My friendship with Chris had been around a whole lot longer than Luke and even though I was willing to give up everything for him, I wasn't going to start a relationship with him telling me who I could and couldn't talk to.
I looked at my phone and thought about sending Ryan a message but decided against it as it would probably end up in Luke’s ear.
I sat in LAX looking around and people watching, wondering if the people who passed were happy. The last couple of weeks had been easy and fun. I hadn't known life could be so simple. And then it was gone. I was angry at Luke. No, I was livid.
If he had only talked to me about it, it may have been different. I called my grandfather to ask what he thought about me moving to Portland now and finishing my grant there while I continued to work for him.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Granddad.”
“Hey sugar, how are you?”
“I'm good. I decided to fly up to Maine and see Rachel.”
“So you won't be in this week?”
“No. But everything is taken care of. Once the last panel is in at Salston, we can finish the last job of the month.”
“Good. I assume Chris is handling everything while you’re gone?”
“I haven't talked to him and would prefer not to right now. I left instructions with John. He’s going to assist Chris with what needs to be done.”
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
“I just need a few days to clear my head. I have some personal stuff going on, and I just...” I sighed loudly.
“Did Chris do something?”
“I don't think he did directly, but Luke isn't too fond of him for some reason.”
“Luke is special to you, and you are to him. So, of course he isn't going to be fond of any other man who spends time with you.”
“But Chris is only a coworker.”
“That you have lunch with on a regular basis and from what your mother has said also dinner.”
“It isn't like that.”
“How would you feel if the tables were turned?”
“I wouldn't hold it against him. Chris and I have known each other forever, and he has worked for you for years. I just don't see what the problem is.”
“Maybe you should talk to Luke.”
“He won't talk to me.”
“Give him some time, dear. I am sure he is just hurt, and you know how we men can be. Hurt can come across as anger. You two are so much like your Mimi and me.”
“I wish we were. You guys have a perfect love.”
“I wish it was perfect. It is far from it. We just made a promise to each other that we wouldn't give up. Maybe that's why we’re still married. Your grandmother has threatened to murder me on more than one occasion. The problem starts when you are oblivious to what’s going on around you. When innocence is questioned, it makes you defensive. Maybe your intentions were pure, but maybe Chris’ weren’t, and Luke picked up on that. Do you remember Shirley?”
“Yeah, she used to work for you.”
“Yes, Shirley and I worked together a lot. One day, Mimi told me she had to go. I didn't understand why. She insisted Shirley wasn't the person I thought she was and that I needed to protect myself and my family. I started paying closer attention and seeing little things that made me understand. While I would never do anything to hurt my wife, things were happening that made it look like I was doing things I shouldn’t have been doing. Once I figured out what was going on, I put a stop to it. Shirley wasn't happy and tried to convince me that my life should be with her.”
“Wow.” It was all I could say. I remembered Shirley, and I couldn't see her doing something like that.
“When you flush the devil out, he’s usually pretty obvious.”
“I can see that.”
“I like Chris. Always have. And he’s a good worker, but if he is dabbling in your personal life, then he can be replaced.”
“I don't think he is. I just think maybe Luke overreacted.”
“Well, time will tell. Take your time and enjoy it. You are only young once. Love you, see you when you get back.”
“Thanks, love you too.” I hit the end button stared at my phone. I lifted it and finally reached out to Luke.
Can we talk when I get home?
Emerson
I watched the screen and waited for him to answer. After a few minutes, I dropped my phone in my lap and laid my head against the wall, waiting for my flight.
***
When I landed, Rachel was waiting on me with a huge smile on her face, and when her arms wrapped around me, I lost it.
“Oh, honey. It's going to be okay,” she cooed.
“I just don't know what I did.”
“He's being a stupid boy. He will come around.”
“I don't know.”
“He will realize his mistake soon enough,” she assured me. “Come on. I fixed your old room up for you. We’ll drink wine and watch something funny to get your mind off how stupid boys are.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Luke
After Ryan’s “pep talk,” I changed clothes and then went to get in the truck to drive to Portland.
“See you on the flip side,” Ryan called out as I pulled out of the driveway.
I arrived at her office and was greeted by an older lady with glasses perched on the end of her nose.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“I’m here to see Emerson.”
“Miss Myers isn't in the office, but I can get Chris Ames to help you, if you'd like.”
“No, that's okay. When do you expect her back?”
“Not until next week.”
“Oh okay.” I put my hands in my pockets and walked back down the hall toward the elevator. As I was waiting, Chris’ voice came from behind me.
“She’s at my house. She needed some alone time. I can give her a message if you want.”
I wanted to come out of my skin. I really wanted to hit him, but I contained my fury and pulled the door open, deciding to take the stairs instead of being near him another second.
“Too bad you never got to hit that from behind, watching her round ass ripple every time I sink into her is quite a sight.”
I couldn't stop myself. I turned and grabbed him by the neck and walked him backward into a wall.
