by Lynn Jaxon
“Sounds good to me,” say both Marley and Henry. “I’ve never been, so I’m game,” I say.
“Who’s driving?” asks Henry.
“I can drive. You will just have to give me directions, or I can put it in the navigation system.”
“No need for that.” Marley pipes in. “It’s just a few miles down the road. I eat there at least once a week. I never get tired of it. I haven’t eaten there this week, so I am ready.”
When we get there, they are packed. It is a Saturday night after all, so I’m not surprised. We go and wait at the bar. Mitch and Henry look to me before they order a beer. I nod my head to let them know that it’s okay. I order a water with lime and Marley orders a glass of wine. Mitch is in the middle of telling us about his mock trial he had the other day when the hostess tells us our table is ready. We are quickly seated, and I pick up the menu to see what I want to order. They are right, so many choices. I order the Caprese Melt and crawfish bisque. Marley orders the Ragin’ Cajun with a side salad. Both boys do a build your own with so many meats and cheeses I can’t name it all. We share two orders of sweet potato fries for an appetizer.
Marley groans, “I’m so stuffed. You’re going to have to roll me out of here.”
“You mean you have no room for dessert?” I say.
“You guys can go ahead, but I’m D-O-N-E done.”
We are stuffed, too so we all pass on the dessert. They look decadent, so I will have to bring Marley back one day for lunch, and we can split a sandwich and dessert.
We are back at Marley’s in no time at all. Henry is looking anxious in the back seat. I think he has a certain redhead on his mind. I decide to mess with him and say, “Come in and let’s play cards. After my nap I bet I can play all night long.” Henry hates cards, for one, and two I know he is chomping at the bit to go and see Kristi.
“Dad,” Henry all but whines, “You know I hate playing cards. I have never liked cards. Not even Old Maid or Go Fish when I was a kid. Nothing has changed. I still hate cards.”
“I’m just messing with you. I know you hate cards. Go and have fun with Kristi. Just be sure and wrap it up! I’m too young to be a grandfather.”
“OMG, you did not just say that to him,” Marley chides.
“You’re such a jerk, Dad.” Mitch laughs. “But you hit the nail on the head. I need to run, too. I have a hot date with a first year at the library. I’m going to help her memorize some of the landmark cases.” He winks.
“I’m sure you are, son. I’m sure you are. Take the same advice I just gave your brother. I love you, boys. Be here at ten o’clock in the morning for a run. We just have one week until the big race. I need to see what you’ve got.”
I stand in the driveway and watch them drive away. I have really missed them. I’m going to have to live with my shame of putting my own grief before the wellbeing of my children. I’m just glad that I’m here now before I ruined the strong father-son bond we share. Marley is standing next to me. She bumps her shoulder into mine and says, “You’ve got some really great young men. You and Em did an amazing job raising them.”
“It was their mother. She was the best mother in the world. I still miss her every day Mar, but the pain is getting less and less. I just want you to know that your support is a big reason why I am here.” I reach over and take her hand and we walk to her door with our fingers entwined. I release my grip only so she can unlock the door.
“Can I get you some coffee, Ben?” Marley asks as she kicks off her killer heels and walks into the kitchen. She looks so pretty in dark skinny jeans and an aqua blue, off the shoulder, silk shirt and heels. “Did I tell you how pretty you look tonight?”
Marley blushes and subtly shakes her head. “Thank you. I’m just wearing jeans, nothing special.”
“Marley, you make everything you wear look special. Even that green robe.” I can’t help but laugh, and she laughs with me. “I had fun with you tonight. I’ve gone out a few times with Alan and the guys from the gym, but this was nice. We will have to go there again soon.”
“I had a great time too, Ben. I always enjoy spending time with Mitch and Henry and having you here is the icing on the cake. Do you want to come into the living room and watch some T.V. or a movie? We can be ‘Slingers’ and find something on there to watch.”
