by Penelope Sky
What the fuck was happening to me?
Refusing to let her sleep with me was my pathetic attempt to get some dignity back. Also to avoid the questions she might launch at me.
I knew I didn’t love her.
But I’d never felt this way about a woman.
It seemed like I would always want her, regardless of what she did to me.
In other words, I was a goddamn pussy.
I hated myself.
I worked out early in the morning and headed to work so I wouldn’t have to see her. I didn’t have a meeting until after lunch, so I sat in my office and looked through emails to entertain myself.
My mother called me, so I answered. “Hey, Mother.”
“Hey, honey. How are you?” She spoke with a deep and refined voice, like an old-fashioned movie star. Even at her lowest point, she was still classy. She would come home from the cannery and mask her pain with a smile so my brother and I wouldn’t pity her.
“Well. You?”
“I haven’t heard from you in a long time. Been busy?”
I hadn’t spoken to her since I’d met Siena. That was more than six weeks ago. Keeping in touch with my mother had fallen off my list of priorities once I had a serious woman in my life. “You know how it is. It’s one thing after another.”
“That’s too bad. I was hoping you were busy with a woman—or a man. Just someone.”
My mother never asked me about my personal life. She respected my privacy. But apparently something had changed her mind about that. “No. Just work.”
“Well, you shouldn’t work too much. Life will pass you by so quickly, and you’ll have nothing to show for it.”
“I don’t think a twelve-billion-dollar company is considered nothing.” I didn’t appreciate being challenged, not even by my mother. If she were somebody else, they’d receive a much harsher response.
“Of course not. But you can’t line your coffin with cash and take it with you.”
This argument was going nowhere. “Let’s get dinner this week. We’ll go to your favorite place.” If the purpose of this phone call was to make me feel guilty for not calling, it worked. “I’ll let Bates know.”
“Oh, that sounds nice,” she said cheerfully. “Let me know the place and time.”
“And, Mother? That asshole hasn’t bothered you, right?” My men reported no signs of him, but I wanted to make sure.
“No, honey. Not at all.”
I got off the phone with her, and Bates walked in fifteen minutes later.
“You’re at work early.” He fell into the leather armchair facing my desk.
“Since I’m always working, I’m neither early nor late.”
“I figured you would need to sleep longer after the night you had.” He grinned wide. “My night was pretty fantastic. Maybe tonight I’ll do a replay.”
I changed the subject before Bates could ask me the details. I couldn’t lie to him, and the truth would just piss him off. That would start a whole argument, and I was tired of talking about Siena. “Mother just called me. We’re having dinner with her this week.”
“I haven’t talked to her in a while, not that she cares. You’re her favorite. I’m sure she was pissed when she didn’t hear from you over the past six weeks.”
I raised an eyebrow. “How do you know I haven’t talked to her in six weeks?”
His smile slowly faded. “She mentioned it.”
“You just said you haven’t talked to her in a while.”
“Yeah, two weeks. That’s a while.” He rubbed his palm across his chin and touched his beard. “She mentioned you hadn’t called her. Bitched about it. We all know you’re her favorite, but it would be nice if she tried to hide it a little bit.” He rolled his eyes and brushed it off like he didn’t care, but we both knew he did.
I didn’t deny it because it was true. I’d always been Mother’s favorite, ever since we were young. As we aged, that became more apparent. Now that we were adults, she had a distinctly different relationship with each of us. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was the oldest or I was the quietest, but she bonded with me better. “She asked me if I was busy with a woman.”
Bates said nothing in response.
“Did you tell her about Siena?”
My brother wouldn’t lie, so he squirmed in silence until he spat out the truth. “I may have mentioned you’d been spending time with someone…”
“And why would you do that?”
“Because you’d been seeing her for a while. I just said it in passing. I didn’t tell her anything serious was going on.”
“You never mention my private life to her in passing. You know she’ll hold on to that.”
He shrugged. “She asked if you were busy, and I told her the truth, alright? Chill.”
I’d shut down the discussion with my mother, so I guess it didn’t matter anymore.
“Besides, you’ll have to tell her you’re having a baby. So it’s gonna come up either way.”
I hadn’t even thought of that. I’d never planned on telling her. When the tabloids found out about it, I guess that’s how I expected her to learn the news—even though that was cold. “Fuck…”
“You are going to tell her, right?”
I rubbed my temple with my fingers as I silently cursed Siena. This pregnancy ruined my life. If this baby weren’t on the way, I would have eliminated Siena from my life, and I wouldn’t have to tell my mother I was having a kid…and then explain to her that I knocked someone up. It wouldn’t be a fun conversation. She would want to meet Siena, and that would be a nightmare in itself.
Bates cocked his head to the side. “You’re gonna wait until the kid is born or what? Then have the baby tell her on its own?”
“Shut up, Bates.”
“You want this kid so bad, why are you pussyfooting around?”
“I don’t want this so bad,” I snapped. “But it’s my child, and I take responsibility for that. Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.”
