by Penelope Sky
If that was the case, I was still sad.
I got what I wanted, but I wondered if this was actually what I wanted after all.
The next morning, I washed our clothes by hand then took them outside to hang up. We had a string of rope that extended between two poles, and that’s where I hung our clothes to dry. It was old-fashioned and took forever, but it was calming at the same time.
The clothes flapped in the breeze as they hung from the rope. I stepped to the side and clipped a towel to the rope as I looked at the main street a short distance away. People were walking up and down the sidewalk, and there was a man leaning against his car reading the morning paper. He looked up at me from time to time.
I kept pinning my clothes until I saw a shadow appear on the other side of the towel I’d just hung up. A silhouette of a man was visible through the material, with broad shoulders, long legs, and an impressive height.
I immediately thought of Cato.
Had he come for me?
If it was him, why did I feel this jolt of excitement? Shouldn’t I be scared?
I pulled back the towel and came face-to-face with my brother. I couldn’t fight the crestfallen feeling in my chest, the disappointment that it wasn’t the man I hadn’t stopped thinking about.
“Everything alright?” He had a tired look on his face, as if his weekend of hookups left him little time to sleep.
“Yeah…you just scared me.”
“You don’t need to worry about him. It’s been five weeks. If he hasn’t found us by now, he probably has no idea where to look.”
“Unless he never looked for us in the first place…” I was told Cato would find me if he really wanted to, that he had resources I couldn’t even dream of. But it wouldn’t have taken him this long if that was the case.
“What do you mean?” He pulled a piece of laundry from the basket and hung it up on the line.
“Maybe he didn’t bother. Maybe he thought it was the perfect excuse not to kill me…”
“Because if you aren’t around, then he doesn’t have to keep his word.”
“Yeah…” I grabbed another piece of laundry and hung it up.
“I doubt it. He was probably pissed that you left. He probably wanted revenge. He just couldn’t find you.”
“Maybe…”
Landon hung up another towel while keeping his eyes on me. “You miss him or something?”
“Would you judge me if I said yes?”
“Absolutely. This is what you wanted, Siena. I tried to persuade you to stay, but you wanted to leave. You got exactly what you wanted, and by some miracle, we actually got away with it. There’s no reason to be sad.”
“I can’t explain it…”
“Well, try,” he snapped.
When I reflected on our relationship, I missed that closeness. I’d never had a more passionate relationship with a man, someone who could just look into my eyes and make me melt. It wasn’t just the physical intimacy that I missed. I missed our emotional intimacy, the conversations we had. “We were close. We weren’t just two people who were sleeping together. We weren’t more than that either, but we were…together. He has a big heart and a beautiful soul, something he doesn’t show to anyone else but me. I know he could be a good man if he wanted to be. I miss that man. And I’ll always feel something for him because he’s the father of my child.”
“But he’s threatened to kill you—many times.”
“I don’t think he would.”
“You still left.”
“Because I wanted to give my child a better life. But now, I’m not so sure…”
He picked up the last towel from the basket and hung it up. “It doesn’t matter now. You can’t go back. You have no idea what his reaction would be. He might shoot you in the head on sight.”
My brother was right. I would probably be met with Cato’s fury.
“So you need to forget about him. This is your life now—our life.”
20
Cato
Six weeks came and went.
I sat in my office upstairs and looked at the pictures my guy had snapped for me. They were pictures of her hanging her clothes on the line to dry, pictures of her walking into the shops on the main street. In every image, she wasn’t looking at the camera, completely oblivious to the five men who watched her every move.
Even Landon didn’t notice.
That was concerning. It was a small town. It should be obvious those five men didn’t belong there.
I found myself smoking my cigar as I looked at her picture, seeing the noticeable bump of her stomach. It protruded past her waistline and made her shirts stretch tight against her body. It was another curve to that already curvy body.
I thought she’d never looked more beautiful.
Pregnancy suited her.
I hadn’t decided what to do about her. I’d watched from a distance, but I couldn’t discern her happiness. Was she glad she was gone? Or had she realized that her life with me was perfect and she’d taken it for granted? She hung up her clothes to dry because she didn’t even have a dryer. She lived in a tiny house that she shared with her brother. He was seen picking up women in Nice every weekend, while she stayed home alone.
She’d never been spotted with another man.
As long as she hadn’t slept with anyone, I wouldn’t either.
After six weeks of no sex, I started to feel angry all the time. I jerked off constantly, but it wasn’t the same as the real thing. But the idea of sleeping with a woman other than Siena felt wrong.
I didn’t owe her anything, especially not after she betrayed me, but it still felt wrong.
Because I knew I was going to drive down there and pick her up any day.
It was only a matter of time before I cracked.
I wondered if she missed me. I wondered what her reaction would be if I showed up on her doorstep. Would she scream in horror? Or would she step into my arms and kiss me? Would she cry and say she missed me?
Or was there a gun on the table, and she would pick it up and shoot me?
