“But you love your vision board,” Audrey said with a pout.
I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. “It did nothing but cause me trouble this year.”
“But without it, you wouldn’t have discovered what an awesome guy Mason is.” Mandy plopped herself down onto my bed. “Or do you regret that?”
I leaned against the desk, my mind whizzing through the last few weeks. My vision board might have caused me trouble, but I’d never regret getting to know Mason on such a personal level. We were opposite in so many ways. On the outside, he was kind of rough, sarcastic, and always brooding. If I hadn’t pushed through that layer, I wouldn’t have known how sweet and charming he could be. Or how much I enjoyed talking with him.
And most of all — how much I would miss him when he was gone.
“I don’t regret it,” I said, giving them a sad smile. “I could never regret meeting him. He’s a great guy.”
Audrey grimaced and buzzed her lips. “Are you sure...that you’re not in love with him?”
I scrunched up my face. What was it with people accusing me of being in love all of a sudden? “You know, Savannah pretty much asked me the same thing the other day?”
“Savannah?” Mandy’s look of disgust nearly made me burst out laughing. Her loathing for Audrey’s cousin was kind of legendary. “What does she know about any of this?”
I hid a giggle behind my hand. “She compared Mason to candy and told me that he was just extra weight.”
“Pssh.” Mandy waved off the thought. “Savannah hasn’t had a relationship last longer than a season of Riverdale. She’s the last person you want to take advice from. Personally, I think you’re head over heels for the guy, but you won’t admit it because you’re too nice.”
Her comments made me bristle. I sat up in my chair and glared at her. “I’m not too nice!”
“Really?” She clicked her tongue and stared wide-eyed at me in a challenge. “Then tell me that you hated kissing him.”
I pressed my lips into a thin line and remained silent. Of course, I didn’t hate kissing him, but that wasn’t the point.
“And now tell me that you hated those weeks you spent together in class. That all that time you spent together shopping, or cheering him on at games, or working on your welding project were complete and utter torture.”
I had half a mind to snatch the notebook from the top of my desk and chuck it at her. But I couldn’t make myself pick it up.
“And finally...” She sat up on the edge of the bed and squinted at me until her eyes were nearly pinpricks. “Tell me that if everything were different — if there were no class projects, or parental expectations, or ex-girlfriends in the way, that you would never, ever in a million years, be with Mason Finnick.”
A hot flush worked its way up my neck. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Mandy knew I couldn’t lie. And as much as I tried to answer her, to tell her that everything she’d said was right, my conscience wouldn’t let me. She had me pinned to the wall like a poor, helpless butterfly.
“She’s not saying anything,” Audrey said with a humorous twinkle in her eyes.
“You know I have to say, for the first time in my entire life, that Savannah was right about one thing.” Mandy cocked her head to one side and sucked in her cheeks. “T, you have definitely fallen hard for Rock Valley High’s star point guard. There’s no denying it. You’re sunk. It’s spelled L-O-V-E, baby, and you’ve got it bad.”
I gulped, feeling the weight of her statement. It was one thing for Savannah to say it, but to hear it from my best friends was dizzying. Could they have a point? Had I fought against the idea of going off plan for so long that I’d actually been lying to myself?
When it came down to the truth, I thought about Mason constantly. He was unlike any guy I’d ever met before. He made me feel strong and courageous. When I wasn’t around him, I longed to hear his laugh or witness one of his rare and beautiful smiles. The fiery way he looked at me nearly drove me out of my skin. And the thought of his hands on mine made me shiver with delicious feelings.
Could I really have fallen for him?
My heart was pumping out a beat like a techno song. I pressed a hand to my chest and stared at Audrey, a million questions bouncing around my skull. “What does falling in love feel like?”
