by C. J. Anaya
“Crysta, this amber stone holds healing properties that may be able to help you, but the only way we can find out is if you absorb those healing properties into your own core.”
Right. My core. I had core magic. Winter magic. It had been bound before to keep me from hurting myself after Jareth attacked me, but my father unbound it once I was conscious again…and utterly clueless as to who I’d become.
Sweat soaked my back and chest and the shivering refused to subside. I turned my head as a rough hand touched my forehead and a green being came into view.
“She is dying,” Zauhn choked. “You must do it now.”
I wanted to tell this new guy I was most certainly not dying, but Kheelan’s own panic seemed to verify the dude’s statement.
Well, crap. That wasn’t good.
The man lurched forward, grabbing at his chest. With great difficulty he steadied himself, but his breathing was so much worse. Then he surprised me by placing a gentle hand on my forehead. His sad smile touched me in a way that made me want to hang on a little longer and fight a little harder.
“You cannot die,” he rasped. “You are our only hope.”
I turned my attention back to Kheelan.
“How do… I d-do it?” I said through chattering teeth.
“I will help you. Just leave your heart open to me. I will place the stone on your chest, but you will have to repeat these words after me and visualize the stone becoming one with your core. You need to allow the magic from the stone to flow through you.”
“Okay,” I managed.
My body shook uncontrollably now, and the cold surface I rested on was already slick with my sweat.
“Repeat after me, Magic chéile, déanfaidh an dá sreangán. Magic le chéile, an dá chéile.”
My teeth were clenched together so tight, I barely got out the words, but the moment I did, heat blossomed throughout my chest, my shaking subsided, and my core began to fill in a way I had a difficult time understanding. I hadn’t realized my core was so empty until it began to fill with whatever healing magic that amber stone possessed. It didn’t fill it completely, but enough that I realized for the first time, there was room in my core for more magic. I suddenly had a mental picture of a white sphere of light, part of it filled with a sparkling blue color and another part filled with deep shades of amber. The sphere had weirdly shaped golden rings superimposed over its image. I blinked my eyes and the vision faded away.
For a moment I held still, worried that any movement might make the aching pain return in full force, but I realized I felt amazing. More than amazing. I felt a little more complete than before.
Zauhn softly stroked my cheek as green tears streamed down his face.
“My queen,” he whispered. Then he inched himself back and rose to his feet, his exuberant smile made me feel proud for some reason. I also noticed he’d completely recovered from whatever had been messing with him.
Were these guys empathic when it came to other peoples’ suffering?
I turned my head to the side to look at Kheelan who hovered over me with an awed expression on his face.
”It worked,” Kheelan said to himself. “You absorbed it.” He stood up and looked ahead of him, his eyes unseeing. “Two elemental magics coexisting within one core. Your father and I thought it would destroy the realm, but this is proof that your fated mate bond could actually work.”
I scrunched my brow in confusion.
“Kheelan, what are you talking about? What’s a fated mate bond?”
My words brought him out of his thoughts and his eyes widened in surprise. Then a strange expression flitted across his features so quickly I wasn’t sure I’d actually seen it.
For a moment, it looked like grief.
His expression hardened and his jaw set into a grim, determined line.
“Kheelan,” I said as I tried to sit up.
He reached for me and pulled me into his arms, burying his face in my neck.
“I don’t care,” he said. “I won’t lose you. I can’t lose you to Jareth, even if the bond won’t destroy our realm.”
I gripped him, holding him close, sensing his need, but failing to understand where this grief was coming from or why he thought he might lose me. Had the spell not worked after all? Was this healing only temporary?
“Please, tell me what’s wrong. Did the stone not work?”
He pulled back and brushed my hair from my face.
“I love you,” he said. “No matter what happens from this moment on, please know that I’ve made this decision because I love you with every fiber of my being.”
“You’re scaring me, Kheelan. Nothing you’ve said makes any sense.”
He nodded, his eyes clouding over as he took in my expression.
“I know, and I can’t explain it. Just know that I will do everything in my power to be the best, most loving husband you could ever ask for.”
My heart softened at his words even though marriage was something I didn’t think I could contemplate right then. I ran my thumb over his cheek and let his love wash over me, filling me and making me whole. He was still a stranger to me, but I felt an ache tug at my heart every time I looked at him.
I had to trust that eventually I would remember, and even if I didn’t, I was willing to get to know him all over again. He was the only thing in this world that seemed familiar.
“I…I know you will,” I finally said, not sure if it was the right thing to say, but unwilling to cause him anymore sadness or anxiety.
He must have been holding his breath until I responded because he let it out in a relieved puff. We clung to each other like that for several more moments, taking comfort in each others’ arms for different reasons. He was my safety and security, and I seemed to be the love of his life, whole and healthy now. I still wanted to take things slow, but I embraced him with everything I had, eager to let him know I accepted him and his love even though I wasn’t quite there yet.
But I was sure I could be.
Someday.
“You can’t tell your father about this,” Kheelan said once we returned to our tiny apartment.