“Did you say you wanted to be a swinger? What aren’t you telling me Mar?”
She laughs so hard at me; she can hardly talk. “Slinging is a new way to watch T.V. instead of cable.”
“I guess I’ve been living under a rock. I have never heard of that.”
“Sounds like you need to get out of that hole. Do you want some creamer and sugar for your coffee?”
“Black is fine. Thanks, Mar.”
Marley starts to yawn halfway through the second movie. It is getting late. She didn’t have a nap like I did. She lays her head on my shoulder and is asleep within minutes. I slowly lower her head into my lap and gently rub my hands in her silky chestnut hair. She smells like citrus and sunshine. I scoop her up in my arms, carry her to her room, and lay her on the bed. As much as I don’t want to wake her up, I need to. I don’t want her to sleep in her tight jeans. I would just take them off, but that is not my place.
I lean over and whisper in her ear, “Mar, sweetheart, wake up and get on your night clothes. I don’t want you to sleep in your jeans. I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams, beautiful Marley.
She reaches up and touches my face. “Good night, Ben. See you in the morning.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Marley
Ben was such a gentleman last night. He carried me to my room and then gently woke me up so I wouldn’t sleep in my clothes all night. I slept like a baby last night after I put on my nightgown and slid under the covers. I feel refreshed this morning, even though I barely slept six hours.
I get up and go into the closet to get my running clothes, and I see the purse that Em gave me for Christmas. I haven’t been able to bring myself to carry it because it is too painful but I decide here and now that I need to. Em bought it for me to use, not keep in a closet. I pull it down from the top shelf and hug it to my chest. I take it to my bed and grab the purse I’ve been using off my nightstand so I can switch them out. I unzip the one from Em and see an envelope sitting inside. My name is written on the envelope in Em’s handwriting. My chest feels heavy as I pull out the letter that is inside.
Marley,
If you’re reading this, I have probably lost my battle. I feel pretty confident that it will be months, if not longer before you find this letter. You just can’t bring yourself to carry this purse because it makes you sad. Well, snap out of it. I didn’t buy you this damn purse for you to leave it in your closet.
I know I told you over and over how much it means to me that you’re here with me, helping make my final days as good as they can be. You’ve been such a rock for me and the boys. I know you’re trying with Benson and he is being such an ass. I told him as much in his letter. You are both getting this because you both mean so much to me.
I’ve already asked you to look out for Benson and make sure he doesn’t forget to live. But my hope is that you too will learn to live and find the love that you deserve. I think my Benson is perfect for you. You know I always said that I was so glad that I was already married to Benson when we met because you two are so much alike and have so much in common. I pray that he has opened his heart up to you and is letting you in. Be patient with him. He is so worth the wait. I told him to move on. I want you both to be happy, and I pray you two find it in each other.
Thank you for loving the boys and me. I have already spoken with them before I wrote these letters and they are in agreement that Benson needs to find love again. They, too, hope he finds it in you.
I love you, friend.
Always,
Em
I can’t stop the tears that are falling down my face. I must be sobbing audibly because Ben is knocki
ng on my door with concern lacing his voice as he says, “Mar, speak to me. Are you okay?” More knocking on the door and soft, concerned pleas from Ben. “Marley, please say something.”
“I’m okay, Ben. Just give me a second, and I’ll be right out.” I hug the letter to my chest and then put it carefully back into the envelope.
I open the door and Ben is leaning against the wall with a look of concern on his face. He looks down and sees the envelope in my hands, and then a look of understanding crosses his face. “So, you found a letter from Em, too.”
Chapter Forty
Benson
Marley’s sobs are breaking my heart. I pull her into me and rock her gently in my arms. At first, it scared the crap out of me and then I just knew. I knew with everything in me that she, too, had found a letter from Em. She has a way of making connections. I have no doubt that she is up in heaven masterminding this entire thing and I love her for it.
