“There, all clean,” I said.
James laughed, followed by Nell, and I joined them. It was nice because it seemed like we were always laughing. There was always someone messing around, most of the time it was Nell, but a lot of the times James and I were joking about something, too. I love how we clicked like that. The three of us got along so great. It made everything seem better when I was around them.
“You can come see my house whenever you want,” I told Nell. Her eyes lit up really big.
“I can?” she said, and then she turned to James, “Daddy, can I spend the night at Rachel’s?”
James laughed, “You can if Rachel would like that sometime,” he said.
I smiled at the two of them, “Of course, you can stay the night with me,” I told Nell. She immediately came running up, and she threw her arms around me once again. I loved all of her hugs. She always hugged me so tightly, it made me sad that she hadn’t had her mom to hug all this time.
“Thank you, Rachel!” she yelled.
“When would you like to do this?” I asked her.
“Tonight! Can we do it tonight?” She said.
I laughed again and gave her another hug. “I don’t see why not,” I said to her and then to James, “You can stay too if you want,” I told him.
Nell started clapping her hands and jumping up and down. “Oh yes, Daddy, please! Please! Stay with us!” she yelled.
We were both laughing at how silly Nell was being. She was so excited over spending the night with me, and even more so to have her dad coming along. I loved how innocent she was, and how she got so happy about even the little things. It gave me a new lease on life to see her childlike wonder.
James pretended to think about it for a moment before he said, “Sure, I’ll stay with you guys.”
He went upstairs shortly afterward and started to get to work. There were some things that he had to do before we were done for the day. I went back to my desk and answered a couple more emails and made some comments on the website. Then Nell and I looked at the remaining paintings. I made up a story about a couple of them, and I could tell Nell absolutely loved it. I was nervous to have them stay at my house, and I was trying to remember the last time I cleaned it. But then I remembered I had been on top of cleaning every single day, so I hardly even had to do anything. There might’ve been a couple dishes in the sink, but that was an easy fix.
It was a couple more hours before James was done and we were all ready to leave. Nell was excited that we didn’t even have to get in the car. We just had to walk right up the street. I led the way, and she got excited all over again. It was something I’d been expecting, but she started screaming and jumping up and down. James told her to stop screaming, but she did it again until he told her they would be going home if she didn’t stop. But he quietly signaled to me that they really wouldn’t, and I had to hide my smile.
James left after a little while to pick us up some food we had ordered from a Mexican restaurant. He planned to stop by his house and grab a few things for them. Nell’s favorite blanket was a must have. When he came back thirty minutes later, we sat down around my table, and the three of us ate our food. It was really good, and I especially enjoyed it, not having had any Mexican food in a while.
“This is so good. Where did you say this place was?” I asked him.
“Off of Manhattan and 12th Street,” James said, as he took a bite of his rice.
“Oh, the little place with the mariachi band, right?”
“Yep, that’s the one,” James said, taking another bite of his rice with a scoop of beans. I couldn’t say I blamed him; it was really good.
When we finished eating, I went into the living room picked up the picture frame, my special one, and hid it away on my shelf behind some books. I didn’t want them to see and have questions. I still wasn’t quite ready to take the picture down for good.
I turned on the TV and found a family movie on Netflix, and the three of us settled on my couch and started watching it.
“Daddy, you’re going asleep on the couch tonight. I’m gonna sleep with Rachel in her bed,” Nell said, matter-of-factly.
James laughed, “Is that so?”
Nell nodded enthusiastically, “Yes,” but didn’t say another word.
“I guess it’s settled,” I said. James and I both laughed, but I was a little disappointed that I wouldn’t be sleeping with James, but I was excited to cuddle with Nell.
When the movie was over, the three of us separated. Nell and I said goodnight to James and left him on the couch in the living room, while Nell and I went and crawled into my bed. We stayed up a little late, talking and laughing, but I made sure that she didn’t stay awake past nine-thirty. She needed to get some good rest for school the next day. It was nice to have her sleep in my bed, and to my surprise, she got in but didn’t seem to want to cuddle with me. It was nice anyway, though, it had made me think of my own life. It made me think about everything I had missed out on over the last couple years. I tried not to let it break my heart.
“This is so fun, Rachel!” Nell yelled. I heard James laugh in the other room, which made me laugh, too. “What?” Nell asked.
“You yelled it, and your daddy heard you,” I told her. We both laughed, then she snuggled into me.
“Rachel, this has been the best day ever. Thank you for having me over,” she said, then she yawned. I could tell she was getting tired. I could see why Kassondra’s parents liked having her over. She was a polite girl.
“You’re welcome, Nell. I’m so glad you’re here,” I said to her. I hugged her and then she rolled over, and minutes later, she fell asleep. And after a few more minutes, I heard James make his way down the hall to my room. The door pushed open slowly, and he came inside. He walked over to my side of the bed. He got down next to me on his knees and kissed me. It was a sweet kiss, but it was so intimate, I could tell it meant so much more.
