I wanted for some kind of horror or disgust to emanate from him or for him to give me a petty nickname like Bryn had, but… nothing. There was definitely a wave of surprise, some awe, then a fresh wave of concern.
He let out a whoosh of breath. “Shit Fi, who knows you’re an empath?”
“You, Bryn, and Gwyneira.” His face darkened and I felt his jealousy from him when I said Bryn which was weird. Marlen often felt insecure but I had never sensed jealousy from him before.
“You know Bryn collected me from Albion, right? And told me I was fae? I asked him about my abilities and he pieced together that I was an empath. Gwyneira made him swear not to tell anyone.” Marlen’s jealousy abated, and he sighed.
“Sorry, I don’t know why I was jealous of that. I know you and Bryn have a difficult relationship at the best of times,” he said with a sheepish smile.
“I should be embarrassed that you’ve been able to read my emotions this whole time, but honestly, I’ve never tried to hide any of them from you anyway. That moment of jealousy is maybe the only thing I am embarrassed about,” Marlen laughed. “I’m kind of excited you’ve been able to feel my lust this whole time,” he waggled his eyebrows at me, and I rolled my eyes playfully.
“Yes, I don’t doubt your level of attraction to me; don’t worry about that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Gwyneira emphasized how important it was to keep this information on the down-low…”
“I’m glad you didn’t tell me. It was smart of you to get to know me and assess whether or not I was worthy of your trust, Fi. Though I’m definitely freaking out a lot more about that message in your room now. I assumed it was Saffir or someone like her, someone jealous of your mating pull. This is so much worse. No wonder Bryn was freaking out.”
“I, um, haven’t told anyone about this, but there were two more messages…”
Digging around in my satchel, I found the notes and passed them over to Marlen. “They were both slipped under my door in this cabin, one a couple of days after the wardrobe message, the other just yesterday.” Marlen was unnaturally still even though his emotions were swirling like a whirlpool, too fast to accurately identify.
“Please tell me Gwyneira knows about this?” Marlen asked, staring at me intently. I chewed on my bottom lip and looked at my hands. “Fi? You told her, right?”
“I know it sounds crazy. I get she’s the dean, and a big part of me does trust her, but I don’t know… There are only two other people that know about my ability, and she’s one of them. What if the threats are coming from her? Or someone she told?”
He let out a low whistle. “I get it. I’m not sure I agree with you — Gwyneira is basically revered by the whole fae world — but it makes sense to play your cards close to your chest until you’re 100% sure who to trust. What about Bryn? Do you suspect him?”
I wrung my hands nervously in my lap. “I don’t want to suspect him. He’s always so furious around me since the moment I met him. He resents the strong pull between us. Maybe this is his way of getting me out of the way?”
“Maybe,” Marlen hedged, but he didn’t sound like he agreed with me.
He looked at me solemnly through his lashes. “Please promise me you’ll be more careful, Fi. You’ve been taking a lot of risks, especially walking around campus alone. I need you to be safe. If anything happened to you…” he trailed off and gulped audibly. “Please, Fi. Let me help you. If you say no, I’ll probably just follow you around like a stalker anyway.”
That made me smile, gods he was like a giant teddy bear. “I wouldn’t want to make a stalker out you. We’ll figure out a plan that gives us both peace of mind.” I laughed and brought his hand up from the table so I could gently kiss his fingertips.
Everything about how Marlen had handled this had been perfect. He was compassionate, didn’t offer empty platitudes about how it would be okay, and the concern he showed about my safety made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Even his little spurt of jealousy had been kind of sexy. I wasn’t ready to admit it to him yet, I could barely admit it to myself, but I didn’t think I’d be able to walk away from this handsome, playful, kind fae.
“Now that’s out of the way, let’s enjoy this amazing dinner you’ve prepared so we can move on to dessert.”
