“We do. I pick them wild in the woods.” Michael pointed her in the direction of a bowl filled with chopped mushrooms. “Fresh tomatoes, too.”
“We picked those from Michael’s garden,” Jenny explained. “And spinach.”
Jason pulled a face. “I don’t like spinach.”
“Makes you grow big and strong,” Ruth replied. “It has iron in it.”
“Iron? But it’s a green leaf.” Jason picked up a leaf of spinach and looked at it in disbelief.
“Try it,” Ruth encouraged. She picked up a leaf and folded it into her mouth.
Jason wrinkled his nose. “I don’t like anything green.”
“You like grass,” Jenny stated. “And trees.”
“Not to eat,” Jason replied.
“Peas. You like peas. Fresh from the pod.” Jenny’s bottom lip trembled and Jason turned back to his pizza, but the lightness surrounding him had diminished.
“We could pick some peas from the garden,” Michael offered, picking up on the change in mood.
“We used to pick them with Mommy,” Jenny said softly. “We would sit around the kitchen table and shell them. She didn’t mind if we ate them raw. She always made sure there was still enough for dinner.”
Jason averted his eyes, concentrating with ferocity on placing his peperoni in a spiral around his pizza. He didn’t speak, it was as if he wanted to shut them all out. Or shut out memories of his mom.
“I think my pizza is ready,” Ruth announced, lifting it up to show them all.
Jenny giggled. “You made a face.”
“I did. When my brothers and sisters were younger, we used to make pizza, and we always used to make the ugliest faces we could.” Ruth smiled as she reminisced. “Frankie, my youngest sister, was the best at it, she has an amazing imagination.”
“Where are your brothers and sisters now?” Jenny asked, while Michael listened, and Jason ignored them.
“They live in my hometown. They all have mates except for Frankie. She’s traveled the world.” Ruth pictured her sister, once so ill, now so full of life, so full of adventure. She was the person who inspired Ruth to train to be a teacher, even when she said she was too old.
“All over the world?” Jenny asked. “Jason wants to go to the north pole and see polar bears. Our mom was a polar bear.”
“Shut up, Jenny.” Jason’s voice was hoarse. “You don’t have to tell everyone everything about us.”
“Why?” Jenny asked.
“Because some stuff is private.” Jason left his pizza and slunk off.
Michael started to follow, but Ruth put up her hand and said, “I’ll go.”
Michael nodded and watched Ruth as she followed Jason. “Want to sit outside for a while?”
“I want to be alone.” His expression filled with sadness, his eyes filled with tears. There was so much pent-up anger and fear and sorrow inside the young boy, Ruth wondered if he might explode.
“We don’t have to talk. We can just sit and listen to the birds.” Ruth guided him outside, there was a swing seat on the porch, and that’s where she headed. Jason followed. It was if he longed to reach out to someone, but wasn’t sure who to trust, or who even cared. “Want to sit?”
Jason nodded and pulled himself onto the swing seat, shuffling to sit with his back resting on the soft cushions. Ruth glanced sideways at him, and then clasped her hands, relaxing backward, letting herself be present in the moment. It was a coping mechanism she’d used many times when life spiraled out of control. In the moment, there was no fear for the future, or regrets of the past.
She smiled to herself. Jason’s behavior reminded her how she’d forgotten to be present. Slowly her habits had changed, and small things, like meeting her mate, had triggered memories that didn’t belong in her present. She had to make decisions based on the here and now, not on so many yesterdays, they blurred into one.
“My mom died when I was fifteen,” Ruth began, she didn’t look at Jason, or wait for him to answer as she continued. “My stepfather was a shifter, and he was so consumed with grief he couldn’t look after us. So I took over. I was older and I became mom and dad. It’s tough, that kind of responsibility, when you’re still a kid yourself.”
Ruth let the silence settle between them, until finally Jason said, “My mom was the best. She loved us so much. I miss her so much.”
“I know.” Ruth slipped her arm around Jason’s shoulders and pulled him close. “It’s not the same, but there are people who want to love you, and look after you.”
