by Katie Fforde
‘Let’s go in the house and I’ll tell you.’
Now she was safe Gilly felt as if she’d panicked and knew that if she hadn’t had too much wine she wouldn’t have been so impetuous. But Sebastian could be frightening and Martin could be dominating.
‘Well, it was my fault really. I had too much to drink.’
‘Why do women always blame themselves for things? Or have you been conditioned to do that?’
William wasn’t usually so blunt but it made her think. She headed towards the kitchen and he followed her. They sat opposite each other at the kitchen table.
‘I probably have been conditioned to do that. Everything was my fault in my marriage, from the roof leaking to the weather being bad to the fact I had a difficult relationship with my mother-in-law. Although she was a very strong character, my ex, Sebastian, blamed the problems we had entirely on me.’
‘So why did you feel the need to drink too much? Although you don’t seem remotely drunk.’
‘I’m not drunk but I’ve probably had too much to be legal to drive. And I did it because Martin sprung Sebastian on me. I panicked. He and Martin together can be very overbearing.’
‘You haven’t told me much about your marriage. When you were getting divorced you were always so careful to keep it as businesslike as you could. Although his attempts to get his hands on your house must have been devastating.’
From habit, she got up to put the kettle on. ‘It was. Fairacres had been my parents’ house, as you know. Sebastian never contributed much to it financially and yet he made it so I had to pay him off by selling the orchard and that bit that went for a building plot.’ She paused and smiled as she sat down again. ‘I should have let it go by now and really, I have, but seeing him tonight and him being so awful about—’ She stopped.
‘About what? Let me guess, the thought of another man going to live in what had been his home?’
‘Yes, basically. He and Martin were very territorial. I suppose it’s different for Martin but Sebastian has no right to be like that at all.’
‘Has he married again?’
‘He did, for a short while, but it didn’t last.’
‘Oh well, we won’t invite him to our party then.’
She laughed.
William picked up a pepper grinder that was on the table between them. ‘You haven’t changed your mind? Martin being unhappy about it hasn’t made you feel you’d rather I didn’t move in?’
‘If I worried about what made Martin happy I’d never redecorate! Or if I did, I’d have to keep the same colours. He’s always had a rather rosy view of what his father was like. But I’m sure he’ll come round.’
‘And if he doesn’t?’
‘Well, we’ll still have the party! And you’ll still come and live with me. And I’ll still move his old desk to make room for yours.’
‘But you’d be unhappy about it.’ It was a statement, not a question.
‘Well, of course I’d prefer it if he gave us his blessing but if he doesn’t then maybe I have to live with that.’ She paused. The kettle was boiling. ‘Do you actually want a hot drink of any kind?’
‘Not really,’ he said, getting up and going round to her side of the table. ‘I think we both need an early night.’
She smiled and put her arm round his waist as they went upstairs.
Chapter Thirty-five
‘Helly! Darling!’ It was late the following morning, and Jago and Helena had just arrived back from their time away. Helena found herself enveloped in one of her mother’s special hugs as Gilly intercepted them at the door. Gilly had waved William off a few moments earlier.
‘Everything all right, Mum?’ she asked.
‘Of course! Come in. Jago! How are you? Are you hungry? What can I get you?’
Jago kissed Gilly. ‘It’s lovely to see you again. And as always I’m starving. Breakfast seems a long time ago and I only had toast.’
‘There are few people I love more than hungry ones, especially when they are always so appreciative,’ said Gilly. ‘What would you like? Why don’t I make you a proper B & B full English? With or without baked beans – not a fan myself. I’ve got some black pudding and some homemade hash brown potatoes to go with the usual things?’
‘Oh my goodness,’ said Jago. ‘That all sounds like heaven.’
‘You could go and eat in the dining room. I’ve opened the doors to the garden, it’s such a lovely day.’
When Gilly had put plates of food down in front of them, Jago’s so full she had to use a side plate for the fried bread and the hash browns, Gilly sat down at the table too.