Fi
My relief at telling Marlen about my magic had me giddy. For the first time since I’d met Marlen, I wasn’t fighting the mating pull at all. It felt like a crushing burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I reveled in the way the pull physically drew me to Marlen, the sensuality I was feeling, the red-hot desire that had me squirming in my seat all through dinner.
All throughout dinner, I was reaching for Marlen constantly and flirting like crazy. It was a side of me he’d never seen before and it was definitely affecting him. I couldn’t tell if it was all me or if the mating pull was driving us both insane with need but everything about him was seducing me tonight. I could feel Marlen’s desire like it was my own, tightening around my nipples and aching between my thighs. The double dose of lust was driving me crazy in the best possible way.
The desire Marlen felt was only second to the sense of pride he had been feeling since I told him about magic. I wished I had more insight into why he felt that way. My best guess is he was proud I trusted him? The thought made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside — an emotion that was entirely my own.
We worked together to clean up after dinner in the small basin. As we finished, I wrapped my arms around Marlen’s waist from behind and rested my cheek against his back, pressing every inch into him. He was all firm lines in contrast to my soft curves. My hands slid slowly over the ridges of his abs down to the bulge in his trousers, gently running them back and forth over his length.
Marlen exhaled a long breath. “Foxglove, what are you doing?”
“Just checking something,” I mumbled into his back, smiling.
“What is it that you’re checking?” he asked, reaching his hands back and rubbing them down the outside of my thighs, pulling my body even closer to his.
I hummed in satisfaction, sliding around him ducking under his arm, so I was between him and the basin. Leaning up to his ear, I whispered, “I was checking to see if you’re as turned on as I am right now.”
Marlen ran his hands up my legs, under my dress to cup a generous handful of my ass.
“And? What’s the verdict?” he asked, keeping one hand cupping my ass and moving the other in between us, so he could rub over my already damp panties.
“Fuck, never mind foxglove. You’re soaking,” he groaned, leaning his forehead against mine. “On the bed, Fi, I have to taste you.”
I tipped my face up and bit down lightly on Marlen’s lower lip, sucking it into my mouth. “Not tonight. I have other plans for you tonight.”
“Mm, and what might those be?” he asked cautiously, and I felt an ember of his hope spark in my chest.
“I want everything,” I whispered breathily into his ear, lightly pushing him back towards the ladder and following him up to the bed.
I was so ready for this. Mentally and physically. I needed zero foreplay at this point. All I could think of throughout dinner is that there were no secrets between Marlen and me. Finally, we were free to take things to the next level. It was a weirdly massive turn-on.
Something about Marlen made me want to take the lead. Whenever I was with him, I had a burning desire to make him worship me, to possess his passion, to mark him, and brand him and let everyone know he was mine. Either I had a previously undiscovered dominant side, or it was a hang-up from the whole Corsen incident, and knowing how recently he’d been screwing other women. Just the thought made me want to leave a deep bite mark on his throat so everyone would see he was mine.
I crawled up the bed, attempting to look seductive and hoping I was pulling it off before straddling Marlen’s hips and teasingly undoing the buttons on his shirt. He grinned up at me, tugging at the bottom of my dress. Tonight wasn’t going to be slow. I had
so much pent up frustration to work off with this fae. We had the rest of the night to explore all the things we wanted to do to each other. Hopefully, more than tonight.
I made quick work of our clothes and crawled to his side so I could take him into my mouth, slowly licking and savoring the bead of precum on his tip. He’d tasted me before, and turnabout is fair play. I hadn’t ever given oral before, and I’d been dying to try it on him.
Wrapping my hand around the base of his thick length, I worked it up and down as I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock. Marlen gathered a handful of my hair and guided the back of my head gently, groaning and making all kinds of delicious sounds that spurred me on. He was making those sounds because of me, I was having this effect on him. It made me feel… powerful.
I slowly moved down his shaft, taking him inch by inch into my mouth and marveling at the velvety smoothness of his cock. This was much more fun than I thought it would be. His lust was building in me, I felt how much he was enjoying this, felt his pleasure as if it was my own.