“But not forever.” He sighed, a shuddering breath passing through him. “When our neighbor called social services, and we went to a foster home, we had to leave everything behind. All our toys, all our mom’s things, all our memories. Why didn’t Dad stop that from happening?”
“I don’t know.” Ruth looked out into the trees, watching the birds as they gathered food for their young. “And I’m sorry it happened to you.”
“I like it here.” Jason relaxed into her arms.
“So do I.” Ruth and Jason sat together, until Jenny came and joined them.
“Michael said we have to light the pizza oven and then we all get to cook our pizzas.” Her face looked flushed with excitement, but it soon slipped away when she saw Jason.
“We were just talking,” Ruth said, getting up and pulling Jason to his feet. “Now, we need to eat.”
“It’s going to be delicious,” Jenny said, taking her brother’s hand. “You can cook yours first, Jason.”
“You can if you want,” Jason offered.
“No, I can wait.” Jenny pulled him back inside, where Michael was waiting with the pizzas all ready to take outside.
“Let’s take them out to the oven and use the pizza paddle to put them inside. When we get them out they’re going to be hot, so you have to wait for them to cool.” Michael looked at Jenny and Jason. “Understand? I don’t want you to burn yourselves.”
“We can do it.” Jason’s confidence shone through.
“I believe you and Jenny can do anything.” Ruth caught Michael’s eye. “But we are here to help.” Ruth wrapped her arms around the two children. “That’s what we’re here for. You aren’t alone anymore.” Jason smiled, a soft, shy smile, and then nodded.
Michael instructed Jason and Jenny on how to build a fire in the pizza oven. When they lit it, they took turns to blow on the kindling, making it spark into life. “Now we have to wait for it to get hot enough.”
“What do we do while we wait?” Jason asked, eying up the building Michael used as a workshop. The doors were open and the lathe stood invitingly in a patch of sunlight.
“You boys go and play, and Jenny and I will wait for the oven to warm up. Unless you want to go, too. Girls can do anything boys can do.” Ruth arched an eyebrow, daring the two males to deny it.
“Want to come, too, Jenny?” Jason asked.
Jenny shook her head. “No, I want to stay with Ruth.” She watched Jason and Michael walk away.
“Are you sure?” Ruth asked.
“Yes. Jason does everything he can to help me. He should do something just for himself. Don’t you think?” Jenny turned her clear blue eyes on Ruth.
“I think you are a very wise young lady. Who probably looks after Jason as much as he looks after you.” Ruth patted the seat next to her. “Do you want to talk about anything? I know I’m your teacher, but I’m a very good listener, and whatever you say will stay between us girls.”
“Why aren’t you a mom?” Jenny’s question hit Ruth sideways.
“I never met the right man.” That was too simple an explanation. “After taking care of my brothers and sisters, I then went to college and trained as a teacher. I didn’t really date, not seriously. Because I wanted to do something for me.”
Jenny sat and thought about Ruth’s answer. “But now that you’ve met Michael, will you have children?”
“I’m a little too old.” Ruth looked down at her hands. Was she too old? Eli
zabeth must be near to Ruth’s age, and she’d had a baby.
“If you weren’t too old?” Jenny asked, coming to sit next to Ruth.
“I don’t know.” Ruth decided honesty was the only way to answer Jenny’s questions. “It’s not something I thought about. Not for a long time.” She smiled down at Jenny’s expectant face. “You have to remember I only met Michael a couple of days ago at the Renaissance Faire.”
“That was the day you met?” Jenny asked in awe. “Did you really know that Michael was your mate?”
“Me? No.” Ruth shook her head quickly. “I had no idea. I still don’t. I’m not a shifter.”
“Oh.” Jenny leaned forward and sniffed Ruth. “I can tell.”
Ruth laughed. “Don’t go around sniffing everyone like that.”
“I won’t.” Jenny gazed at the fire which had died down to glowing embers. “If you couldn’t have children of your own…would you and Michael adopt? Perhaps two older children.” She didn’t meet Ruth’s eyes, just stared at the embers, her mouth pressed into a thin line.