‘Are you sure that’s enough, darling?’ she said, looking at Helena’s bacon and tomato on wholemeal toast.
‘Yes, thank you, Mum. This is just what I fancy. And if I ate all that’ – she looked at Jago’s mountainous plate – ‘I’d have to become a brickie to use up the calories.’
‘Well,’ said Gilly, apparently satisfied by this reply, ‘I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve got something I want to tell you.’
Panic ripped through Helena like a lightning bolt. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes!’ said Gilly, laughing. ‘I’m very all right. It’s just William is going to come and live with me, here at Fairacres.’
Relief made Helena suddenly weak. ‘God! Mum! Why all the drama? That’s lovely news.’ She got up and kissed her mother.
‘Yes, it’s great!’ said Jago. He looked at Helena, who shook her head slightly. She wanted to hear all about her mother before telling her about how she and Jago had come back together again.
‘I’m so pleased you’re pleased,’ said Gilly, sounding relieved and a little surprised. ‘I went to see Martin and Cressida last night. He was not impressed by the thought.’
‘Oh, men!’ said Helena. She made a dismissive gesture with a hand that happened to be holding toast and marmalade. ‘He just wants you to stay being his mum forever and not anyone else’s partner.’
‘He summoned your father for backup.’
‘What? Dad?’
‘He’s only got the one father, darling. You and he have that in common.’
‘But why?’ demanded Helena, crunching loudly.
‘For backup. Sebastian wasn’t impressed either. He seemed to think he had rights to this house and could say who lived in it.’
‘That’s outrageous! I do hope you told him where to get off.’
Gilly seemed a little embarrassed. ‘I think he got my drift.’
‘So what happened? Tell all!’
‘More toast, Jago?’
‘Mum! Don’t change the subject. You’re hiding something. What went on?’
Her mother exhaled sharply. ‘I had a bit too much to drink.’
‘What? At Martin’s house? I didn’t think that was possible!’
‘I went into the kitchen. Cressida had a bottle open and I had a quick glass while I was there.’
‘And she allowed that?’
‘She was quite sweet about it actually. She was embarrassed about Martin inviting Sebastian. We shared a moment of solidarity.’
‘But what about the rest of it? And so far, you’ve had a glass of very dry sherry—’ Helena turned to Jago. ‘Martin always gives her very dry sherry. He knows she doesn’t like it. But, Mum, you couldn’t have got drunk on that.’
‘I didn’t actually get drunk, darling. Although I did have at least two glasses of wine at the table – one of them I poured myself so it was nearly full. But too much to drive.’
‘So, you got a taxi home?’ said Jago. ‘Do you want help picking up your car?’
‘I do need help with that, Jago, although to be honest I’d forgotten about my car.’
‘Did you get a taxi?’ asked Helena. ‘Or did Martin or Cressida run you back?’
‘No. I left without telling anyone I was going.’
‘So … you ran away?’ asked Helena slowly.
‘Yes. Your father was really quite angry. I was a
bit …’
‘Frightened? He frightened you! Bastard!’ said Helena. ‘You were worried he’d come after you?’
‘Only briefly. William was here when I got back.’ Ulysses the cat jumped on to her lap. ‘So I had Uly and William to protect me if he had.’
‘My father doesn’t like cats,’ Helena explained to Jago. ‘We got a kitten as soon as the house was properly ours.’
‘I like cats,’ said Jago.
Remembering how they had met, Helena smiled. ‘So do I. But, Mum, why was William here?’
Gilly seemed a bit embarrassed. ‘He was passing and he just called in?’
Helena shook her head. ‘Try again, Mum.’
‘I’d sent him a text while I was in the kitchen at Martin and Cressida’s house. Apparently it gave him the impression all was not well. He didn’t know where they lived so he came here.’
‘Good for him,’ said Jago.
‘So you really don’t mind if William moves in with me?’ said Gilly, who seemed to be a bit obsessed.
