“I just want Keiko back.” Yasu sounded as pathetic as he looked.
“I understand, Yasu. I really do. I’m here for the same reason.”
He tilted his head, and it struck me how much he looked like a curious, confused owl, with his hair sticking up on end and covered in leaves and dirt.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m here for someone too.”
Yasu lowered the knife. “Did she… did she take someone from you as well?”
I nodded and put my hands down. I was getting through to him. “She did. Someone very important to me.”
“A boyfriend?” He whispered. He so desperately wanted someone to understand his situation. Good news for him; I did.
“No.” I shook my head. “Not a boyfriend. My mentor. My… my best friend.”
“Your best friend…” He scratched the side of his face with the knife and then pointed it towards me again. “Your best friend. How could you hope to understand the pain I feel? Keiko isn’t just my ‘best friend.’ She’s my life! I would do anything for her!”
I held my hands up again. He was reeling out of control, and right when I found something to pull him back. “I understand, I do! My feelings pale in comparison to yours, and she forced you to do such terrible things, I know! I know it wasn’t you, Yasu. You never wanted to do such things!”
“No, I didn’t!”
“The shrine maiden forced your hand. You didn’t have a choice.”
I backed up towards the shrine. I had no idea what awaited inside, or the state of it, but putting something solid between me and Yasu—just in case he went over the edge again—seemed like a good idea.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Nobody can fault you for what you’ve done.” I almost wished the spirits would come back to take away the growing unease in the pit of my stomach. The quiet was unnatural and off-putting. Even the chirp of a bug or the slither of a snake across the ice would let me know that something else was out there, but there was nothing. Not even from the other side. “Anybody else would have done the same thing. I would have done the same, Yasu. I would have. I get it.”
Would I? Would I have abducted girls and brought them to the forest if I thought it would save the person I loved? Innocent girls who had no idea what was going on, or the fate that awaited them after death?
“How many girls?”
Yasu tilted his head again. “I’m sorry?”
“How many girls, Yasu? How many girls did you bring the shrine maiden?”
He shook his head and shrugged. “What does that matter? Two, maybe three. I dunno.”
“Who?” I wanted to know. The girls’ families deserved that much, and if I got out alive, it was the least I could do to help them.
“I don’t know!” Yasu screamed, his rage flaring to life once more. “A little girl, I don’t know! She was on her way to school and I grabbed her! She looked sad and alone, so I grabbed her, okay? And there was another, a teenage girl. She was walking home from work…” His face fell and he looked to the ground, the memories washing over him; the reality of the horrific acts he’d committed. “There was another. A woman at a convenience store.”
My heart skipped a beat. A woman at a convenience store? Mr Fujita said his neighbour’s daughter was discovered dead after going missing from a nearby convenience store.
“What happened to her?”
Yasu looked up. “Someone beat me to it.”
I recoiled at his words. “W-What do you mean, someone beat you to it?”
He shrugged. “I thought she would be perfect. She was alone, it was dark, the number plates on her car were from a different prefecture. I thought she was just passing through on her travels. No-one would notice her gone. She was just the right age, too. The shrine maiden didn’t seem particularly fond of the little girl.” He stopped and looked up at Keiko, hanging still from the branch above him. “She seems to like them a little older.” He turned back to me. “About your age.”
I took another step back. I wondered if I could cover the distance between us and grab his wrist before he knew what was going on. If I could see the girls firsthand, and see the shrine maiden, I could see what Yasu was hiding from me.
“What happened, then? Why didn’t you take her?”
He shrugged. “Like I said, someone beat me to it. I had my cloth ready, the car engine was running, all I had to do was run out and grab her as she exited the store. But as I was about to run, I noticed someone—a man—was with her, so I stopped.”
“A man? Who? What did he look like?”
“I dunno. He had a cap on and got out of his truck. She didn’t seem to know him though. I didn’t stick around to watch either way. The next day I heard about you, the girl with the mysterious ability to find things, and I knew that you were it. You were the one the shrine maiden wanted. You were the one who would free Keiko.”
Cap. Truck. My blood ran cold even as I watched my breath turn into mist before me.
Hiroshi. He wasn’t just a stalker. He was also a murderer, and he was getting away with it because the police were too busy with all the other disappearances.
And I let him go. I had him in my hands, literally. The store itself even tried to keep him there. And I let him go. He was still out there, perhaps already attacking his next victim. What an idiot I was.
A mask settled over Yasu’s face and he raised the knife once more. “We’ve done enough talking. You’re stalling. For what, I don’t know.” He laughed. “We’re in the middle of the forest. No-one will find us unless she wants them to, and when she comes back again next time, I’m going to make sure you’re ready for her to take.”
He leapt, his face distorted like a Hannya mask. I turned and fled towards the shrine just a few metres away. I slid on the rock floor, slick with ice, and turned the first corner I found. The inside of the shrine was exactly what I expected of it; crumbling, overgrown with weeds, and abandoned debris lying everywhere.
“You can’t hide!” Yasu screamed from outside. “There’s nowhere to go in there!”