“Tell him about what?” I asked.
Chuck snuggled close to me on the bed. I scratched his scaly head just behind his ears and smiled when he let out a soft purring sound. I still couldn’t get over the fact that I had a pet dragon of all things…and I’d named him Chuck.
So random.
Not really an intimidating dragon name.
“About absorbing the healing properties of the stone.”
I narrowed my brows in confusion.
“Why wouldn’t I tell him?”
Kheelan shifted uncomfortably in the leather back chair next to a hearth where a nice fire burned. He looked at the crackling flames for a moment before turning his attention back to me.
“Your father advised against that course of action since the magical properties of stones can be volatile at times and difficult to control. He worried it might make you worse.”
“You want him to assume I got better on my own?”
He nodded. “It will save me an argument.”
I thought about that for a moment, feeling like his request was a little silly. So what if my father had advised against it? Once he saw I was better would it really matter whether Kheelan had gone against his wishes or not?
“It would also be better if you didn’t mention what happened afterward.”
He gazed at me intently as I tried to understand why all this secrecy was necessary.
“To be honest, I have no idea what to tell my father. I didn’t understand any of that back there.”
Right after the stone healed my illness, the Stargis named Zauhn knelt before me, grabbed my hand and rested his forehead on the back of it. He said something in a strange language and then all the green beings around him dropped what they were doing and knelt to the stone floor.
Zauhn had lifted his eyes to meet mine and said, “You are our queen now. We swe
ar fealty to you. Please save us from our suffering.”
I’d turned to Kheelan, completely baffled by Zauhn’s behavior and his desperate plea. Kheelan had placed a restraining hand on Zauhn’s shoulder, receiving a baleful glare from the scaly green being.
“Don’t touch her,” he told the Stargis.
Zauhn had growled in anger, but reluctantly released my hand. Kheelan got us out of there quickly, but not before I turned back to look at the hundreds of Stargis kneeling on the ground, staring after me as if I was the only one capable of saving them.
Saving them from what?
It made absolutely no sense to me, but I’ll admit to feeling a tearing pain within my heart as I walked away from a race of beings who assisted in saving my life.
“Are you going to explain it to me?” I finally pressed when his silence began to grate on my nerves.
“You’re the heir to the Unseelie Court, Crysta. You’re their queen and they’ve had to go into hiding because they supported you and your father instead of your uncle and King Moridan. They’re counting on you to overthrow the evil beings who want to rule in our stead. They’re counting on you to save them.”
“I’m not powerful enough to overthrow anyone. I can’t even remember a simple spell.”
“You will learn, Crysta. I’ll help you regain what you’ve lost.”
What he said made sense, but it didn’t explain Zauhn’s behavior or the obvious hatred that he and Kheelan held for each other. Those last few moments down there were tense. There was some other issue at play, and I didn’t have a handle on it. I only knew what Kheelan was willing to tell me, and I was afraid he was keeping things from me in order to shield me from any burdens that, as a couple, we really should have shared. Maybe he thought I wasn’t ready to handle it since I couldn’t even remember him, but if I was going to rule by his side, I needed him to trust me, not shield me.
We were a couple.
I felt all kinds of confusion on that score.
“Why should I keep this from my father?”
Kheelan shook his head in irritation.
“Your father would kill me if he knew I took you down to the lower levels of the mine. It isn’t safe for you to wander the mines when Jareth and your uncle are out searching for you. You’re as vulnerable as a baby brownie without any idea as to how to use your magic. Not to mention, mingling with the Stargis is beneath your station.”
My eyes widened in surprise.
“My station? Sounds a little snobby to me. If I’m their queen, shouldn’t I be with them, learning about their problems and helping them in any way I can?”
He tilted his head to consider me for a moment before a slow smile lit his features.
“You’ll be a remarkable ruler someday, Crysta. You’re already a remarkable woman.”
Heat suffused my cheeks, not only due to his praise but because of the way his emerald eyes darkened with desire. His feelings for me were intense and overwhelming. I sensed how much he wanted me even though he was sitting in a chair across the room.
I repressed the nervous tension building within me and ignored the ravenous look in his eyes.
“Okay. I’ll just pretend this whole morning never happened.”
“That sounds about right.”
Fine. I could keep a secret. It didn’t seem like a big deal, anyway. I didn’t want to cause my father some needless worry when everything had worked out well in the end.
“Now that I’m feeling much better, what’s our next step? Do we get to leave this prison soon?”
Kheelan frowned.
“Unfortunately, we can’t leave just yet. The attempt on your life is something your father and I must take seriously. Jareth and your uncle are no doubt searching for you right at this moment, and if they find you, Crysta, they will kill you. Of that you must have no doubt. The sprite mine has been spelled by myself, your father, and the Stargis, masking our presence and causing anyone who enters to be led down false trails. No one will ever be able to travel as deeply within the mines as we are currently located.”
“So what you’re saying is, until we have a strong enough army of supporters on our side, I’m stuck here in the Sprite Mines?”
