by Lannah Smith
Little steps. Baby steps.
For when the time comes for her to find out, she would be willing to accept it.
If not, he’d have to make her understand until she did.
“Don’t worry.” He leaned closer until their foreheads were touching and he closed his eyes. “Two days. I’ll come back within two days. You won’t even miss me that much.”
It took a while before she could speak.
“I don’t think I’d even miss you at all.”
Smiling, he lifted his head.
“But I will.”
She said nothing so he pulled her toward him and kissed her. She let him. She even kissed him back.
Victory made his blood pump hard for her.
But he had to go.
Reluctantly, he pulled away, rubbing her bottom lip.
Then he left the room.
Chapter 40
I didn’t watch Christopher leave.
I couldn’t. I just couldn’t watch him leave for his execution and wish him fucking well on his journey.
Still, I couldn’t fault him for this. His friends were precious to him. His friends had given him back something I had brutally taken away.
His heart.
And no matter how angry they would make me with their insults, I could never hate them because I owe them for that. They’d given him a place in this world. A friendship and brotherhood that were real. But they’ve also given him a lot of shit to clean up, especially Leon. They’ve also given me a lot of work, trying to clean up the muck they left behind so I could save their asses.
I looked at the clock on the way, wondering what Christopher was doing right now. If he was still breathing.
Gutted by this thought, I sucked in a breath and touched my lips, the lips that had returned Christopher’s kiss, the lips that had silently and shamelessly begged for him to stay yet still, he didn’t.
The worse thing about this whole situation was not knowing. But knowing might be even worse.
"Does it make you sad that he left you behind?"
Alec told me this as he set the plates on the counter. Apparently, I was to have breakfast with him.
"Does it make you angry that he left you behind too?" I countered, sitting on the stool, collecting myself together. "After all, aren't you his personal secretary?"
His eyelid twitched. "I'm not his secretary."
"Then what are you?"
"Not his secretary."
"His maid then?" I smirked.
Alec looked like he regretted starting this conversation. Or he was regretting not leaving with Christopher. Either way, he should have known by now that I wasn't going to take his crap.
We started to eat and I had to watch him down two cups of coffee. Who the heck drank two cups of coffee in succession?
“Me, obviously,” he said in a wry tone.
I pursed my lips. I hadn’t realized I said that out loud.
“You’re in a fighting mood today but I won’t accommodate you, Miss Locke. One because you look like you’re about to fall asleep on your toast any second by now and two, because someone has to feed the cat and it’s not going to be me.”
My eyes narrowed on him to show how little liking I had for his words but I couldn’t refute. I was struggling to stay awake. I was tired. I couldn’t go back to sleep after Christopher came to my room to say that he was leaving.
Alec was seeing some humor in my situation, which I didn't appreciate one bit. But that comment was so typical of him. He was so different from all the bodyguards I knew. Even Dan's father had kept his distance from me, only showing me his warmth on spare occasions.
"Christopher is too soft on you," I continued to glare at him.
His brows drew together. "I'd rather think I'm the one being soft on him."
"You act like you’re his employer," I said in disgust.
"I keep his best interests in mind."
"But he's your boss."
"That doesn't change the fact he hired me to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."
I thought about that for a brief moment. Then why wasn't Alec doing something about this… this plan of locking me up and going against my father? He clearly needed to stop Christopher.
Alec, reading my thoughts, dropped his gaze to his eggs.
Disgruntled, I lifted the glass of juice to my lips.
Had he really given up? Wasn't he just abandoning his duties then?
"You need to get your act together,” he suddenly said.
It was a good thing I’d swallowed the juice or I might have choked. “Excuse me?”
Standing and picking up his plate, he gave me a glance. “You heard me.”
I slammed the glass down in anger. "Wait, why am I getting lectured by you? You're the last person I want to hear such things from."
"It's been a pain for me because of how flaky you've been."
“Flaky?” I stuttered.
He shrugged nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just insult me. Then he collected the rest of the plates and put them in the sink, dismissing me completely, knowing he had seen right through me and knew that I was worried for his stupid boss.
Back in my bedroom, immersed in fear, I paced, wringing my hands together.
Even though Alec had just knocked to tell me that Christopher had arrived safely and was now at the hospital to see Sophia, I couldn’t get rid of the fear.