“I don’t know, Jenny. It’s not just up to me.” Ruth hugged the girl close. “Michael and I don’t know each other. I don’t know what he likes, and he doesn’t know what I like. I don’t even know if he likes sugar in his coffee.”
Jenny nodded. “Shall I go get the boys?”
“Yes, you go get the boys.” Ruth caught hold of Jenny’s hand as she went to run off. “Remember what I said, girls can do everything boys can do, and boys can do whatever girls can do. Next time, if you want to make something in the workshop, go and do it.”
“I will.” Jenny came back to Ruth. “But I like it here with you. You remind me of my mom.” Jenny sniffed Ruth again. “Rose and vanilla.” Then she ran off to the workshop, yelling for her brother.
Ruth struggled for breath, as if someone was sitting on her chest. Did she want children? Did she want to adopt if she couldn’t have a child of her own?
And even if she could, was there room in her life, room in her heart for Jason and Jenny?
Ruth knew the answer, but was she strong enough to admit it, and brave enough to act?
Chapter Ten – Michael
“The pizza oven is ready!” Jenny called excitedly as she reached the workshop, where her brother was concentrating hard on making a sword. They had rounded off the wood, and now he was shaping the hilt. Michael had needed some ingenuity to get Jason to the right height so that he could shape the wood and also reach the pedal.
“Do you like it?” Jason asked, the intense concentration on his face slipping as he turned to his sister.
“Yes.” As the wood stopped spinning, Jenny reached out and touched the smooth surface.
“Michael said I can carve the hilt and the pommel. As long as I’m sensible.” Jason grew an inch while he spoke.
“Can I help, too?” Jenny asked.
“When you come for another visit, we can all whittle wood. It’ll be good practice before you attempt to carve the pommel.” Michael put away the tools. “Let’s go and cook our pizza.”
“Can I whittle a wand?” Jenny asked. “I want to be a wizard.”
“Sure, if that’s what you want to make.” Michael walked in the middle, with the two children on either side. “Jason, let’s slide your pizza in.” Michael ducked down and looked inside the oven. “We might even be able to get two in there.”
“I’m starving.” Jason rubbed his tummy to emphasize his hunger.
“Right, here, use this to push the pizza in, and then we’ll see if we can get Jenny’s next to it.” That’s it, like that, and give it a shove to pull the paddle free.”
“Yes!” Jason’s face lit up as his pizza cooked in the oven. “Is there room for Jenny’s?”
“I think so. Are you going to give it a try, Jenny?” Michael asked and guided her forward, holding the pizza paddle with one hand while she held it with two.
“I did it.” Jenny stood next to Jason as they watched their pizzas cook. “How long will it take to cook?”
“Not long, you can go play and I’ll call you when it’s ready.” The two children ran off, leaving Michael alone with Ruth.
“They look so happy.” Ruth waited for Michael to sit down next to her on the swing seat and then settled into his arms.
“They’re a good couple of kids.” Michael inhaled Ruth’s scent.
“Jenny asked if I was going to have kids.” Ruth’s heart rate increased and her breathing came heavier. She was nervous, but what about? Was she scared he’d say no to having children?
“And what did you say?” Michael asked.
“That I’m old. Probably too old.” She sat up and looked at him. “Does that make a difference to us?”
“As mates, no.” He shook his head emphatically and took hold of her hand, their fingers entwining. “We’re locked together for the rest of our lives and beyond.”
“Just like that. No matter what each of us wants.” Ruth studied Michael.
“Ruth, my beautiful Ruth.” He stroked her face. “Do I wish we’d met sooner, and had children of our own? Of course I do. Does that change the way I feel about you? Hell no!”
Her mouth cracked into a smile. “What about adopting?”
Michael looked over her shoulder to where Jason and Jenny were chasing each other around a tree. “I know two children who would make our family complete.”
Ruth half turned as Jason caught Jenny, who screeched wildly, startling the birds. “Me, too.” She turned back to face Michael. “But we have to be sure. About us. About our lives together. And more importantly whether there is a good chance we will be allowed to adopt before we mention it to either Jason or Jenny.”
