by Helen Harper
‘Well,’ I murmured, ‘it’s good that we have you on hand to keep us all on the straight and narrow then.’
He chuckled. ‘Indeed.’ Then his expression sobered up. ‘How are things with you really, Saffron? You’re spending a lot of time with the Devil’s Advocate. If he’s bothering you, I’m sure I could find a rule that would help your situation.’
‘Actually, he’s alright.’ At Billy’s disbelieving look, I laughed. ‘Honest. In fact, it’s far better spending time with him than staying here. I get that everyone is on edge because of the kidnappings but you could cut the atmosphere in this office with a knife.’
Billy’s mouth downturned further. ‘It’s been like that here for a long time. The kidnappings are the icing on the proverbial cake.’
I chewed on my lip. ‘Those godmothers who went missing – Lydia, Boris, Alistair, Edwina and Jane?’
‘What about them?’
I picked up a pen and began twirling it in my fingers. ‘Were they feeling the pressure too?’
He sighed. ‘And then some. Jane burst into tears on the morning she vanished when she spilt a cup of tea all over keyboard and got bawled out by Adeline. I caught Alistair actually sleeping here so that he didn’t have to worry about the time he lost commuting. They were all under a great deal of stress.’ He waved a hand around and I noted several heads quickly duck behind their cubicles to avoid Billy’s notice. ‘Everyone’s under a great deal of stress.’
I squinted at him. ‘Don’t you think your stickler for the rules attitude adds to that stress?’
‘Actually,’ he said, ‘for a while it was quite the opposite. I was the perfect stress release. Most offices need a scapegoat. You know, someone to despise and vent about. Sometimes complaining about others can be a useful pressure valve. Grumbling about a shared enemy can bring a place together. Of course, that shared enemy used to be me. Now it’s you.’
I grimaced. ‘Gee. Thanks.’
He shrugged. ‘Think of yourself as providing a valuable service to others. If their unhappiness is focused on you then they’re not thinking about how utterly shite everything else about their job is.’
The pen in my fingers snapped in half. I cursed and threw it onto the desk. One half of it rolled off and landed onto the floor with a soft plop. ‘This is supposed to be the best job a faery can have.’
‘I know,’ he said sadly. ‘It sucks, doesn’t it?’ He patted me on the shoulder. ‘If there’s anything I can do to help you, let me know.’
I nodded and watched him wander off. Then I bent over to pick up the fallen half of the pen. It was just out of reach. I scowled and stretched my hand out further, finally managing to scoop it up. I tossed it in the wastepaper basket and started to straighten up. As I did, however, something caught my eye. No wonder the chair I’d purloined was a bit wonky. There was something stuck in one of the wheels.
Frowning, I hunkered down further and used the tips of my fingers to try and yank it out. I tugged at it but, when that didn’t work, I grabbed a pair of scissors instead and poked at the thing. With enough frantic jabbing, I managed to free it. I picked it up and held it up to the light. It was little twist of brown paper. My stomach tightened. I opened it up to see if there was anything written on it, or if there was anything clinging to the paper itself. It was clean. I could still hear my blood roaring in my ears, however. Unfortunately, that sound was quickly replaced by the panicked murmur of my colleagues around me.
I hastily pulled myself up to my feet. Both the Director and Adeline were striding out of their respective offices. Their faces were pale and grim. I looked round the rest of the room. Figgy was clutching Rupert’s arm. Angela, and the other HR faeries, were staring out from the doorway that separated them from the rest of us. Even Alicia looked worried, one bejeweled hand wrapped around her own throat. What did they all know that I didn’t?
I spotted Delilah over by the kitchenette and quickly walked over to join her. She looked as unsettled as everyone else. ‘What’s going on?’ I asked.
‘Miranda called up from downstairs,’ she whispered. ‘There’s another delivery.’
The blood drained from my face. ‘You mean…’
Delilah nodded. ‘I think so.’
Just then the lift dinged and the doors slid open. The mutterings immediately silenced and a grim hush descended across the office as we all waited to see what happened next.
Mrs Jardine was there, holding a package in her outstretched hands as if it were some kind of bomb. An unhappy looking delivery faery was standing next to her. He might have been wearing the same sort of Spandex as the last guy but he was considerably older.
