Dropping Nell off had been hard, and the fact that she hadn’t particularly needed me, coupled with Whitney not being here to share it, was all still weighing heavy on my heart. I wanted to be alone for a little while to collect my thoughts.
“I’ll leave you to settle in a bit, and I’ve got some work in my office to do. Let me know if you have any questions. We’ll get into more detail as the day goes on,” I told her.
She nodded, “Sounds good.”
I thanked her again before making my way up to my office, which seemed like a very long walk today. I just needed to have a few moments to myself before I broke down. I sure didn’t want Rachel to have to deal with that on her first day. She didn’t need to see her boss have a giant meltdown right before her eyes.
When I got to my office, I sat on the floor in front of my filing cabinet and opened the bottom drawer. It contained photos of the three of us before Whitney had passed away. I hid them there so I wouldn’t think about them as much, especially since they weren’t at home. But sometimes I just couldn’t help myself, and I needed to look through them.
As soon as I started looking through them and staring at Whitney’s beautiful face, the tears started. I couldn’t stop it and just kept it quiet. I missed her so much. No one would ever understand the loss I still felt. The fact that Nell didn’t need me today, and showed such poise, broke my heart that her mom wasn’t there to experience it with us. It was all too overwhelming, and it brought up so many emotions for me.
I remembered when Whitney was pregnant with Nell. She was glowing. I had never seen a more gorgeous pregnant woman before. I was head over heels in love with her, and I knew she felt the same way about me. The day we found out we were having a little girl was one of the best days of my life. We had both just been praying for a healthy baby, but we secretly each hoped for a little girl to start our family. Our wishes had been granted.
The ultrasound tech looked at Whitney and asked if she wanted to know.
She looked at me, and we both shrugged and looked at the tech. Whitney nodded her head slowly.
“It’s a girl,” the tech said, and pointed out how we could tell.
Whitney instantly started crying, and I remember the tears that sprang to my eyes. We were going to have a daughter.
“Do you have a name picked out?” asked the tech.
“Nell,” Whitney said, “after my grandma.”
The name had been picked out long before I had even met Whitney. Then, shortly before she got pregnant, her grandmother had passed. I never really had an opinion on the name before, and when she got pregnant, I knew we had to have a girl for Whitney’s sake, so she could name her Nell.
This giant hole in my heart was never going to be fixed. There was just no way. I missed Whitney more and more every day. I knew Nell’s first day of school was going to be hard on me, but it was hard not to feel this way. The reality was that I was never going to find someone even half as good as Whitney, which was the main reason I never wanted to even look at other women.
Until Rachel that is. My thoughts drifted to my brand-new assistant. She would probably think I was weird if she came in and saw me on the floor crying over pictures. And I didn’t want to explain it all to her, not today at least. Not when it was all so raw as it was today. I put the pictures away, closed and locked the cabinet, stood up and sat down in my chair. I didn’t know what to do really. I wasn’t that interested in doing any work. My mind wandered to Nell. Is she having a good day? Is she making friends? Is she sad? Are kids being nice? These questions were running through my mind, and I hoped more than anything that things were going okay for her.
The next few hours were going to be hard.
Chapter Eight
Rachel
I was sitting at the front desk going over the website and responding to questions and comments that had been left around on different posts for a month now. The previous person had never responded to them, which wasn’t going to look good on James or his art company. I was determined to fix his image; he didn’t deserve a bad rap just because of his ex-assistant.
I responded to a few more comments, then looked up just as Nell and James walked into the gallery.
“Rachel!” she yelled and ran over to me. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her as she embraced me.
It took everything in me not to cry. Here was this beautiful, smart little girl wrapping her arms around me. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life, and I was really happy that I had taken Sadie’s advice and found a job. So far it had been pretty good, and I was still only on my first day.
“How was your first day of school?” I asked her.
“It was fun!” she yelled.
“Nell, remember your indoor voice,” James said.
She turned to her Dad, “Sorry, Daddy. I was just so excited.”
“I know, baby,” he said. Then to me he added, “Are you going to be okay down here with her?”
“Of course,” I said.
“If you need anything at all, you know where I am,” he said, then went upstairs.
I think he was a little surprised by how Nell had greeted me, and I wondered if it bothered him.
“What’s for lunch?” she asked me.
“You don’t get lunch at school?” I asked.
She shook her head, “No, but I will in first grade.”
I remembered that she was only in kindergarten. Of course, she didn’t get lunch; she was home at noon.
“Let’s go find something,” I said, and the two of us walked toward the back of the building.
James had told me before he left to pick her up that there would be food back there for her.
There was a kitchen back there, which I assumed was because of all the showings. They needed a kitchen because, based on the advertisements I’d seen, his art shows were usually catered.
The kitchen was huge, and when I walked over to the fridge, I saw there were a few Lunchables inside.
“Do you want one of these?” I asked her.
She nodded her head, “Ham cracker stackers, please.”
