by Harper Bliss
“Thanks, Jo. I’m fine. I’m a woman. I can take it.”
“Hear, hear,” Jo said, and poured Mia a cup of coffee anyway.
Whilst they were chatting, Mia had missed Amber and Lou approaching. Then they stood in front of her.
“I’ve got it,” Jo said. “Mia is feeling a little off today. Feel free to sit with Amber and Lou if you like,” she said to Mia. “Take a load off.”
Lou and Amber didn’t say anything, so Mia quickly said, “That’s fine. I don’t need a break.”
“What’s up with them?” Jo asked after she had brought Lou and Amber their beverages. “Have you all synced your cycles already?” She went quiet for a few seconds while she wiped the counter. “Did something happen last night when you went to Glow to help Amber and Micky out?”
Mia wasn’t sure if she would be able to keep her relationship to Lou a secret from Josephine, after all. The woman was too damn observant. Spending four and a half hours together crammed behind a coffee shop counter will do that to you. She would need to say something just to get Jo off her back. But she didn’t know Jo all that well yet. They’d met barely a week ago. She would need to be firm and vague at the same time.
“Look, Jo, something did happen, but it’s not something any one of us is going to talk about, so I’m going to need you to give it a rest.”
Jo draped her dish towel over the sink, then turned to Mia. “This is the Pink Bean. You can try to keep a secret, but from my years of experience in this place, I can tell you it’s probably not going to work.”
“I’m sorry, but I really can’t tell you more. And I would appreciate it if you didn’t quiz Lou and Amber about it. Just leave it be.”
“Okay.” Jo nodded. “That bad, huh?”
Mia contemplated asking Kristin if they could start the hiring process for a morning barista sooner, so she wouldn’t have to do the morning shifts anymore. Then she thought about giving her notice again. She’d be out of a job, but would that really be so bad compared to having to walk on eggshells around here every single day? She’d only been here a couple of hours this morning and already it was proving so hard.
“Please excuse me for a second.” Mia headed into the bathroom and stood inside the stall for long, silent minutes. Apart from the anguish in her own head before, during and after she was doing the actual bullying, Mia had never been properly punished for what she had done. Maybe that time had now finally come.
Chapter Nine
After her confrontation with Mia, Lou felt different. Lighter on her feet. Like a weight had—finally—been lifted. And yes, she still cringed every time she ran into Mia at the Pink Bean, but at least she didn’t have to fear that Mia would join her yoga class and the dread of Mia confronting her had been lifted.
Amber had been right—she usually was. Getting it all out into the open had been so much better than carrying it around in agonizing silence. Lou should have known better. Her yoga training should have guided her in the same direction that Amber had sent her in, but when it came to such deeply personal matters, training tended to fail the individual.
Now she sat, enjoying the wine that was being poured generously, and the laughter and easy conversation of these four women she had gotten to know over the past few months since she’d joined the staff of Glow.
Robin and Martha had tried to be supportive of their respective partners and had come to a few yoga classes. Before Lou had become an instructor at Glow, she had actually been in one of the classes Martha and Robin had attended together. Their disrespectful giggling had got on Lou’s nerves and their yoga habit had not stuck.
“I used to believe otherwise, but not everyone can be converted,” Amber had said laconically.
Amber’s partner Martha had cooked a vegan meal at her home in Camperdown, and Lou had carpooled with Micky and Robin. Working at Glow felt like an automatic inclusion in their group, which often extended to Kristin and Sheryl and occasionally to Caitlin and Josephine.
Lou had lived in Brisbane for almost ten years and although she had returned to Sydney frequently, most of the close friendships she had enjoyed before leaving had petered out. Besides, Lou was a different person now. It had been easy enough to rekindle her friendship with Phil, who now was a dad and a husband, but other relationships hadn’t fared so well.
Lives can diverge, time changes people and Lou wasn’t the best at keeping in touch and keeping the fires of long-distance friendships stoked. She had also learned that knowing someone in your early twenties is very different to knowing someone in your early thirties. So she was glad to have found this group of almost friends that came with the job.
“Can you believe I’ve never been to Brisbane,” Robin said. “Is it something that can’t be missed?”
“Brisbane is lovely. It’s much… gentler than Sydney. Much smaller, of course, which suited me fine. And a whole lot cheaper as well. So yes, you should go.”
“Was it hard coming back to Sydney?” Martha asked.
“Yes and no.” Lou looked into her pale eyes. When she first met Amber, she would never have pictured someone like Martha as her partner, even though she couldn’t quite explain why. “My family is here and we’ve always been very close, so it’s been great to be back. Although living with my parents again took some getting used to. But sure, it was hard to leave the city where I’d made a life. I just really needed a change. And to not run into my ex, because that’s what happens in Brisbane. You run into the people you don’t want to run into all the time.” She scoffed. “Sydney is a new start for me. Well, perhaps not really new anymore as I’ve been back for six months now. But I grew up in this city so it’s good to be back. To come home.”
Martha nodded and just gave a prolonged hmm as an answer.
“What?” Lou asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I don’t know… You’re such a gentle soul. You have the same glow about you that Amber has. What kind of madwoman in Brisbane let go of you?”
