Chapter twenty-six
Espressivo
“I hope you will enjoy this, Luke, seeing my program lose a terrific artist,” Thomas glared at the other administrator. “I hope you’re happy. After all these years, you finally got what you wanted. Every one of the Data Venia members are miserable tonight for one reason or another and it’s partially your fault.”
“I did what I thought was right.”
“No. You acted because you have some stupid competition with yourself on who can be the bigger jerk, you or you. Don’t even try to play this off like it was for the better good because it was selfish and you know it. Percival and Kallison are two of the most talented pianists I have ever had the pleasure of hearing. I don’t know if Kalli can do without Percy so I hope for your sake that the board rules in my favor because losing them both might just make me turn in my resignation.”
“Don’t be dramatic.”
“Just warning you so you know what’s coming.”
Kalli regulated her breaths and stretched her hands, and then they were taken from her and given kisses. “Calm down, gorgeous. You’ll be great,” It was like Percy had never had stage fright. She took her hands out of his. It had been so difficult to keep him at bay since they got back from France. He had been so kind until after the funeral. He gave her time to mourn. But he never gave her time to think.
“I can’t, Percy.”
“Sure you can. Breathe in and out.”
“No, not that, the performance will be what it will be. I mean, I can’t do this. If I continue with you forever, I will never know if I’m with you because it’s right for me or because of my guilt over Dragen. I will never know if I even would have been with him had he not passed away. May he rest in peace.”
“Are you saying…that you don’t want to be with me?”
“I’m saying I don’t know,” He looked like a puppy that had been kicked. “Percy--“
“Miss Hardford? You’re up. The stage is yours.”
She nodded and looked back at him. “Percy…”
“Break a leg, Kalli. Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you get back. We’ll talk then,” His words claimed he was fine, but the prideful wall over his eyes said differently.
Kalli found herself glad that she had practiced so much and she could use her energy to suppress her mind from wondering.
Percy and Kalli decided to take a small break from being a couple so that Kalli could figure herself out. Percy tried his best to be a gentleman but grew uneasy over the weeks that past.
“Well done,” he said to her one day at lunch.
“Pardon?”
“You beat me. I figured you would have heard by now. They posted the results from the final performance. You got number one and I followed by exactly one point. Well done.”
“Did I really? Thank you, Percy, for telling me. And if I may say you were a worthy opponent.”
He crossed his arms. “I had better be. Because you and me, Hardford. We are going head to head for the next four years. I talked to Mr. L. He was trying to scare us. I was right. We’re both coming back, assuming you will.”
“If I can,” she still couldn’t tell how she felt and wasn’t over her guilt from losing Dragen yet. She couldn’t shake him.
“Can I help you, Luke?” Mr. Allen looked up from his food. “You aren’t normally one to strut about the student’s cafeteria in the middle of the afternoon on the wrong side of campus, so I can only assume you wish to speak with me.”
“I…I owe you an apology, Thomas. Especially after the way I treated you at our last meeting.”
“Yes, yes you do. But might I ask what set it off?”
“I saw your star pupils perform at the…the…”
“Exhibition?”
“Yes! That’s the word! And, though I have no ear for music, they were brilliant.”
Thomas rubbed his chin. “Yes, yes they were. Though, you are preaching to the choir. Who you should really tell are those kids. They work very hard.”
“I can see the progress. So, I’m sorry for acting like a jealous sod.”
Thomas laughed. “You are forgiven, old friend. And, it doesn’t really affect me, but I know those kids would appreciate you congratulating them on their performance.”
“I’ll keep that in mind if I get the chance.”
“Good man.”
A knock on the dorm door resonated on the empty walls. Kalli opened it. “Masashi, I didn’t expect you. I’m afraid Lupe has already left for the airport.”
“I know, I saw her off. I came to speak to you,” Her brows furrowed. “Don’t worry. You’re not in trouble. I came to hopefully clear your mind and help you. I promised I wouldn’t but, I must get involved,” she nodded and opened the door wider so he could come into the nearly empty room. “Where do you plan to go?” She couldn’t look at him. “Kalli, answer me.”
“I don’t know,” She looked up at him, defiance in her eyes. It didn’t last long, it gave into fear and she looked away. “You said you came to clear my mind, Masashi. So please, have at it.”
“He would want you to be happy. He told me this would happen in his letter. And I imagine he told you to move on in some way,” She nodded. “Then why haven’t you?”
“Because I can’t stand it, this not knowing if we would have been together had he stayed. Had I asked him to stay….” She trailed off. “Oh!” Her hand went to her face and her body shook and convulsed as she sobbed. Masashi wrapped his arms around her.
“He had to go. You know he had to go and yet you torture yourself and others because of what might have been?” Masashi asked. “Tell me, Kalli, do you deserve this? Does he deserve this? Does Percy deserve this?” He pulled her chin up so she had to look at him. “Respect Dragen’s final wishes and be happy. I don’t know if that’s with Percy or not, but you can’t just leave the man hanging. You seem to think that if you cut yourself off as you always do when you are upset. You think you are only hurting yourself. But, my dear, I hate to tell you that it is quite different.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be selfish.”
“I know, which is why I tell you this now. Percy has not yet left for the airport. I don’t know if that affects your decisions,” Masashi hugged her. “Be safe, Kalli. Call if you need me. Please call. You are welcome to stay in Japan should you need a place. And you won’t be the only one, Lupe plans to only stay in Spain until her orders are in place then she is moving in with me and my family. So let me know and I’ll book the plane.”
“Thank you, Masashi.”
Kalli finished packing, putting her dress from the beginning of the year on a hanger. She wasn’t willing to wrinkle it until she had an idea of where she was going. Despite the one time she wore it being a relatively miserable night, she loved that dress and everything it meant to her.
Another knock came to the door. “Goodness I’m popular today,” She opened the door and there he was, smiling like always, like he had never been wounded. Such a gift he had.
“Good morning.”
“Hey, Percy. Come on in,” He nodded and ducked through the doorway. He must have grown three inches over the year.
“Well, I actually just came to say goodbye. I’m leaving for the airport in about an hour,” He put his hands in his back pockets, a habit he picked up from Sasha and Demitri for when he was uncomfortable. Kalli wasn’t really sure what to respond to that. He was headed home to his mother in France and that was it.
“Say hi to your mom for me.”
He nodded. “I will,” He rocked back and forth on his heels. “So…”
“So…Lupe is moving in with Masashi.”
“Oh? Well that’s nice. I bet they’ll like that. Getting to spend time together and such,” He trailed off. “Well, anyway, I’ll catch you around, Kalli Hardford.”
“Wait, Percy.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry. For everything.”
He shook his head. “Nothing to be sorry for, sweethe
art,” A slight bit of softness came back into his eyes. “How are you?”
She laughed. “You are too good to me. I’m alright. Masashi helped me see some sense this morning.”
“I know. He told me about it,” He said. “You know, I thought you would have told me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“All you had to do was ask. I think you know I wouldn’t deny you,” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“And I think you know I couldn’t ask that of you,” She said. She didn’t want to be a pest and ask to stay with him over the summer.
“You’re right,” He said. She nodded as a thank you. “So, how about it?”
“How about what?” She questioned. He narrowed his gaze. “Percy, I’ll figure it out. I’ll be fine.”
He took her hand. “Come stay with me and my mother for the summer while you figure it out. Let me ensure that you will be fine.”
“On one condition.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Might I have a second chance at your heart? Might we take time to really get to know each other?”
“Gladly given,” He smiled at her and picked up her bag. “Come on, In-A-Hurry. We have a bus to catch.”
***
A Common Language Page 26