I loved how polite she was. It was so sweet. I grabbed the package out of the fridge, pulled the plastic top off and tossed it in the trash. Handing Nell the food, we made our way out of the kitchen and toward the couch that James and I had first sat on that morning. As we passed my desk, I grabbed my own lunch bag from the bottom drawer.
“What are you having?” she asked.
“I made myself a PB & J and some apple slices,” I told her.
“I love PB & J,” she said, her eyes lighting up.
“Do you want half of my sandwich?” I offered. It wasn’t like I was very hungry anyway. In fact, I didn’t really even want to eat food right now.
“Sure!” she said, obviously very excited.
Once we were settled, I pulled my sandwich out of the bag and passed it to Nell, thinking how lucky it was I always cut my sandwiches.
“Thank you,” she said, smiling at me so brightly like this was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
“You’re welcome,” I said.
She took a big bite, “Mmm,” she chewed the sandwich loudly. “This is so yummy.”
I loved how excited she was over a PB & J.
Smiling at her, I took a bite out of my own half of the sandwich.
“Do you want a cracker stacker since you gave me half of your sandwich?” Nell asked.
“Sure,” I said. I hadn’t had a Lunchable in a very long time and wasn’t even sure which ones I liked anymore.
I watched Nell as she grabbed a cracker, put a slice of cheese and then ham on, repeated the sequence, and then put them together and handed it to me.
“It’s much better like this; trust me,” she said.
I laughed, “Thank you, Nell,” I said.
I took a bite of it. “Yum,” I said, matching the enthusiasm she had over my sandwich, even though it wasn’t that good. I wanted to make her feel appreciated. “This is so yummy,” I s
aid, now remembering why I hadn’t had a Lunchable for so long.
She smiled brightly, and pumped her fist in the air, “Yay,” she said.
We finished up our lunch and then we looked around at all the remaining art.
“Why is there so much left?” she asked.
“These are pieces that still need to be picked up by the people who purchased them,” I explained to her.
“Oh. We should wrap them up,” she said.
She wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t sure what James did when it came to them.
“Does your Dad normally wrap them up?” I asked.
She nodded her head and then pointed to a roll of special shipping paper next to us. “He uses that stuff.”
I chewed on my lip, “Let’s go ask your dad if he wants us to do that,” I said.
We walked up the stairs, and I stopped outside of his office. The door was open, but I figured I should knock anyways.
“Come in,” he said and looked up at us. He smiled, and we walked in.
“The remaining paintings. Do you want us to wrap them up for you? So, people can just pick them up and not have to wait for them to be wrapped?” I asked.
“We want to help out!” Nell said.
James laughed, “Sure, you guys could do that. I just need to send out some emails, and I’ll come help you.”
“Okay,” I said and smiled at him. I grabbed Nell’s hand, and we walked back downstairs.
I found scissors and tape with the wrapping paper, and we sat down. I cut out some strips for Nell to start wrapping with. I laughed at the way she started to wrap them up.
“Here, let me help you.” I moved over next to her and helped her wrap up one of the paintings. It was a small one, which was the reason I gave it to her to wrap. I was impressed that she was trying so hard and not damaging the painting.
“I have a new best friend,” she said, as I helped her tape a corner down.
“Oh really? What’s her name?”
“It’s Kassondra, and she’s in my class,” Nell said, excitedly.
I paused and smiled at her, making sure to give her my attention. “I’m so glad you had a good first day, plus you weren’t even scared.”
“That’s what my dad said,” Nell said, noticeably quieter.
I chuckled but wondered what had caused the change in her demeanor.
“My Mom died two years ago,” Nell said.
We were still focused on finishing up wrapping the painting. That was the last thing I expected her to say.
“Wow, I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” I told her.
I heard James walking down the stairs, but I didn’t want to press the issue, whether he was there or not. It wasn’t my place to do that, but I couldn’t help the sadness I felt for her. It all made sense now. The sadness I’d seen in his eyes was because Nell’s mom had passed away. Two years ago, the same time as— I didn’t want to think about that tragedy it was a whole different thing from the divorce.
“Hey ladies, need some help?” he asked and sat down next to us.
“Sure, we could use it,” I said.
When I looked at him, he was staring at me. He had a look on his face that I hadn’t seen in a while. It had been years since I dated a man. My ex-husband had been my high school sweetheart, and we had been together for nine years when we got divorced. The way James was looking at me was causing old feelings deep inside of me to stir. Feelings I hadn’t visited in a very long time.
James helped Nell and I wrap the rest of the artwork. And then we had to wrap the cool sculpture I had seen last time I was there. I helped him wrap it up, and since it was so large and awkward, it took both of us to get the wrapping around it.
Our fingers brushed as James took a corner of the wrapping from me and I felt a chill run down my spine and old feelings bubble deep inside of me. I pushed the feelings away and focused on finishing up the job at hand.
“Thank you so much,” James said when we were done wrapping it all up.
We placed it by the front door so it could get picked up later that day. I loved this so much. Being able to be helpful, but also working with the art. It was two of my passions combined into one.
