by Sean Michael
Simon was so good at this—survival, stewardship, simple life. He hoped the big boss was noticing. He sure was.
“But we’ve learned how to defeat nature already, right? That’s why we have cities.” Arthur continued to prove himself an asshole.
Todd could have replied. He could have said that they had cities to protect themselves from nature, and yet nature kept winning the odd fight anyway. Tornadoes and blizzards and hurricanes. And God forbid anyone get caught out in the woods without knowing how to stay out of the way of bears especially. He didn’t, though. These people were paying guests, so to speak. And he’d learned from past guiding jobs that they weren’t interested in learning anything different than what they already believed.
He glanced at Simon, giving him a can-you-believe-this-guy? look.
Simon actually rolled his eyes, playing with him. Teasing him. His balls felt heavy, needy. God, he still had it bad for Simon. The realization wasn’t that big of a surprise—he’d been comparing every date he had to Simon since they’d broken up.
“I think the skills are similar, though. You need to know when to push, when to say no, and when to work together.” The big boss sounded confident as hell.
“It should be great team building, yeah.” Or underline that a team wasn’t working well together, and possibly never would.
Simon settled with Smokey, hand in her ruff, loving on her.
Todd had a sudden desire to be the one getting petted. He tamped that down. This was going to be a long guide tour if he was already pining this badly.
Especially with Simon in his tent.
Simon right there.
And wanting him.
He could see that in those pretty pale eyes.
He stirred the stew. “Okay, guys. Supper is ready.” It would make a good distraction for him. He hoped.
Simon had loved this stew. Loved it.
Simon took a bowl, passed it down. “Smells good,” he whispered.
“It is good.” Meaty, peppery, with nice lumps of dumplings. It froze and warmed back up like a dream.
Soon as everyone had a bowl, Todd dug in.
Everyone ate, obviously hungry, even his Simon. No. Simon. Just Simon.
He buried his face in the stew, enjoying the flavor, the smell of it. Focusing on that. Just on that.
Simon excused himself fairly quickly after food, and Smokey went galumphing after. Traitor dog. Todd was glad Simon had someone to keep him company. Even if it was the dog.
“So what’s tonight’s entertainment?” Kix asked. “Anymore tall tales?”
“I might have a few I kept in my pocket.” He had a hundred more—he’d be able to regale them pretty much every night. He shifted slightly and all the others leaned in to listen.
5
Five days in and the others were all talking about going home.
Simon was going to stay, not with Todd of course, but up into the mountains where he could lose himself for a few days.
After this trip, he needed it.
Arthur was in full form, not even hiding that he was bullying. No one else seemed to notice, though, aside from Todd and Sam.
And while Sam offered him kindness quietly, both men had families to support.
Sam didn’t look great, to be honest, and Simon thought it was time to talk to Todd.
Todd had stew cooking on the campfire; it looked like it was almost done.
“Can we talk, please?” he asked. “I think Sam is hurting.”
“Yeah, he is. I tried talking to Kix today, wondering if he was planning on cutting the trip short. He didn’t take the hint.”
“Oh.” Dammit. “Okay. Thanks.”
What was he going to do? What could he do? He couldn’t lose his job for this.
“You want me to try again? Or we could talk to Sam—get him to speak up?”
He didn’t see how that would work—Sam wouldn’t want to say anything—he didn’t want to lose his job either.
“No one will but me, but we both know what has to happen. This isn’t safe.”
“I’ll cut the trip short for safety reasons.”
He nodded. “Sam’s gray, babe. He’s not getting stronger.”
“I’ll bring it up over supper. Which is about ready.” Todd cleared his throat. “Okay, everyone. Stew’s ready.”
He stayed near Todd, without even thinking.
“So Mr Middleton.”
“Kix.”
“Right. Kix. I think it’s time to call this adventure to an end. There’s an extraction point a couple klicks away and I’m going to call Bill in, get him to pick you up.”
“What? Why?”
“There’s a storm coming, sir.” That was the truth. Normally it wouldn’t matter to him or Todd, but it did as an excuse.
Todd gave him a grateful look for the backup. “It’s a matter of life and death—and it’s my job to make sure you guys make it out of here safely. Five days, though, yeah? You guys did great, honestly.”
Sam looked relieved, and he thought the others did, too, although they all complained.
“I know, I know. And I’m sorry. You guys did great, though. Hey, tonight you made fire all by yourselves. You’ve really accomplished something here.”
“If you’re sure…” Kix said. “I’d hate to freeze anyone to death.”
“I’ll be sending you certificates of accomplishment. Seriously—you guys got that fire going tonight without any help or advice from me. That was great. And yeah, I’d rather not freeze you all to death in a storm, either.”
Thank God Kix wasn’t fighting Todd on this. Simon didn’t want it to come down to them having to say that Sam needed to go home and the sooner the better, thus embarrassing the guy. He liked Sam the best out of all four of his coworkers.
Kix wasn’t bad at all. He was just a businessman, a boss, and a bit closed-minded. Arthur, though… even being bested out here wasn’t in the least bit humbling to the man. He was still a giant, intolerant asshole.