“You could make it all go away. There’s still time. No one knows besides the three of us.”
I could never do it. “No.”
“You’re the cruelest man I know. You can’t blow her brains out?”
“No.” I couldn’t hurt someone with Marino blood. I couldn’t be the same piece of shit my father was. “And stop asking.”
“Fine. Then you need to tell Mother.”
“I’d rather not.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “You’re just not gonna tell her?”
“I’ll wait until we hit the second trimester. No point in telling her until I know there’re no complications with the baby.”
“Well, how long has she been pregnant?”
“No idea.”
“Maybe you should find out.”
I’d been meaning to take her to the doctor anyway. We needed to start her vitamins and whatever other bullshit came along with it. “I will. So how about dinner on Thursday? Are you free?”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to her whether I’m there or not.”
“I may be her favorite, but it’s not like she hates you, Bates.”
“Still gets old. She could at least show some class and hide it.”
“You’re a grown man,” I countered. “You shouldn’t care.”
“You would care.”
“I really wouldn’t, Bates.”
He wore a black suit with a matching tie, and his ankle rested on the opposite knee. His dress shoes were shiny like they were brand-new. “So what happened last night? Did Siena see you?”
“Yes,” I said truthfully. “She did.”
He grinned. “Must have pissed her off.”
“Yes.”
“Good. That dumb cunt needed to know you aren’t wrapped around her finger.”
No, I was just deep in her pussy.
“So, how were they?”
I rose from my desk and brushed off the question. “Let’s get to the conference room and start the me
eting early. I have somewhere to be afterward.”
Thankfully, he rose to his feet and didn’t argue with me. “I’m always in the mood to make money.”
I walked to her bedroom and let myself inside, half expecting to see her touching herself again.
Unfortunately, she was on the couch in her living room, fully clothed.
We hadn’t spoken in days, not since that threesome in my bedroom. I avoided her, and she wasn’t stupid enough to knock on my bedroom door late at night.
Today, her hair was curled and pulled over one shoulder. Her makeup was done, and she wore a blue sundress that showed off her cleavage and her long legs. Summer was over, and we only had a few weeks left until the real chill of fall arrived. She was enjoying every moment of warmth we had left.
I approached the couch with my hands in the pockets of my jeans. “I’m taking you to a doctor’s appointment.” When I locked eyes with her, it was impossible not to think about the last time we were together. The second my cock was inside her unbelievable pussy, I was lost. I hadn’t wanted to pull on a rubber and fuck someone else, not when she had the best cunt in the entire world. Coupled with her kisses and sexy moans, I knew there was nothing I could do to resist. I ordered the other woman out of my bedroom because I didn’t want to share myself. All I wanted was the woman underneath me.
She seemed to be thinking about it too, judging by the desire in her eyes. It was the same look she gave me before she kissed me, before she ran her fingers through my short hair. “Right now?”
“Yes. Let’s go.”
She rose to her feet, wearing the blue dress with sandals.
She looked phenomenal.
Before I did something stupid like drop my pants, I left the bedroom and headed to the car outside.
She followed me and got into the back seat beside me.
Now there was nowhere to run. We had twenty minutes until we arrived at the doctor. A lot could happen in twenty minutes.
We headed to the main road and approached Florence, the center divider up in the car so my driver couldn’t see me or make small talk.
I hated small talk.
“What are we going to do today?” she asked as she looked out the window.
“Routine checkup. He’s the best obstetrician in the area.”
“I’m sure he’s fine. I wonder if we’ll get a sonogram.”
“No idea.” I didn’t know what to expect. We could be in and out of there in fifteen minutes.
She rested her hand on her stomach, which didn’t look any different. She showed no signs of pregnancy, other than her bouts of morning sickness. “I don’t feel any different. Not yet at least.”
Maybe she wouldn’t talk about what happened the other night. That would be ideal. My feelings toward her were still pretty clear. I wouldn’t be sleeping with anyone else, but that didn’t make me hers. I would never be hers.
She turned her gaze from the window and looked at me.
I met her look, staring into those green eyes just the way I did when I fucked her. Something about their color drew me in. Everything about her features captured my fascination. She was undeniably the most beautiful woman I’d ever been with. When she stormed into my bedroom naked and fought for me…I nearly exploded. She claimed me in the middle of a threesome and turned it into a twosome. Only a truly confident woman could pull that off.
“I want to suck you off before we get there.” She said it without missing a beat, like sucking my dick in the back seat of the car would give her no greater pleasure.
My cock immediately swelled to full size and pressed against the front of my jeans. I’d expected her to say a million other things, but not that. This woman was obsessed with sucking my cock. She’d been that way since the first night she looked at my package. Maybe that was just a technique to get under my skin, but if it was, it was definitely working.
I gave her my answer by pushing down my jeans and boxers. “Get to work.”
After the doctor gave his examination, he conducted an ultrasound of her belly. It didn’t take him long to find the baby inside her, and within minutes, he displayed the picture on the screen—along with the heartbeat.