I knew at that moment that I was falling in love with him. More in love than I’d ever been in my life. But I was scared. I didn’t know how he felt about me, and I would be absolutely horrified if I confessed my feelings to him only to discover that he didn’t feel the same way about me. Something like that could send me back into the darkness.
“I just wanted to tell you good night,” he said.
With a final kiss, he walked through the door and down the hallway to the living room.
I rolled over and felt a new sense of peace overwhelm me. The feeling was warm and inviting, something I hadn’t felt in so long. Every single day, I was growing more and more thankful for both he and Nell. He didn’t know it, but he had saved my life. There was no way I could’ve kept on living the way I had been. If it wouldn’t have been for the ‘help wanted’ sign, I don’t think my life would have ever turned around. I owed all of my happiness to both James and Nell.
Chapter 29
James
One month later
I arrived at work just as I had on most days for the last month, with two cups of coffee in my hand. One with two sugars, and a vanilla latte for Rachel. I knew how she liked her coffee sweet. I brought it to her, and she had really enjoyed it. She mentioned that she would mind if I brought her one again, and from that moment forward, I brought her one almost every day, without her even asking me.
Rachel got up and greeted me with a hug before taking the coffee, which I appreciated. She set the coffees down, then turned back around, and I pulled her into me for a big kiss.
“I missed you,” I said.
“I missed you, too. But I spent the night last night, remember? You literally just saw me thirty minutes ago.” She laughed and kissed me again; then I gave her the latte.
“Thank you,” Rachel said, taking a sip. “Mmm. I love these so much. Thank you. I probably would have been dosing black coffee with creamer. We all know that doesn’t really taste that good,” she said with a laugh.
I took a sip of my coffee, “Well, you just needed to find somebody that c
ould introduce you to the finer things, like good coffee,” I told her. Under my breath, I added, “If you can even consider that coffee.”
“Hey!” Rachel said, laughing at me. “It’s still coffee. It’s just really watered down flavored coffee. And some of us can only drink weak coffee, you know. Some of us don’t have badass taste buds like you.”
“Badass taste buds?” I asked her with a laugh.
“You know, people who like spicy stuff and drink strong black coffee. And chew on nails, and all that stuff.” She laughed again, and this time I laughed with her. She really was something else. She always kept me on my toes with the things she said to me.
I set my coffee down and wrapped my arms around her. “I am happier than I have ever been before. This last month has been so amazing,” I said to her. It was true; I had never felt this way about anyone else before.
“Aw, that’s sweet.” She gave me a smile that told me she appreciated what I’d said.
“I am happier than I’ve been in such a long time, and I owe it all to you and Nell,” she said. Her smile warmed my heart.
“I think the last month has been really good for Nell, too. Having you in her life, it somehow—I’ve seen her change. In a good way,” I told her.
“I’m glad to hear that. Because Nell has changed me, too. I enjoy every moment I spend with both of you,” Rachel said.
Nell had taken quite a liking to Rachel right away. But over the last month, I’d seen her get closer to Rachel in a way that she’d never even been to me. She would tell Rachel things that she wouldn’t tell me, and at first, it kind of bothered me, but when I thought about it, I realized it was because she didn’t have a mom. She needed someone that she could vent to. She needed someone that she could talk to, and she finally had that in Rachel.
I kissed Rachel’s head, “I’m serious. You’ve been so amazing and her and me; thank you.”
I still couldn’t believe she was mine. We’d been together for just about a month now, and we’d been spending so much time together at work and in our personal lives; I really felt like I couldn’t picture my life without her. I’ve never been more thankful for an employee that I was for her. Because she wasn’t just an employee. She had started out that way, and if she wouldn’t have, I would’ve never been able to experience the best thing that’s ever happened to me besides my daughter.
“You’re welcome. But I owe all things to you. You changed me. You helped pull me out of a really dark place,” she said.
I kissed her until the phone started ringing. She walked over and answered it, sitting at her desk. I studied her while she talked on the phone. She spoke with such ease and confidence, you wouldn’t think that Rachel ever had a moment of insecurity.
Since I’d hired Rachel, my profits had skyrocketed, and I’d increased my client intake. I was doing two shows a week now, and I owed it all to Rachel. I watched as she took notes during the call. The way she was talking, I could tell the customer was looking to pick up a piece of art they had purchased the previous weekend. They had never been here, so must have either made the purchase over the phone, or had someone else come in and buy it for them. She gave them the directions flawlessly. I never met anybody who could give direction so well. I usually just talked people into turning at another adjacent building with the red flag outside. Or, if you reach the giant oak tree, you’ve gone too far, and you should turn back and look for the Dunkin’ Donuts. But Rachel explained it to where people understood it without having to point out landmarks. Everything she did was amazing, and I was head over heels in love.
She got off the phone, and I asked her if it was a customer looking to pick up something. She told me that it was and I gave her another kiss.
“Listen, Rachel. I was thinking I could take you and Nell out to dinner tonight,” I said.
Rachel’s face lit up, “I’d love that.she said.
