“Kaiden?” Nova whispers sharply, looking up, her eyes glazed over. She grabs my hand tightly, almost making me wince.
“I’m not here to hurt her, Nova. I want to help,” he explains, unable to meet Nova’s eyes. He tilts his head up, looking at Annette. “Don’t be scared of me, Annette. I’m not my father.”
“I know,” she whispers, but she still looks hesitant.
“What happened in the kitchen?” Kaiden asks.
I wave him off, dismissing him. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does.”
“It really doesn’t,” I grit out, and he sighs, knowing he can’t force me to explain. I’m too emotionally drained to try.
“What are you doing here?” Nova asks, quickly piling the diaries up in the black crate. I notice her movements are sluggish and begin to help.
“Ivy has the recording.”
The sound of a diary dropping into the crate echoes around the room. Slowly, she turns to us, eyes wide. “I thought Royce had the recording?”
I shake my head, reaching for her hand. “He does, but I must have saved it to my computer. We’ve sent it to you and a few others, for safe keeping,” I tell her, glancing at Kaiden. “It was Kaiden’s idea.”
“Why do I feel funny?” Nova asks suddenly.
Annette smiles gently. “I’ve given you a sleeping pill. You’ve had a stressful morning and need to rest. You’ve not slept in weeks, Nova.”
“Annette,” Nova grits out.
“I wouldn’t have done it if you had just gone back to bed.”
“Let’s get you to bed,” I tell her, but she clings to the box.
“We have to protect it all. We have to. I won’t let him hurt you again. I never got to have kids, Ivy. I couldn’t. But I have you, my niece, and he’s not going to hurt you like he did your mum.”
Kaiden steps forward, bending down and tucking an arm under her legs and another around her back. “No one is going to touch her, Nova. I promise.”
“You know where her room is?” Annette asks, finishing clearing the diaries away.
“Yeah,” he rasps, not looking at me.
Drowsy, she drops her head onto his shoulder. “It should have been me. Cara was a gentle soul, a loving person. It should have been me. She should have grown up in this house, raised her children here, raised Ivy. Not me. I’m alone. And Ivy hates me.”
“I don’t hate you,” I whisper as he carries her out of the room, but she doesn’t hear me.
“She knows,” Annette says, startling me. “It’s weighed on her a lot over the years—wanting to find and help Cara. She wanted to know you, love you.”
“My mum didn’t allow anyone she couldn’t manipulate or profit from into our lives. She might not have been a prostitute, and yes, she slept with a lot of men, but she never asked for payment. It didn’t stop her from taking what she could from them, but sex was never exchanged for it. Anyone else, she ran from. She stayed away from men who would try to control her. She was never going to be well enough to accept her family back into her life. And can you blame her?”
Squeezing my hand, she shakes her head. “Not even a little. But I can blame her for letting those people into your life. I’m going to check on Nova.”
I need to get out of here, to do something. If I had my skateboard, I would go out and relieve my stress on that, but it broke not long before Mum died. My only other outlet was to read or draw, and neither of those feel the least bit enticing. I need concentration to do that, and right now, my mind is overflowing with thoughts.
I could go see Elle and Ed.
“Wait,” I call out as Annette reaches the door. “Could you call Kingsley Academy and explain there was a family emergency and that I’ll be back tomorrow, please? I can’t go back today, and the principle has it out for me.”
Her eyes soften. “Of course.”
“And let me know when Nova wakes up. I’m going to go out and get some fresh air, but I want to know she’s okay. We need to send that recording to the team of police you allocated as well as PC Sullivan.”
“Don’t worry about Nova. She’ll be fine. I’ll watch over her and call you as soon as she’s awake.”
“Thank you.”
Needing air and out of this house, I head for the front door, ignoring Kaiden, who’s on his way down the main stairs.
“Ivy,” he calls out.
Without looking back, I keep walking, breathing in the fresh air as a light breeze fans my face. It won’t be long until the sun reaches its peak and makes the heat unbearable.