‘All I did was pick it up,’ he said. ‘You can’t pin this on me.’
Nobody paid him any attention. Everyone was wholly focused on the package. It looked to be almost the same as the one which had transported Lydia’s ear although it was slightly thinner and longer.
The Director, who for the first time looked genuinely upset, reached out and took the box. She turned to take it to her office. I realised she wasn’t going to open it here. She was prepared to leave the rest of us in the dark, wondering just what gruesomeness the package contained. For a few moments everyone watched her go. Then I felt my feet propelling me forwards.
‘No.’ My voice rang out, bouncing around the room and rather louder than I’d intended.
The Director stopped moving, her head snapping in my direction.
I’d started so I’d finish. ‘If that’s what we think it is,’ I said, my voice trembling ever so slightly, ‘then we have the right to see it too. This affects all of us.’
Adeline stiffened. ‘You’ve been here for three days, Saffron. This hardly affects you.’
I raised up my chin. The last thing I’d ever intended to be was a trouble-maker. They had to see that hiding away whatever grim delivery had been made would only make matters worse for everyone though. The trouble that hours of morbid speculation would create would be far worse than the truth. ‘It feels like it’s been a lot longer than three days,’ I said. ‘And it does affect me. You made sure of that.’ I gave both Adeline and the Director heavy, pointed looks designed to tell them that I knew exactly what my role here was supposed to be.
Adeline looked guilty. The Director actually looked annoyed.
‘We all work here,’ I reiterated. ‘We all should see what’s in that box.’
‘That’s not for you to decide,’ the Director said. Her brows were drawn together and she was paler than before. I understood the anxious stress she was under. She wasn’t the only one feeling that way though.
When another voice spoke up to support me, I almost fell backwards in shock. ‘She is right,’ Alicia said. She glanced across the office at me and, while her gaze was not warm, I recognised a flicker of kindred spirit in her eyes. ‘You can’t keep us in the dark over this.’
‘You almost had a breakdown the last time,’ Adeline muttered.
‘Only from the shock,’ Alicia returned. ‘Whatever is in that box could belong to one of our friends. We should see what it is.’
Delilah moved up towards me and reached out, grasping my hand in hers and squeezing it so tightly she almost cut off all the circulation to my fingers. ‘I don’t need to see what it’s in that box,’ she whispered to me. She was unable to drag her eyes away from it. ‘But I want to know what it is.’
‘You don’t have to look,’ I said, trying to reassure her.
‘What if it’s a heart?’ she shuddered. ‘A heart would fit inside that box.’ Her hand squeezed mine even more and I let out a pained gasp. ‘What if it’s two hearts? What if it’s five hearts?’
‘Delilah,’ I said in a strained voice, ‘please let go of my hand.’
She didn’t seem to hear me.
‘How many of you feel like Alicia and …’ the Director turned to me, ‘Saffron?’
Slowly, bit by bit, hands went up all over the room. Thankfully, Delilah let go of me and also put her h
and up. The Director pursed her lips and I thought I detected a flicker of sadness on her face. ‘Very well,’ she said. She shifted the package to one hand and used her other to open it up. She stared at the contents. Several of us shuffled towards her to get a quick look. I hoped I wasn’t going to regret this. I craned my neck, catching a glimpse of the bloody contents before dropping back.
‘What is it?’ Delilah asked. ‘What’s in the box?’ She had her hand over her eyes but she was peeking out from under her fingers.
‘It’s not a heart,’ I said. ‘And it’s good news.’
Delilah’s hand dropped. ‘Really?’ she asked hopefully. ‘It’s not body parts?’
I grimaced. ‘It is body parts. But unless the kidnapper has been keeping five faery corpses in a freezer then I think he’s telling us that his captives are all still alive. He’s sent us fingers. There are ten little fingers in the box.’
‘Little…’ Her hand moved to cover her mouth while she gasped.
‘Pinkies,’ I said grimly. ‘Ten pinkies.’
In the far corner of the room, someone began to retch noisily. The Director shot me a look as to ask if I was happy now. I swallowed.
