even from those few first meetings a decade ago. But working for David, being a daily part of his life and caring for his children, had allowed her budding awareness to turn into something else. Something more. A deep attraction and a love she couldn’t deny.
But her feelings would never be reciprocated. She wasn’t his type. He liked women like Rachel, who weren’t into commitment. Annie wasn’t even sure David registered the fact that she was a woman. They had a good working relationship and she believed they had become friends over the years.
But he would never fall in love with her.
Which is why she had to leave.
The last twelve months had been the hardest. Being around him, watching him date someone else, knowing she was an employee and nothing more—knowing she never would be anything more—it was all too much to take day in and day out.
There was no other way. It’s not like she could or more to the point—would—suddenly start acting like some kind of siren and demand David take notice. That wasn’t her style. Besides, the dynamic of their relationship had been set from the beginning. He needed a nanny. She wanted a career change. His kids bonded with her quickly and he clearly recognized the value in keeping things between them strictly professional. Even if she had been his type, which she wasn’t.
He’d briefly dated two other women before Rachel and both had been the same type. Tall and lean and frosty. Not like her. And not like Jayne McCall, either, she thought. Jayne had been pretty in a girl-next-door kind of way. Blond and fair skinned, with freckles and a sweet smile, Jayne had loved her husband, children and flying. Annie had met her a couple of times during visits to town and remembered her as a nice woman, a kind, considerate, lovely person. She’d liked Jayne and often hoped that the other woman would approve of the way she was caring for her children. Of course, she doubted the other woman would be happy if she knew Annie had fallen in love with her husband!
“Annie?” He said her name and jerked her from her trance. “Please tell me what’s going on?”
“Stop asking me to explain myself,” she said and walked into the kitchen, trying to ignore the way he watched her as she moved, and wondering why he was doing it since she’d never noticed him doing it before.
“What if you get to Texas and this guy turns out to be a crackpot or a serial killer?” David asked, matching her steps.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed and turned on her heel. “He’s nothing of the sort.”
“How do you know?” he shot back. “What if he’s not even this fireman you seem so impressed by? He could be a used-car salesman for all you know.”
“Give me some credit,” she said and rolled her eyes. “We FaceTime, we Skype. I’ve had several video tours of the fire station where he works,” she explained, impatience winding through her blood.
“It could still be a scam,” he replied. “And you would care if he couldn’t support you.”
Annie frowned. “I can support myself. This isn’t the Middle Ages.”
“Well, what if you move to Texas and marry this guy and have kids and he can’t—”
“I’m not rushing out to move to Texas and marry Byron,” she said with a sigh.
“You said you wanted to get married,” he reminded her.
“Sure, if he’s the right guy,” she shot back.
“Be sensible, Annie...this is no way to meet someone.”
“What do you suggest? Are you now the expert on romance?”
His face darkened. “I don’t know how...but not like this. You can’t seriously be thinking about meeting this guy?”
She shrugged. “Why can’t I? It’s part of my plan. I also plan on taking a vacation. Maybe go to Hawaii. Read Brontë novels on the beach. And maybe somewhere in there I’ll get married to Byron. But whatever I do, it’s none of your business.”
“Maybe not,” he said and shrugged. “But I feel a certain obligation to make sure you are safe.”
“You feel a certain obligation to tell me how to live my life because suddenly it is impacting on yours,” she said and scowled. “That’s the real reason you’re getting so wound up about my leaving.”
“I’m not wound up, Annie. I simply want—”
“I know what you want, David,” she said, cutting him off as she tugged again at the T-shirt. “You like being organized and having all things going your way, all wrapped up in a neat little balance sheet that you can explain. Well, I can’t live like that. I’m not a balance sheet or a number. I’m a woman with real feelings. And like anyone else on the planet sometimes I’m unpredictable and I do things without having a motive or an agenda.”
His gaze rolled over her again, this time at a more leisurely pace, making her intensely aware of the sudden lack of space between them. “I’m well aware that you are a woman, Annie.”
Could have fooled me...
She shrugged, turning hot all over, despite the fact it was cold and rainy. “Anyway, I think we’ve covered this subject enough for one day. When do you think we can head back?”
He took his cell phone from his jean pocket, flicked over the screen a few times and then spoke. “According to the weather app, it’s going to rain for at least the next couple of hours.”
Hours?
I’d rather risk the thunderstorm.
“I think I’ll go and check the horses,” she said, still tugging at her shirt.
“I’ll check them,” he said and waved a hand. “No point in you getting wet again now that you’re dried off.”
She could have sworn that for a moment, just a few seconds, his mouth was curved in a wry sort of smile. A smile that made him look unbelievably sexy. A smile he’d never flashed in her direction before.
I’m imagining things.
She didn’t take another breath until he turned and walked out of the cabin.
I have to pull myself together.
David doesn’t flash sexy smiles in my direction...not ever.
Annie found the kettle and set it on the stove, then rinsed out Leah’s mugs and rummaged through the cupboard for coffee and sugar. The coffee tin was empty and when she found tea bags settled for them, plopping them in the mugs as she waited for the water to boil.
A few minutes later she heard the front door open and close and David was back in the kitchen. “They’re fine,” he said and plonked his hat on the table. “It’s cold in here. We should sit by the fire.”
Annie looked at the fire crackling in the hearth and nodded. “I’m making tea.”
She knew David didn’t really like tea. He was a coffee drinker. But he didn’t refuse the mug when she passed it to him. Seconds later they were sitting on the large sofa. It was lumpy and not all that comfortable, but it was better than a kitchen chair.
“I should get some new furniture for this place,” he said and stretched out his long legs, holding the mug steady on the arm of the sofa. “Leah still stays here sometimes. It could do with some new drapes and a comfy couch. You can order a few things if you like.”
Annie
stared at him over the mug. “I’m pretty sure you can do your own shopping.”
He shrugged fractionally. “I could, but I hate shopping. You know that.”
She did know. In fact, she knew a lot about him. In the four years she’d lived in his home she’d come to know his likes and dislikes and his moods. She knew he liked watching action movies as much as old black-and-white classics. He didn’t dance—ever. She knew he liked cherry cola and ham-and-cheese sandwiches. He hated pineapple on pizza and always put extra salt on his fries. He didn’t get more than six hours’ sleep a night.
He had a scar from having his appendix removed when he was a teenager, and a tattoo of his children’s names on his left shoulder. Not that she had seen him totally naked, but over the years there had been occasions when she’d witnessed him coming from the bathroom, a towel slung over his shoulder, his jeans hanging loosely on his hips. Or in the kitchen late at night in pajama bottoms and a tank top. He had an acutely masculine physique and worked out most mornings on the rower or treadmill he had set up in one corner of the huge garage. He had a desk job, after all, so the exercise ensured he didn’t spend all of his day sedentary. He even joined her occasionally on her Sunday morning runs if Mittie was able to watch the kids for an hour. He always politely stayed at her pace, and she suspected it was more about catching up about the kids than a serious workout, since she was sure he could have easily outpaced her.
“Leah should do it,” she said quietly. “Since she spends the most time here.”
“Not a chance,” he said and grimaced. “My sister will fill the place with weird-shaped furniture and scented candles.”
Annie smiled. Leah was known to have eclectic taste in furnishings. “If I get time,” she said and shrugged. “I’ll look around.”
“Didn’t you promise to stay for a month?”
She held up two fingers. “Two weeks.”