“Stop!” he orders sharply.
“I need to get away from here, Kaiden. Don’t bother trying to stop me,” I warn him.
I nearly collide with him when he steps in front of me. “Go get changed.”
“Again with the orders?” I mutter dryly.
His lips twitch. “Okay, think of it as a request. I mean, you don’t want to go anywhere in your uniform, do you?”
He’s right, I think sourly as I glance down at my attire. There’s no way I’ll be able to get on my bike with this skirt on, not unless I want to flash all of Cheshire Grove.
“Why are you still here?” I ask, somewhat harshly.
“I’m taking you somewhere.”
Suspicion leaks into my veins. “And why would I go anywhere with you?”
“Because you’re angry, because you need an outlet. I know what that’s like—to want to lash out at everything and everyone around you, even though they aren’t the issue.”
Lip curling, I take a step back. “I’ve seen your form of release, and unlike you, I’m not into beating someone to a pulp. And if you’re talking about sex, you’re barking up the wrong tree.”
His grin is wide, mischievous. “As hot as it would be to see you wrestling with another chick, that’s not where I’m going with this. And neither is fucking you—though that would certainly relieve some of your tension.” He runs his fingers through his hair, sighing when I don’t move. “I’m not going to take you somewhere to kill you. I’m going to take you to a place my mum took me to let off steam when I was younger.”
I’m not going to lie and say I’m not curious—deep inside, I do want to know more about him, more about his upbringing—but going with him is a bad idea, and not just because of who his dad is, but because of how my body still reacts to him. He must read the indecision on my face, because he growls. “I’m not going to hurt you, Ivy. I know saying sorry won’t make up for all the shit I’ve done. You have no idea how badly I’m kicking myself for mistreating you to begin with. Nothing can make up for that, but let me help you.”
“And what do you get out of it?” I muse.
“I just want to help you,” he explains, but I don’t believe him. This could be a trick so I owe him a favour. “Just get dressed. What have you got to lose?”
He’s right. I look back at the house, biting my bottom lip worriedly. His expression is blank when I turn back, but the need to let go of some of this anger is compelling.
“You touch me, don’t think for a second I won’t rip your dick off and shove it up your arse. And no, it won’t be enjoyable.”
I can’t stop the grin that spreads across my face once my back is turned, his slight flinch filling with me glee.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KAIDEN
The twenty-minute drive feels like thirty because of Ivy’s constant silence. She isn’t giving me an inch, knowing I’ll take it and beg for more. I’m selfish when it comes to her. I’m not going to give up though. I want her to open up.
“When do you get your cast off?”
“Four weeks.”
Blunt. Curt. Crisp. Like all of her answers since we left the manor. I sigh, gripping the steering wheel harder as we near the factory.
Her phone beeps with another message, but I don’t take my eyes off the road long enough to see her expression. Jealously is an emotion I’m not accustomed to, but I do feel it. I want to know who she’s talking to; is
it a male, an old friend, a new friend?
Instead of asking—because I know she won’t tell me, anyway—I force my gaze to stay ahead.
“We’re here,” I announce, a bite to my tone. I sigh, closing my eyes briefly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”
She puts her phone back in her bag, her gaze on me. I can feel the heat of her stare burning the side of my face. “Don’t change who you are, Kaiden. I never wanted that. I still don’t. How can I know if you’re being fake or real if you apologise and bottle shit up?”
I switch the car off, turning to face her. “I don’t want to push you away.”
Her expression softens a little at that, but it’s gone before I can blink. “I’m not made of glass, Kaiden. I’ve handled a lot more. Honesty won’t break me. I get you want to make it up to me, and I know I’ve said this before, but I don’t think I can go back to how things were, like shit hasn’t happened between us or around us.”