My father wasn’t stupid not to realize who had taken me. I was certain he already found out. Now he and Christopher were in the same city. Who knew what was going to happen to Christopher?
I’d like to think I was worried because I didn’t want to be the reason behind another person’s death. But I knew I was lying to myself. I just couldn’t stop lying to myself. It was the only way I could protect myself and the people around me.
I took a deep breath, sucking in more fear, trying to release it all on the exhale.
Loss was my greatest fear. I had just lost Dan and now I might lose Christopher too.
I closed my arms around me and prayed.
It was the only thing I can do.
"There she is."
Christopher smiled at the window.
"She's beautiful," he whispered. Like Terry said, little Maria was the most beautiful thing he’d also ever seen.
Terry circled her arm around his and placed her head on his shoulder. They were at the neonatal unit. The nurse had just pushed the incubator up closer and they were looking at the tiny baby through the glass.
"You haven't slept, have you?" Christopher asked, noting Terry’s bloodshot eyes.
"How could I?" she let out an exhale. "I cried so much on the way to the hospital after we got the phone call. Leon was beside himself with worry and fear when we arrived and John had his hands full trying to get him to calm down. I had to call Sophia's family. Her father almost didn't let me disconnect the call because he wanted more details and when he finally let me, I had to call Hannah and listen to her cry."
Her face had crumpled while she was talking but she had managed not to dissolve into tears. Taking several deep breaths, she squeezed his arm, as if taking comfort of his strength.
"And Rohan, it was hard for him to leave Emmy when she was sick but Emmy forced him to come. And when he got here, John too had to calm him down because he was furious at Leon for letting this happen to her.” She paused to clear her throat, swallowing with difficulty. “I know Sophia means a lot to him but he was aggravating the situation, Leon was already losing it, you know. Luckily, Will took him to the other waiting room to separate them."
When Christopher was sure Terry was finished letting it all out, he pulled his arm from her grip and wrapped it around her shoulders.
"It was hard for you, sweetheart," he kissed the side of her head and heard her take another deep breath, trying to keep it together. "But thank you for taking care of them."
"I'm just glad that Sophia is out of danger. And the baby too."
Her voice had turned w
istful as she stared at the baby. The strength with which she handled the situation was admirable but it had taken a toll on her. And now, looking at her, he knew there were other things she was worried about.
"Did you argue with John again?" he asked her.
"I don't want to talk about him," she muttered.
"Terry," he sighed. "It's time you talk to him about this."
Her head lifted and her gaze went to him. "About what?"
"About the real reason why you don't want to get married."
Her gaze hardened. "I don't know what you're talking about," she muttered angrily, shrugging his arm off her.
Christopher shook his head. "I know you do."
"You mean the world to me, Christopher, but you should mind your own business."
"You also mean the world to me, Terry." He put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing. "That's why I'm not minding my business. I don't want you to keep feeling scared. I know this is messing with your head."
Her eyes shone with unshed tears when she whispered, "I really wished you'd mind your own business, Christopher."
Chuckling, he wrapped his arms around her and gathered her close. She stiffened in his hold for a few seconds before she relaxed.
"I'm sorry, Terry. I'm just concerned for the two of you."
"I know," she muttered forlornly into his chest. "I'm just..."
Her voice was thin and anxious and he knew how much it took for her to admit that. It just confirmed everything he’d always known about her.
He rubbed her back to tell her he understood. "It's okay, Terry. You can do this. I know you can."
She broke into a soft giggle and lifted her head. "You're too perceptive, you ass."
He grinned down at her. "You're just too easy to read, sweetheart."
"Care to tell me why you have your arms around my girlfriend, Skull?"
Christopher glanced over his shoulder. Though the tone of his voice sounded pissed, the expression on his face was one of extreme concern.
Terry sniffed and stepped out of Christopher's embrace.
"Were you crying?" John demanded, pushing past Christopher to hold her face. "What happened? Is something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," she told him. "I just got a little emotional looking at the baby."
His tensed shoulders relaxed but the concern on his face didn't let up. "I'm sorry, honey. I couldn't look after you all night. Leon—."
"Hush, honey," she shook her head, wrapping her arms around his waist, "Don't apologize. Leon needed you. They both needed you. I'd have punched your face if you left their side."
"About last night—."
"I'm sorry," she kissed him. "I was being unreasonable. I—."
"We'll talk about it later,” John interrupted her firmly. “You look like you're about to drop on your feet. You need to sleep."
