“That’s amazing,” Nikos said. “There are so many good ones around here. I bet that’s a great job.”
“Also,” Vasilis said to Nikos, “she see you in Facebook. Wants to meet you.”
Anna felt her stomach drop.
“She wants to meet me?” Nikos repeated. “Why?”
“For a…” Vasilis tried, unable to place the word. “Rantevoú.”
Anna nearly dropped her spoon. “She wants to date me?” Nikos asked.
“Just to meet you,” Elena said. “She thinks you’re cute, apparently.” Anna didn’t look up from her bowl, but she could tell Elena was looking at her. Nikos, too, for that matter. Poor Vasilis was the only one who didn’t seem to notice how flushed her face was getting. At least not for a moment. But even he eventually realized what the other two were looking at.
“Oh, so sorry, you are boyfriend and girlfriend?” he asked, pointing between Anna and Nikos. The table was silent for a moment.
“No, we’re not,” Anna finally said, looking up at Vasilis, determined not to lose it at the table.
Nikos looked at Anna, and she could see the wheels turning. Then he nodded almost imperceptibly as he came to a decision. He turned back to Vasilis. “Yeah, okay. Set us up.”
At that moment, both Elena and Nikos looked at Anna, and she felt her face go red. She needed to get up before she started crying. Or hyperventilating. Or both.
“You and Maria sound like a great match. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go check on something outside.” Anna pushed her chair back and stood up from the table, walking out the front door just as tears began to fall.
“You’ve been doing a lot of that tonight,” Elena said from behind her a few minutes later.
“Doing what?” she asked without turning around.
“Crying.”
So the music hadn’t masked her sobs like she had hoped. Not now, and not when they arrived. Oh well. She had caused enough of a scene back there that it was pretty obvious how she felt.
“I’m sorry,” she said to Elena. “I didn’t mean to ruin dinner.”
“I told him not to bring it up,” Elena said, putting an arm around Anna. “But, girl, you have to be okay with this. You made your decision, and now you’re the one dragging things out. You can’t expect Nikos to hold off on living his life until you leave.”
“I know. It’s just hard.”
“It was always going to be. From the moment you two met, it was always going to be a hard goodbye.”
They stared out at the hills for a while. The moon was so bright that they could see the waves rolling in toward Kamari beach. The tide was rising, and Anna could imagine the water getting higher and higher, swallowing the resort and the roads and the summer house and all of them in it, and then the whole island. Like a new Atlantis. It seemed more plausible than getting out the other side of this without hurting someone.
“Maybe I don’t want to say goodbye,” Anna said, turning to her friend. It was terrifying to admit out loud, but Nikos had been right. She knew that. “Maybe this is what I want.”
Elena sighed and cupped Anna’s face with her hands, meeting her gaze and holding it. “Then you need to make up your mind.”
Grace Linton sighed into the phone, and Anna rolled her eyes. She was sure Lizzy was doing the same thing.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Anna. You cannot stay in Greece forever. You have responsibilities here.”
“Do I?” Anna asked. “Like what? Because the only thing I can think of is my car that’s still at your house, which I haven’t actually driven since I moved to Manhattan.” She still hadn’t told them about the gallery placement, but with everything else she had going on with her photography, it seemed less important.
“Oh, please, I scrapped that last year.”
“You scrapped my car?”
“It was a piece of junk, and you seemed perfectly happy in Manhattan. When it was clear you weren’t moving back to Connecticut, I got rid of it.”
“Well, maybe you should have talked to her about it first.” Lizzy interjected.
Anna took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter now. You’re actually proving my point. I don’t really have anything tying me to the States. I have more here than I do anywhere else.”
“She’s not wrong, Mom,” Lizzy said. “She’s got a house, a job, a man—”
“I thought I told you to stay away from that Greek boy, Anna.”
“Well, Mom, you also told me that Dad cheated on you, but we all know that’s not true.”
“Oh, shit,” Lizzy whispered, and the line was quiet for a long moment.
“Anna Theresa Linton, my relationship with that man was very complicated. You will never be able to understand just how complicated.”
“I understand more than you know,” Anna said, looking over to the letters on the coffee table.
“Well, whatever you think you know, it doesn’t change the fact that Linton women have never done well on that island.”
“You mean you have never done good on the island. All you did was cause heartache and destruction. And I don’t want to do the same thing as you.”
“How dare you pretend to know what I went through,” Grace said, in a voice louder than Anna had heard from her mother in a long time. “I think this conversation is over. Goodbye.”
The line clicked, and Lizzy started to laugh.
“Damn, Banana. That was intense.”
Anna laughed as well. “Yeah, probably a bit uncalled for.”
“No, I’d say it was a long time coming. But, Banana?”
“Yeah, Liz?”
“I think it’s great if you want to stay. But just be careful you’re not doing it because of Mom.”