Just as I’d threatened to do to her.
I really had no idea.
But judging by these photographs, she was living a dull life. She didn’t have a job, and the only thing she did was walk down the market to gather food to cook meals for her and her brother. She busied herself taking care of the house and the laundry. She was basically a housewife in the 1800s.
No way she could be happy.
At least when she lived with me…she had me. I was there for her every night, and I was the father of her child. I provided everything she might need. I may slaughter people on the doorstep from time to time, but that wasn’t an everyday occurrence. It wasn’t the life she’d pictured, but it was the life she’d received nonetheless.
I had everything anyone could ever want—but now I felt like I had nothing at all.
The one thing that mattered to me was gone.
I wasn’t happy. In fact, I’d never been so miserable.
I had all the money in the world, but I was miserable.
Ironic.
21
Siena
Now that I was well past my first trimester, I needed a checkup at the doctor.
I used my brother’s phone to make a few calls to Nice so I could get in to be seen. It would be another two weeks before I could see an obstetrician. That was a while away, but I took the appointment anyway. Nothing abnormal had happened in my pregnancy, but I thought it was smart to make sure everything was okay.
“Landon?” I’d finished making lunch so we sat at the small table together.
“Yeah?” He was scrolling through his phone while he ate, texting one of the women he’d met recently.
“What are we going to do when the baby comes?”
“I thought they would sleep in your room?”
“No. I meant with the delivery. If I check in to a hospital, I’ll have to give my name. If Cato wants to take the baby, he’ll be che
cking for that everywhere.”
“I hadn’t thought about that…”
Now that I missed him, I didn’t care if he wanted to see the baby. But I was afraid he would take the baby away from me and leave me behind. That would be a worse fate than death.
“I guess you could give birth here. Women used to do it all the time.”
“And most women died in childbirth,” I countered. “That’s too risky.”
“Then I don’t know what the answer is. I could call a guy to prepare fake documents for you. That might be the only way around it.”
“Yeah…” I didn’t know what to name the baby. But I wanted them to have my last name. Even if I registered under a different name, Cato might scan the birth records. I also felt bad giving the baby my last name when they should have Cato’s. It seemed like I was denying my baby their birthright.
“We’ve got several months before we have to worry about that.” He finished his lunch and left the dishes in the sink. “I’m going to take a nap. Got a headache.”
“Alright.” I finished my lunch then washed the dishes in the sink. Then I washed the laundry before I carried it outside. It was supposed to rain in the next few days, so I knew I needed to do all the laundry now—unless we wanted our clothes to smell like rainwater.
I hung up Landon’s shirts and jeans then moved on to my clothing. I also had all our towels to get through. One by one, I hung them up, clipping them into place so the sunlight and breeze could dry them out.
Just when I was about to step back from the last towel, I saw the silhouette of a large man through it. With muscular shoulders, a foot of extra height on top of mine, and long legs, his outlined reminded me of Cato’s. I’d thought the same thing before when I saw Landon, but then I remembered my brother was inside the house.
I stood motionless as I stared at the towel, stared at how still the man was. He didn’t make a move or a sound.
My heart started to race, both with fear and painful relief. If Cato was on the other side, it would probably be bad news for me. But I couldn’t help but be excited that I was about to step into his arms and feel at home again. My eyes watered slightly, but I didn’t let any tears fall. Then the baby started to kick for the very first time.
My hand moved over my stomach and I felt it, the powerful kicks that my baby made. It was the first time I’d felt so much life in my stomach, so much excitement from the little child growing in me. Maybe my spiked heartrate excited them. Or maybe they knew their father was just inches away from me.
He pulled back the towel and stepped forward.
It was him.
In dark jeans, boots, and a long-sleeved shirt, he was the same powerful man I remembered. Muscular, strong, and brutish, he was threatening in every way—except the softness in his eyes.
The softness I used to see every single day.
His eyes shifted back and forth slightly as he looked at me, like he was memorizing the way I looked. His gaze slowly drifted to my stomach and where my hand rested, looking at how much my stomach had grown. He stared for a long time before he lifted his gaze again.
Silenced by his look, I didn’t speak. After all this time apart, I didn’t know what to say. His presence didn’t seem to be hostile, but without an introduction, I really didn’t know. “This is the first time I’ve ever felt the baby kick.” I grabbed his hand, feeling the hot thrill down my spine, and placed it over my stomach.
His eyes focused on my tummy, and when a soft smile spread across his lips, I knew he could feel it. He closed his eyes to focus on the movement even more. Then he placed his other hand against my belly and enjoyed it. “Beautiful.” His eyes lifted to mine, and he sighed quietly under his breath. He must have noticed the thin film of moisture in my eyes because his expression softened even more. “Baby, come home.” His hands moved over my belly to my waist as he stepped closer to me. “This isn’t where you two belong.”