“If she is at your house, and if you guys are together, that’s one thing... but don't you ever speak like that about her again.” I squeezed a little harder.
“I will talk about her anyway I please. You’re just jealous she chose me over you.” He croaked out.
“I feel sorry for her if she chose you. You are a poor excuse for a man. I know how you are and how often you can actually keep your dick in your pants.” I pushed against his chest with my forearm.
“As long as she’s in my bed, that sweet ass of hers will be all I need.”
I punched him. Blood trickled from his nose. I hit him twice more until there was a man pulling at me.
“Son.” I heard from behind me and turned to see an older man standing there looking at Chris in a way my father used to look at me when I was about to reprimanded. Then, he looked at me.
“I am not sure who you are or what exactly is going on here, but you should probably leave.” Chris looked over at the man as he spoke, then dropped his face in his hands. Blood was pouring from his nose now.
“Don't ever talk about her like that again,” I threatened Chris again, then turned and walked away.
***
Ryan burst through the door to the workshop wondering what was going on. “I’ve been texting you for hours.” Ryan threw his hands in the air, looking over at me as I stood over the piece of furniture I was currently working on.
“I’ve been here all day.” I watched as he paced around the room shaking his head. I reached into my pocket and looked at the phone and seeing multiple text messages. Fourteen from Ryan, to be precise. “Really? Fourteen messages, are you a girl?”
“I didn�
��t want drive all the way out here if you were here. And you haven’t been the most responsive the past couple of days.” Ryan walked out of the door, returning with his favorite blue cooler. “So, we gonna talk or what?” he made himself comfortable in one of my chairs, leaning back and crossing one leg over the other at his ankle.
“I’ve been here all day. Sorry I didn’t realize you needed to talk to me so bad.” I look down at my phone screen again realizing there was a message from Emmy. I touched the screen to open it. All it said was she wanted to talk when she got home. I seriously thought about texting her back, but chose to stick my phone back in my pocket and deal with Ryan.
As if Ryan knew that she had messaged me, he said, “Have you heard from Emerson?”
I fiddled with my phone through my pants pocket. I wanted to message her and at least acknowledge it, but at the same time I didn't.
“Someone else text you today?” he said it like he knew she had.
“Nope.” I frowned and took the beer he was handing me.
“Sorry, man.” He popped the lid off his bottle and lifted it to his lips. I did the same, thinking about what had happened with Chris.
“She wasn't there when I got to the office.”
“Oh.” Ryan looked up.
“She was apparently at Chris’ and I got to hear him tell me all about what it was like to—” I meant to set my bottle down, but I slammed it against the workbench top.
“Wow, I've heard it all now,” Ryan laughed.
“It isn't funny.”
“Dude, you know as well as I do that she isn't sleeping with that asshat.”
I looked at him, and he shrugged.
“Then again, you told her you guys aren't together so... who cares?”
“The thought of another man touching her makes me sick. Literally sick to my stomach.”
Ryan nodded, took another pull of his beer, and then started to speak again. He opened his mouth and then shut it again without saying anything. He took another pull before dropping the bottle to his thigh.
“I just don't think she would do that. Even if she had the opportunity. I don't think so. Would she really be that easy?”
“She’s known him for years.”
Ryan smiled. He lifted his finger in the air as if he had an idea.
“So, she’s known him for years and decided to sleep with him just now? Seems a bit suspicious to me.” He shook his head as if it was a ridiculous idea.
“I don't know what to believe anymore.” I lifted my bottle and drained it. “Throw me another.” I reached my hand out just as the bottle came flying across the room.
Ryan tapped his head as he said. “Don't get all caught up in here.”
I nodded and drank. We drank all the beer and then moved into the house and drank all of my bourbon. We played PlayStation, and I was distracted. It was a good night, until I laid down and thought about Chris and Emerson together.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Emerson
The days I spent with Rachel had been just what I needed. I didn't think about work or my grant or even Luke... much. She kept me busy. We shopped and shopped and even found me a gorgeous bridesmaid dress. I helped her pick out a cake style and settle on a place for the wedding reception. And that was just day one. Day two started with her waking me up like a kid on Christmas morning.
“Hey!” She sat on the edge of my bed, bouncing rapidly.
“Morning,” I grumbled. She was always the morning person, and I was not. Her smile was wide, and I knew that meant that I was going to be getting up really, really soon.
“I am so glad you are in town. So... today, I was thinking we could go dress shopping while Charlie is at his conference. Ya know. THE dress.”
“Wedding dress?” I raised my eyebrows and gave her a small smile.
“Yes. I couldn't think of a better person to do that with.”
I perked up. “Okay.”