“They did happen. I’m not asking you to pretend they didn’t. What I’m asking is that you give me another chance. Give me a chance to show you the real me. I need you, Ivy. I don’t know how or when I needed you happened, but it did. You’ve been under my skin from the moment I met you. I like you in my life, in my bed.”
“No, you liked the sex; the fact I’m a different flavour to all the other girls you fuck.”
Frustrated, I grip the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white. “I’m not being big-headed when I say this, but I can get a new flavour in my bed any time I want. I’ve had variety, but none have been you. Never you.” I take in a deep breath to compose myself. I don’t want to scare her away. “Have you even asked yourself why I’m trying? Do I come across as someone who begs, who chases after girls?”
“No,” she whispers, hesitant as she looks away.
“No, I’m not. I’ve never done any of those things, Ivy. You need to understand, and understand quick, that this isn’t about having someone in my bed. This is about you, you in my life. I don’t just want you, I need you.”
With a tired sigh, she reaches for the door. “Can we just do whatever this is? I can’t talk about this, not right now.”
Knowing that’s the best I’m going to get right now, I nod, letting her leave. I follow behind, locking the car before making my way up to the factory entrance.
“What is this place?”
A smile reaches my lips when memories of the first time I came here, surface. “When I first came here, Mum had not long come back from her spa vacation. Dad had been hard on the twins and me the entire time she was gone, and he decided to get drunk at a work’s party the day before she returned. He came home with one of the many women he had an affair with. The twins were bummed because he missed their tennis tournament and were acting out. I knew they were upset but didn’t want anyone to see, so they tried to hide it. I had it out with him when he rolled in drunk, the woman hanging off his arm. We went to blows, things were said and done, and I was angry. Angry at how he treated the twins,” I explain, running a hand through my hair. It’s hard to talk about emotions—I’m not that kind of guy—but she needs to understand. “Mum came back and I told her everything, even about the woman. She didn’t seem fazed, but she was worried about me. She could tell I was angry. She told me to get my shoes on, that we were going somewhere. I was just glad I was spending time with her.”
“Here?”
I grin at the dubious way she says it and pull her through the door. I step up to the guy at the counter, handing him the money. He nods, giving us a slip of paper stating our cubicle number and two sets of goggles. The second we step into the main building, Ivy gasps.
“What on earth?” she murmurs, looking up and down at the row of cubicles where the sound of ceramic smashing gets louder.
I thought the same thing when I walked in and heard the sound. It was deafening.
“She wanted me to get rid of my anger in the safest way possible. She handed me a plate and told me to throw,” I explain, stepping into a cubicle and handing her a plate.
She holds it, looking at the wall ahead of us. “People really do this?”
I chuckle at her expression. “Yes. There’s hatchet throwing on the other side. Give it a go. It’s therapeutic.”
“I don’t know,” she whispers.
Taking a pair of the goggles, I pull them over her head before leaning in close. “You’ve been fucked over too many times. By your mum, your dad, everyone. You were run off the road,” I tell her, inwardly smirking when I see her face flush with anger.
“Fuck you, Kai.”
“Any time, love.” I wink, giving her a smirk. “But you enjoy being fucked, don’t you?”
She turns and lets the plate fly, watching as it smashes against the wall. Breathing deeply, and without being compelled, she takes another plate and throws it.
Stepping up behind her, I lean close to her ear, whispering. “Come on, Ivy, let out that anger. Think of all the people that have hurt you; what they did, what they’ve said.”
“Fuck you, Kai,” she growls louder, throwing the plate with so much force, I have to step back.
The sound of ceramic smashing echoes along the walls of the factory, but in this cubicle, it’s louder, angrier. But she needs to get it out, set it free.
“Fuck all of you who thought you could hurt me,” she screams, and I step back, leaning against the bench, watching in pure fascination as she throws another plate. “I’m not a toy, a game you play with and throw away when you get bored. I’m a person.” She keeps throwing, heading to the second pile. I watch when she turns, noticing the sweat beading on her temples and across her chest. I stand straighter, ready to go to her.
