by Rose Verde
“You couldn’t handle that with the ranch work.” She set the laptop on the center table and faced him. “How long is Sam working with you?”
“Less than months.”
“That short?’
He grimaced. “My fault. I told her I had to see changes within that period for her to stay on. We haven’t talked about it again.”
“So, you have less than four weeks and you didn’t think to talk things over with her? Suppose she finds something else while still thinking you want four months?”
“I’ll talk to her.” He rose. “I better hit the sac.”
She followed him into the kitchen. Chance filled a cup from the tap and downed it.
“You want my opinion on this?”
He shrugged, looking at her through wary eyes. “You’ll say it either way.”
“Sam may be the breath of fresh air you need. You’ve handled so much on your own. Let her take care of Andy’s homeschooling so you can concentrate on work.”
The kiss from earlier flashed. Yes, given the opportunity, he’d kiss her again and again. But didn’t she say she planned to move? She’d put things on hold for Andy and now he knew why, he was grateful. But, he couldn’t ask her to stay if she didn’t plan to. Was her ex the reason she planned to relocate? He didn’t know. What if she didn’t want life on the ranch? He’d seen her clout. Working for him was one, opening her heart to him was another. And he knew he couldn’t resist the freedom, the peace she offered.
“You’ve gone all quiet on me.”
A heavy sigh escaped him. “I’ll talk to her.”
“How about you invite her for dinner tomorrow?”
He held her gaze. “I know that look. What’s your plan? I don’t need any matchmaking.”
“Who said anything about matchmaking?”
“You didn’t have to say. She’ll be here anyways.”
“Yeah, but usually she’d be gone by the time we’re ready to eat. Dinner’s six o’clock prompt and I expect you to be home by then.” She winked at him and was gone.
Bossy as ever. Sleep would be a long time in coming. Especially when thoughts of his evening out with Sam took residence in his thoughts. Better to go check on the few heifers left to calve.
Chance came up on one of them. She obviously looked ready to calf. She lay on the ground on one end of the maternity pen. The front feet had already emerged. Chance didn’t envisage any problems with a correct presentation, but with first time mothers, one may never know. He had access to the shed and chute, should he require it. The last few weeks had been smooth sailing for them, but he knew first hand with previous calving seasons, how a normal delivery could easily change.
He squatted a little distance away and watched the animal. He wasn’t sure how long she’d been that way. Hopefully, still within the two hour window for first timers. Where was Marvin anyway? This was his shift.
The heifer bore down and the legs advanced more. He went to the kitchenette and grabbed a towel, then a tag and went back out.
“Trouble?” David, the new addition of ranch hand for the calving season asked, as he walked into the enclosure.
“I don’t think so. I’ll need to assess the situation in a bit. For now, I’d wager she’s progressing as expected.”
As though on cue, the next contraction, the head followed.
“I think she’s going good,” David said.
“I think so too.”
‘Now things are winding down, you don’t have to keep night watches anymore.”
“From experience, this is when the fatigue sets in and people sleep past their shift. I wasn’t sleeping anyways.”
David looked at him.
“What?” Chance asked.
The young man shrugged, a small smile on his lips. The heifer bore down and the calf was expelled. The new mom turned and began to lick the calf. It just laid there and didn’t move, like it was exhausted. Chance sprung into action. Had she been laboring for long?
“Get me a tag,” Chance told him, drying the calf quickly, “It’s weak. I’ll need to bottle feed.” David walked to the makeshift kitchenette to prepare the bottle.
“Looks like it’s been a while since someone checked. I’ll find Marvin. This is supposed to be his shift.”
“Don’t worry about Marvin. I guess the past weeks have taken a toll. Every one of you has been hard at work.” The gentle pressure from the drying seemed to stimulate the calf. It wriggled, protesting the disturbance. Chance chuckled.
David came back out, squatted and held the bottle to Chance who accepted it. He held it to the calf and thankfully, it accepted the bottle. Minutes passed in silence. “I think he’s had enough,” Chance applied a tag on the calf and between them they moved it with the new mother to another warm empty stall. She went back to work licking her baby.
“Our work is done. Do you mind doing a quick check? We’ll see in the morning.” Chance picked a bucket and walked to the bore hole to wash.
“I can do that, boss.”
Chance duffed an imaginary hat and walked away. Arriving back home, he tried to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake up anyone. But when he laid down a few minutes later, the potluck played on his mind and quick in its wake was Sam’s lovely face lit with surprise. He was falling for his son’s teacher, but he feared the abuse she suffered at the hands of her ex would be a hurdle to overcome.
Chapter Fifteen
Sam was working with Andy and his cousins to dye the Easter eggs for the egg hunt. Funny, Easter had passed over a month ago, yet Sierra’s kids wanted it. Sam decided to plan other fun activities for the kids too. Things her aunt had done with her kids, Sam and her brother to make their Easter fun. It was good to see their happy faces.
“It’d be fun if you’re here,” Sierra’s adorable daughter said.
“It’s supposed to be family time. Don’t worry. You’ll have fun without me.”
“I’ll go ask dad. I’m sure he will want you to come.” Andy admired the egg he’d dyed blue.