“I agree completely. I suggest we arrange to talk to Dean and Elizabeth, and then make an appointment to talk to their social worker to get the process started.” Michael got up and checked the pizzas.
“To find out if they are eligible for adoption?” Ruth asked.
“Yes, their dad is still alive. Which means they may be only temporarily in foster care.” Michael put his hands to his mouth and shouted, “Jason, Jenny, pizza.”
With a whoop, they raced back to the cabin. Before they reached Michael, Ruth said, “Fiona is their social worker.”
“That old dragon. I’ll make an appointment. But I’d like to talk to Dean and Elizabeth first. If they are on our side, it should all go a lot smoother.”
“Is it ready?” Jenny asked.
“It is. Come on, let’s get these out.” Michael helped the two kids retrieve their pizzas from the hot belly of the pizza oven. “Afterward, we’ll walk through the trees down to the stream, that’s where we might see the deer.”
“Might see the deer? So they might not be there?” Jenny asked in disappointment as she blew on her pizza to cool it.
“We might not,” Michael replied. “But I have a secret weapon.”
Ruth laughed, watching as he placed their pizza in the oven and closed the doors. “And what is that?”
“A surprise.” Michael tapped the side of his nose.
“What?” Jason asked excitedly, taking the first bite of his pizza. His eyes rolled up in his head. “This is good.”
“Best pizza ever!” Jenny called, then her eyes widened. “Is that your secret? Do the deer like pizza?”
“No, at least, I’ve never tried feeding them pizza.” Michael joined Ruth on the swing seat while the children sat on the porch steps.
“Are they real deer?” Jason asked thoughtfully. “Or shifters? If they were shifters, they might like pizza,”
“But they’re not getting any of mine.” Jenny laughed and covered her plate up with her hands.
“Or mine!” Jason did the same.
“Looks as if you are going without pizza, Michael, since the deer are not having mine either.” Ruth laughed as Michael shook his head in despair.
“It’s not pizza.”
“So what is it?” Ruth asked. “Tell us your secrets.” She
poked him in the ribs.
“Nope,” Michael replied, laughing as Ruth tickled him.
“But Ruth is your mate, you have to tell her everything,” Jenny pointed out.
“We’ve got you there, Michael.” Ruth arched her eyebrows.
“Still not telling.” Michael laughed and pretended to zip his lips shut.
An hour later, Ruth, Jenny and Jason were squeezed into a tree stand blind, which was like a small treehouse, looking down on Michael, who was spreading his secret deer treats on the ground. He could almost feel their eyes boring into him, or more precisely, into his secret deer treats.
He smiled to himself, the children’s excitement and enthusiasm made him feel young again. Michael dug his hand into the box containing his special deer treats and spread them over the ground. The deer usually came this way in the evening to drink at the stream. Over time, Michael had encouraged them to establish a feeding routine by spreading the treats out at the same time each day.
Dusting his hands off, he walked backward, away from the stream, watching for his evening visitors to arrive. He hoped they weren’t late, since the children had to be home in half an hour. A stirring in the undergrowth, twenty feet away, informed Michael he was going to hold on to his lucky bear name.
Turning, he swiftly climbed the steps and squeezed inside the tree stand, lifting Jenny so she could see properly. “They’re coming.”
All four faces looked out of the open window of the blind, staring into the gathering twilight, wanting to be the first to see the deer. “There.” Jason pointed, his voice barely a whisper as the shadows moved, and a deer trotted forward, head down, eating the treats. Soon another deer joined the first, and then another.
The children stood patiently and watched, neither of them speaking in case they frightened the deer away. Michael often spent an hour up here, high above the world watching the deer and the other night life that tracked across the forest. Foxes and badgers, owls swooping down from the trees, all creatures who made the forest their home.
Was it possible the three people next to him would also make the forest their home? Or at least make the cabin he’d built for himself into their home? He could extend it, make room for a family.
Silverbacks and Second Chances Page 18