‘No, I’m utterly delighted, Mum!’ said Helena and went back to kiss her mother again.
‘And if we had a big party to tell the world what we’re up to, you’d come?’
‘Of course!’
‘Try to keep us away!’ said Jago.
Helena felt her mother had relaxed a bit as she and Jago went through the house with her looking at furniture. Gilly had already put stickers on everything she wanted to get rid of.
‘Can we say yes to everything?’ said Helena.
‘There are some nice pieces here,’ said Jago.
Gilly seemed sceptical. ‘It’s just a load of old junk, really, and very battered.’
‘I like battered,’ said Jago. ‘And I’d like to restore some things.’
‘But do ask Martin,’ said Helena. ‘I’d hate him to think we’d taken everything.’
Gilly cleared her throat. ‘I’ll ask him. I’m not sure any of this is his and Cressida’s style though.’
‘No, but you know what he’s like,’ said Helena. ‘He’ll get cross if he isn’t asked.’
Gilly sighed. ‘He will.’
‘Are you tired, Mum? You must be. We’ll do the car another time. We’ll get out of your hair and let you find an Escape to the Country to sleep in front of.’ Helena hugged her mother. ‘Don’t worry about Martin. He’ll come round eventually.’
But Gilly couldn’t relax. After Helena and Jago had gone, Gilly went out through the front door to dead-head her hanging baskets. She was so happy that Helena was completely relaxed about her living with William, but while Martin was upset about it, she couldn’t properly relax.
She was surprised to see her car parked there. She sighed. Its presence implied that someone – probably Martin and Cressida – had delivered it without coming in to say hello.
All her happiness about living with William melted away, leaving her with a feeling of unease. She and Martin had never been as close as she and Helena for all sorts of reasons but while she didn’t always like him, she did love him very much. The thought of him being upset with her was heartbreaking.
She’d gone against Martin with regard to selling her house and releasing some capital so they could upgrade. And while she hadn’t liked to disappoint him, she knew she was right to stick to her guns and keep the home she loved.
But maybe inviting William into that home was going too far. Maybe it was unfair to Martin when he was so against it, and even if Martin was being unfair, she and William were quite happy as they were – or at least, happy enough. Or perhaps the elegant town house near the shops and restaurants should be considered seriously? Should she throw her lot in with William, sell her home and share out the money?
Even though she made herself think about it, she knew she couldn’t do that. But nor could she do something that would make her son so unhappy.
Before she could change her mind she rang William.
‘I can’t do this,’ she said, the moment he answered.
There was a tiny pause. ‘Can you hold that thought?’ he said. ‘I’m coming to see you.’
‘Could you do that?’ Suddenly Gilly yearned for the comfort of his arms around her.
‘Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be with you in half an hour.’
Gilly was thinking about lunch when William arrived. She couldn’t decide between soup or salad or a sandwich and had half made all three, unable to focus because she was so preoccupied with Martin and his feelings about her living with William. She’d always put her children first and felt that was right. But Martin wasn’t a child any more; was she crazy to put his needs above her own?
She got out her phone, tempted to ring Helena and ask her what she thought but realised it wasn’t fair on her. Helena and Martin didn’t always get on that well and she couldn’t risk making that worse. Then her phone buzzed in her hand. It was a text from William. Nearly there.
Delighted, she put down her phone and ran upstairs to check her make-up and to decide if she was wearing the right thing. She ran down again when she heard his car, and was in his arms before he had a chance to get to the door. She felt her tension and anxiety begin to melt away as he held her and she knew she was in the best place in the whole world.
She let him go reluctantly. ‘Can I make you lunch?’
‘Have you reached a point of no return with lunch? I’d like to take you out.’ He smiled a little questioningly. ‘I’d like to take you gliding.’
‘Oh, I’d love to go!’ she said. ‘And no. I can just fling everything back into the fridge. Although I’d better find a jumper.’
