by Dinah McLeod
"Yeah. And, um," she licked her lips nervously, "I was trying to use your computer but I realized… I don't actually know your p-password." She gulped hard.
If Robert noticed her nervousness, he didn't let on. "Try Cubs1945."
"Um… okay."
He laughed at the dubious look she shot him. "The World Series? Remember?"
"No-o."
Robert grinned ruefully at her. "We watched the game together. Does that jog your memory?"
"Oh. Right." Sadie glanced down at the keyboard so that he wouldn't see her roll her eyes. Only her husband would watch a taped game that had been played before he had been born. He knew she wasn't a sports fan, but he'd asked her to watch, so she had. She'd also consulted Google, so she'd known that the Cubs would lose hours before the game had mercifully ended. "You're not very sentimental, are you?"
"Says who? That was a very emotional time for me." He winced, as though the memory was still fresh.
Sadie just nodded and typed in the password. This time when she hit enter, his screen popped up. Under the guise of checking her email, her eyes quickly scanned the desktop. Then she opened a folder titled 'Important Documents' but nothing caught her eye. It looked like a bunch of documents about fantasy football to her. She hoped he wasn't putting money on his hunches.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Robert moving toward her. She hurriedly clicked on the Explorer icon and had just enough time to type in the Google mail address before he was behind her.
She couldn't help but tense when his arms slipped around her waist. Did he suspect that she was lying?
"Are you still mad at me?"
"Um… no. Are you mad at me?" she asked, her voice trembling the slightest bit.
"Of course not," he murmured, kissing her ear lobe.
Despite herself, a shiver went through her. When he began to nuzzle her neck, she began to relax.
"What's your password, by the way?"
"Rob&Sadie4-ever," she replied without a second thought.
"Oh. That's sweet. Make me feel bad, why don't you?"
A ghost of a smile flickered over her lips. "Sorry."
"Don't be. I like how romantic you are." To prove it, he slipped the strap of her shirt down and began to nibble her shoulder.
"What are you doing?" she asked, giggling nervously.
"You mean you can't tell? I thought it'd be obvious. I'm trying to make up for last night."
"Oh, you don't have to…"
"Of course I do. You're my wife, my beautiful bride."
Sadie uttered a little sigh. Robert could be romantic, when he tried, no matter what he said.
"But, come to think of it, maybe I should be mad at you."
"What?" she asked, her heart stilling in her chest.
"Well, I did catch you using my computer without permission," he pointed out, his voice silky-smooth and playful.
"Not using it, exactly. Trying to. That doesn't count, right?" She looked over her shoulder just in time to see his grin. She paused, trying to decide whether he was playing with her or really upset. Not that he had a reason to be upset… as far as he was concerned.
"It counts. And maybe I can see it in my heart to forgive you. After you've been properly reprimanded."
"Reprimanded?" she squeaked, trying to skit away.
Unfortunately, her husband caught hold of her wrist, and before she knew what was happening had dragged her back to his plush desk chair. In one swift move he sat, pulling her face-down over his lap.
"Stop it!" she demanded, kicking her legs. "I didn't do anything wrong! I mean it, Rob!"
"Hmm, me thinketh the lady doth protest too much."
Ugh! This wasn't the time to be quoting Shakespeare, damn him! She was ninety percent sure—well, more like eighty-five—that he was just teasing her, but knowing that she was in fact doing something wrong made it harder to be sure.
"Now, stop your squirming and be still, or I'll take those adorable panties down." He leaned down, his mouth brushing against her ear. "I can see them through your tights."
Double damn. That would have been nice information to have before she'd gone to the market that morning. No wonder that older gentleman had let her go ahead of him in line. Just thinking about it made her cheeks flush.
It didn't look like she had much choice. If Robert didn't suspect, fighting too hard would make him think about it harder, and she didn't want that. So she guessed she'd just have to do what he'd asked and play along.
"There's my good girl," he praised, almost as though he could read her thoughts.