Just as I settled into a rhythm, I felt his hand drift towards my soaking core, and he slid two fingers into me, pumping to my match my speed. Gods, that was distracting. I moaned around him and felt him increase his speed, mercilessly plunging his fingers into me until I was a mewling mess.
Turned all the way on and needing more, I moved to straddle him. Letting him guide my hips, I sunk down inch by glorious inch, relishing the burning stretch of him filling me up. Either Marlen was supremely well endowed, or fae were just bigger in general because I had never felt anything like this before. I was full.
Taking a moment to adjust, I look up through a curtain of hair at Marlen’s satisfied expression.
“This is quite the view, foxglove. I could get used to it,” Marlen murmured, reaching up to cup my breasts, rolling and pinching my nipples between his thumb and forefinger. Smug fae.
Wanting to make sure he knew I was in charge, I lifted myself up and slammed down on him, relishing his groan of pleasure. Marlen’s hands gripped my hips hard enough to bruise as I rode him hard, my nails raking lines into his chest and over his forearms. It was too much, I was too hot and too cold, pulling him closer and pushing him away. My body was wound so tight that if I didn’t come soon I might actually die.
Marlen lifted his thumb to my mouth, and I sucked it deeply before he moved it down to work rough circles over my sensitive nerves, sending me into a heart-stopping orgasm. My neighbors would probably hear but I couldn’t hold the scream in if I wanted to. I felt him tremble then still underneath me as he climaxed with one final thrust, growling out my name, hands still gripping my hips as if he’d never let me go.
This was ten times better than when he made me come from his mouth alone. This was everything. I wanted at least three of these a day.
I collapsed against Marlen’s chest, panting, sweating and burning in all the right places. Marlen arms banded tightly around me, pulling me up his chest for a slow, sweet kiss.
“You’re incredible, foxglove,” he whispered against my lips, and my heart swelled with affection for this man who knew my terrifying secret and accepted me anyway.
I moved next to him, cuddling up in his side with my ear against his chest and leg flung over his. Marlen’s hand rested firmly on my hip, rubbing soothing patterns into my skin with his thumb. I’d never felt so at peace, even as I fought against my natural inclination to flee.
It might be awkward if I ran away from my own cabin.
“I know you haven’t formally asked me to be your suitor, and maybe you don’t see me that way yet,” Marlen broached hesitantly, “but I want you to know you’re it for me, foxglove. For what it’s worth.”
I moved my head back into the crook of his arm so I could meet his eyes. He looked down at me with so much adoration in his gaze that my cold, guarded heart skipped a beat. I’d sensed bouts of self-doubt from Marlen before but I’d never seen him so visibly unsure.
“Though I doubt you’ll have any competition for me,” he added, “you marked me up pretty good.”
He winked good-naturedly as he admired the lines I raked down his forearms, and my face heated up. Fortunately, he didn’t feel angry. If anything, he was exuding a smug sort of male satisfaction that I’d never picked up on before.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” I admitted, “maybe it’s because of that night at the bonfire…”
He smiled reassuringly as if I hadn’t tried to rip his skin to ribbons with my nails. “It’s normal, foxglove if that’s what you’re worried about. Fae females are notoriously possessive over their suitors, marking them is one way they express that. After the claiming, the mating mark appears, which lessens some of the territorial urges.”
Well, that was unfortunate since I still planned to put off anything to do with claiming for as long as physically possible. If ever. I deflected instead. “I guess fae males aren’t possessive then? Because of the whole sharing thing?”
He tucked me closer into his side, one hand playing lazily with my curls as he pondered the question.
“Not at the beginning, I guess. After the claiming, we’re very protective and wary of anyone outside our mating circle. Before we’re bonded, we males are just doing our best to impress the girl, you know? We don’t really have the right to be possessive yet.” He smiled at me.