She sighed and threw her head back. “Like you’ve just downed an entire can of carbonated pop and your stomach is full of bubbles. You can’t stop thinking about him. Everything reminds you of him. You find yourself smiling at random times of the day because his name popped up in your head. And when you’re apart, your greatest desire is just to be with him again.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Audrey had just painted an accurate picture of me, right down to the fizzy feeling in my stomach. There was no more denying it. I had fallen for Mason. Wonderful, sweet, and brooding Mason.
“See? I told you.” Mandy elbowed Audrey. “She’s as pink as a strawberry. That’s love.”
“I think I’ll have to write a song about this,” Audrey said, nibbling on her guitar pick. “It’s going to be an epic love song.”
I’d never been in love before now. Love in the movies was always such a larger-than-life thing. People sacrificed themselves for it, danced on rooftops to celebrate it, and went to the ends of the Earth to reclaim it. It was something I’d always longed to experience, but had never had the luck to find — until now.
Giddy feelings overcame me. I grinned like a Cheshire cat as Audrey strummed a few chords and mumbled out some lyric ideas. But the longer I listened, the more my heart felt a stabbing pain. Okay, yes, I’d fallen for Mason Finnick, but that didn’t mean I could do anything about it. I mean, he had Polly. I’d seen them getting back together. There was no room left for me in his life.
I’d had my chance for love on that porch swing and I’d crushed it beneath the heel of my favorite Sketchers. This wasn’t a happy ending. This was a tragic tale of a silly girl who’d had everything within reach and then blown it to smithereens.
“Better change that song into an epic ballad of loss,” I said, standing up to smooth out the wrinkles on my skirt. It was the only thing I could do to keep the trembling out of my voice. “It’s never going to happen. I lost my chance. He’s with Polly now.”
“Is he?” Mandy narrowed her eyes at me. “Is he really?”
“Yes, he is. I saw it myself.”
I could feel the simmering irritation in her stare. She was the protector of our friend group. The one who muscled through situations to protect her besties, and I loved her for it. But this was just not one of those times she could win.
Audrey shook her brown curls. “I’m not so sure about that. Ethan Richards has been lurking around after practice the last few days. I think he wants to win her back.”
I walked carefully to my closet and yanked off my heels. It was nice of my friends to help me finally name this emotion that had been driving me crazy, but I wasn’t about to let them give me false hope. There was a reason I tried to be so cheerful all the time. I didn’t handle disappointment well. Not even as a small child. It ate away at my heart like an invisible leech, draining me of my lifeblood. No, I couldn’t allow even the tiniest crack in my armor. That would’ve been the end of me.
“No way. Mason and Polly were made for each other. They met at cancer camp three years ago and helped each other through some rough times. Then, the universe brought them together again when Mason transferred to Rock Valley High. Ethan can’t compete with that.”
Neither could I, for that matter.
“You’ve got to at least tell him.” Audrey laid her guitar down and blinked sadly up at me. “You owe that to yourself. Don’t give up until you know how he feels. What have you got to lose?”
The fact that Mason had pretty much transferred out of class to get away from me made it clear what he felt for me, and it wasn’t love. I’d had my chance at the party and I’d blown it. Big time. There was no way I could mak
e that up to him.
“I love you guys, but you know that I can’t,” I said, shrugging off my jacket. “I already hurt him once. I can’t do that to him again. He’s got fate and Polly on his side. I’ve got nothing.”
Turning to look in the mirror, I studied my reflection once again. Did being in love make me look any different? Maybe, a little older. A little wiser. And definitely a little sadder.
Mason had once called me naive. He was right. I’d looked for the potential in everyone else around me and never once thought about the potential inside my own soul for love. And when I’d found it and finally named it for what it was, it had been too late.
How could I face him tomorrow?
Chapter Twenty-Two
The library had never been so flipping terrifying. Usually, with its quiet corners, the unmistakable perfume of old books, and soft carpet, it was a haven to a book worm like me.
But not today.