‘You go and find a jumper and I’ll fling everything back in the fridge.’
As she went back up the stairs she felt elated, knowing for certain that she wanted him in her life and her home forever. He was already well established in her heart.
William did a good job magicking away Gilly’s abortive attempts at lunch. Sebastian had never learned where anything went in all the years they were married. She knew it would be very different with William.
‘You look lovely!’ said William and even Gilly, who never realised when she was being complimented, couldn’t mistake the light of love and desire in his eyes. ‘Phone!’ He handed it to her. ‘Now let’s go gliding before we get distracted.’
Gilly was still nervous about gliding but once they were up in the clouds she really did feel she’d left her problems and concerns on the ground. It was another beautiful day, and William had been able to borrow a two-seater glider at short notice. Apparently everyone needed accountants and William did the accounts for most of the gliding club. A couple of phone calls and he had acquired one for the afternoon. He’d told her all this on the way to the club, not letting her tell him he couldn’t move in. They both knew the situation but William felt Gilly could make the decision better with a clear head. ‘Gliding is the perfect head-clearer,’ he said.
And so it proved. By the time Gilly had come back down to earth she had decided that William should move in. But there was still a place in her heart that hurt for her son.
‘I wonder if Martin will come to our party,’ said Gilly while William was driving her home.
‘We’ll ask him – and his wife and daughter, of course – and just see.’
William’s calm manner added to the calm she had gathered while swooping over the landscape.
‘I really hope they do decide to come,’ she said, sounding positive, feeling less so. ‘But we’ll still have fun if they don’t.’
Helena was having tea with Jago the following day when she saw an unknown number calling her. She nearly didn’t answer it but then decided to risk it.
‘Helena? William – your mother’s friend.’
‘Of course!’ said Helena, relieved he wasn’t likely to sell her anything.
‘I wonder if I could ask your help. Could we meet for a drink this evening? I could meet you anywhere that suits you.’
After they had arranged where to meet
, she turned to Jago. ‘That was William. He says he wants my help.’
‘Ah,’ said Jago. ‘I wonder if I know what it is.’
‘Then tell me! I can’t think.’
‘I imagine it’s to do with your brother being unhappy about your mother wanting to live with William in your old home.’
Now Helena understood. ‘Ah. He wants me to try to talk him round.’
‘I expect so. William won’t want Gilly being unhappy about Martin. In theory, he’s a grown-up and should just suck it up. But your mum is very maternal. She won’t want to do anything that makes him unhappy.’
‘You’re absolutely right. But this is her time. She should have a chance of happiness!’
Jago shrugged. ‘She’s very caring.’
‘Too caring,’ said Helena, determined to insist that William did move in if that was what her mother wanted.
Sitting in a wine bar a few hours later, Helena really understood why her mother loved William. He was kind, a good listener but not too full on. He was a slow burn rather than instant conflagration and he obviously cared about Gilly very much.
‘I know that however much she says she’ll put up with Martin being unhappy, she will be miserable,’ William said. ‘However unreasonable Martin is being she’s still affected by it. I’d love to start organising this party with her knowing she has the blessing of both her children.’
‘She does hate it if we fall out and I know she’ll be miserable if she thinks Martin is unhappy about anything she does.’
‘Exactly.’
‘And you want me to try to talk Martin round?’
He had a very endearing smile. ‘Do you think you can?’
Helena shrugged. ‘I’ll certainly try. I think you’re absolutely right about Mum. This should be a very happy time for her. I know she likes you, William. She should be allowed to enjoy that and stop being a mum all the time.’
‘Thank you for being so understanding. You see far more of Gilly than Martin does. Don’t you mind about it?’
Helena shook her head. ‘I was with Mum during the divorce. And before that, I saw how vile my dad could be to her. Martin never saw it. I think maybe Dad behaved a bit better when he was around. Whatever, Martin and Dad are quite close. I don’t really have much to do with my dad.’