He was right. The room I entered had no way in or out other than the broken door frame I came through. An old drum sat in the corner, a vine creeping up the side as though to play it itself, and on the other side of the room were a few scattered books. There was nowhere to go. I was trapped.
A scream outside pierced my brain. I covered my ears and backed up into the wall. It was not the shrine maiden’s scream, not this time; it was Yasu.
“No! You promised! Go away!” His voice was close, just outside the entrance, but it was getting further away. “I did as you asked! I brought them all here! You promised me!” There was another scream, followed by footsteps on the ice. Yasu was running. “Leave me alone! Get away from me! Nooooo!”
The forest fell silent. I stepped away from the wall and listened.
Nothing.
I took another step.
No, not nothing. I swallowed.
Wind chimes.
28
How long passed while I cowered in the corner? I held my breath and waited for the shrine maiden to swoop in and claim me, but she never did. Eventually, after what felt like hours (but was in reality probably only minutes) I stood on shaky feet and made my way back to the entrance. I feared the shrine maiden would be waiting there, that sneer on her face like she knew I would appear all along, but there was nothing.
I stepped outside and gasped. Yasu swung from the hanging tree next to Keiko, the rope he attacked me with looped around his neck. They were finally together again, just like the shrine maiden promised him. Together forever.
I was alone. Well and truly alone.
I had to find Sayumi. There was no more time to waste, and as much as I hated the idea—particularly from where I was standing—I knew what I had to do. Sayumi’s brooch sat bundled in my pocket, covered and tucked in tightly at the bottom. I pulled it out and ran a hand over the cloth covering it. The shadows seemed to swarm out of nowher
e, filling the mist around the shrine once more. I couldn’t see them, but I sensed them. They were a safe distance—just in case—but the lure was too strong. Grab it. Go on. Unwrap and let yourself go. You can find her. You know she’s here, it’s just a matter of where. Do it. We’ll even help you.
I checked the area one more time for the shrine maiden. I couldn’t sense her and I had no idea where she had gone, or why, but there would be no better chance. Just for a moment. Just a quick look to see where she was. Then I would let go before anything could happen. The spirits knew I was there anyway, what did a few seconds of opening the door to their world and connecting it to mine matter? I could spend hours searching the forest for Sayumi and get nowhere. Days. Months.
Forever.
I dropped the cloth and clenched the brooch as tightly as I could.
All this time I feared what I would do without Sayumi’s guidance. She pointed in the direction to walk and I followed. She pulled me back when I strayed too far off the track, and she shielded me when something came careening towards us, putting herself in the line of fire at my expense. She took me in when I had no-one else, gave me purpose, and taught me not to fear the gifts I had.
“Don’t follow me.”
When Sayumi left me that day, a day that seemed so many years ago now, I reminded myself that this wasn’t an unusual occurrence and to think nothing of it. I knew how to run the store, I knew that if I kept away from the front after dark that all would be fine, and I knew that Sayumi would return when she was done. All would go back to normal.
And yet, there was one thing that I didn’t know. Something I wouldn’t realise until the world I’d grown comfortable in was ripped out from underneath me. I’d spent so long separating myself from it, isolating myself from the living because I feared the dead, keeping everyone at arm’s length so the same thing wouldn’t happen to them that happened to my parents. It took years to let Sayumi in, to relinquish the fear that one day I would walk in and find her drowning in her own blood in the middle of the room, much like I found my own mother.
Sayumi was never teaching me how to use my gifts. How could she? “You’re the only person I know who can do such things,” she once told me. “It’s amazing. You don’t just sense things, not like I do. You can see them, no matter where they are. You can feel them. You see what they see, hear what they hear. You remember what they remember, and you can differentiate all the different connections that make up the world. What you have is a truly special gift, Mako. I know it scares you. I’d be scared too. I am scared. I can’t imagine what it’s like to see the world like you do, and to have it see you back. But there’s a reason you can, and you should trust in yourself. There’s nothing to fear. You’re not alone, and you never will be. Not anymore.”
Not alone. Even when my parents were alive, I felt alone. After they were gone, I didn’t know what to do. I feared my every touch would bring about the end. If anyone else got close, they would end up like my parents. I pushed everyone away when I needed someone the most, and Sayumi was the only one that kept trying. The only one who believed in me. The only one who trusted me.
She hadn’t been teaching me how to use my gifts. No. She’d been teaching me to let go. To bring down the walls I’d built and let the darkness in. There were scary things out there, things waiting to pull me down into the depths with them. Tired, angry souls who wanted it to end. Fearsome, wrathful spirits with no desire but to see others join them in their pain. Scared, lost souls who wanted nothing more than to find the light again. I shut them all out. None of them would ever hurt me or my loved ones again. But I was no longer a scared, lost child. I was a woman, and the person most precious to me needed my help.
I let them all in.
I was in a box. No, not a box. The walls around me were wooden, but too large to be a box. Thin gaps in the wood allowed me to see outside. It was a building. A small building. A shrine?
