Wishful Thinking (How To Be The Best Damn Faery Godmother In The World (Or Die Trying) Book 1)

by Helen Harper

  ‘I don’t need therapy.’ Not for this, anyway.

  The Director regarded me for a moment. I set my chin. I refused to squirm. I forced my body to remain as still as possible and simply returned her gaze with what I hoped looked like calm confidence.

  ‘No,’ she said eventually. ‘I don’t think you do.’ She tapped her pen on her desk. ‘You’ve done well recently with your clients. I’ve been reading your reports and, while some of your methods are unorthodox, you do have a knack for getting to the heart of what they really want and granting the wishes that they truly desire. It takes some faery godmothers years to learn that.’ Her mouth tightened. ‘Some never learn it.’

  I sat up a little straighter. Go me. ‘Uh, thank you. I am trying to be the best faery godmother that I can be.’

  ‘Mm.’ She tapped her desk some more. ‘I trust that you are more … settled than before and that you have better working relationships with your colleagues?’

  ‘Things are better, yes,’ I said. Not great. But better.

  ‘And,’ she asked, ‘how do the others feel about the threat posed by the trolls? Are they as disturbed as you are?’

  Actually, I was of the opinion that most other faery godmothers were pretending the remaining trolls still didn’t exist. But that was the problem – it was how we got into this mess in the first place. Decades ago, a rogue faery godmother wish had inadvertently caused the death of the majority of trolls. The godmothers had covered it up and tried to forget about it. Unsurprisingly, the few surviving trolls weren’t impressed.

  ‘I can’t speak for the other faery godmothers.’

  ‘Yes, you can.’

  I sighed. Alright then. ‘I don’t think they are as concerned as they should be. Bernard died. Most faeries I’ve spoken to seem to think that’ll be the end of the matter.’

  ‘You disagree.’ It wasn’t a question.

  ‘I do,’ I said quietly. I meant it, though. This wasn’t the last we’d hear from the trolls. Bernard had martyred himself but he wasn’t the trolls’ leader. Plus, the other trolls would blame us for messing with their kind. No doubt they were plotting another bloody revenge at this very moment – and because of Bernard’s very explosive death, they had even more reason to hate us.

  The Director finally stopped tapping her pen and laid it down. ‘Unfortunately,’ she said, ‘I agree. I might not have spent much time as their captive – and I was unconscious for a great deal of it – but it is clear that their fervour is extreme. We must be on the offensive. Not the defensive.’

  Thank goodness she understood. She wasn’t so distracted by the audit that was starting the next day that she couldn’t see where the real problems for this office lay. Maybe now she’d do something about the trolls. For all that I’d used them as an excuse for my outburst, they did worry me. A lot.

  ‘That is why,’ the Director continued, ‘I’m going to create a special task force to locate the trolls and find out what they’re planning next.’

  I nodded vigorously. ‘That’s an excellent idea. Your proactive approach is genuinely admirable.’

  She gave me a long look. ‘It’s not your first week any more,’ she said. ‘Stop brown-nosing. I think we have the measure of each other. We don’t need that kind of game playing.’

  I blinked. ‘Okay,’ I hedged. ‘For what it’s worth, I do think a task force is a good idea.’

  ‘That’s just as well.’ She paused. ‘Because you will be the one to head it.’

  I stared at her. ‘Pardon?’

  She didn’t miss a beat. ‘You can choose who you want to help you, but no more than ten hours a week is to be spent on this matter. Numerous faery factions are already out looking for the trolls and, quite frankly, they are far more likely to succeed than you. However, I have no desire for others to think we are sitting on our hands.’ She raised her shoulders in a shrug. ‘And you did manage to find the trolls last time so it’s possible you might be equally successful on a second occasion.’

  I was being damned with faint praise; it didn’t sound like the Director had much faith in my abilities.

  ‘The trolls sent us this last week,’ she told me, passing over a piece of paper. ‘I suppose you should be aware of it.’

  ‘Wish list,’ I read aloud. I guessed at least one of the trolls had a sense of humour. ‘The Office of Faery Godmothers is to cease all operations immediately.’ Huh. It wasn’t much of a list.

  ‘Of course,’ the Director said, ‘that will never happen. There will be a war before this office ever closes down.’ She smiled grimly. ‘I’ll see to that.’ She wagged her finger at me. ‘Thanks to the trolls’ efforts, we are still behind with our targets for the month. Your human clients are not to be ignored because of this task force, Saffron. And I should add that you are only fact-finding. In the unlikely event that you find the trolls and uncover their plans, you are not to engage with them. There are plenty of other faeries who are better equipped for that. All you have to do is to try and find the bastards.’ She spat out the last word. It wasn’t hard to guess how the Director felt about the trolls.

  I squared my shoulders. ‘As we have the measure of each other, as you put it, are you doing this because you still want to get rid of me?’ I surprised myself by how relaxed I sounded. There was a faint flicker of approval in the Director’s steely gaze that emboldened me to carry on. ‘You clearly don’t think I’ll succeed. If I don’t find them, are you going to use my failure as a reason to sack me?’

  Her response was calm. ‘No. I meant what I said before: you do have some skills that are proving valuable.’ She tilted her head. ‘And although I honestly don’t expect results, I’m not setting you up to fail. I want the matter of these trolls resolved as much as you do. Without your efforts to bring Bernard to justice, things could have been far, far worse for us. You have a unique way of looking at matters which could be helpful.’

  I wasn’t sure whether to be grateful for this opportunity or to run screaming from the office while I still had the chance.

  ‘You can decline,’ the Director said. ‘It will not reflect badly on you if you do.’

  Except it would. And if I were the faery who stopped the trolls in their tracks, it would do wonders for my burgeoning career. I had more faith in my abilities than the Director did. It didn’t appear there was any choice for me to make.

  ‘I will do this,’ I said. ‘And I will try my best – although perhaps it would be better to wait until the audit is over.’

  ‘You will start tomorrow.’ She picked up her pen again, her signal that the meeting was over.

  Fine. I inclined my head. ‘As you wish.’ Then I crossed my fingers. I hoped I wasn’t making a massive mistake.

  Pre-order your copy of Wish List right here! It will be released on October 7th, 2019.

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  About the author

  After teaching English literature in the UK, Japan and Malaysia, Helen Harper left behind the world of education following the worldwide success of her Blood Destiny series of books. She is a professional member of the Alliance of Independent Authors and writes full time, thanking her lucky stars every day that's she lucky enough to do so!

  Helen has always been a book lover, devouring science fiction and fantasy tales when she was a child growing up in Scotland.

  She currently lives in Devon in the UK with far too many cats – not to mention the dragons, fairies, demons, wizards and vampires that seem to keep appearing from nowhere.