He wanted to just disappear for a week, hide up here. Where I belong. The trick was going to be staying off the helicopter. Kix might let it happen, but he didn’t know how Todd would react.
Of course, what did it matter?
The mountain wasn’t Todd’s, and Kix didn’t own him. He could go or stay as he would.
“You going back with them?” Todd asked.
“No.” He might have lied, but Todd surprised him with the question.
“Then we can hike out together. And no arguments. There really is a storm coming and you know it’s dangerous out here on your own.”
“Fair enough.”
Todd was shocked, but he wasn’t an asshole.
“We’ll do better together.”
“We will. You can even use me needing a second as your excuse for not going back with the guys.”
“Works for me.” He couldn’t imagine going back in the ’copter.
“We’ll broach it tomorrow as we put them on the helicopter—that way they won’t have time to argue.” Todd gave him a wink before moving to ladle out the stew.
He nodded, not sure exactly what had just happened, but knowing it made him happy.
The mood around the fire was more somber than it had been other nights, although Simon was happier, knowing he’d have some time away from these people, and he thought maybe Sam looked pleased too.
He sat next to Sam, head down. “Sorry, man.”
“No, I’m sorry. I’m ruining this for everyone.”
“You’re tired. There’s no shame in it.”
“I’m not built for this kind of thing,” Sam admitted.
“I understand.” More than Sam knew.
“You do? It seems like you were made for this. It all comes so naturally to you.” Sam was a little more animated now that they were talking.
“For this? I am. I wanted to be built for business boardrooms.”
“You do pretty well in that arena, too, from what I’ve seen. For a guy who isn�
�t an aggressive a-hole.” Sam glanced over in Arthur’s direction.
“Right? There seem to be a lot of those.” Tons.
“Too many.” They gave each other conspiratorial grins. “Can I give you some advice, Simon?”
“Me? Sure.”
“If you love him and this place, don’t let it be money that messes you up.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He looked around—had anyone else guessed?
“Sure. Okay. I’m just saying…”
“Thanks. I…thanks.” God. Oh God.
“Nobody knows and I won’t tell anyone.” Sam’s words were reassuring.
“Thank you. Really. You’re a good guy.”
“You are too.”
Smokey came up and licked his face before settling next to him.
“Hey, pretty girl. You want some stew?” Todd would fuss, but Simon didn’t care.
She was more than happy to lick out his bowl when he turned it toward her.
“You’re going to spoil her.” Todd was right on cue.
“Uh-huh.” He tried not to grin. He really did.
He swore he could hear Todd rolling his eyes and had to keep from chuckling. He wasn’t sure what was happening to him. Altitude? Frostbite to the brain?
Maybe he was just tired of hating his dream job after having given up so much for it.
“Okay, we have an early morning. Time to hit the sleeping bags.” Todd gathered up their bowls.
“You want me to scrub them out?” he asked.
“Sure, thanks. I’ll give the perimeter a last check.” Todd whistled to Smokey and she immediately went to his side.
He stuck his tongue out at Smokey, teasing her. She was a good girl.
He thought it was telling that even Arthur and Kix didn’t argue about bedding down early. Sam might be worst off, but he wasn’t the only one who was tired and ready to be going home. They all dispersed quickly to their tents, leaving him cleaning the dishes.
Thanks, assholes.
He had worked so hard to get that job, but… shit.
He’d just started banking the fire when Todd came back with Smokey. “Everything looks good. You ready to bed down?”
“Sure.” He packed the bowls away. Was he going to be able to do this? Days alone with Todd?
Todd followed him in, Smokey taking up her place between them, like a living wall.
He hadn’t made eye contact in the tent, until tonight.
“I wanted to thank you.”
Surprise flared in Todd’s eyes. “Thank me?”
“Yes. For helping with Sam. I appreciate it. And for asking if I was staying behind too.” He was shaking, his belly tight.
“Last thing I want is someone dying out here.” Todd spoke as quietly as he did, keeping the conversation between the two of them. “And I couldn’t see you getting on that helicopter with those guys. I just couldn’t.”
“No. No, I couldn’t either.”
Todd looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t, those blue eyes just staring at him in the dim light.
I miss you.
So much.
Maybe it was his imagination, but he swore he could read the same words in Todd’s eyes.
He just stared, shivering—not from the cold, not at all.
The fact that Smokey was between them was the only reason he didn’t rub up against Todd, his whole body—his whole being—yearning toward the man.
He just needed one thing—a touch, a word.
Todd seemed to be vibrating, and the tension mounted, becoming another presence in the little tent. Smokey must have felt it, too, because she whined.
He reached for her, petting her head. “Easy, baby doll.”
Todd sighed and relaxed, and the moment was over, gone.
It was okay. He got it. They weren’t a couple. They were two men heading back to base camp.
They were just guys.
Who’d been in love.
“Night,” murmured Todd.
“Night.” He pulled the sleeping bag up to cover his head. That way, if he moaned Todd’s name in his sleep, no one would hear.