I felt relief flooded through me. I don’t know why, but I still felt nervous when I asked her questions. She still gave me butterflies. After that, I went upstairs into my office, then sat down and did some work for the morning before had to leave to go pick up Nell.
When Nell got in the car, I could tell there was something wrong right away.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I asked her.
She didn’t respond.
“Nell? Are you alright?” I asked her, again.
She didn’t answer me. She just stared out the window, which only made me wonder what was wrong even more. I had no idea what was going on in her mind, and I didn’t know if something it happened at school or not. I would’ve liked for her to tell me so I could fix the problem. I wanted her to talk to me, to lean on me. I wanted her to feel like she needed me. But I wondered if maybe I wasn’t the person to talk to.
“Nell, what’s wrong? You know you can talk to me,” I said to her.
Nell just nodded her head. She didn’t say anything else, and I was beginning to really worry. But, I decided the best thing to do for now was to take her mind off of it.
“We are going to dinner with Rachel tonight after work,” I told her.
I watch the rearview mirror as her face lit up. “Really?” she asked.
“Yes, really,” I said with a laugh.
“I’m so excited,” Nell said.
I could tell that she really was excited, and for the first time since she got in the car, she genuinely looked happy. I wanted to know what was bothering her, and I was glad that she was happy. Even if it was only going to make her happy for a little while.
The rest the day went by fast, and the three of us went out to dinner. Nell seemed to be more upbeat at dinner. She ate all of her food and chit-chatted away. I was happy to see that she was so happy and excited. It made me feel a lot better, but I knew that something was still bothering her from school. I needed to figure out, but I knew she didn’t really want to talk to me.
“Is your spaghetti good?” I asked Nell, as she put a large forkful into her mouth.
She smiled and nodded her head as she slurped up the stray noodles.
“Don’t do that,” I said. I hated when she did that, especially in public. Pasta sauce would get everywhere, plus, it was kind of gross.
“Okay, Daddy,” she said, then turned her attention to Rachel. “Can you spend the night with us tonight?”
Rachel looked at me first for confirmation, and I nodded my head.
“Of course, if that’s what you want,” Rachel said.
“You know I like it when you spend the night,” I said, with a wink and a laugh.
She lightly hit me on the arm, “Oh, you’re horrible,” she laughed. “Not the place or company.” She was still smiling though, which told me she liked my flirting and didn’t actually mean that she wanted me to stop.
“What? I’m only speaking the truth,” I said.
She rolled her eyes, just as the waiter approached our table to take everyone’s plates.
“Is anyone up for dessert?” I asked them.
“Me!” both of the girls said, at exactly the same time, making me laugh.
“Do you like chocolate?” Nell asked Rachel.
Rachel smiled broadly, just as a large slice of chocolate cake came out to our table. “Yes, I do,” she said with a laugh. The waiter set the slice of chocolate cake down in front of us. Rachel and Nell were both practically drooling.
The three of us picked up our spoons, put them into the cake, and took a big bite. Then we all stared at each other in disbelief. It was the best damn cake I had ever tasted.
“Wow. This is so good,” Rachel said, sticking her spoon back into the cake for another bite. Nell quickly followed suit, and I did the same, figuring that if I waited too long, the girls would eat the entire thing.
After we finished the last few bites of the cake, I think the three of us may have been fuller than ever before.
“My tummy hurts,” Nell said, as we were getting into the car.
“Mine too,” I said, and rubbed my be
lly. We both turned and looked at Rachel who then repeated the same thing.
“Me three.”
The three of us laughed, and I drove on toward our home. By the time we got back to our house, it was time for Nell to go to bed. But she didn’t want me to put her to bed; she asked if Rachel could do it.
Rachel looked at me as if asking if it was okay. I nodded my assent, then I got down to Nell’s level.
“Good night, sweetheart. Have sweet dreams. I love you,” I said to her.
Good night, Daddy. You too. I love you, too,” she said back to me.
I gave her a big kiss and a hug.
“I’ll be right back,” Rachel said to me, and then let Nell grab her hand and lead her off to her room.
I tried not to let it bother me that Nell wanted Rachel to put her to bed, but I held on to the hope that maybe Nell would tell Rachel what was bothering her. At least then she’d be able to tell somebody how she felt. I didn’t want her to hold her emotions all the time; it just wasn’t healthy. If her outlet was talking to Rachel, then I was more than happy, even if I never found out what was going on with her today. At least somebody I was close to would know what was going on with my daughter, and I held onto the comfort in that.
Chapter 30
Rachel
I followed Nell into her room, admittedly a little shocked that she wanted me to put her to bed instead of her dad. I hoped I hadn’t overstepped, and didn’t want James to think I was interfering. While I wasn’t Nell’s parent, I was still flattered that she wanted me to put her to bed.
She dragged me down the hallway and into her room. Then walked over to her books and picked up one of her favorites. She handed it to me to read.
“Will you please read that to me?” she asked.
I nodded my head, “Sure thing, sweetheart.”
After I had read her the book, Nell looked a little tired, or maybe even sad. I sat next to her on the bed rubbed her little head. “Nell, are you okay?” I asked her.
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