“Stop flirting with my colleague, babe,” Amber said. “I’m sitting right here.”
“I’m not flirting.” Martha gazed at Amber and stared into her eyes. “Why would I flirt with anyone else when I’m with you?” She turned her attention back to Lou. “I’m just observing.”
“Lou, please don’t feel as though you need to talk about your ex just because Martha is overly curious.”
Lou appreciated how protective Amber was about her, and had become even more so since she’d told her about Mia. She had all the qualities of an excellent mentor. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.” Lou took a sip from her wine, then continued. “To put it quite simply, Angie and I grew apart. About three years ago she got this new job and it started taking up more and more of her time. Other things became important to her, like making more money and going to the right kind of networking events. Things that had never interested her—or me—before. But most of all, she was never home anymore. She was always at some after-work cocktail party schmoozing with her bosses or at some self-improvement seminar over the weekend. In a nutshell, we never really recovered from that.”
“Did she do CrossFit?” Micky asked. “A-type personalities prefer those kind of brutal workouts to the more holistic and gentler benefits yoga has to offer.”
“I’ll have you know that people with lots of different personalities do CrossFit,” Robin replied.
“But not a lot of them have time for yoga in their schedule,” Micky said, sending Robin a wide smile.
“Every time,” Robin said. “Do yoga and CrossFit really need to be pitted against each other every single time? Besides, Lou wasn’t finished with her story yet. You work with her and get to ask her questions all day long, but I don’t.” Robin blew Micky a kiss and refocused her attention on Lou. “I’m very sorry for the rude interruption. I would try to make some excuse for my worse half’s behavior but you must know her well by now.” Robin winked at Lou.
Micky hadn’t been too far off in her observatio
n. Robin did remind her of Angie in some ways, but as far as Lou knew, only the good parts of their personalities matched.
“That’s about all that there was to it in the end. Well, apart from the fact that my biological clock started ticking and Angie was becoming more and more of an expert in ignoring that. I’ll be thirty-two soon. I have some time, but not that much either.”
“You want children?” Martha asked.
“Yes. I do. Very much so.”
“Well you have the womb, all you need is some seed. I can always ask my ex-husband Darren. He produces marvelous children and he seems to still be very fertile.” Micky shook her head.
Lou remembered the day not so long ago when Micky had arrived at Glow very upset because she had just heard that the father of her teenage children was going to become a dad again.
“Men are just such clichés,” Micky continued. “First he trades me in for a younger model, then he gets said younger model pregnant. Can it be any more by the book?”
“That wasn’t quite how things went down,” Amber said in her steady, but stern voice.
“Oh, I know. But I’m allowed to be a little upset about this. Chris and Liv are going to have a baby brother or sister, for crying out loud. That was never the plan.”
“So many things never go according to plan,” Martha said. “I believe they call that life.”
“That’s right,” Robin said. “Did you ever plan that you would be sitting here with someone like me, my darling?” She blew Micky another kiss.
“That obnoxious sweaty woman ordering wet cappuccinos every day.” Micky shook her head while a big smile appeared on her face. “Not in a million years.”
“Nor had I planned to still be in Australia at this point, but look at me, tied to my woman and her country,” Robin said.
The only slightly difficult bit about hanging out with these four, Lou thought, was that they were all so happily coupled up. For someone still in the aftermath of a break-up, it was sometimes hard to face these displays of love. These displays of what Lou could have had if, perhaps, she’d fought harder for her relationship.
But she and Angie needed to have been fighting together to win that particular fight. All the while Lou was trying her best to bridge the gap that had formed between her and Angie, she never got the impression Angie was in the trenches with her, battling for their survival. Whereas now that Lou had been gone from Brisbane for six months, Angie seemed to be regretting her unwillingness to fight when it mattered most. But it was too late. Angie was part of her past now. Lou had to look to the future.
“Do you have a plan?” Martha asked Lou. “To conceive and all of that. I presume you won’t be going about it the all-natural way.”
“Hardly.” Lou shook her head. “Ideally, I would find a new partner first so that I won’t be a single mother, even though that doesn’t solve the seed problem, of course.” She chuckled. “Then I figured we’d go to a sperm bank. That’s about as much of a plan as I have at this point.” Although the need to have children was very concrete to Lou, she felt like she couldn’t fine-tune the details until she had first fully gotten over Angie and, perhaps, explored the possibility of a new relationship.
“That’s a long road to go down,” Martha said, “but it’ll be worth every step of the way. Having children is just… how to say this… what makes you simultaneously the strongest and the most vulnerable. Definitely life-changing. Nothing will ever be the same again. And it will be hard, but it will also be worth every single second.”
“I second that. My children are teenagers, so there are a lot of hard times in our house right now,” Micky said.
“Sounds to me like we need to find Lou a girlfriend,” Robin said. “Or do you have your sights set on anyone in particular already?”
“God no. I’ve basically just been licking my wounds after Angie.” She sank her teeth into her bottom lip. “I recently installed Tinder, but I haven’t had many reasons to swipe right. Besides, it’s such a superficial way to meet someone, solely based on looks, while looks are really not that important to me. Not to say that they are of no value at all, but other things are more important. Things you can’t see on your phone screen in a matter of seconds.”