6
Todd started the fire and got supper going while Simon put up the tent and patrolled the perimeter with Smokey. They’d gotten the guys on the ’copter around noon and then made tracks to get to a sheltered place to camp before the storm hit. It was still a couple hours out, and he planned for them to be bundled up in the tent before it hit.
He was half dreading being stuck in the tent for a day or two with Simon. Once upon a time, it would have been a joy, but they weren’t lovers anymore. The last week had been… hard. He’d wanted nothing more than to push Smokey out of the way and roll onto Simon, take a kiss. Take more than a kiss.
What was worse? He thought Simon wanted it.
He’d seen Simon getting stronger, and as soon as that helicopter left? The relaxation in Simon’s face made him beautiful. That was his Simon.
“Venison steaks tonight, with potatoes.” He gave Simon a grin. While the stew was delicious and hearty, this was a real treat.
“Yeah? Excellent. You ready for the storm? It looks harsh.” Simon didn’t sound scared.
“Yeah, we’re good.” He had plenty of food that didn’t need to be cooked and they had water. Hell, they’d just melt snow if the needed to.
“I have enough wood gathered and covered for a few days, and the tent is solid. We have cards?”
“Cards, dominos, and a little bitty cribbage board.” He’d been worried, when he’d first seen Simon was with this group, that it would be contentious between them, but it had proven to be anything but. The hardest thing was going to be continuing to keep his hands to himself.
“I do love cribbage. Still.” Simon grinned at him. “It is awful, to be excited?”
God, he loved that grin, the light in Simon’s face that had been missing the last week. “Nah. We’re ready for mother nature and it’s fun surviving her.”
“It is. I feel…Like I can rest.”
And how fucked up was it that Simon needed to be out here in a storm to rest? Todd managed not to shake his head, or say anything, but he didn’t think Simon was thriving at his so-called dream job.
“Supper’s ready.”
“Thanks.” Simon smiled and took his plate, eating with spare motions, staying silent.
Todd dug in and ate his steak, enjoying what was likely to be their only hot meal for a while. It was good. The company was good, even if it was slightly awkward. He decided as he ate it, that he wasn’t going to let that awkwardness remain. They could make these days stand on their own, right?
They had at least a day and a half, probably two and a half to get through. They could do something besides sit silently.
When they finished their steaks, he dug out a pair of apples from the left pouch of his pack and handed one over with a flourish. “For you, sir.”
“Oh ho! Rock on!” Simon beamed at him, eyes dancing. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. I was going to do an apple crumble on our last night with the group, but I thought you’d appreciate the fresh apple more.” It was a familiar feeling, wanting to do special things for Simon, wanting to earn that lit-up smile.
“I do love apples. You remember.”
“Yep, I do.” He remembered lots of things about Simon. The way he liked his steak, his love of apples, and the way he was super sensitive right in the curve of his back.
“Me too. A lot.”
That made him smile. Simon always had. So how the hell was he supposed to keep his hands to himself?
“Strawberry waffles. Snowboarding. Watching hummingbirds.”
“I have a hunch we won’t be seeing any hummingbirds this time out.” His lips twitched hard as he tried not to laugh.
“No…can you imagine their little bitty wings? These snowflakes are bigger than them.”
“Yeah. Good thing they’re all safely flown south for the winter.”
/>
“The only idiots out here are us.”
“Yeah we’re kind of crazy that way. I mean I’m actually looking forward to it.” He really was.
“I am too. Seriously. I want to just be for a few days. Here. With you.”
Oh God. That was exactly what he wanted to hear. “Me too.” It made them even crazier, but he didn’t care.
Simon blinked up at him, eyes huge in the lantern’s light. “I’m glad.”
“Let’s bank the fire and hunker in.” He didn’t want to start anything out here in the cold.
“I’m on it.”
He loved it, how Simon immediately got to work. He wasn’t a shirker, never had been. And it made him feel good, knowing Simon was as eager to go ahead with this as he was.
Maybe they’d be sorry later, when they were both back in their respective corners of the world, but right now? This felt like the best thing in the world.
Right now, he felt like he was in heaven, and he wanted to stay right here.
He whistled up Smokey and set a blanket for her on the side of their sleeping bags, which he’d zipped up together. “All ready in here,” he said, pulling back the flap in invitation.
Simon looked at him, then a bright warm grin crossed his face. “Good deal.”
He zipped the tent closed, first the outer layer, then the inner layer, leaving them snug and warm. Any snow that fell would help insulate them from the wind.
Then he climbed into the sleeping bag with Simon.
“Hey.” Simon’s eyes were wide as saucers.
“Hey, you.” Here they were, together. About to do what he’d never dreamed he’d ever do again.
“Can I…I want to…please, babe. Please.”
He wanted the same thing, and he closed the distance between their lips, softly brushing Simon’s with his own. Lightning shot through him at the contact.
Simon gasped, the moan the sweetest thing he’d ever heard.
He brushed their lips together again, then pressed a little harder, his skin tingling. Simon had never been shy, and he hadn’t started in the last few years. Simon kissed him hard, pushing into him with a wild cry.