“This was...unexpected,” I said, pressing my fingers to my tingling lips.
My brain still hadn’t caught up with those last few minutes. Had that been the most perfect kiss or was I just too amped up to know for sure? No, there was no question. That had been utterly perfect in every way.
“Yeah,” he whispered with a chuckle. “I’m sorry. I’m guess I’m just not very good at following plans.”
I wanted to laugh with him — to just sit here and enjoy the feeling of Mason touching me, wanting me, but something inside me snapped like a rubber band at his words. What started as a strange twinge of nerves soon hit me like a kick to the gut.
Plans. The plan! We’d been following a plan and this wasn’t it. I pulled away and scrambled back, putting as much space between us as possible as realization hit me.
The plan had always been to get Mason back with Polly. He needed her, especially now. What was I doing? I’d gone way past off-roading. I’d lost the path, crashed the car, and stranded myself in the wilderness. And the only person who was going to pay for that was him.
Kissing Mason had been a huge mistake.
“What’s wrong?” Mason’s eyes widened in surprise as I had my mini panic attack on the other side of the swing. He reached for me, but I waved him away. “What did I say?”
“You’re right. This isn’t part of the plan.” I hated the slight tremble in my voice, the first hint of tears thickening my throat. “This was a mistake. We never should’ve done this.”
Mason grunted and white-knuckled the back of the bench. “Trina, I was just joking about the plan. Nothing has ever felt so right. That kiss—” He cleared his throat. “That kiss was incredible. Tell me if I’m wrong. Tell me if I’m crazy, but that was the best kiss of my life.”
No matter how hard I tried to make my tongue work, to tell Mason he was totally off base, I just couldn’t. There was no way I could lie to him. That had been an amazing kiss. The fact that he agreed only made this harder. So I sat there silently, with pain coursing through my body.
Frustration flickered in his eyes. He inched forward, just close enough to keep from touching me. “Trina, forget the plan. Do what you want, for once.”
Frustration flared to life inside of me. I hopped up from bench and made a straight line for the door to Savannah’s home. Mason could shrug off the plan as if it meant nothing, but he didn’t know what it meant to me. I’d been following a plan my entire life. It was the thing that had allowed me to get an early acceptance to Northwestern. To make my parents proud. To fulfill every hope they had for me. It was the plan that was going to allow me to finally go to art camp this summer. And most importantly of all, it was that plan that was going to get him through this tough time.
How could he not see that? How could he fight fate?
“Trina, wait!” Mason called.
I ignored him and slid open the back door. People were still dancing on the sofas and the living room floor. A few couples had cozied up in the recliners, while others dotted the dark corners of the house. Savannah danced barefoot on the breakfast bar, a red Solo cup in her hands. She shimmied to the music as the baseball players cheered her on.
I raced past them and pushed through the crowd, searching for my friends. Someone needed to be the voice of reason here. They knew what I’d scraped and planned for my entire life. If I had them as backup, Mason would understand why this couldn’t happen. Why this had been a mistake. He’d realize I was right. He’d know why we couldn’t be together. I pulled out my phone and sent out a group text, hoping desperately that they all had their phones on them.
Trina: This night’s been awful. Have to leave. So sorry, guys.
Within ten seconds, two replies came through.
Mandy: What’s wrong? Where r u?
Audrey: I’m coming. Whatever’s wrong, we’ll fix it with some Casey’s breakfast pizza and chocolate.
Relief washed over me. My friends always had my back. At least I didn’t have to be alone tonight.
“Trina, please. Talk to me.” A hand closed gently around my wrist, pulling me to a halt. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
The sound of Mason’s hurt and stilted voice nearly undid me. This was the opposite of everything that I wanted.
“Project Happiness,” I said, feeling too exhausted to run anymore. I turned to face him, my shoulders drooping. “You’re supposed to be with Polly, remember?”