Today, it was a battlefield, featuring a long rectangular table with thick black linens and a pleated table skirt. Three chairs sat on one side of it, facing both me and the library desk where my poster board had been carefully displayed. Mandy and Audrey’s encouraging words ran through my head: I was Wonder Woman, facing down my foes. I had the lasso of truth and awesome super powers at my side. No one could defeat me, especially three teachers from dinky Rock Valley High. I was going to crush this presentation — at least, according to my friends currently occupying the handful of chairs to the side and throwing me dorky thumbs-up signs.
Pretty sure Wonder Woman didn’t feel like puking before she took down the bad guys.
“Two minutes until show-time, people,” Mr. Arnold called.
I fidgeted in my too-tight heels and shuffled through the notecards in my hands. My panel of judges had just arrived. Mr. Arnold, as our class supervisor, was obviously on deck. Next to him stood a tall woman with broad shoulders and a short, blonde hairstyle. That had to be Professor Garret from the local community college. She was the one who ran our online class and lectures.
And finally, I’d asked Mrs. Drew to be my third judge. Art and Research Methods might have seemed like worlds apart, but over the last few weeks I’d learned that there were a lot of similarities. There was an integrity in art and science that couldn’t be replaced. And they both could be so methodical. Mrs. Drew beamed at me as she came waltzing into the library in her black jumper suit and matching booties. I waved at her and then quickly went back to pretend-studying my notes.
The only person missing was Mason. The cards in my hands trembled as I thought about coming face-to-face with him once again. Would things be different now that I’d finally named these feelings I had for him? Now that I knew we would never be together?
No, I wouldn’t let them. I’d get through this presentation, just like I’d get through the heartache ahead of me. Chin up and jaw set. Eyes forward, tears dried.
Mandy had coached me for an hour last night after we finalized my outfit. If I was going to get through this, I needed to borrow her take-no-prisoners attitude. I could do this.
“Is this the right room?”
“Definitely. There’s Trina, now.”
I blinked up in confusion as my parents walked into the room, all proud smiles and waves. Why were they here? Panic shot through me like a crack spiderwebbing across a panel of glass. As if this wasn’t hard enough, now I had to keep it together for them, too?
This was beginning to feel like a bad sitcom. Who next? How about my Nanna Laurie, or the mailman, or my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Wetzel? I was honestly surprised my parents had been able to get time out of their busy day to show up.
“Hi, guys.” My greeting came out all airy and breathless. “What are you doing here?”
“Don’t worry about us, bug,” Dad said, rushing forward to give me a hug and quick peck on the cheek. “We’re going to sit in the back. You won’t even know we’re here.”
“We just had to see you nail this presentation.” Mom grinned and clenched her fist for emphasis. “Before you know it, you’ll be doing this at Northwestern. We couldn’t be prouder of you.”
No pressure at all. “Thanks, guys.”
“Forwarding the field of science is one of the noblest undertakings a person can take,” Dad said with a solemn nod. You would’ve thought he was sending me off to Mars on a spaceship, he looked so serious. “Science not only necessitates guts and brains, it requires a depth of character and ethics that few possess. You, my daughter, have just that.”
I laughed nervously and then chewed on my bottom lip until it hurt. Character and ethics. Those were two words that carried a lot of weight. We’d studied ethics in Research Methods. I’d always prided myself on following the rules. That was me. Trina never-broken-a-rule-in-her-life Frye.
Until now.
My throat thickened as I thought about how much things had changed. I’d broken the biggest rule of all when it came to Mason. I’d fallen for my research subject. If Mom and Dad knew, they wouldn’t be praising me like this. I didn’t deserve it. And hiding it from them felt like yet another ugly lie. I couldn’t keep this up. They had to know the truth.
“Wait, you guys. You don’t understand—”
“You’re going to do great, darling.” Mom hugged me and then quickly let go. “Don’t overthink it. Just do your best and then we’ll take you out to eat tonight as a celebration. Anywhere you want to go.”