"That doesn't seem fair to me," I said frowning at Marlen. "I don't want to be treated like some kind of goddess while doing nothing to woo you in return. You should expect me to impress you as well."
"It's not really the way it works, foxglove. Particularly with a connection as strong as ours. You don’t need to impress me. Our magic is compatible and we're kindred souls, I'd be crazy to let you go."
"I get that," I said slowly, not wanting to upset him. "It's just that everyone keeps saying that pursuing a mating pull is a choice. If you automatically pursue someone with a strong pull, it doesn't seem so much a choice as an inevitably."
Marlen's insecurity was rising so quickly, I felt like I was drowning in it.
"All I mean is I want to be chosen for me, not because magic says it's a good idea, you know?” I added quickly, hoping to reassure him.
“Trust me, Fi, I choose you, for you, every day. Please don’t be offended by me trying to impress you, foxglove. It’s a privilege for a male fae to get to demonstrate his worthiness. Even if I’m not officially your suitor.” Marlen leaned down and sweetly kissed my temple. It still sounded kind of sexist to me, but I didn’t want to upset him again.
“Between the two of us, it’s not your worthiness that I’m worried about,” I murmured.
Marlen chuckled. “I know you don’t see it yet, foxglove, but you will. You've spent so long hiding your abilities and denying your nature that you don’t recognize how amazing you really are. You deserve the world, Fi.”
I tipped my head back to meet his lips. I meant for it to be a sweet, gentle kiss, but it morphed into something much more. I was baring my soul through this kiss, telling Marlen all the things I felt but wasn’t ready to say. He returned my passion in kind, reassuring me with every stroke of his tongue and nip of his teeth that he was mine, heart, and soul, that he’d wait for me.
I vowed to myself to find out more about how mating would affect my magic and make an informed decision on the risk. I was losing the battle to keep Marlen at arm's length, and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to keep fighting it.
◆◆◆
“Is there something you particularly wanted to discuss, Ffion? You seem distracted.” Gwyneira asked kindly as I tried and failed for the hundredth time to erect a mental shield against Gwyneira’s emotions.
I've been keeping a close watch and I still hadn’t sensed anything concerning from her. My reasons for not telling her everything had started to sound weak even to my own ears. I decided to take a small leap of faith that she was in fact on my side and ask her about the impact of mating on my magic. The guilt of constantly pu
shing Marlen away when I knew he wanted more was wearing heavily on me. It had been a week since we’d started having sex and the urge to claim him as my mate was so strong it was almost suffocating.
“I was curious about the impact of mating bonds on gifted abilities,” I hedged cautiously. I hadn’t explicitly stated that I was asking for me but I’m sure Gwyneira figured out. It was probably hard to pull the wool over the eyes of someone who has been around for 400 years.
Her eyes twinkled. “All of those with gifted abilities notice differences in their magic once they have completed a mating bond. It may be an increase in strength or a new ability entirely.” She looked at me pointedly.
“You think it’ll be the latter for me, I take it?” I muttered, my heart dropping.
“Not for the first bond, maybe not even the second…” Gwyneira said cautiously. “From what I have read, only when an empath's mating circle is complete can they can influence the emotions of crowds.”
“Ugh,” I groaned petulantly. “Sorry. I just really don’t want to influence emotions. Experiencing them is more than enough to deal with,” I added, embarrassed.
Gwyneira chuckled at my outburst. “It is a powerful ability, one that was often abused when the empaths were still around. There was a time when all fae could erect mental shields, like the ones we have been working on, to prevent being influenced. It has been many centuries since we needed such a skill. While the myth of the empaths is still popular among the fae, much of the practical knowledge has been lost to time.
“When you fully come into your abilities, you will be a coveted weapon if the information falls into the wrong hands.”
I stared at her at a loss for words. Why couldn't I get some telepathy skills instead? It’d be awesome if I could have silent chats with Marlen. We could really go to town on the dirty talk in public.
The Terrible Gift (Empath Found Book 1) Page 11