Sadie swallowed hard. He must not suspect anything. She should be relieved, and yet…
When the first spank came down on her upturned behind, it wasn't so much a swat as it was a caress. The second that followed was a gentle pat, as was every one that came after it. Normally, she would have been thrilled with a love spanking, but knowing that she was guilty as sin, knowing that she deserved to have her ass turned cherry-red made it hard to be happy.
"Rob…"
"Hmm?"
"I-I think there's something I need to tell you."
"What's that, baby?"
Oh, God. He was being so sweet, so tender with her. She hated to ruin it, and ruin it was exactly what she'd do if she came clean. But she had to tell the truth or she'd die of guilt. "It's just…" Maybe she should get off his lap first. Or would that be pointless, considering he'd most likely haul her right back over his knees?
"What, love?" he asked as he gave her a firmer but still soft pat on the ass.
"Well…" She took a deep breath and was ready to spill everything, from her suspicions about his secret phone calls to Lexi's advice on snooping when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She lifted her hips so that she could slide it out. She saw Lexi's name flashing on the screen. "Um, do you mind if I take this? It's Lexi."
Robert sighed, mock-heavy. "Well, I guess, if you have to. I do owe you one. Don't keep me waiting too long. The girls get out of school in a little bit."
"Thank you," she said, scooting off his lap and sprinting out of the room as fast as she dared before she hit the Talk button. "Hello?"
"Hey, Sadie. Why are you whispering?"
"No reason," she hissed. "Just that my husband came home and caught me snooping through his computer."
"Really? What did you find?" she asked eagerly, seeming nonplused by Sadie's dilemma.
She rolled her eyes. "Nothing. I wasn't even snooping, really. I was trying to. I couldn't guess his password."
"Hmm. Something to do with sports, I'd bet."
Sadie frowned at the phone. Did her friend know her husband better than she did?
"Anyway, what did he say when he found you?"
"I made up some excuse about my laptop not working and asked for his password."
"Did he give it to you?"
"Of course he did. It would have looked suspicious if he didn't, don't you think?"
"Oh." Lexi sounded disappointed. "It can't be on his computer then."
"What?"
"Well, if he gave you his password there can't be evidence on his computer," she reasoned.
"Maybe there is no evidence," Sadie suggested hopefully. "Maybe I was just being paranoid, maybe there really is nothing to find."
"Do you really believe that?"
Sadie sighed. Lexi's voice echoed the doubts she felt. "No," she admitted reluctantly.
"Well then, you just have to keep looking. You should start by checking your credit card statements. You can do that online."
She bit down on her bottom lip. Robert paid the bills, but getting the account information shouldn't be too hard. He kept a list in a drawer somewhere. She could find it—probably.
"And the most important thing is to not let him know that you're onto him! Act normal."
"How am I supposed to do that? I don't feel normal."
"Simple: you fake it, honey."
Sadie sighed and rolled her eyes. Of course. Trust Lexi
to have all the answers—and none of them at the same time. "I've got to go. Robert's waiting on me."
"Okay. Good luck! And remember, you can call me anytime if you need some guidance!"
She hung up the phone not feeling any better than she had when she'd first answered. In fact, if anything, she felt worse. Maybe she should just can the whole detective bit and just ask him. That was what common sense told her to do. And yet… if there really was something going on, could she trust him to tell her? Would he admit it if-if he were having an affair? Even the thought made tears spring to her eyes.
She wiped them away hurriedly. She wasn't doing anyone any good feeling sorry for herself. Of course she could never tell him she suspected an affair. If she was wrong, it would crush him that she'd ever doubted him in the first place. And if she was right… well, she could stand to let that realization be delayed for a little while longer.
When she finally pulled herself together, she made her way back to Robert's office. Just as she made it to the door, she saw him stand up and begin to walk toward her. She managed to put a smile on her face, but he didn't seem to notice.
"Sorry, hon. Duty calls. I have to run out just for a minute, but I'll be back soon."
