by Rita Hestand
Clay's mouth went dry when she stood up and went into the water to rinse herself. She washed her hair, leaning backwards she gathered it in a pile on top her head, and as she did her breast which were small but ample, danced above the water's edge. Clay's mouth went dry. Her nipples were a dark dusty rose color, so pronounced and peaked, they stood pertly, as she rinsed them. She scrubbed everywhere and Clay swallowed hard when she came out of the water. Her figure was something to behold, he stared from her shoulders, to her breasts, then down to her tapering waist to a very flat stomach, and further to the sweet dark mound of hair at her core. Her hips flared, then to her long beautiful legs.
Clay swallowed hard. Dear God, she was so beautiful. He could not have dreamed a more perfect woman. She dried off and stood facing the sun. He admired the sweet curve of her butt too. "Thank you for this beautiful day." She said to the heavens.
God I'm sorry, I shouldn't be watching, but you created this beautiful woman, how can I not appreciate her.
He knew he should move away, but she took Elan again now and took his clothes off and bathed him. He gurgled at the water and she smiled so tenderly into his face that Clay lost complete control of himself. He'd never done that before in his life.
He nearly cursed. Angry with himself for indulging in her privacy, he marched back to the cabin and threw his shirt and pants on the stall gate. "Damn!"
How could he have done that? How could he have ogled her like that. That was a private time for her and her child.
How could he have reacted in such a way. He'd seen naked women before, so what made her so different. Why her?
All day he was in a bad mood and didn't know quite what to think of himself. He was a Christian man, and what he had done was not right. But he couldn't apologize, she never knew he was there.
The guilt plagued him.
"What's wrong with you son, you been fretting all day. Get up on the wrong side of your bed?" Charlie asked that afternoon when Clay's frown wouldn't go away.
"You ever done anything you were ashamed of, dad?"
"Plenty of times. Why?"
"Well, I have too, and I'm angry at myself."
"You want to talk about it?"
"No!" Clay bit his head off with his reply. "I'm sorry, I can't talk about it."
"That bad, huh?" Charlie frowned.
"I'd say so." Clay frowned too.
Charlie shot him a curious glance.
"I'm going to take a bath now."
"A bath? In the middle of the day?" Charlie shot him a look of disbelief.
"Yeah, in the middle of the day."
"Wash it all off, will ya, I don't want to see that grumpy face any more today."
"I'll do my best." Clay muttered.
***
A few days later a man road up into the yard. Charlie and Clay were out on the property, mending fences.
Willa heard his horse neigh; heard his footsteps and she went to the door.
She opened the door slowly but did not move away from it. Something about the man sent a signal to Willa. This man was no good.
"Hello in there," the man called. He was a big, tall man with a bear belly, and a booming voice. He had dark straggly hair and piercing gray eyes. He looked dirty, and the sneer on his face was anything but friendly.
Willa stared from the doorway at him, "Yes, can I help you?"
The man's mouth hung open, his eyes went up and down her, and a strange smile spread over his thick lips. "Well, I thought I was at the right place, don't Charlie and Clay live here anymore?"
"Yes, I am the cook and housekeeper." She explained.
"Is that a fact?" He pushed past her to enter the cabin. Since he was a white man, she didn't know if she should object to him coming inside or not. But she didn’t trust this man either. Something about him sent alarms through her head.
Although she did not appreciate his action, she didn't voice her concern. She knew better. Even though she was accepted as part of the family here, she must always be the servant to strangers.
"They are out in the pasture, mending fences." She told him. "Shall I call them in?"
"No need."
"I think there is much need. You came to call upon them, didn't you?"
He moved closer, she moved away.
The baby cried, and she went to see about him. The man came to the bedroom door and watched her.
She turned around to see him standing in the doorway.
"What do you want?" She asked, fear running up her spine, but keeping her eyes to the floor now.
"Well now, just to get acquainted, that's all." He came closer.
Suddenly Charlie came through the door and saw him. "Ed, what are you doing here?" Charlie didn't look all that pleased to see him. His voice belied the mistrust Willa was feeling.
"Charlie," the man turned around and faced him. "Just trying to get acquainted with your housekeeper. Didn't know you had one. And she's got a baby, too."
Charlie studied Ed for a long moment, then without a flinch he nodded, "That's right, her name is Willa, and she lives with us, her and her baby."
"Well, ain't that nice?" Ed's sarcasm didn't go unnoticed. "When did this happen?"
"A few days ago." Charlie told him. "When her father brought her here."
"Would you like some coffee?" Willa suggested when things got tense.
"Yeah, sure, if you got some." Ed answered. He watched her every move. He glanced from Willa to Charlie.
Willa went to pour them both a cup and set it before them. She moved away from the table and set the kettle back on the stove.
"What's going on Ed, you don't usually come for visits." Charlie asked, as he sipped his coffee calmly, his glance never leaving Ed for a moment.
"That ain't very neighborly, Charlie. Been your neighbor for twenty years, I'd think by now you could at least be civil to me." Ed added, stirring sugar into his coffee as he eyed Willa over the rim of his cup, and the way he eyed her had Charlie bristling.