“Seriously, Trina?” A crazed laugh escaped his lips. He released my wrist and ran both his hands through his hair, leaving it mussed in an incredibly sexy sort of way. I had a hard time even looking at him. My body still buzzed with need.
“You’re meant for each other.” I didn’t mean to sound so broken when I said it. The pain just poured out of me. “You’ll make each other happy.”
His eyes glittered with unsaid emotion as he took a step toward me. “And what about you? Don’t I make you happy?”
I wished in that moment that I could’ve broken out a famous Trina smile and made everything better, but I couldn’t. He was tearing my heart into pieces. Couldn’t he see what this was doing to me? Of course, he made me happy. I loved every single minute I spent with him, whether that was doing homework, welding, or even dinosaur hunting in the mall.
“It doesn’t matter, Mason.” I hugged my torso and looked down at the floor, wishing I had the ability to shrink into a tiny version of myself and run away. “It’s not part of the plan.”
“Screw your project. Screw the plan. Just let it go. Let me be with you.”
I blinked up at him in surprise. There was so much feeling in his voice. Every muscle in his body seemed taut, as if waiting to catch a rebound from my words. His eyes glittered as they searched my face. It felt like the volume in the room was getting higher and the oxygen had turned off. My lungs burned, begging for air.
“I can’t. I won’t.” I scrunched my face to keep from crying.
Pain wracked his face. He leaned down slightly, his teeth bared. “Is it because of the stuff you found out at the hospital today? Is that why you don’t want to be with me?”
My jaw dropped open. Of course that wasn’t it. How could he even say such a thing?
“Trina Frye!”
I closed my eyes against the sound of my name. Savannah was yelling it across the room as if the house were on fire and she needed to warn me.
“Trina Frye, I have to talk to you!”
Not now. I didn’t need to be reminded about the sculpture right now. Not with Mason looking at me like that, like I’d plucked his heart from his chest and stomped on it.
“What happened in the hospital has nothing to do with it,” I said, grabbing his arm as the decibel of my voice went up. He needed to know the truth, if only to wipe that hurt expression off his face. “I don’t care if you have cancer, Mason. You’ll fight through it. I just know it. But it’s not me that you need right now.”
It occurred to me just a few seconds too late that the music in the room had suddenly stopped. I spun to see Savannah standing in front of the sound system, her finger on the power button and her expectant gaze trained on me.
Panic began to seep into my gut. Did I just announce Mason’s illness to the world? What had I done?
“Dude, cancer?” A freshman on the basketball team hit Mason on the shoulder. “Is that for real?”
A few people nearby mumbled with similar curiosity. The air around us changed suddenly, feeling heavy with the weight of gossip. The look in Mason’s eyes as I met his gaze absolutely sunk me. Betrayal mixed with pain almost too much to bear flashed there. I bit my tongue so hard that I tasted blood. What was wrong with me? Why did everything I touch lately crumble to dust?
“I’ve got to go,” Mason grumbled, looking around at the small crowd that had gathered around us. He shot me one last disappointed frown and turned for the door, his hands deep in his hoodie pocket.
I watched him go, realizing too late that I was still wearing his coat. The scent of his
cologne lingered in the air. It was a painful reminder of just how much I’d screwed up. And when Mandy and Audrey finally found me hiding in the foyer of the house, I let my tears loose.
No more holding back.
Chapter Eighteen
“Everyone says he’s dying. He’s so strong. I don’t think I would come to school if I only had days left to live.”
I had to bite back a response as the sophomore girl gossiping about Mason with her friends strolled past me in the cafeteria line. This had officially been the worst day ever. News about Mason’s possible cancer scare had spread faster than wildfire. Everyone was talking about it. It was all my fault. If I’d just kept my big mouth closed, no one would have known.
But as my mom often said, there was no putting the toothpaste back once you squeezed the tube.