"What?"
"Work called. There's some sort of emergency. I'll get done as soon as I can."
"What kind of emergency?"
"Can't talk right now. I have to run. Love you."
Sadie barely felt the peck he pressed to her temple. Her mind was whirling. In all the years she'd known him, he'd never, ever had to go back to work. And they'd certainly never had an emergency. Which must mean…
Just then, the baby monitor crackled to life and she could hear LJ making his happy coos, the sounds of a well-rested baby that undoubtedly wouldn't let her think. "I'm coming," she mumbled, as though he could hear her. She was still lost in thought as her feet carried her down the hall.
***
"Did you find anything yet?"
"No. Maybe I'd have more luck if I knew what to look for," Sadie replied, a bit peeved, though not at Lexi.
"Look for charges from restaurants, movies, lingerie stores. Things like that."
"Lingerie stores?" she yelped.
"Money spent at places on dates that don't add up."
"Fine," she grumbled, scrolling down on the browser. She was using her laptop this time, not wanting to risk another run-in with Robert. She somehow doubted he'd be so easily fooled the second time around. "How'd you get so good at this anyway?"
"Oh, I used to be a detective."
"Really?" Sadie asked, impressed.
"Okay, I used to read a lot of Sherlock Holmes."
"Hmm. I thought his mysteries were a lot more complicated."
"Okay," Lexi sighed begrudgingly. "Stephanie Plum novels. Are you satisfied yet?"
"I don't see anything," she said to change the subject, hoping that Lexi couldn't hear her smile through the phone line. "Wait a minute…"
"What?" Lexi pounced.
"Nothing. It's just…"
"What, Sadie? For God's sake, what?"
"There's a charge here. It's for Tazikkis."
"Ooh, that fancy steakhouse."
"Yeah," she answered, her heart leaping into her throat. It was painful to swallow over it. "Except that Robert's never taken me."
"Oh, sweetie… maybe he just went by himself?"
Even Lexi sounded unsure of herself, and she wasn't the one looking at the hundred-dollar plus bill. "No. No, he wasn't alone. I have to go now, Lexi. I think I heard the door." She hung up the phone before her friend even had a chance to reply. Sadie didn't want to hear whatever false hope she'd give; she didn't want to hear the sympathy in her voice.
If there was anything she could do without, it was people's sympathy. All she wanted was for the numbers she was staring at to magically disappear so that she could convince herself she'd imagined the whole thing. The truth was, she'd never really believed that her husband was cheating on her. The hunt for clues had been an endorphin rush; it had been fun, but she'd never actually expected to find anything.
She'd thought at the end of all of this that she'd feel relieved and more loved than ever by the sweet man she'd married. She'd never expected to have a broken heart.
Chapter Eleven
"Hey, sweetheart." Robert bent over to kiss the top of Sadie's head. "How was the rest of your day?"
"Fine," she replied, not even bothering to disguise how morose her voice sounded. And why should she? She was hurt, why should she pretend otherwise? What was the point?
"Sorry that took longer than I expected."
Sadie didn't respond except with a snort that Robert either didn't hear or chose to ignore.
"What's for dinner?"
"Whatever you're making, I guess." She could feel him looking at her, but she didn't bother to meet his gaze.
"Are you sure nothing's bothering you?"
"Should something be bothering me?" She finally raised her head and met his eyes. Hers were fierce and angry, so much so that he took a step back. "I mean, you'd tell me if something were wrong, wouldn't you? You'd tell me, for instance, if you were seeing someone else behind my back?" By the time she finished speaking, she was practically spitting she was so livid.
When she'd first seen the charge, she'd cried. She'd sobbed into her pillow until she was as limp as a rag doll. Then she'd just gotten mad. The same pillow that had muffled her tears became a punching bag. She told herself she was going to stop her search, but now that he was standing here she knew what she had to do. She had to get answers. Nothing else would do. And he was going to be the one to give them to her. Better late than never—didn't they say that? Well, whoever had said it obviously wasn't being cheated on by their husband.
