Set to Music

by Negeen Papehn

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Anthony

  Tell me why, why the sun won’t shine on me

  Why the world won’t set me free

  Why life feels so unsweet

  Please tell me why

  Why my heart still aches and moans

  Why you won’t be coming home

  Why I feel so all alone

  Baby, tell me why

  The amphitheater falls silent as I extend the last note, pouring the pain of the past few months into my voice. The lyrics explain everything I feel, speaking to me like I’ve written them myself.

  Carlos heads toward the side of the stage, and I suddenly feel a rush of panic. I expect to see Dr. Steve run out because something on the monitor shows a problem with Carlos’s heart. But instead, Darya appears from behind the curtain, and it’s my heart that stutters.

  Am I dreaming?

  She slowly makes her way to me and I stand, drinking in the sight of her like I’ve been thirsty for a lifetime. Her lower lip is pulled between her teeth and she keeps glancing between me and the crowd. It’s clear she’s scared to death and I can’t help but love her even more knowing how much courage it’s taken for her to come out here. I didn’t even realize that was possible.

  As I fall back into the chorus, the screaming disappears, the instruments fade, and we’re the only two people in the world. All I see is her. There’s no more crowd, no more hot, bright lights, no more band members, no more expectations. Just pure, undeniable love.

  Leaving you was my biggest regret

  I know that now, it’s all I see

  My heart calls to you, my soul yearns for you

  Baby, find your way back to me

  The sea of faces, some crying, some smiling, jump to their feet and give me a standing ovation when I’m done.

  “Let’s get a little love for the songwriter,” Carlos announces. The crowd turns their cheers in Darya’s direction, and she blushes.

  “I can’t believe you did this,” I say. “And you did it for me?”

  “Yes.” Her eyes dart out across the sea of people before returning to mine. She rubs her hands together and clears her throat. “I’d write a thousand songs for you. I love you, Anthony.”

  Three simple words take me apart piece by piece. The weeks of being alone and the intensity of how much I missed her crash into me, and all I want is to pull her into my arms and never let her go.

  She lifts up on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around my neck. “Can I kiss you, Mr. Castillo?”

  I ignore the roaring crowd and grin. “Any time you want.”

  She kisses me, with a thousand people watching, like we’re alone in our hotel room. When she pulls away, I circle my arms around her waist and keep her close.

  “You wrote me a song,” I whisper in awe, more to myself than her.

  “Yeah. But I didn’t do it alone. Niloo and Carlos helped me.”

  I look at my brother and find him standing beside Niloo. He smiles while she gives me a small wave, both obviously delighted with the outcome of the evening.

  “That’s pretty badass, Doctor Zameeni.”

  “Well, I had to make some grand gesture to win you back, didn’t I?”

  “Winning me back would mean you actually had to lose me. And you never lost me, Darya. I’ve never stopped loving you.” I pull her in closer. “And I don’t think I ever will.”

  “Good. Because I know I’ll never stop loving you.”

  The audience chimes in with a collective awwww, and Darya’s eyes go wide. I can’t help but laugh any more than I can help knowing with certainty that my heart will forever be hers.

  I smile down at her. “I don’t want to spend another day without you,” I confess.

  A breath shudders out of her and she begins to tremble. Does she know where I’m going with this? I run my palm across the small of her back to steady her.

  “Darya, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone before. I never should’ve let you walk away. But now that I have you back, I have no intention of letting you go. If that’s what you want, of course. See…I was kind of hoping you might want to spend the rest of your life with me.”

  The crowd is glued to their seats, watching us like we’re on a movie screen. I don’t care. I’m so in love with this woman that I’d shout it from the rooftops. Which is exactly what I’ve just done, judging from all the phones pointed in our direction right now.

  Darya tilts her head to the side, a sexy smirk on her lips, even as the tears pooling in her eyes glisten in the amphitheater lights. “That sounds an awful lot like you’re proposing, Mr. Castillo.”

  I match her with a grin. “What do you say, Dr Zameeni? What do you think about being my wife?”

  “Mmm. I think that sounds like a fantastic idea.”

  She kisses me again, filling all the empty pieces I’ve been missing these past few months, making me whole again. And when she giggles against my lips when the crowd explodes with cheers, I know I’m the luckiest man in the world.

  Epilogue

  Darya

  “How you feeling honey?” Trina leans up against the counter with a stack of charts more impressive than my own.

  “Oh, you know,” I answer. “My feet ache like nobody’s business and I’m currently sporting cankles.” I twist my feet side to side as if I’m showing off a pair of sexy shoes. “And don’t forget I’m the size of a house.” I pat my stomach and she laughs.