“You don’t like your beautiful domicile? It’s not as if we’ve carried over the Sprite Mine motif in here. I don’t see any stone walls or rocky debris.” He gave me a teasing grin.
“Be serious. This may be as beautiful as any palace, but it’s still a prison on some level.”
Kheelan grimaced and shook his head.
“I’m sorry. It really depends more on how quickly you can harness your powers.” He bit his lower lip, looking as if he wanted to talk about something, but wasn’t sure if he should bring it up. “Crysta, I know you still have no memory of our time together, of the moments that caused us to fall in love with one another, but have you given any thought to our marriage? It would be best if it happened sooner rather than later.”
“Why?” I asked, stalling to avoid answering the question.
He tilted his head to the side, sorrow filling his eyes.
“You still don’t know how to feel about me, do you?”
Guilt slammed into me. I hated to make him sad, hated that I used to love him, and now I couldn’t remember anything about him. I tried to put myself in his shoes and knew I’d be devastated if someone I loved completely forgot everything about me.
So complicated.
I was stressing big time, and it made me crave sweets for some reason. I must have been an emotional eater before I lost my memory.
He let out a heavy sigh and tried to give me a brave smile, but it failed to light his face as so many of his wonderful smiles had before.
“Jareth and my father wanted you dead before we could seal our union. Our marriage gives us joint claim on both Courts and we will eventually decide which Court we want to rule together. Even then, we will have great sway with policies and administrative responsibilities in the other Court. Jareth wanted this alliance between you two, and my father upheld it because Jareth is his puppet and will do whatever he wishes. When you rejected his suit, his only other option was to kill you before you and I could marry.” Kheelan’s gaze became so severe I had to fight to keep my anxiety at bay. “My father is an evil man, Crysta. We don’t want him or my brother in charge of forming policies of any kind. They cannot be allowed to rule the Fae realm, but if you and I are married, our chance of success is greater. We’re stronger if we unite.”
An uneasiness settled over me during his explanation. Something about it didn’t necessarily ring true to me. Something about Jareth…it felt off. Even though I knew Jareth had tried to kill me, for the first time I had this nagging sense that there was more to the story.
I nodded my understanding anyway. Even if there was more, I knew Kheelan was right. If things were so precarious then we needed to be married at once to prevent Jareth’s supposed claim on me from screwing things up.
I just didn’t know if that was what I truly wanted. Kheelan was obviously a dream for any woman. He was thoughtful, compassionate, selfless, and handsome. There was no reason for me to hesitate when it came to marrying the man I had once loved, but I was entering into this blind. I didn’t have enough information, not enough pieces to this puzzle, and it made me nervous to decide anything so final when the heavy subject of marriage was on the line.
“I know you’re hesitant to marry, Crysta. You have every right to fear solidifying our relationship when you can’t remember me, but marriage will serve to protect you in other ways.”
“How so?”
He leaned forward in his chair, his emerald eyes glowing with an intensity that brought a blush to my cheeks.
“A magical bond will form between us, one that links us together and lets me know where you are and how you are. We will be able to speak to one another telepathically, and due to your special abilities, you will be able to absorb my magic to boost your own.”
“And will you be able to
absorb mine?”
He hesitated for a moment, a shadow passing over his features before his expression smoothed out.
“It won’t be necessary. It is tradition for royal husbands to protect their wives by sharing their magic with them.”
What he said didn’t necessarily ring true. I mean, why would it be necessary for me to absorb his magic, but not necessary for him to absorb mine? Shouldn’t we be sharing all we had with each other? It didn’t seem like a very balanced relationship in that respect, and what if accepting some of his magic to strengthen me only weakened him in the process?
He must have guessed my thoughts.
“I’m a very powerful royal, Crysta. Sharing my powers with you will never weaken me.”
I stayed silent for a moment, knowing he was waiting for me to protest our marriage, but I couldn’t dispute his logic, no matter how anxious I felt about it.
“I just need a little more time,” I finally said.
The smile that blazed across his face warmed me from the inside out.
“Of course. You will need to learn to harness your powers first in any case. We can marry just as soon as you are capable of participating in the marriage spell that connects us as husband and wife.”
I bit my lip in consternation.
“Is it a difficult spell?”
“No, but you’ve completely forgotten how to connect with your magic and use it. We’ll need to start training you so you’ll be capable of completing your part of the marriage bond.”
Based on how weak and frail I felt, that could take days or possibly weeks. It was selfish to hope for that outcome when we didn’t have that kind of time. With Jareth and my uncle hunting me, it made more sense to get married as soon as possible, no matter how fast it happened.
If only I had my memory back we could get married tomorrow and all that risk would be a non-issue.
“Kheelan, my lack of memories is going to hinder my progress here. Do you think there’s any way you can attempt to heal whatever is broken within my mind? Can you use magic to find out why my memories are gone and how to get them back?”
He considered it for a moment and nodded.
“I don’t know if it’s possible, Crysta. It would be better to wait for the last of the side effects to heal.”