“Get to moving, missy.” She slapped my blanket covered butt and pranced out of the room. As she turned into the hall, she called over her shoulder. “I've got your coffee, and it's calling your name, Emmy, Emmy, Emmy, Emmy...” Her voice got quieter as she moved into the other room. I stretched my arms over my head and let out a big yawn and then sat up. I reached for my phone, and before I even opened the screen, I sat it back down. My feet hit the cold hardwood floors, and I cringed, jerking them back up into the covers.
I laughed, remembering a conversation about how cold the floor was when we first moved in. I counted down to three in my head and then ran across the room and into the bathroom across the hall. After jumping in the shower and brushing my teeth, I walked down the hall and grabbed my chair at the bistro table.
“Here ya go, sunshine.”
Rachel was being extra sweet, which worried me a little.
“Okay. I let ya have a day without questions, so it’s time to talk out why you are really here.”
I lifted the coffee cup to my mouth taking in the warm, rich liquid. I needed a lot more caffeine before there would be any conversation. I grunted and took another sip.
“What’s really going on with the big, burly lumberjack living next door?” she asked.
I sat the coffee cup down and watched the liquid swirl around in the cup before I spoke.
“I don't know anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don't even know. Luke and I are hot and cold. At the moment, he thinks I like Chris.”
“Do you?” She walked over and sat down.
“I don't know. I mean I have known Chris forever. Maybe there could be something there.” I rolled my eyes at the thought.
“What?”
“He doesn't give me butterflies.”
“And the lumberjack does?”
“Luke.”
“Right, Luke.”
“When he is near me, it's the best and weirdest thing I have ever felt.”
“You get all fluttery inside?”
“Yeah. I guess that’s what you’d call it.” I shrugged.
“But not with Chris?”
“No, but it doesn't mean that I couldn't feel like that about him eventually.”
“So you would give up what you feel when you are around Luke to maybe find it eventually with Chris?”
“It’s not that, it’s that Luke is making me question everything. Why does he keep questioning it? I mean, if he’s going to question us... question me... what does that say? And eventually, I’m going to move to Portland, and Luke isn't.”
“So, you want to take the easy road. That doesn't sound like the Emmy I know and love.”
“I don't know what I want. I thought I did, until Luke started acting all whatever. Sometimes, I want to just blow everything off and just be with Luke, and other times I get mad because I want to do that. Wanting Luke doesn’t make sense. But Chris, Chris would be a logical, safe bet. Right?”
She shook her head. “I think you need to really consider what you’re giving up. I'm not saying that you couldn't have the butterflies and fireworks with Chris or maybe someone else down the road, but you do have it with Luke now.”
“I know, and it's overwhelming most of the time.”
“How so?”
“Like I said before, my body knows when he is around. A flush roars through me when he’s near, and when he touches me, even a simple tap on the skin sets my body on fire. It is very hard to concentrate when he is around. With Chris, it's different. More of a friend thing. I don't know. I do know that I can't fall in love with a man who lives somewhere that I can't.”
“You don't like long drives in the rain?” She stood and knocked my shoulder as she walked to the coffee pot, bringing it toward me and refilling my cup.
“No, I don't,” I deadpanned, and she laughed, turning to put the carafe back.
“Maybe you should just sleep with him and then sleep with Chris and then date whoever is better in bed.” She said flippantly.
I almost spit coffee out
of my mouth and then choked. I felt her tapping my back as I tried to wipe my face and catch my breath at the same time.
“I was just saying. Don’t go dying on me.”
“I can't sleep with both of them.”
“Why not?
I tilted my head at her. “Wait? You were serious?”
She laughed. “Okay, so you won't, but my point is this: don't make all your decisions based on geography. And I may or may not want to live vicariously through you, so you need to start sleeping with one of them.”
I smiled at her, and we laughed.
“Okay, enough about boys for now. You have twenty minutes, and then we are going to Jenna’s to look at dresses.”
“Yes ma’am.” I turned my cup up and finished the coffee.
***
Rachel walked out of the dressing room and slowly twirled, the off-white fabric slowly following her movements.
“I don't know,” she said when she stopped. “It doesn’t really make me feel something.”
“If you don't know, then move along.” I smiled and shooed her back into the dressing room.
I waited a few minutes while she tried on several more. She shouted no a few times and then opened the door. She came out in a silver dress with pink flowers along the bottom and several going up the side and connecting at the bodice. The flowers encrusted the heart-shaped neckline. When she turned, there was a pink bow tumbling down the back. While it wasn't my style, it was exactly what I would have picked out for Rachel. When my eyes traveled back up the dress to hers, I saw the tears as they dripped down her face.
“It's perfect.” She smiled and wiped at her face.
“Do you like this one?” The lady that had been helping her asked.
“This is it!” Rachel stated. The lady turned around and hit a bell, and cheers broke out across the small shop.
Once we had grabbed a bite to eat, we went to the cake shop to taste several flavors of wedding cake.
I didn't much care for the red velvet. Why would you want that as a wedding cake? I always thought wedding cake was white, but I was educated about it today. I chuckled to myself as the plates were set in front of us.
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