Siena lay on the table with her belly exposed. Absolutely still, she stared at the black-and-white image of the baby growing inside her. The heartbeat was strong and regular, but the other features couldn’t be determined. The baby was just too small.
I stood beside her and stared at the monitor, my heart beating much faster than my child’s.
Fuck. I was going to be a father.
The doctor excused himself to give us privacy.
We both kept staring at the image of the little person growing inside her, the tiny person we’d made together.
Siena’s eyes watered, and then tears streaked down her cheeks like two small waterfalls.
I still couldn’t believe this was real. My son or daughter was inside her, alive and well.
She cried quietly to herself, her pristine makeup turning into muddy rivers. “So beautiful…”
I wondered if she cried from happiness or sadness. She would never know this child, not a single day after it was born. She would give birth like an animal then be slaughtered. The only time she would ever really spend with her child was when she was pregnant. So perhaps that was why she was so emotional, because these were the only moments she would ever have.
She pulled the screen closer to her so she could get a better look. “I can’t believe what I’m seeing…”
I couldn’t either. That was my baby in there. I would raise someone entirely on my own.
“It’s a girl.”
My eyes moved to her face. “How do you know?”
“I just do,” she whispered. “I can’t explain it.”
I watched Siena with the same fascination as I’d just looked at my child. Her wet eyes reflected the fluorescent lights overhead, and even when she was in tears, her beauty couldn’t be diluted. “We’ll know in a few months.”
Siena had a copy of the sonogram, so she looked at it on the drive back to the house. Sometimes she brought it closer to her face so she could see the details better. Other times, she held it at a distance or turned it.
I watched her stare at our baby.
“Do you want a boy or a girl?”
“A boy,” I said immediately.
“Why?”
“Because a boy will grow into a man. And a man can take over my legacy when I’m dead.”
It was the first time she stopped looking at the picture in her hand and turned to me. “You’re joking, right?”
“A woman couldn’t do what I do. It’s not just about running a business, but keeping the underworld under strict control.”
Her eyebrows rose high on her face. “That’s the most sexist thing I’ve ever heard.”
“I’m not sexist. A woman could run an ordinary bank. But she couldn’t intimidate the Skull Kings, the mob, and all the other assholes out there. They would walk all over her. They would mislead her, and raping her would be their ultimate achievement. That’s the last thing I would want for my daughter. I would never let the business fall into her hands.”
“I don’t want our son or daughter to have anything to do with your line of business, but I still think that was an asshole thing to say.”
“After your mother and father were killed, I’m surprised you would have the stupidity to disagree with me. You’ve always detested your family business and craved a simple life. It’s the exact thing you don’t want.”
“For a son or a daughter,” she hissed. “It has nothing to do with the gender.”
I looked out the window and ignored her, knowing she was being argumentative just for the sake of it. On the ride to the doctor, I got a great blow job, but now we argued like an old married couple. “Just look at the picture and shut up.”
She moved across the seat and slapped me across the face. “Don’t tell me to shut up.”
I snatched her wrist and yanked
it down, showing her that I outmatched her strength fifty times over. “You think I won’t punch you in the face as hard as my brother did?” I squeezed her wrist hard, watching her slowly fight the discomfort until she started to cringe. “I will, Siena. I’ll give you another black eye.” I released her arm.
She didn’t massage it or whimper. “No. I don’t think you’ll do that.”
“You really want to try me and find out?” With wide eyes, I challenged her, tested how stupid she was.
“Alright.” She slapped me again.
I turned with the hit and felt my cheek immediately become inflamed. No woman in my life had slapped me as much as this one. It had to have been at least a dozen times. Sometimes I liked it, and sometimes it pissed me off.
I turned back to her, my eyes burning with fire.
She challenged me with her stern look. “You won’t do it.”
My hand shot out, and I gripped her by the neck. Then I squeezed.
She didn’t fight it. “You won’t hurt me.”
“I can hurt you without hurting the baby.” I squeezed her hard until she could barely breathe.
“That’s not why—and you know it.” Her words came out weak because her lungs didn’t have enough air for her to speak. Her hand gripped my wrist, but she didn’t try to fight for her freedom. She just held my gaze, keeping her pride despite her vulnerability.
I squeezed her until she couldn’t breathe.
Instead of pushing me off, she grabbed my shoulder and pulled me toward her, her lips aimed for mine. Then she kissed me, kissed me the best she could while suffocating.
My anger vanished when our lips touched, so my hand slackened against her throat. I made up for the savage way I had gripped her earlier by sliding my hand into her soft mane of hair. I fingered her strands as I brought her closer to me and kissed her harder.
She shifted onto my lap with her dress pulled up. Her hand slipped into the back of my hair, and she kissed me softly, taking her time like there was no reason to rush it. She kissed the corner of my mouth then trailed her lips to my neck. She kissed me everywhere, her hand moving under my shirt to feel my abs. Her lips pressed against my ear. “You would never hurt me.”