I set my lunch tray across from Mandy and Audrey and fell wearily into my seat. They exchanged worried glances as I pushed my puny salad around with my fork. My friends had been there to pick up the pieces Saturday night after the party. They knew how bad this had gotten, but they still didn’t judge me. It was good to know my besties were always there for me.
Even when I’d screwed everything up.
Audrey cleared her throat. “Hey, T. You seen the insta-feed yet this morning?”
I groaned and grabbed my phone from my pocket. “No, what’s the damage?”
“Just the usual,” Mandy said, flashing me her phone screen. “Rock Valley Biz has officially dropped the news on Mason’s cancer scare. They’re telling everyone to come to the big game on Friday to support him in what could be his very last.”
Of course, the nameless face behind our school’s gossip source wasn’t helping the situation. It seemed like things couldn’t get worse.
“Have you guys seen him yet?” I asked, abandoning my salad for a chocolate chip cookie. If there was ever a need for baked goods, it was now. “Did he come to school today?”
The entire day I’d kept an eye out for Mason, but had no luck. All I wanted to do was talk to him. Try to put things right as best I could. And most of all, apologize. If nothing else, I could tell him how truly sorry I was for breaking his trust. It might not give us back our friendship that I so desperately missed, but I owed him that much.
“I’m not sure if he showed up for first period,” Mandy said, slowly unwrapping a protein bar. She was watching me carefully, as if she were afraid I’d break down into tears again at any moment. “Maybe he took a sick day?”
Or maybe he was just avoiding this whole terrible situation. I couldn’t blame him. What had he said in the hospital? That he didn’t like telling people because then they got all weird around him? That’s exactly what had happened. No one was talking about how he was going to slaughter Silver Lake on the court this Friday. Instead, they were obsessed with talking about his illness and taking bets on when he was going to croak.
“Look, why don’t you just text him and ask to meet?” Audrey asked. She fixed me with her big brown eyes, a sympathetic frown on her mouth. “When Collin pulled out of school to go live with his dad, it helped to talk face-to-face. Maybe then you can make Mason understand why you can’t be together.”
“Yeah, and then maybe you can explain it to me,” Mandy added with a shrug. “Because honestly, I still don’t know what’s stopping you two from riding off into the sunset.”
I buried my head in my hands. Even if I wanted to, even if Polly wasn’t in the picture, that ship had sailed long ago. If there had been any chance for us to be together, it had been brutally murdered by my big mouth. Why, oh why couldn’t I keep it shut?
The noise in the cafeteria hit a sudden and noticeable lull, causing me to jerk my head up. It seemed like half of the student body was staring at the doors. My gaze zoomed over to see Mason standing between the doorframes, a teal plastic tray in his hands. His face was guarded, his jaw tense. He hesitated, his gaze sweeping over the crowd, until it settled on me. I held up my hand in a small wave. Maybe, just maybe, Mason didn’t completely hate me.
But the sight of him turning on his heel, ditching the tray, and swiftly exiting the way he’d come squashed that hope. The noise level in the room returned to a loud buzz as tables around us put their heads together to discuss Mason’s illness.
“This is my chance,” I said, biting my lower lip. “I’ve got to talk to him.”
“Good luck,” Mandy and Audrey said in unison.
“And let us know how it goes,” Audrey added.
I picked up my tray and said a hasty goodbye to my friends, following the way he’d gone. It didn’t take long to catch up with him this time. He stood not far from the door, muttering and gesturing to himself. I slowed my pace, not wanting to ambush him.
He looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. The creases around his eyes were deep and his shoulders stooped. My heart ached, wishing I could run over and wrap my arms around him and make everything better.
Just a few days ago we’d been working on the statue together and joking about the latest Charlie’s Angels reboot. Why didn’t time have a rewind button? What I wouldn’t give to be back in that shop class again, the welding torch flaring, and hearing Mason’s amused laughter as I did my best super spy pose.
“What do you want, Trina?”