“Uncle Chance’s gone back to the ranch yard,” Nate said.
She smiled as the kids talked about her coming on Sunday. They were two weeks down to the end of her stay, and he hadn’t said anything. If she got called for her interview, she might be out. No point hanging around.
“I’ll go ask my mom.” Charis jumped off from the kitchen stool and whipped out of the place. Sam was amazed at how she’d bonded with the children within days. A longing seized her. Like it’d been doing for a while now.
“She definitely can come,” Sam heard Sierra tell her daughter before they cleared the door. She looked at the display of colored hard boiled eggs. “Wow, this looks yummy.”
“Not for eating yet,” Andy said while finishing up an egg.
“You have like, how many dozens here?” Sierra reached for one and her son moved it out of the way.
“No swiping,” he said with a huge smile.
“I guess we should be prepared for a lot of farting over the next few days.” They all laughed at Sierra’s words. She then turned to Sam. “You should come. You’ve been hard at work preparing for their treasure hunts. Unless you have plans.”
“My parents will be arriving, but I can come for later.”
“I bet you might want to spend the day with them, so don’t feel pressured to come.”
“They won’t miss me.” Sam smiled to temper her words. These days they hardly had anything to say to each other.
The sound of boots stamping on the porch filtered in. The door soon opened and Sam’s pulse kicked up speed.
Chance entered, and his smile encompassed everyone. “Are you done with your treasures?”
“Yes,” the children chorused.
“Sam, time to go hide them.”
“I’ll just put them in here.”
The kids helped and they had all the different treasures and gifts put into two baskets. “We’ll be back in a bit,” Sam told them.
Chance grabbed the baskets and they hea
ded out. “You’re great with kids, Sam. Even Sierra thinks so.”
“Thanks.” She smiled. “How’s work?”
“Down on the last week of calving. Everything’s been great so far.”
They got to the storage barn where he had hay and feed stored.
“Kelvin did a good job here putting the equipment away so we should be fine.”
She nodded. Chance narrowed his gaze and looked at her. “How come I get this feeling you’re acting all strange?”
“I’m not.”
He held her gaze a moment more. “If you say so.” He looked around again. “Where do we hide these?”
“Randomly. They know we’ll be hiding them here, so loft, tack room, anywhere.” She went in the direction of the tack room. “I have something here for them as well. Whoever finds what gets it.”
“When did you buy stuff?”
“Yesterday.” He set the baskets down and followed her into the tack room. She retrieved the bag containing pencil cases and monogrammed bags. “I took the liberty to put their initials on them. Thankfully, they all have one colour for the boys and one for Charis. They can always exchange whatever they find.”
Chance took the first bag and looked at it, then the second and third. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“I know. I wanted to. I had fun picking out the bags and getting the lady to put their initials on.”
Chance put the bag down and took her hand. “I’ve yet to meet an amazing person like you, Sam. And it’s got nothing to do with these gifts.” He pulled her close and she swallowed and was going to step out of his hold. “Sam?” he called and waited till she looked up.
“I like you a lot and I hope you like me enough to give us a chance.”
“Uh... that may not be a very good idea.” Her voice sounded breathless in her ears as his thumb caressed the back of her hand, causing all kinds of feelings to stir, rise to a crescendo and crash in the face of reality.
“Why not?”
“Chance, you know already.”
“Because of your scars?”
She flushed and nodded faintly, wishing the ground would open and bury them. Instead of responding, he tugged her closer and then his hand went to her waist. She flinched. “Hey, relax.”
She tried. Really hard. But shame washed over her as he traced the edge of her scar.
“I ... feel the scar. And judging by your reaction, I know they are as bad as they feel.” He reached to her back and traced the one right there.
Tears welled in her eyes and spilled past her closed lids. Her body shook.
Chance tilted her chin. “Look at me, Sam. Please.”
Sam opened her eyes.
“You see your scars but I see a beautiful you inside and out.”
“You would think differently if you saw them,” she whispered. The sight of her body disgusted her too.
“You think I care about perfection? It’s nothing without a sweet sensitive spirit.” He thumbed her tears away. “That’s what’s important. Please, give me a chance to show you I care.”
Could she do that? He said all the right words, but were words enough? Todd gave her words, and failed on every single one of them. “I’m still in therapy. I’m,” she wet her lips. “Still working through things.”
“I imagine you will be, and that’s fine. No pressures, okay? Just know I’ll be here waiting if you decide to take this leap with me. I’m human and not perfect, but one thing I promise is that I won’t hurt you on purpose.”
She was falling for Chance, but fear held her back. She wasn’t sure she could go this route again. For lack of words, she rose on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his.
Chance cupped her neck and kissed her back, slow and deliberately. Warmth enveloped her and she felt cherished. She shut down the chirping of her insecurities, the thought that she was taking a plunge too quickly. When the kiss ended, he rested his forehead on hers, his arms wrapped around her. His heart pounded against the palm of her hands in rhythm to hers. God, I’m keeping an open heart here. If this is right, then, please, let this work. I’m afraid of being hurt again.