“You’re welcome,” I said.
Nell was sitting on the couch flipping through one of the magazines. She had lost interest in what we were doing about fifteen minutes earlier.
“I’m serious. Thank you so much. It really means a lot.”
“It’s my job,” I said, reminding him that assisting him was what I was there for.
“I know, but you have no idea how nice it is to have someone that actually wants to do their job.”
“The last one was that bad, huh?” I asked.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“I wondered. this morning I responded to comments or questions on the website that were like a month old. I’m going to help you turn your online presence around because it seems like she didn’t do a very good job of it.
James smiled at me. He was so handsome when he smiled, but I just wished it would reach his eyes. As soon as I thought it, I realized that must be what I looked like when I smiled.
“Thank you, Rachel. You’re seriously the best assistant I’ve ever had.”
“I’ve only been here one day.”
“So you can see what a bad run of luck I’ve had with assistants.”
I gave him a kind smile.
“You can head home, and I’ll see you tomorrow morning, okay?”
“No! I don’t want her to go,” Nell said, jumping up from the couch and hugging me.
I got down to her level. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Nell. Maybe I’ll bring some games with me, and we can play together after you get out of school.”
Nell’s eyes brightened, and she hugged me again, and I had to fight back tears.
After I stood up, I told James I would see him the following morning. Then I grabbed my purse and headed out. As I walked home, I couldn’t believe how good I felt. It was just a little bit. But a little glimmer of happiness and hope was better than none at all.
I thought about what Nell had told me. It broke my heart to heart that she had lost her mom at such a young age. She didn’t seem too bothered by it, though. She probably didn’t really remember her much.
A purpose. That was had me feeling better. After all this time, I finally felt like I had a purpose in my life. Something that would keep me moving forward. Keep me getting up and leaving my apartment. I felt good, and I wanted to hold on to that feeling for as long as possible.
As soon as I got to my apartment, I went right to the fridge and started to make my lunch for the following day. I made a second one, exactly the same, just in case, for Nell. Then I went to my hall closet and pulled out a simple board game I had, figuring she might enjoy playing it.
With everything together, I found that I was really excited to go to work the following day. Sadie had been so right. One day on the job and I was starting to feel better already. But I knew little Nell had something to do with that.
Chapter Nine
James
From my second-floor office, I could hear the girls laughing downstairs. I walked down the steps and into the gallery area. That’s where I spotted them, sitting at a table Rachel had pulled out from the back storage room. That’s when I noticed what they were using it for. I stood there, in the back of the gallery, watching Rachel paint Nell’s fingernails.
It warmed my heart to see them like that because I knew that Nell really needed something, someone like that in her life. Someone to paint her nails and talk about whatever girls talk about together. Esther wasn’t a bad nanny. She took good care of Nell and did what was asked of her, but I had never seen her actually do anything like this with Nell.
I took a few more steps, trying to be quiet so I could watch their little moment together, but Nell spotted me too soon.
“Daddy! Rachel’s painting my nails.” There was pure excitement in her voice as she held up her right hand
to show me her freshly painted fingernails. I watched Rachel cringe and held back a laugh.
“I can see that,” I said and walked over to the table. I pulled out one of the chairs and sat down next to them. Nell’s fingernails were now painted a bright pink color. A color that I felt was perfect for a little girl. I wasn’t at all upset, but I could tell that Rachel was nervous. I didn’t want to make her nervous, though it seemed like that was all I did.
“I hope this is okay? I just had some in my purse, and Nell spotted it and told me that she had never had anyone paint her nails,” Rachel said. She seemed a little leery, like she didn’t know how I was going to react.
“It’s perfectly fine, Rachel. I love that you are doing this with her.” Then I looked at Nell. “Looks like Nell loves that you’re doing this with her too.” The excitement was written all over Nell’s face.
“I do!” Nell cheered and threw her hands in the air. When she realized what she had just done, she brought her hands back down and examined her fingers. “Oops,” she said.
Rachel grabbed her hands gently and examined them. “None of them got messed up; it’s okay.” Rachel smiled brightly at Nell and Nell returned it with one of her own.
“You know, Rachel, I was thinking that you can take the rest of the day off. I’ll still pay you for a full day, but I want to spend some time with Nell,” I said.
With her in school now, I knew I wasn’t going to get very much time with her anymore. I wanted to take the opportunity anytime I could to spend time with my daughter. Before I knew it, I would be packing her up and sending her off to college. That was something I didn’t really want to think about.
Rachel looked at me. “Are you sure you don’t need me to stick around to help out with anything? I think there are a few more emails I can reply to. Or, I could even help you get ready for next show.” She listed off various things she could possibly help me out with, and I couldn’t help but laugh at each one.
I loved how helpful she was and that when I was trying to send her home early, she just wanted to stick around and help. I felt like I had lucked out. She was the best assistant I had ever had, by far. Not only did she go above and beyond for me, but she also would above and beyond for Nell.
Daddy Boss (A Boss Romance Love Story) Page 5