“Ivy?” I call out softly, but she doesn’t hear me as she swings out her arm, throwing the plate harder than all the others.
“I hate that you couldn’t get your shit together, I hate that you weren’t like other mums, and I hate that I wasn’t enough for you to sort your life out and learn to love again.”
My heart clenches at the sound of misery and hopelessness in her voice. She’s never let go like this. When I brought her here, I thought she’d get angry about my dad, but she’s still angry at her mum.
And I don’t know how to help with that. This is beyond what I thought was brewing inside of her.
“Ivy!” I call out again, this time harsher.
She pauses, dropping the plate on the floor as she gasps for breath. Her hands fall limply to her sides. I step forward, reaching for her, but she takes a step back.
“I can’t keep doing this.”
“Doing what?” I ask, my gut clenching.
“Pretending this isn’t bothering me,” she explains, lifting her head to meet my gaze. “I hate that I need to be strong all the time. I hate that I was dealt this life. I watched my mum go through men like a hot knife through butter, using her body to get what she wanted. I saw things no child should ever see. Those parts of my life were unfair, cruel, but I got through it.”
“Ivy,” I say gently, but she shakes her head, still refusing my comfort.
“When I reached an age where I understood what I was seeing, I was disgusted with her, disgusted with the men. I kept telling myself it wouldn’t always be like this, that she’d stop or change. It didn’t. And as I got older, the worse it got. Knowing it wouldn’t be long before I was old enough to leave, I stayed quiet, telling myself after I finished school, I’d leave the day I turned eighteen. I promised myself I’d get out of that environment the second my birthday came around, and I was going to stick to it. Even when one of her boyfriends taunted me, telling me he wanted to keep it in the family, that I’d enjoy him being in my bed, I stayed. I stayed because I had nowhere to go. No one to care. No one to love me. She didn’t get mad over the fact he was getting in my bed uninvited, she got mad because he wasn’t paying attention to her. She heard him promise he’d buy me some shoes and a pretty dress if I let him sleep in my bed. Then she died, and I hate
d her even more. I felt nothing. Just a sense of relief and numbness. Then Nova,” she says before taking a deep breath.
“What about Nova?” I ask, wanting her to keep talking to me.
She shrugs, looking around the area like she’s coming out of her daze. “It doesn’t matter.”
“What were you going to say?” I prod.
“I didn’t want to like her. She looked so much like my mum. I didn’t even trust her. I mean, who offers someone money to go live with them until they get an education?”
I shrug. “She loves you.” And she does. Ivy has just made it hard for Nova to show her.
“There are times when I think she does, but then something happens and it makes me wonder if I can trust her or not. Life back home was crap. Mum owed drug dealers money, which is what she was doing the day she died. I guess she thought she had a way to get herself out of that situation, but she didn’t. She ended up dead. Nova was my second chance, a chance at life, and look where I am now, look where Nova is. She’s breaking, and I didn’t think anything could break her.”
“Everyone has their kryptonite.”
“I guess,” she murmurs.
My phone rings from my pocket and I pull it out, ready to silence the call. When I see it’s my brothers, I answer. “Yeah?”
“Bro, you need to come to the roof of the rec room. Grant’s drunk and on the ledge.”
“On my way,” I tell him, ending the call. I close my eyes, wishing I didn’t have to leave her. “We need to go. Grant is…” I trail off, not wanting to share his business.
Ivy’s eyes narrow into slits. “Grant’s what? I swear, if you start this riddle shit up again, I’m done with you for good.”
I scrub a hand down my face. I did tell her there would be no more skirting around subjects she wanted answers to. “He’s drunk and on the ledge above the rec room.”
Her eyes go round. “Go then. I can get back. I want to read Mum’s diaries, anyway.”
“It will be quicker for you to come with me. I can drop you off as soon as I’ve sorted it out.”
Crowd of Lies (Kingsley Academy Book 2) Page 10