“What are you thinking about?”
She smiled up at him. “Nothing.”
“I don’t think so.”
She wriggled out of his hold and he let her go, laughing. “I think I know you more than you know yourself, Sam.”
She ducked. “We got something to do.”
“No, you’re running like you always do when you’re afraid to speak your mind.”
She didn’t answer. He was right and she needed to stop running.
LATER THAT NIGHT, SAM sat in her room, pondering what to do next. Her parents had come in earlier than planned, and now they were asking questions. She wasn’t ready to answer those.
A slight knock came at her bedroom door, breaking into her reverie. She forced a smile which felt more like a grimace. “Mom. Do you need anything? Have you settled in?”
The woman walked in like she was stepping into forbidden territory. “Can we talk?”
“I don’t know, Mom.”
“I spoke with Jean.” she spread out her hands, like she wanted to make Sam understand. “Don’t run away from talking.”
Sam shot up from her bed like some cannonball. Her mother spoke to her sister and finally figured it was time to talk. Sam had always wondered if Aunt Jean had ever talked to her mom about what had been going on with her.“I’m not running, Mom. What’s there to say?”
“That you are divorced and we didn’t know about it.”
Sam’s eyes stung. “And it’s my fault?”
“Now, don’t take that tone with me, young lady.”
Sam shook her head and closed her eyes. It'd always been this way. Her mom goes around the world, has fun, comes back and acts like she deserves to be treated with respect. “Maybe if you stuck around in the life of your only surviving child, for once, maybe you will know that she’d been divorced. When my brother passed away, how long did you stay before your feet grew itchy again?”
Her mom opened her mouth to speak, but Sam stopped her. “I’m not done yet.” Sam’s body shook with anger and she couldn’t hold herself. “Do you know the beatings Todd gave me? Did you know all the things I lost? Your grandchild, me. I came so close to losing my sanity.” Tears tracked down Sam’s face. Her mom rose from the bed, her eyes grief stricken. When she wanted to touch Sam, she stepped away from her reach. “Beyond telling you I divorced him, did she tell you everything else in between?”
“Oh, baby...” her mother’s voice was small, strangled.
“I guess not. So you don’t come in here and demand answers when you know nothing.” She watched her mother for a moment. She wasn’t looking for the woman’s pity. But she needed her to see how lovely her life had really been.
Sam slipped her t-shirt over her head and raised her arm to show the scar on her side, then turned around so she saw the one on her back.
“Did he do that to you?”
Sam turned and put her shirt back on. She nodded, her tears spent.
Her mom collapsed on the floor. “I’m so sorry.”
Sam wished apologies fixed everything—the baby she would never hold in her arms, the life and time she’d wasted loving the... After all she’d been through, she hurt too deep, and she feared it would stay that way. She feared her experience had marked her for life. And she worried, that no matter how much she wanted to have another chance at love, she couldn’t give herself wholly to anyone.
She never let herself dwell on her doubts of Chance because she was trying to trust again. She desperately needed healing, but she didn’t seem to hear God anymore. She didn’t doubt He was there, just not sure what He was doing. Did He not promise to not give her something beyond her to bear?
As she thought of all those things, and thought about her brokenness, watching her mom cry, a fresh wave of tears came tracking down her cheeks. She thought they were spent. Sam leaned against the wall and just let the t
ears flow.
Her phone rang. She contemplated letting it go on without answering, but taking the call meant she could excuse herself and leave her mom’s presence. She straightened and went to the bed and took the phone. Chance? Was there a problem? The call ended and started again. “Excuse me, Mom.”
She swiped the screen and walked out of the room. “Chance?” she asked as she went out on the balcony. Her father most likely was in the guest room.
“Hey, did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No, is everyone okay?”
“Yes. I was just thinking of you. I thought I’d check on you.”
“That’s so thoughtful of you.”
“I’d say I’m a thoughtful guy,” he said, chuckling.
Sam couldn’t find the strength to laugh at his joke. She dropped in the wicker chair and swallowed a sigh.
“Are you okay?”
“My parents came unannounced. They were not due in until tomorrow.”
He was quiet for a second. “I know you’re not close to them. But did you have a fight already?”
Sam shook her head. “Mom was digging around at what happened between Todd and I.” she closed her eyes and massaged her forehead. “I’m a mess.”
“No, you’re not.”
He didn’t understand. “I’m upset at Todd for what he’d done to me. I’m upset at my mom for having a good life and then walking in and demanding answers...” The tears were starting again. “I’m sorry...”
“Hey, no need to apologize. You wanna talk? I felt strongly in my spirit to call you and I’m glad I did.”
“If anything, you gave me an escape,” she said laughing amid her tears.
“How so?”
“I didn’t want to walk out on my mom. Your call gave me the excuse I needed to.”
“Oh, boy,” he chuckled. “I hope she never finds out it was me.”
Sam laughed, her sadness dissipating. She quieted after a moment. “I didn’t know how much I resented my parents until they walked through my door today. Other times, they stayed at a hotel and I just went to see them. I really wanted to turn them away tonight. I just couldn’t.”
“Because you love them.”