Anna frowned. “I wouldn’t decide where to live just because of how far it is from her. Though I can’t pretend that’s not a plus.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Lizzy paused. “You’re so desperate not to turn into her, not to do what she did. And I get that. She’s always been a bitch, and it sounds like it was no different when she was there. But if you’re going to stay, make sure it’s not just the opposite of what she did. Make sure it’s what you actually want.”
Grace,
I had a heart attack yesterday. Not a big one. The doctors didn’t have to operate; they just gave me aspirin and kept me overnight. But still, I thought you would want to know.
My parents are predictably devastated. My dad has told me I’m not allowed to work anymore. A neighborhood boy I have grown close to over the years is taking over my shifts until I’m back on my feet. Not that you care about any of that but, frankly, this hospital room is boring and I have nothing better to do than write to you.
This kid is great, Grace. He reminds me a lot of Lizzy, actually. He loves helping other people, but he doesn’t want anyone to notice. He’s smart, but he doesn’t care about that stuff. I actually made him go to college so he would have options, but sure enough he came back the second I hit the floor. He could do anything he wants in the world, but all he wants is to live here and work for my dad. Weird kid. But, then again, you’ve got one of them, too. Of course, him being so similar to Lizzy means they’d never get along. Actually, I bet he and Anna would like each other, if she’s anything like I imagine she is. Who knows?
They say that when you have a near-death experience, your life flashes before your eyes. Well, my heart attack must not have been serious enough, because that didn’t happen to me. It hurt like hell, but apparently not enough.
But what I did have was a moment of clarity. My biggest regret isn’t leaving. I think it was the only way forward. We had passed the point of no return a long time before that. No, my biggest regret is not accepting the way things actually were between us. If I had been honest with myself, then we could have been happy. Not necessarily together, but we at least could have dropped the charade and figured something out. Something that would have meant I could be with my children and you could have a life closer to the o
ne you imagined. Green Card marriages happen all the time between people who don’t love each other but care enough about each other to work out an arrangement. If I could have put aside my broken heart and my pride, maybe we could have had something similar.
But that’s not what happened, and I can’t change anything. All I can do is hope that I live long enough to see my girls someday. I’ve long stopped hoping that opportunity would come from you. All I can hope is that something brings them to me so that we can finally know each other.
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you’ve raised happy, healthy girls and say THANK YOU. If they can’t have their father, at least they have their mother. Hopefully you’re happier now than you were when we were together. I really do wish you the best.
Yours,
Giorgos
19
Anna pulled up to the Summerhouse on her new Vespa, parking it in her new driveway under her new trellis covered in pink flowers. She took her helmet off and wiped the sweat from it with her tee shirt. She took off her backpack, too, trying to ignore how it felt almost stuck to her back as she did. If she had thought it was hot when she first arrived on the island, she was eating those words now. It was the first time she had driven herself back from work instead of walking or being driven in the truck, and it was absolutely glorious to not have to trudge up the hill or wait around for Christos or Nikos to pick her, but it was no less sweltering under that helmet. She walked through the gate and turned the corner toward the front door.
“You’re late,” Elena said, and Anna saw that she was sat on the edge of the patio. “I’ve been here for a full hour.” She didn’t look hugely distressed, a Greek magazine in her hands and a glass of something – probably from Eirini – next to her, the condensation forming a ring on the white cement. She smiled up at Anna as she approached.
“I know, I’m sorry,” Anna said, unlocking the door and motioning for Elena to come through. “My shift ran late because of some tourists who wouldn’t leave, and then I had to go get gas.”
“For your new motorbike?”
Anna nodded.
“Seems a bit useless if you’re leaving soon,” Elena muttered under her breath, and Anna pretended not to hear her.
As she came inside, she hung her helmet on the new hook by the door and put her shoes in the basket underneath. Elena followed suit. Anna switched on the air conditioning unit she had bought for the window and stood in front of it as the air began to blow, slowly cooling as it did.
“That’s okay,” Elena said. “I started calling them anyway.”
“Oh, yeah?” Anna began unpacking her backpack on the table, pulling out a table runner, a pack of fairy lights, and two towels with a pretty filigree design stitched into them. Elena had promised to call some local estate agents for her and speak to them about the property. Anna had tried to do it herself, but their English was almost as bad as her Greek. So instead, she emailed before and after photos and a copy of the previous valuation, and Elena was following up on the phone. “What did they say?”
“They all said the same thing,” she said. “That the market is doing well right now, the economy is recovering, and the pictures you sent through indicate that you may have doubled or even tripled the value of the house.”
“That’s great,” Anna said, though she didn’t smile. She took the towels into the bathroom, removed the tags and started hanging them on the new handrail.
“Is it?” Elena asked, following Anna into the bathroom. “I still don’t understand what’s going on here, Anna.”
“I’m not sure what’s confusing about it,” she said. “I fixed up the house, and now I plan to put it on the market.”
“Yeah, but why?” Elena asked, sitting down on the lid of the toilet. “Aren’t you happy here?”
Anna stopped adjusting the towels and looked at Elena, exasperated. “Of course, I am.”
“And don’t you love the house?”