‘Get this to the Devil’s Advocate,’ she said aloud. She closed the box and passed it back to the delivery faery, who tried to shrink away from the task but faltered under the weight of her gaze. ‘Saffron Sawyer,’ she called. ‘My office. Now.’
Fuck a puck. Somehow I didn’t think I was about to get a commendation for speaking up. I squared my shoulders. It was okay though; I was in the right and she’d be able to see that. She was an intelligent faery. I nodded to myself. I could do this.
***
‘Don’t bother sitting down,’ the Director said, taking her own chair behind her massive mahogany desk. ‘This won’t take long.’
I drew in a breath and moved to the centre of the room to face her properly. I didn’t drop my head though. I wasn’t cowed. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong. I’d take my lumps and then I’d get myself back out there.
‘The Devil’s Advocate has been in touch,’ she said to me. ‘He has informed me that his investigations have uncovered the fact that the missing godmothers were not abducted while working for this office. Their kidnappings occurred outwith their jobs.’
My mouth felt inexplicably dry. ‘Yes.’
She sniffed. ‘Clearly you are now aware of the real reason why you were employed. It was not because we thought your skills as a dope faery would enhance our office. It was because we thought you might help us uncover the kidnapper and draw him out.’
‘I was bait,’ I said flatly. ‘You put my life in danger and didn’t tell me.’
She drummed her fingers irritably on her desk. ‘Your life was never in danger. You had a team of faeries following you at all times. I would never allow any of my faeries to be put in danger.’
I pointed towards the door. The box might have left with the delivery faery but its existence still sat ominously between us, making the atmosphere in the room even heavier. ‘I rather think you have had evidence of that which is entirely to the contrary.’
Her expression hardened. ‘Do not get clever with me.’ She glared. ‘You might have believed that getting close to the Devil’s Advocate and spending time with him would insulate you. I can assure you that this is still my office no matter what he or you may think.’
‘I don’t think that…’ I began.
‘On reflection,’ she interrupted, ‘this is not the right place for you. We no longer require the ruse of your presence and it’s obvious that you are not fitting in. It is time for you to return to your previous employment. It’s far more suitable for you.’
Oh no. ‘That’s not true,’ I protested. ‘I’m making inroads here. I’ve started to get along with some of my colleagues. I’ve made headway with my clients.’
The Director raised a single manicured eyebrow. ‘Adeline informed me that you granted your first client a wish.’ She paused for dramatic effect. ‘You gave him a cup of coffee.’
‘That was a mistake! I’m correcting it! I’ve found out that he’s looking for his father who abandoned him when …’
‘Ms Sawyer,’ the Director said, ‘nobody cares. And as for your colleagues, you manipulated Rupert into taking you into the Adventus room, did you not?’
‘I … er …’ I shuffled my feet.
‘Didn’t you do that?’
‘I did,’ I said, ‘but I had very good reasons for it.’
‘It was not your place to go there,’ she said coldly. ‘Access is restricted to the Adventus room for good reason.’
‘But,’ I said, still seemingly unable to prevent myself from digging a massive hole from which there would be no escape, ‘shouldn’t we all spend more time in there? If we can learn from previous wishes and from the deeds of faery godmothers in time gone past, then won’t we become better ourselves?’
‘The Adventus room is not for the likes of you!’
Jeez. ‘Fine,’ I muttered. ‘It won’t happen again.’
She didn’t blink. ‘I know. Now, give me your wand and your ID and clear out your things.’
‘I think I’m onto something with the kidnapper,’ I said quickly. ‘I found something in my chair and …’
‘Your wand and your identification.’ She held out her palm.
My head was beginning to throb, a pulsating pain from behind my eyes. No tears threatened, however. I was too stunned for anything like that. ‘I’m sorry I spoke up out there,’ I said. ‘I wasn’t trying to cause trouble. I made a mistake. It’s just that everyone is stressed and there’s nothing like the fear of the unknown to make people feel even worse. I knew what was in that box would be gruesome but you have to see that our imaginations were capable of conjuring up far worse than what was really in there.’