“There must be a few single lesbians in your yoga classes,” Martha said. “Or has the boss forbidden you to woo your students?”
“I would never sleep with a student. I find it unethical,” Lou said. “Amber and I are fully on the same page when it comes to that.”
“I don’t remember ever telling you it’s unethical,” Amber said.
“Oh, how our yogi has softened of late,” Micky said. “It’s obviously Martha’s good influence.” Micky turned to Lou. “Amber used to think exactly like you. No matter how many times I argued that there was nothing unethical about saying yes when a student asks you out.”
“It’s different when they ask you out,” Amber said.
“Oh yeah? How many times did you get asked out and how many times did you say yes?” Micky asked.
“That’s beside the point.” Amber stared Lou in the eye. “Just to be clear. If anyone asks you out after a class, feel free to say yes. I know you would never take advantage of your position as a teacher.”
“Maybe I should come to one of your classes, after all,” Robin said. “Just to keep an eye on who’s ogling you.”
“That would be the day,” Micky said.
“Or…” Robin continued. “Why don’t we have a go at Tinder together right now? Surely the five of us will be a better judge of character based on someone’s looks than just you.” She sat there snickering. Micky was driving tonight, a fact of which Robin had taken eager advantage.
But Micky didn’t come to Lou’s rescue, neither did Amber or Martha. Maybe they were curious about the sort of people one could encounter via a phone app, or they were so invested in Lou’s plight to find someone—even though Lou wasn’t all that invested in it herself—they’d had enough of being rational at this late hour on a Saturday night.
“Do you have your phone on you?” Robin asked.
“Yes.” Lou was already reaching for it in her bag which hung from her chair. No harm could be done with this exercise. It was just a bit of fun really. “Here you go.” Lou unlocked her phone, opened the Tinder app, and handed it to Robin, the self-appointed ringleader in the quest to find Lou a girlfriend.
“How does this work?” Martha asked. “I’m too old to be up to speed with these things.”
“It’s easy,” Robin said. “First you create your profile and configure what you’re looking for, which I assume Lou has already done. Then you get to see an array of profile pictures and you swipe right on the ones you like and left on the ones you don’t like.”
“And this is for lesbians?” Martha asked, an incredulous note to her voice. “I find that very hard to believe. It’s too judgmental.”
“What? You think lesbians can’t be judgmental bitches?” Robin said. She certainly was the life of the party tonight.
“I’m so proud of you, babe,” Micky said. “And all the words of wisdom you have for everyone tonight.” She brought a hand to Robin’s neck and kept it there.
“It’s not exclusively for lesbians. Anyone can register, then you just set a preference for whether you’re searching for men or women,” Lou said.
“Which often means you have to go through a lot of fake profiles put up by men stupid enough to believe that’s a great way to bed lesbians,” Robin said.
“You seem to know an awful lot about Tinder, babe,” Micky said. “Should I be worried?”
“Of course not, my love,” Robin said in an exaggerated sweet tone. “But I recently helped Meredith set up a profile. She’s actually been on a few dates already.” She looked as if a lightbulb had just gone off in her head. “Speaking of Meredith…” Robin fixed her gaze on Micky, then on Lou. “We’ll probably encounter her on here, so I can save you the trouble of swiping if you like, and make something happen.”<
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“No, no, no,” Micky said. “Meredith is not for Lou. She’s a stockbroker, for heaven’s sake. And a CrossFitter like you. She hasn’t set foot in a yoga studio in her life.”
“So? Opposites can attract?” Robin said.
“Do your swiping already,” Micky said. “If we happen to come across Meredith, Lou can decide based on what she looks like.”
“Okay, here we go. Everyone huddle around,” Robin said.
As Lou made her way behind Robin’s chair, so did Micky, Martha and Amber, and she thought about the strange turn the night had taken. But no matter how strange, she was also touched by the interest in her love life—and ultimately her happiness—these four women had taken. Although she was well aware this whole Tinder thing was also just very entertaining for them.
Robin started swiping and the first ten profiles they encountered were either met with a resounding No from everyone or a fake lesbian from Robin, the expert.
“See,” Robin said then. “I told you.”
“That’s Meredith,” Micky said. “Left or right, Lou?”
“Just so you know, she does have a softer side and likes to recite poetry at the Pink Bean open mic nights,” Amber said.
“How’s her poetry?” Lou asked.
“Does it really matter?” Micky asked, agitation in her voice. She was getting very worked up over this.
Lou peered at the screen. Meredith had adopted the typical selfie-pose for her profile picture. It was taken from above to make her face look as skinny as possible and her lips were not exactly drawn into a smile, but more into what was meant to be a seductive sort of pout.
“How old is she?” Lou asked, figuring she could ask that sort of discerning question in the company she was in this evening.
“Thirty-six,” Robin said.
Lou scanned the face looking back at her some more. Clear brown eyes. A few freckles gathered around a small nose. Short hair mussed about to look perfectly imperfect.