She shook her head. "I'm alright."
"You're not. I'm taking you - don't argue," he said when she was about to protest, "I'm taking you to your father's house since it's closer. We can come back later. Sophia's family and Leon's Dad is here, they can look after them in the meantime."
"Will has also taken Hannah home, Terry," Rohan said when he appeared. He too looked weary, like he had just returned from war. "You should go home too."
Terry hesitated before nodding, "Fine," she muttered. "I'll come back later."
Turning his head, Rohan looked at Christopher. "Leon wants to talk to you later," he said.
"We all want to talk to you," John interrupted with mild irritation.
Christopher tensed. "What did Leon say to you?"
"Nothing," Rohan scowled at him. "But we already have an idea of what's going on with you."
Terry was looking back and forth with a look of confusion on her face.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"We'll talk later," Christopher clipped. "John needs to take Terry to her father. And you need to go home, Rohan. I know you want to check on Emmy."
"Where will you be?" John challenged.
"In my hotel. I need to make a few calls.”
“You better be.”
He nodded, taking in their exhausted faces. It broke his heart to see them looking the world had crashed down around them. It would take a while for them to recover, they loved Sophia and like Leon, could not bear the thought of losing her in their lives.
He also couldn’t bear losing them in his too.
So that conversation didn't happen again.
When Leon came knocking on his hotel room, Christopher had disappeared overnight without telling any of them, leaving a mountain of stuffed pony plushies on his hotel bed for little Maria.
Chapter 41
Christopher kept his promise. And he came back quite sooner than I’d expected because not even 36 hours had passed since he left.
I wanted to feel angry.
I felt relief.
I wanted to feel annoyed.
But I missed him.
And that made me angry with myself and even angrier at him.
It was quite a sight, really. How I found out that he had returned. I had just walked down the stairs to see Christopher and Alec standing behind the couch. Cow was sitting on the floor in front of it and the two were staring at him with equal degrees of shock and disgust on their faces.
My stupid heart fluttered when I saw Christopher had come back. I wished he didn't look so good in just a shirt and jeans. Wished I didn't miss him so much I was shaking with it, remembering the kiss that we both shared before he left.
Finding my voice, I asked, "What on earth are you doing?"
For almost a minute, they didn’t say anything or act like they had even notice me at all.
"Let's just throw it away," I heard Alec mutter to Christopher.
Blinking twice, I asked, "Throw what away?"
Shaking his head, Christopher said, "Will bleaching the mouth work?"
"You'll kill it," Alec deadpanned. "It's better to just throw it outside."
It didn't take me another minute to figure out they were referring to the kitten.
"Are you crazy?" I went over to the kitten, glaring at Alec. "Throw it out? You want me to throw you out instead—?"
My words came to an abrupt stop when I saw what Cow had in its mouth. My jaw dropped.
A cockroach.
Cow had a freaking cockroach in its mouth.
"fucking A," Christopher cursed, latching onto Alec's arm. "It's moving. It's still alive."
"Drop the roach, Cow," Alec ordered.
Holding back laughter, I eyed the two. "I think it's payback for naming it Cow."
Still, it was as if I didn't exist. They both had all their attention on Cow and what it had in its mouth. I let out a loud sigh. I had become really good at that since Christopher was so damn exasperating. Then I dropped to my knees and stared at the black kitten.
"What do you have there, you silly animal?" I stroke Cow's head and under, trying to get it to spit the disgusting insect out. "Didn't I feed you enough?"
"April, April, April," Christopher gestured me over. “Don’t touch it.”
I scowled at him. “Oh, now you’re talking to me?”
"Let's just throw Cow out."
My scowl deepened. "Are you seriously terrified of one single cockroach?"
"It's disgusting."
"What's disgusting are both your behaviors." I shook my head. He was being ridiculous. Even his usual stoic employee was being ridiculous. "Pretending to be badasses when you can't even take care of a single insect," I muttered irritably.
Then I took hold of Cow's neck.
Christopher inhaled sharply. "Are you...?"
"No," Alec whispered in horror.
Ignoring the two idiots, I squeezed Cow's cheeks to make it open its mouth. When it finally did, the cockroach fell the floor in a wet, wriggling mess.
"If you touch it, I swear to God I'll throw you out with the cat," Christopher warned.
"Okay then," I mumbled then rea
ched for it.