  “First off, you are not the size of a house,” she clarifies. “More like a teeny-tiny condo.” She makes a small space between her index finger and her thumb for added clarification and I swat her with the chart I’m holding. “And let’s not forget, you’ll also be a year older tomorrow on top of that!” She throws her arms up in mock excitement.

  “You’re such a jerk.”

  “You love me. And so will baby Hannah,” she says, rubbing my belly.

  “We haven’t decided on the name yet.”

  “I know. But I figure, as her favorite aunt, I get a vote. And the more I call her Hannah, the more you won’t be able to see her as anything else.” She laughs, entirely too content with her evil plan.

  Before I have a chance to work out a witty comeback, my phone buzzes against my hip. I fish it out of my pocket, and a huge smile I have absolutely no control over stretches across my lips. I don’t need to tell Trina who it is—she can already tell by what’s probably my giddy schoolgirl blush.

  “Oh, it’s your man.” She rolls her eyes.

  “It is.” I take one of the empty seats behind the counter and pick up my phone. “Hi.”

  “Hey cariño, how are you?”

  “I’m okay,” I answer. “Trina’s being mean to me but what else is new?”

  “I am not being mean,” Trina calls over the counter. “Don’t listen to her, Anthony.”

  He chuckles on the other end of the line, and longing courses through my body in response to the deep, familiar sound.

  “Is your shift almost done?”

  “Yeah. I just have another hour, then I’m heading home.” I notice how pink and puffy my ankles are, peeking out from beneath my scrubs. How much longer will I even be able to see them past my belly? I feel ginormous.

  “Any plans for the night?”

  “No.” I sigh. “Niloo has an exam tomorrow and she’s preparing with a friend, so I’ll have the house to myself. I see pajamas, chayee, and Netflix in my future.” I pull at the edge of my scrub top. I need to get a bigger size.

  “You have room on that couch for one more?”

  “What?”

  I jump out of my seat just as the ER doors swing open. The commotion begins instantly, as the lead singer of Ternura enters the bay, bodyguards trailing him, paparazzi already flashing photos outside. He makes his way over to where I—his very sho
cked and massively pregnant wife—am standing.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Happy birthday!” he sings and throws his arms up for added dramatics. I halfway expect him to break out in jazz hands.

  “My birthday isn’t until tomorrow.”

  “It’s midnight.” He flashes me his watch. “It’s officially your birthday.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in to his chest. “I wasn’t going to let my wife celebrate her birthday without me.”

  My eyes fill with tears. I’d spent the entire day being depressed about my birthday because it’s the first one I’m having, while pregnant, without Maman.

  There will be no special fereni breakfast. Niloo offered to pick some up from the Iranian store, but no one makes the custard as perfectly as Maman did. And having to eat anything but hers is even more sad than not having any at all. We won’t have our customary morning walk as Maman forces me to make a list of birthday wishes for the year, while the three of us then conspire on how we can make them all come true no matter how silly they are. We won’t cut cake and open presents, or sit and watch Turkish soap operas afterward. And she’ll never get the chance to see me pregnant or feel her granddaughter move in my belly. Today the gaping hole in my chest feels larger somehow.

  “She’s here with us,” Anthony whispers, reading my mind. “She’s always with you.”

  I press my cheek against my husband’s chest and breathe in the smell of familiarity and peace. As he runs his hand across my hair, he wields his magic, lulling my soul. And when he kisses the crown of my head, I let him fill the void in my heart with his love.

  “Think you can get out of here a little early?” he asks, kissing my temple.

  “Yes she can,” Trina answers from behind me. I turn to find her leaning against the counter, grinning.

  “Are you sure?” I ask.

  “Yes.” She shoos us. “Go. Enjoy your night.”

  “Thanks.” I throw my arms around her. As best as I can with my belly in the way.

  “Get out of here, lovebirds,” she demands, kissing my cheek.

  I can already see a pack of paparazzi at the entrance, and I groan. Anthony gives me an apologetic smile. He knows how much I hate them, but there’s nothing he can do about it. Other than stop being famous.

  Just as I’m about to protest the life of a rock star, Travis steps up with a wide, boyish grin. His excitement makes me giggle, so out of character compared to his normally serious personality.

  “I found another way out.” He beams with his discovery.

  “There isn’t any other way out. I’d know,” I answer.

  “Yes there is,” he insists. “It’s a little bit of a maze, but if we hurry, I can get you out of here paparazzi free.”

  “Hurry?” I pat my stomach. “How am I supposed to hurry like this?”

  “That’s not a problem,” Anthony says.