Shadows surrounded me. Countless shadows, crying out in pain, pleading for help. They know I can hear them. They need help. They’re lost and they want to get out. I can’t help them. There’s too many and I don’t know where I am myself. How did I get in here? My head throbs. The little girl. Where is she? She was hanging from the tree. I cut her down and then… I push against the walls. Panic rises in my throat. Why won’t the door open? There’s barely enough room for me to stretch my arms out. My head hurts so much. Why won’t they stop screaming? Is it night already? Why is it so dark? I peer through the gaps in the wood. A tree. There are several bodies hanging from it. Mist is rolling in. I’m so tired. Can barely keep my eyes open. Just a little nap. Then I’ll…
They found me. Darkness swirled around my feet and a familiar tug pulled me down, dragging me into the nothingness where they would keep me forevermore. So many of them, more than I could ever hope to count. The souls of every spirit the forest had ever claimed, the souls of the unnamed and forgotten, buried in the temple graveyard, the souls the shrine maiden had summoned and kept trapped within her grasp. They all wanted free. They all wanted a piece of that light that shone within me, and as they clawed at me, scratching and tearing my skin, I screamed. It was not physical pain, but it was the most unbearable pain I’d ever experienced in my life. Like fire running through my veins, every nerve set alight, like being dunked into a pool of ice water, over and over again, no time to recover and more and more frostbite setting in. My limbs were being torn apart, ripped from their sockets as a million tiny hooks found their way into my skull and pulled in each and every direction. They were swarming me, an innumerable mass of pain and suffering, and I was to be another of their numbers.
“No!”
I screamed, and the brooch exploded in my hands. I hit the ground and looked around. I was back. They didn’t get me. My hand stung like I’d grabbed hold of a hot poker and the flesh of my palm singed. On the icy ground below lay the blue stone that was once a part of Sayumi’s brooch. I grabbed the cloth and bent down to pick it up; it was hot to the touch.
“What the hell?”
Sayumi was nearby, locked in an unknown shrine building. Before she blacked out she saw the tree. She was still alive. She had to be.
“Sayumi?” I called out. Spirits swarmed the area, circling me like a wary dog. They almost had me. They were in pain and they wanted out. I knew that much. They were all over me and I was nearly lost to them, but something broke the spell. Something broke the brooch.
I looked up. The shrine maiden floated in the air, smiling. Her hair whipped up like snakes in the air behind her, the black taint of corruption writhing across her clothes and her skin. The spirits howled in unison, a scream of pain and disappointment. They were so close, so very, very close, and they were being denied once again.
And then they were gone.
I ran.
29
The vision showed me the tree Keiko was hanging from. I ran towards the only place the building could be and narrowly avoided colliding face-first with it as the fog lifted. I slid on the ice in shock and smashed into the wall.
“Sayumi!” I got to my feet and banged on the door. “Sayumi, are you in there?” She had to be. I saw her. The hanging tree was the right distance and angle away. “Sayumi!”
I took a step back, lifted my foot, and kicked the door. It took a few more attempts, but finally it burst open and I ran inside. Sayumi lay slumped in a corner, her eyes closed and her chest rising and falling with even breaths. She was alive.
“Sayumi!” I grabbed her shoulders and shook. “Wake up! I’m here! It’s okay now, I’m here! Wake up!”
I pulled her into a hug, unable to stop the tears running down my cheeks. After all this time, she was here in front of me again. I was terrified and excited and relieved. A groan rumbled from her chest and I pulled back. Her eyelids fluttered, then finally opened, and her unfocused eyes glanced around the room.
“M-Mako? Is that you?”
I hugged her again, squeezing her as tight as I could. She coughed
in protest and I let go. “Sorry. Are you okay? Is anything broken? Are you hurt?”
Sayumi shook her head, but her eyes remained unfocused and the look on her face suggested she was unsure of where she was. “What are you doing here?” She cupped my cheek, her eyes blurry.
“I came to find you. You’ve been missing several weeks now. I know you said not to look for you, but a lot has happened since then and—”
Sayumi’s expression dropped. Fear crept up her face and panic flooded her eyes. She looked around frantically and grabbed my face. “Did they get you too?”
“Did who get me?”
She looked over my shoulder, out the open door. “They’re out there. You can feel them, can’t you?”
“The spirits?”
She nodded.
“Of course I can, but—”
She ran her hand over my face, checking my eyes like a doctor and pinching my skin.
“Ow, Sayumi, stop that. It hurts.”
“We’re not dead?”
I shook my head and patted her shoulder. “We’re alive. You’re safe. But if we don’t get out of here, and soon, that might change very quickly.”
“I don’t remember what—”
“It’s okay. We can worry about that later. First, let’s get out of here.”
I helped Sayumi up and stuck my head around the door. The forest was too foggy to see anything. I sensed spirits on the peripheries, but they were silent; watching and waiting. I had no idea where the shrine maiden was, but the forest was silent. That had to be a good sign.
Jukai (The Torihada Files Book 2) Page 12