The Director’s expression didn’t change. Her hand remained outstretched. I stared at it. I hadn’t messed up that badly. Had I? Moving stiffly, I walked up to her desk, drawing out my wand and unhooking my lanyard from around my neck. I dropped both into her hand.
‘Thank you,’ the Director said. ‘I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours.’ She dropped her head and began to read the papers which were in front of her.
For a moment I remained where I was, staring at her as she pretended to do some work. I couldn’t stay forever though. Eventually I turned on my heel and left.
***
Adeline was waiting outside the Director’s office. She took one look at my face and her expression dropped. ‘I’ll escort you to your desk,’ she said. ‘You can collect your things before leaving.’
I looked at her. ‘You know this isn’t fair, right?’
‘We’re all under a lot of pressure,’ she said stiffly. ‘The Director is no exception.’
‘That’s not my fault.’
Her response was quiet. ‘I know.’
I half snorted. ‘That might be the kindest thing you’ve said to me.’ I brushed her off. ‘I can collect my things on my own,’ I said. ‘I don’t need a damn escort.’
The office itself was as quiet now as it had been when the box had arrived. Every single pair of eyes watched my walk of shame. I held my head up high all the way to my desk. Delilah stared at me as I reached for my bag and began to scoop up the few things that were personal to me.
‘Have you actually been sacked?’ she breathed.
‘It would appear that way.’ I stuffed my mug into the top of my bag and tried to zip it up. The zip jammed and I cursed, trying to unsnag it. Eventually I gave up and left it as it was.
Angela appeared from HR, unable to conceal her glee. ‘I’ll have all the relevant paperwork sent to your home,’ she said. ‘We don’t want you hanging around here for longer than is necessary.’
‘Heavens forbid,’ I muttered. I pushed past her, shouldering my bag and heading directly for the lift. Billy was already there. ‘Here to wave me off?’ I asked.
He frowned at me,
clearly unhappy. Welcome to the club. ‘I wasn’t expecting that to happen,’ he said. ‘The Director isn’t usually so petty. She’s under a lot of …’
‘Pressure,’ I said for him. ‘I keep hearing so much about that. It’s beginning to sound a lot like a poor excuse.’ The bitterness in my tone landed between us like acid.
‘I’ll try and speak to her on your behalf,’ he said. ‘There are rules about this sort of thing.’
‘I was on probation,’ I told him. ‘Anything goes.’ I forced a smile that wouldn’t have fooled a blind person. ‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.’ I turned and looked round at the office, my gaze meeting that of Alicia’s. Her mouth tightened momentarily then she gave a shrug to indicate that she didn’t care. I raised my voice. ‘It’s the people who are staying here who have to worry.’
Billy winced. ‘Saffron…’
‘Nice knowing you,’ I told him. The lift opened and I stepped in. He said something else but I didn’t quite catch it. The doors closed and, finally, I was on my own. When I reached the ground floor, I was expecting Mrs Jardine to be there to add further useless homilies. It appeared, however, that she’d made herself scarce. I shrugged to myself and pretended I didn’t care about any of this. I didn’t want to be a stupid faery godmother anyway.
Chapter Twenty-One
I’d barely gone fifty metres from the office when my phone began to ring. I ignored it. I didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. I stomped along the pavement, glaring at anyone who dared to veer even slightly into my path. I’d been fired for virtually no reason whatsoever. Those damn faery godmothers had set me up to fail from the outset. The Director hadn’t turfed me out because of what had happened with the box. I hadn’t been good enough to be one of them. I wasn’t from the right sort of faery family. I didn’t have the right sort of name. Then my anger gave way to doubt. Maybe I wasn’t as skilled as I’d thought I was. Maybe I’d been kidding myself all along that I could ever make a go of this.
I thought about calling my mother so I could pour out my woes to her. Yes, I was an adult. Yes, I still wanted my mum. She was away for the day with her friends though. I didn’t want to interrupt her fun with my tears. Harry would be working, his head filled with ways to improve his lot in the rainbow faery world. I couldn’t bother him with this either. I was, to all intents and purposes, on my own. I supposed I should check in with Jasper. Except I couldn’t face him. The thought of trudging home to sit alone on my sofa didn’t appeal very much either.