  Before I know what he’s doing, he’s swoops me up with one fluid motion. It’s rather impressive actually, considering. He doesn’t waste a moment, heading down the hall behind Travis.

  “What are you doing?” I squeal.

  “What does it look like I’m doing?” He nips at my chin. “I’m carrying my wife out of here.”

  Wrapped protectively in his arms, my heart almost bursts with happiness. I have no idea how my life got me here, or how I got lucky enough to find Anthony. I never expected to fall in love. But now that I have, I can’t imagine my life without him.

  As I rest my head on Anthony’s shoulder and feel his lips against my temple, I know with every ounce of me that I’m living my very own real-life fairy tale. And I couldn’t ask for more.

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  Acknowledgments

  With every book I complete, I’m convinced it will be my last. That the magic I somehow wielded to put the words across the page will have dried out and I’ll never be able to do it again. As I write this now, I’m utterly overwhelmed—by the privilege to share another story with the world; by the faith my publisher, editors, and agent had in me; and by the beautiful support system I’ve acquired along the way. This act of writing has never been mine alone. I’ve been fortunate to be surrounded by a group of amazing, fierce, dependable humans, that are part of creating my stories, as I am. Without my tribe, I’m certain I wouldn’t have made it this far.

  To my girls: Ann, Leslie, Melissa, and Michele. Thank you for always pushing me when I’m digging in my heels, for making me feel badass when I’m having a hard time believing it, and for telling me I can do this even when I’m sure I can’t. I can’t express the amount of comfort and strength you provide. I love you all.

  Maryam, dokhtar khalehyeh azizam, I loved that you played a part in this book. From naming the band, to coming up with all the character names, to always being game to answer whatever “research” questions I send your way, thank you. I couldn’t ask for a better sister.

  Alex and Toni, you guys were awesome in humoring me as I texted you all hours of the day with questions on how to say things in Spanish because my high school knowledge took me just so far. Your enthusiasm and walks down memory lane, were fabulous.

  Eric, you rocked with your lyrics, and Juice, your insight was essential. Shirl and Alen, thanks for letting me pick your brains on all things medical.

  Jake Fluekiger, your role in Set to Music was so very important. Thank you for taking the time to be my sensitivity reader. I wanted to make sure that Carlos’s story was authentic, and your efforts and contribution did just that. I appreciate your willingness to share your experience with me and your dedication to making sure I got this right. And for all the help with title suggestions. You’re always ready to step up.

  Deepest thanks to everyone at Entangled that took part in making this book what it was meant to be. From the art department, to the marketing and publishing teams, you guys were amazing. I’m so excited to be a part of this family.

  To my editors, Heather Howland and Amy Acosta, what a ride. I didn’t think I could do it. Matter of fact, I almost threw in the towel. But your faith in me, and passion for this story, gave me the push I needed to rewrite this thing. Somewhere beneath the big pile of notes, and the multiple hour-long zoom conversations, I found the confidence to mold Set to Music into what it was meant to be. I can’t begin to tell you how much I’ve learned and grown through this process. Thank you for being all in with me. I couldn’t do this without you. Not even a little.

  Eva Scalzo, my amazing agent, you have gone above and beyond my expectations. You’ve tirelessly dealt with my constant meltdowns and bouts of insecurities, and I know it hasn’t been easy. From emails, text messages, and multiple phone calls to talk me off the ledge, you’ve become not only my friend, but my family. From the first day, your enthusiasm over this story, and excitement to see yourself reflected within the characters, was all I needed to know you were exactly who I’d been looking for. I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate all that you do for me. I’m so grateful.

  To my family, thanks for understanding when I have to ignore you because I’m on a deadline and can’t see past my computer screen. I love you all and am so blessed to have you in my life.

  To my tribe: there are too many of you to name individually but know that you’re encouragement and support has not gone unnoticed. I don’t know how I’d do this without you. You know who you are. Thank you.

  And last, but not least, to my boys who get a shout out in all my acknowledgments. I am so proud of the people you’re becoming. You’re both bright, loving, sincere, and bold. I’ve told you before, but I’ll say it again, always, always, dream big. As long as you can see it, you can reach it. Take it from me, it’s never too late to touch the stars. I love you both more than anything in this world.

  About the Author

  Negeen Papehn was born and r
aised in southern California, where she currently lives with her husband and two boys. She wasn’t always a writer. A graduate of USC dental school, Negeen spends half of her week with patients and the other half in front of her laptop. In the little time she finds in between, she loves to socialize, hang out with friends, throw parties, and relax with her family. She writes own voices contemporary romances where she strives to show her readers a glimpse into her Iranian heritage.

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