Mason had spotted me and was standing with his hands curled into fists at his sides. I had echoes in my head of the first time we’d spoken at the hospital, after Charley’s dare to go up to him. Had we returned full circle to being strangers again?
“I’m so sorry for all of this.” The words tumbled out of my mouth. I pressed the palms of my hands against my stomach, fighting against the nauseating sensation that had sprung up. “I really didn’t mean to spill your secret to the whole world.”
“Well, you did.” He leaned against the white-washed cement block wall, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling. “You know, if you didn’t want to be with me, you could’ve just said so. You didn’t have to drop a bomb like that.”
I flinched. He was trying to be all casual, but I could hear the pain in his voice. That was me. I’d done that to him.
“Mason, I’m sorry.”
“I thought that kiss meant something.” He rolled his head to look at me, his eyes flashing. “And maybe I’m an idiot, but I thought you felt the same way.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. How could I tell him that in that moment, our kiss had meant everything to me? But with all the stuff standing between us, it could never happen again.
I’d promised my parents that I would ace this class. It was the only way I’d get to go to art camp this summer. To pursue my passion for a change. It was my last chance before I spent the next decade in school and residency.
And when I’d taken Mason on as my study subject for my project, I’d essentially pledged an oath not to get involved with him. Maybe another kid could’ve shrugged that off and lied to the panel of judges, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t in my nature.
Finally, there was the issue of Polly. Beautiful, perfect Polly who’d been in his life for far longer than me. She knew what it was like to battle cancer. She could relate to him in a way that I never could.
“Mason, I just want you to be happy.” I grasped the front of my blouse and grimaced. “That’s all I want.”
He snorted and pushed off the wall. “I am happy. I’m ecstatic.”
His sarcastic tone stung. And as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, a rumble of footsteps inside the cafeteria was a warning sign that we were about to get some more company. Mason slid his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and began to walk away backwards, sending me one last pained expression.
“Don’t worry about me, Frye. I’ll be just fine. But maybe you should think about focusing on your own happiness, for once.”
The image of him walking away hurt more than I could’ve ever prepared myself for. The nausea in my belly flared up, threatening to evacuate that chocolate chip cookie.<
br />
So much for a happy ending.
Chapter Nineteen
Mom pulled her suburban up along the sidewalk and rolled to a stop. I looked out at the masses of students walking across the lawn toward Rock Valley High’s doors as Tuesday morning classes began. It was the first time in my seventeen years of life that I could ever remember dreading going to school. Normally, I was chomping at the bit to get out there. Today my behind was glued to Mom’s leather seats.
“Darling, I love your enthusiasm, but did you really need a poster this massive for your presentation?” Mom turned in her seat to gaze at the trifold poster board I’d stashed in the back of her suburban.
My little Chevy had been too puny to haul this thing around. On it was my Research Methods project. The presentation was three days away and I had yet to input the final data. What was I supposed to say? That I’d caused my research subject unnecessary harm and embarrassment? That in fact, a relationship of any sort with Trina Frye was the opposite of happiness? I couldn’t bring myself to finish it.
“Sorry, Mom,” I said, unbuckling my seatbelt. “You know me. Overachiever.”
She grinned and softly pinched my arm. “Yes, and I adore that about you. It’s what’s going to make you succeed in medical school.”
I stifled a sigh and slid out of the car. It was getting harder and harder to smile at my parents’ talk about the future. With everything going wrong lately, I wasn’t sure if I could count on the plan anymore. What if I didn’t even get into medical school? What if I wasn’t good enough? Would my parents still love me even if I wasn’t the uber over-achiever they thought they knew?
All of these questions terrified me.
I lugged the poster board out of the back and waved goodbye to my mom as she set off to the hospital for an early morning laparoscopic cholecystectomy. She was always in a wonderful mood on days like today. Surgery kept her sane. I liked to think that it was sort of her version of art and the scalpel was the brush.
Dare You to Date the Point Guard (Rock Valley High Book 2) Page 13