"This is good coffee, by the way."
"Thank you," Willa replied. She didn’t sit down. She went to check on the baby once more.
"Laura's dad stopped over the other day and told me you had a woman here." Ed seemed to wait for a reaction from Charlie. "But I didn't believe it. So, I came to see for myself. You've been here a long time without a housekeeper and cook Charlie. What's changed?"
As Charlie sipped his coffee, he kept a tight rein on his temper. "Well hell Ed, I didn't put a notice in the paper about it. I figured that was mine and Clay's business." Charlie told him. "However, if you must know, I'm getting too old to work the field and clean the house too."
"You didn't have to put a notice in the paper, Charlie, everyone in town has heard about your squaw."
"My squaw? Now that's an interesting phrase. Laura sure gets around, doesn't she?"
"Well, Clay's more than likely. Is that his kid?" Ed's brow rose in question as a snide smile drifted over his lips.
Charlie's frown spoke for him. "Your drawing a lot of ugly conclusions Ed. I think you've had enough coffee, don't you?" Charlie said eyeing him with precision.
"Look, I'm your friend Charlie, one of the few you got left. You better think that over. The whole town's in a stir over this lady. I heard shots fired the other day. A lot of shots. What's the matter, they want her back?"
"It's time for you to leave, Ed." Charlie told him. "I'll not ask you again."
"Sure, I'll leave, but I'm warning you Charlie. She brings Indian trouble to us, and we'll come out here with torches and burn you out, Charlie." Ed snarled as he stood up.
"Is that a threat?"
"Call it what you like." Ed got up and walked out.
Charlie followed him, "We've fought before to keep this place, we'll fight again, if we have to."
After the man left Charlie came back inside.
Willa stood shocked. "I have caused trouble for you."
"No, you haven't. He's just a noisy neighbor, that's all. With
idle threats." Charlie tried to laugh it off.
"I think he will bring much trouble. He is not a nice man."
"Well your right about that. Look Willa," Charlie turned to see the concern in her face. "We've never been popular people in Rush Creek. But this is our land, and they will not run us off this land. There are some things worth fighting for Willa, even you should realize that."
"Yes, but I am the cause of the fight."
"No, no you're not. Ed is not our friend, he's just our neighbor. He's hated me since I won a horse race from him twenty years ago and bought this place. He wants my land. Always has. You are just something he can complain about. I want you to quit talking about leaving and start thinking about defending yourself against these people that attack you for no reason. You got to fight in this world girl, or you'll die."
She studied him a long moment. "That sounds like something my father would say. Perhaps you are right. My father fought for what he thought was right. I am his daughter; I will fight too." She smiled.
"Good, now you are talking." Charlie nodded.
Later that day Clay came in to put his tools up and saw Willa kneeling over her father's grave to pray. He watched her, fascinated by her actions. It was odd to see an Indian praying. But then, she wasn't exactly Indian, she was a breed, and he was realizing there was a big difference between the two. His dad had told him what happened with Ed, and he was sure Willa was scared now.
He put the bathing incident away, he had to.
"Willa," He called to her.
"Yes," she got up and came toward him.
"Don't let Ed scare you, he's all talk."
"But there will be others." She cried. "Besides, I'm not so sure it's all talk."
"You're probably right." He answered, putting his tools away in the shed, then he looked at her. "Let's put our cards on the table. " He came toward her again. "You are a half breed; the baby is too. People will think what they want. We can't control that, but we mustn't be afraid of it, either."
"I do not understand. What they say is ugly. To even suggest it, is ugly. I do not wish to bring a shame upon you that you do not deserve."
"Willa," He came closer now, staring down into her worried face. "There will always be people that want to cause trouble. Dad and I can take care of it. Don't worry so much. We know what they are thinking is not the truth."
"You are a good man, you and your father both. But I think I should move on."
"Oh, got a place in mind, do you?"
"No," she hung her head. "Not yet."
"Look, you got a baby to think about. You need to find a place to make a home. We're offering you one. Those kinds of offers won't come often. We need you here. Now, I don't want to be blunt, but in this case, I think I have to be. We need to talk about this and put it to rest. There are not many places you can go, that wouldn't make trouble. So, this is as good a place as any to take your stand and live your life. In return you can work right along with us to keep this place. And it takes a lot of work, I'll grant you. It takes blood, sweat and tears to make a home." He pulled her chin around to look into her eyes, "Your part of our family now, you and Elan. People are gonna talk, let them. We know the truth, and it will come out eventually."
Her breath hitched, "Why do you do this for me?"
"We've come to realize we need you." He said simply and started to walk away. "And let's face the truth here, you need us." He walked off, then turned once more with a smile. "So, it's mutual benefits. You got a home for you and your son; we have a cook and housekeeper. And someone who will fight to keep this place going like we do. So why don't you start thinking of this place as home."
"It is difficult to do that so easily. I have not worked to build this home. It is your home."
"Perhaps you are right, but we welcome you here. We do need a cook and housekeeper. We have for some time now."