“You know I do,” she said. “But it’s not that simple.”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s what you keep saying.”
“And I mean it,” Anna said. “I’m happy right now, but I don’t know if I can be happy here long-term.”
“And why is that?”
Anna sat down on the edge of the tub. “I feel like I’m repeating myself over and over again,” she said. “I feel like this is the millionth time I’ve had this conversation.”
“Yeah, well, me too,” Elena replied quietly, sighing. “But you keep making no sense.”
Anna had almost told Elena and Nikos about winning the contest at least a dozen times. But every time she wanted to she became afraid of their reaction. She didn’t want to seem like one of those frigid bitches from Hallmark movies who always chose their careers over everything else. They’re not the heroines, they’re the girl at the beginning of the film that breaks the heart of the romantic lead. And even though that’s very probably what Anna would be doing, she didn’t want to feel that way.
“If I’ve learned anything from my dad’s letters, it’s that pretending everything is working doesn’t do people any favors.”
“Yes, but that’s ancient history,” Elena said, throwing her hands up. “You are not your parents.”
Anna shook her head. “No, I’m not. And I’m not going to repeat their mistakes. I’m going to cut my losses before anyone gets hurt.”
“No,” Elena said, shaking her head as well. “I’m not accepting that anymore. You know you’re hurting us anyway when you say you can’t be happy here, right?”
“Nikos said the same thing.”
“I’m not surprised. He’s probably more hurt than anyone.”
“That’s not my goal,” Anna said. “But I do honestly think it will hurt less this way.”
Elena stood up. “Whatever, Anna. Let’s just finish these calls.”
Every other time Anna and Elena had had this argument, they’d been able to go back to friends immediately after. But for the rest of the afternoon, Elena was distant. Even cold at times. Anna figured she probably felt like the end was near. And Anna wasn’t certain she could tell her it wasn’t.
Meanwhile, Anna couldn’t keep her mind off the fact that Nikos was meant to be out with Vasilis’s sister Maria tonight. The last she’d heard, they were meant to be eating dinner at the pizza place down the road from the resort. She felt a pang of jealousy as she imagined someone else sat across from him on a date.
“I hope Nikos is having a great time,” she said to Elena as she pulled their dinner out of the oven a couple of hours later, “but I’m also worried about what it means for us hanging out. Do you think he’d stop coming around?”
“So what if he did? You’re the one who’s leaving.”
“I mean, I’m not gone yet,” she said, and Elena laughed.
“Wow,” she said. “You think you’re really something, don’t you?”
Anna froze. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that you’re allowed to cut your losses by leaving on your terms, but we’re not allowed to cut our losses before then? What gives you the right to decide that for us?”
Anna shook her head. She was getting really tired of having arguments in this kitchen. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“No, I know what you meant,” Elena said, standing up from the table. “I am, believe it or not, emotionally intelligent enough to understand what’s happening here, even if you’re not.”
Anna took off her oven mitts and threw them down on the counter. “I think I understand my own situation perfectly well, thank you very much.”
“Not as far as I can see.” Elena crossed her arms.
“Okay then, why don’t you tell me how it is,” Anna said, crossing her arms as well and leaning against the kitchen counter, trying to act casual despite the fact that she could feel her face going red.
“Let’s see… Well, for starters, you weren’t happy back home.” Elena started pacing the floor. “You were in a shitty non
-relationship with your boss at a job that you didn’t actually like but didn’t feel like you could leave. And when you found out about the house, you jumped at the chance to shake things up a bit by coming out here. But when the option to go back to your crap life in New York was taken away from you, you convinced yourself that getting back there would prove everyone wrong. Then you actually started to fall in love with this place, but your pride is keeping you from admitting it and doing what would probably be the right thing for you. But I don’t really care about the right thing for you anymore. Not the way I care about the right thing for my family. And the right thing for us is to not be around someone who constantly hurts us.”
Anna could feel the tears forming, but she fought them back. She wasn’t going to give Elena the satisfaction of being right. Plus, if she defended herself, there’s no way she could avoid mentioning the gallery placement. And with Elena bringing up Marcus like that, there was no way she was going to do that.
But Elena was right, wasn’t she? The second Anna had been fired, she had started to romanticize her life back home, even as she built one in Greece. She had it way better here than she’d ever had it in Manhattan. Or Connecticut for that matter, at least since Lizzy left home at eighteen. Or maybe even since her dad left.
Now she was being given a chance at that life in Manhattan. Marcus finally wanted her, and she didn’t want to waste that opportunity. So why did she keep buying things like she was sticking around? Elena was right that she wasn’t being consistent. She had one foot in each possibility, and it was splitting her in two. She had been feeling that tension the entire time she had been there. She just hadn’t realized that it was splitting her friends apart as well.
Anna started to cry, unable to hold the tears back any longer. Elena softened a bit, and for a moment Anna thought that she was going to come comfort her. But she seemed to catch herself, re-crossing her arms, her jaw set.
The Summer House in Santorini Page 17