I tried to protest, but she moved swiftly away to take the seat next to Audrey and Mandy. Dad gave me a wink and then sat on Mom’s other side. I was left standing in the middle of the room with my mouth hanging open and an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
That feeling was only made worse two seconds later by the sudden appearance of Mason when he strolled into the room with a basketball in his hands, looking as cool and calm as I’d ever seen him. I thought I’d be able to keep it together, but my heart stuttered and my knees threatened to give out at the very sight of him.
He wore a pair of dark gray dress pants and a vivid blue dress shirt that made his eyes pop. His hair was perfectly tousled, his face freshly shaven, and his shoes shiny. There was the frown that I’d grown used to — and preferred, now.
A shiver ran through me as his gaze flicked over to meet mine. There were dark clouds in his eyes, tumbling together like the beginning of a storm. My breathing grew shallow, my hands clammy.
I wanted to say something — anything — but my tongue wouldn’t work. Mason always seemed to have that effect on me. Instead, I stared at him like the world’s biggest doofus. With a slight nod of his head, he broke away his gaze and watched the floor until he took the last empty chair in the back.
There was the man I’d fallen for.
What was this stabbing feeling in my chest? Was it my heart, ripping in two?
So much for being Wonder Woman.
“Miss Frye, are you ready to begin?”
I blinked up at Mr. Arnold and tried to nod, but my thoughts were still swirling. I was way past the beginning of this story. We were already at the end — the end where my heart bled out onto the library carpet, forever staining it with the consequences of falling in love a little too late.
“You’ve got this, Trina,” my mom said softly, leaning forward to grasp the top of her knees.
Her small bit of encouragement snapped me back to reality. Oh yeah, I was here to give my presentation. Not regret every bad decision I’d made in my short life. Get it together, Trina.
“This is Project Happiness,” I announced with a weak smile. “The World Happiness Report tells us that Americans are unhappier than ever. We’re nineteenth on the global rankings and dropping fast. So what’s wrong? Why can’t we just be happy?”
An uneasy feeling took root in my gut as I jumped into my presentation. The whole thing should’ve been so easy. I’d rehearsed my talking points about a hundred times by now. But the deeper I got into my notes, the bigger the pit in my stomach grew. I couldn’t escape Mason’s ey
es. He was watching me with his brows pinched together, his lips twisted into a pained frown.
I wished I could smooth out his forehead and run my fingers through his hair once again. How I would’ve loved to feel him loosen up beneath my hands — like he had on that porch swing.
Just before I took his heart and stomped on it.
The more I glanced over at him, the guiltier I felt. I’d walked into this room with no intention of telling Mason how I felt. How could I? It had seemed so selfish. He was with Polly now. I didn’t want to interfere. And yet, keeping it from him was starting to feel worse.
It was yet another lie.
And then there was the nagging situation with my research project. Mom and Dad were watching me with shining eyes as if I were the next Madame Curie. They’d put their trust in me to do what was right. To conduct myself at a level above the rest. I’d failed them, and they didn’t have a clue.
The weight of these lies was going to split me in half. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck, soaking into my blouse. My hands shook. The room was starting to spin a bit, so I leaned on the table for support. I could tell Mandy and Audrey knew something was up. They were leaning toward each other and whispering, shooting me occasional concerned looks. But they couldn’t save me.
I was a runaway train, headed for a collision. If I didn’t get out of here soon, there were going to be some casualties. So I sped into the conclusion of my presentation, eager to end this whole thing.
“And that’s why relationships that are nourished and encouraged are so vitally important to the young adult,” I said, feeling a shudder of relief at hitting my last line. Made it.
My body could’ve collapsed to the floor at that moment, but Professor Garret raised a hand. I nodded at her and tried my best to smile. When would this ever end?
“Yes?”
“Very impressive, Miss Frye,” she said in a light and airy voice I recognized from my online lectures. “I have to say, this presentation went above and beyond anything I’d expect from a high school student.”
Dare You to Date the Point Guard (Rock Valley High Book 2) Page 15