"That much is true, yes." She smiled.
"So, change your thinking Willa. This is home to you and your baby now!" he walked off, as though the matter were settled.
Why was he fighting so hard now to keep her here? He'd already spent the day praying to God not to lose control around her anymore. But he also faced the fact that he was attracted to her, and that she was a fine woman in more ways than one. Still, she was right, it would cause trouble and he knew it. But he knew he never walked away from trouble before too.
Yet there was something about her, and her child that tore into Clay like no other woman ever had. He had a strange feeling no matter how much trouble it would cause it would be worth it to have her here.
He liked her! It was that simple. She was a hard worker, a good person, and that was the end of it.
***
She stared after him a long time, for his touch sent an unknown feeling through her. A feeling very unfamiliar, a pleasant feeling she didn't want to acknowledge. Yet she understood that feeling too.
The fact that Clay had said he thought of her as a woman now dawned on her. She was very much a woman and very attracted to Clay as a man. And that was the real reason she objected to staying, it would only bring trouble for him. She used the fact that she was Indian and would bring trouble upon them. The real trouble was in her heart.
They had taken her in like family. She must always remember her place here and be grateful. But her fantasies were her own and must be kept that way, she chided herself.
She shook her head; she could not have feelings for this man. It would never work, and she must be strong enough to never acknowledge it. How could this man invade her heart so easily? Still, somewhere deep inside her, she knew it was there. She must never let it grow. Inside, her heart leapt from that feeling, but no one would ever know. If they would give her and her child a home, then she would never bring grief on them or shame.
She wondered about this neighbor. She saw how he looked at her. The fear she felt was not what Clay and Charlie thought. This man could be dangerous to her in another way, but she would not voice that fear. It would seem that too many men looked at her as a woman, and not a breed. But there was a big difference in how this neighbor man looked at her and how Clay looked.
She stared at her child now. He was happy. He smiled, and he liked Clay and Charlie too. But she would teach him to know his place, always. And could she keep herself from falling in love with this man? She wasn't sure, because something in her heart melted at his plea for her to stay.
Chapter Seven
Days passed and Willa let Elan play on the floor almost every day, so he could learn to crawl soon. He rolled around and smiled a lot. He was trying to sit up now, but he had no balance yet and she kept him in his cradle while she worked, so his time on the floor was to learn to do things. Charlie made him a couple of toys out of wood and Elan loved them, chewing on them every day.
He would look at Charlie and gurgle and Charlie's eyes lit up with smiles.
Charlie went to town to buy supplies and brought back seedlings for her to plant in the garden.
She was eager to make a garden. She worked hard to till the soil and make things grow. It kept her busy and she loved feeling the earth between her fingers once more. She had loved working in the garden with her mother. This brought those times to mind. Elan enjoyed this time too, as he loved the outdoors.
The soil was so fertile, and it would make a fine garden, they needed that, too. These men hadn't been eating well for a while and she intended to see they did.
But one day while Clay and Charlie were out in the pasture, Laura came by. It was quite unexpected.
She stood staring at Willa in the garden as she got no answer at the door. "Well," she huffed as she came around the corner of the house and saw her on her knees working there. "It looks as though you've made yourself to home." Laura's voice was rather hostile, but Willa ignored it as she turned to see the beautiful woman standing there staring at her. Laura wore a lovely green silk dress and hat with a feather in it. Laura stared at her with contempt in her eyes.
"The men are in the pasture, I expect, would you like me to get them for you?" Willa asked.
"I didn't come to see them. I came to see you. To warn you."
"I know it is hard to put the past to rest, to forgive, but I ask you to for both our sakes," Willa tried to be pleasant to her.
"Never! What I don't understand is why are you here? Elan must be his son, or you wouldn't be here at all."
"I am simply making a home for me and my son." She told her. "He is not Clay's son. Elan's father died on the reservation."
"Your son, you mean yours and Clay's?"
Willa's gaze narrowed on her now, it was impossible to be friends with this woman. But she knew she must try for everyone's sake. "You will think whatever pleases you. I cannot change that. But Elan is my son, not Clay's."
"Really, you expect me to believe that?"
"No, I do not expect anything from you. But it is your choice, and it is the truth." Willa went back to work, working the soil so it could receive the seeds she wanted to plant. "Elan's father is dead, my father killed him, now I must provide for my son."
"He'll never love you, you’re a breed." Laura challenged.
"Who?" Willa looked up at her.
"Clay, that's who. He may take you, but he'll never marry you." Laura's voice rose. "You're an Indian, he wouldn't dare."
"You are in love with him?" Willa stated calmly.
"Maybe once, but not now!" Laura protested. "Not after seeing what is going on here."
"That is too bad, he would make you a fine husband." Willa remarked. She turned to look at her now. "There is nothing between Clay and me. I am the cook and housekeeper, and that is all. My husband was killed by my father when we escaped from the reservation. That is the truth."
"Your father killed your husband? Well, that's a new one."
"It is the truth. His father was a full-blooded Indian. I was forced to marry him or leave the reservation. Since I had no place to go, I married him."