I didn’t want to put up a fight at all. I didn’t want to fight for my rights or explain why I left in the first place. All I wanted was this man. I didn’t understand just how deeply I’d missed him until I felt him again. “I have one condition.”
He pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. “Alright.”
“You have to sleep with me every night. Because I can’t go another night without you.” I put my heart out there to be crushed, giving away my most private desires. I didn’t just want this man physically, I wanted all of him. I wanted him in a way I’d never had him before.
He rubbed his nose against mine. “Okay.”
I closed my eyes in relief when I got what I wanted—without an argument. Maybe I should ask him to spare my life, but considering his gentleness, he probably didn’t want to do away with me anymore anyway. “My brother is inside…please don’t hurt him.”
“I won’t.”
My heart softened again, turning into melted butter. “It took you a long time to find me.”
He pulled away so he could lock his gaze on to mine. “Baby, I always knew you were here.”
The house was way too small for Cato. The man was over six feet tall and could barely fit through the doorway. He crossed the threshold and examined the living room and kitchen, which were scrunched together into a single room. He didn’t give a false compliment, but he didn’t insult it either.
“Landon is taking a nap.”
“The countryside has made him lazy.”
I stared at him awkwardly, unable to believe he was there. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“A beer is fine.”
I grabbed a bottle out of the fridge and carried it back to the table. Cato sat on the wooden chair, but his weight seemed like it might be too much for the old chair. He relaxed and took a drink.
I sat across from him, looking at the blue eyes that were always the focus of my dreams. Whether they were sex dreams or just dreams of us talking, they were always present. Beautiful like the sea, they were his most gorgeous feature.
“I’ll wait here while you pack your things.”
“We’re leaving right now?” I asked in surprise.
“Why would we stay?”
“First, I should tell Landon. And second of all, I have a lot of stuff to take care of.”
Cato tried to hide his look of irritation, but he wasn’t doing a good job.
“My brother bought this place so we would have somewhere to live. I feel guilty for just taking off.”
“I’ll reimburse him for it.”
“That’s not what I meant… I’m sure he could sell it.”
“And I could be the buyer to speed up the process.”
“That won’t be necessary.” I’d never wanted his money. I didn’t want it then, and I didn’t want it now.
He set his beer on the table and he watched me, his eyes glued to mine. His shirt fit his sculpted shoulders nicely, along with his chiseled arms and powerful chest. I hated to think about all the women who had been under him since I’d been gone. I refused to ask, unable to hear the answer. “How are you?”
I could have given him a generic answer instead of a sincere one. But I chose the latter. “Lonely. Empty. Cold.” I lowered my gaze and looked at the table. “I thought this was the best thing for both of us, but I’ve never been so miserable. My life is the same lame activities on repeat. The heater in this house is even worse than my old one. Landon never complains, but I know he hates it too. I thought leaving would allow me to give a better life to my child…our child…but I realize there’s nothing for them here. And even if I moved, we would still be alone.” I lifted my gaze from the table to see his reaction.
It was exactly the same. “You left because you thought I couldn’t provide a good life for our child?” There wasn’t an edge to his tone, just general curiosity. His fingers wrapped around his bottle, but he didn’t take a drink.
“You executed five people in the driveway…the answer is obvious.”
“I wouldn’t do that in front of ou
r kid, Siena. Are you kidding me?”
“They would still hear the gunshots from their bedroom.”
“You need to give me more credit than that. You’re judging me on my ability to be a father before the kid is even here. No parent knows how to be a parent until the baby is born. And when that day comes, it always changes you. I don’t know how my life will be different when our kid is here—but I know it won’t be the same. So, no, I wouldn’t execute people anywhere near our kid.”
A weight lifted off my shoulders. “People will still try to hurt them all the time. They’ll be the number one target of your enemies.”
“Which is why I would give them the greatest amount of protection. I’m not stupid, Siena. I know what people will try to do to any child I father. I’m the most protective and paranoid man on the planet. I think about these things all the time.”
He’d talked me off the ledge once again.
“You should have talked to me about all of this before you ran away.”
“I feel like I can’t talk to you sometimes…”
He leaned forward. “Baby, you can always talk to me.”
“Like when I asked if my brother could come over, and then you whipped me?”
His eyes narrowed. “And then I said yes, and you plotted against me? My answer should have stayed no.” He took a drink from his beer. “Learned my lesson.”
“I just worry about our baby. I don’t know them, but I already love them so much. I just want to do the right thing for them. I don’t want them to grow up in the same situation I did. I don’t want them to be scarred by greed and corruption. All I’ve ever wanted was a simple life. Having you as a banker and a crime lord doesn’t fit into that category. I don’t want them to be exposed to that lifestyle. I just…I wanted better for them.”
Cato didn’t seem to take offense to that. He pushed the beer aside and rested his hands together on the surface. “There’s nothing I can do about that. That’s their legacy—and we can’t hide it from them either. The best thing we can do is teach them to be smart, grateful, and humble. That’s what parents are for, right?”