After she'd finished talking, she watched as Robert's face contorted through a range of emotions. At first, he'd just looked bewildered, but bewilderment quickly turned to shock which morphed into embarrassment just as quickly.
"Sadie, whatever you think you've found—"
"What I think I've found?" she echoed in shrill disbelief.
"I can explain I promise—"
"I don't want you to explain," she sneered. "I think I can figure it out. I've had two kids too many, right?"
"Sadie—"
"I'm almost thirty, I'm getting gray hair. I get it, okay? You don't have to rub my face in it."
"No, honey, you don't understand at all. You—"
"I don't want your explanations," she insisted through narrowed eyes and gritted teeth. "I told you that. I just want your phone."
"My… my phone?"
"Your phone." She held her hand out expectantly but despite how determined she sounded, she was still a bit surprised when he surrendered his BlackBerry. Once she had it, warm and heavy in her palm, she didn't know quite what to do with it. Her first instinct was to hurl it across the room and put a nice, big dent in the dining room wall, but what if she destroyed the evidence?
That was what she was supposed to be looking for: evidence. But did she really want to see further proof that her husband, the man who she loved with all her heart, had strayed? She could feel herself start to get shaky, and knowing that tears would be quick to follow she turned her attention to the phone. "Password?"
"Sadie, if you'll just—"
"Password."
"0615."
That gave her momentary pause. It was their anniversary. How could he do that? Think about their wedding, think of her every time he unlocked his phone and yet…
"Please, don't cry."
She hadn't realized she was until he mentioned it. She reached up and touched her cheek, surprised to find a tear there.
"Babe, just let me—"
"No," she cut him off, holding up a hand as he began to walk toward her. "Don't. I can't right now." Without another word she typed the numbers into his phone and it unlocked in a single click. She went straight for the text messages and her eyes scanned them hungrily. One
conversation near the top caught her eye. Sylvester's Place 8:00 it read.
"If you'd give me a chance to explain, I can clear this up."
The wind had been knocked out of her the moment her worst fears were confirmed. She remembered that night. They'd been having such a good time, then he had to leave on an unspecified 'work emergency' that he'd never discussed afterward. Oh, God, her chest was so tight it was hard to breathe.
Her eyes snapped up to look at him. "Fine," she rasped. "Explain. Explain why you're texting…" Her eyes flitted back to the phone again and upon reading the name, the knife twisted in her gut. "Sebastian." Robert blanched, but she ignored it and continued. "A man? You're throwing away our happiness for…" She trailed off and swallowed hard over the tears that clogged her throat. It was just too awful to contemplate.
Robert didn't even have the grace to look ashamed. Instead, the look on his face was one closer to shock. "What?"
"Oh, come on," Sadie choked out, finally unable to stop the tears. "Don't bother denying it. It's right here in your phone."
"Sadie…" Yes, he definitely looked shocked. "What exactly do you think's going on here?"
She furrowed her brow, glaring at him. "I'm not an idiot, Robert! You've been acting weird for weeks! And now… now…" She couldn't continue, nor could she help but give into her tears which quickly turned to sobs that she tried to muffle with the back of her hand.
"Answer me. What exactly are you accusing me of?"
How dare he sound so stern with her? After all he had put her through? Who the hell did he think he was?
"Sadie Miller, look at me, young lady."
She threw her head back and glared at him. "Don't you young lady me! While you've been going behind my back doing God knows what, I've been keeping our family together! What right do you have—"
"Keeping our family together?" he echoed incredulously. "What are you talking about?"
"You've been sneaking around, keeping secrets. Don't think I don't know!"
"I don't know what you know!"
"You're yelling!" she snapped.
"So are you!"
Sadie furrowed her brow and gave a loud huff. "Fine. I'll stop if you will. We don't want the kids to hear." There. She was being the sensible, mature one. She could handle this with grace and aplomb, for the kids' sake.