Marley sniffs, pulls her head off my chest and looks into my eyes with her beautiful, blue tear-filled eyes. “You already found your letter?” she questions.
“Yes, Mar. I found it about two weeks ago in my bible. Knowing my wife, like I do, I wasn’t completely surprised. She knows us both inside and out, and I have no doubt that the matchmaking wheels started turning in her head the minute she heard the word inoperable terminal cancer.”
“She was always such a planner, wasn’t she?” Marley speaks through more unshed tears.
“Yes, she was. When you’re ready, I will happily share my letter with you. I don’t want you to feel pressure from our matchmaker in heaven. I do have feelings for you, but I don’t know exactly how to process them. If all this makes you uncomfortable, I can get a hotel for the rest of the week.”
“No!” Marley says emphatically. “You will do nothing of the sort. You’re my friend, and I want you here. I will not sit here and lie and say that I don’t have feelings for you. That would be impossible. You’re a remarkable man. Like you, I don’t know how to process how I’m feeling either. Let’s just keep things as we have been and see where it goes.”
“That sounds like a good plan to me. Do you still feel up to our run with Mitch and Henry? I can call and tell them you aren’t feeling well if you want to stay home.”
“I will be fine. I need to run. It is a good release for me. I’m going to jump in the shower and wash these tears down the drain. I will be as good as new when I get out. We have plenty of time before we need to meet the boys at ten. Let’s go get a coffee and bagel before we meet them. I will be ready by eight forty-five.
Marley turns and goes into the bathroom. The lingering scent that is uniquely Marley hangs in the air. Mango and pineapples are quickly becoming one of my favorite scents. When I hear the water turn on, I go into the living room and wait.
A few minutes later, Marley comes out with her long chestnut hair pulled up into a messy bun, and she is dressed in the hottest running outfit, that is molded perfectly to her luscious body. I hope I don’t run into a tree today. It’s going to be hard to keep my eyes focused ahead of me instead of on her tits and ass. I’m sure I will want to rip somebody’s eyes out before this day is over.
When I smile up at her, I pray I don’t have drool on my chin. “Did the shower help? You look beautiful, by the way. I’m going to have a hard time keeping my eyes off you.”
“I look a mess, Ben. My hair is knotted on my head, and I have on no makeup but thank you for saying I look beautiful. Are you ready to go get some breakfast? All that crying got me hungry. We need to carb up. I want to run at least ten miles today.”
“I’m ready if you are. Ten miles, seriously. You know we will end up having to carry Henry the last few miles.” I laugh.
“Don’t be mean. I think Kristi is coming too, so there is no way he will be shown up by his old man.”
“Who are you calling old? I’m just getting good and broken in.” I bump hips with her and pull her into my arms for a hug. “Let’s go get some coffee and grub.”
I was planning on going to the Bagel House for breakfast, but as I approached a Starbucks something caused me to pull in there instead. As I turn in, a sadness enters my chest. This was mine and Em’s place. Should I have gone somewhere else? No, I think she wants me here. Em, is really making herself known today.
Marley places her hand on my knee and says, “Are you sure you want to do this? I know this was y'all’s place.”
Hearing her say ‘y’all’ just makes me smile. I just love her southern accent. “Definitely, I think Em wanted us to come here. I don’t know how to explain it, but the pull was so strong.”
“Well then, let’s not let Em down. I need some coffee!”
“Me too, beautiful. Me too.”
As soon as I open the door, we hear the familiar sound of “Welcome to Starbucks.” This, of course, isn’t Em’s Starbucks, but just the smell of the coffee and the friendliness of the employees takes me back to all the times we have enjoyed just being together here. I think she wants me to experience that with Marley too.
I am jolted out of my memory by the barista. “What can I get you to drink, sir?”
Sir, that makes me feel so old. I give her my devilish smile and place my order. “I’ll have a coffee black, cinnamon raisin bagel and the ham, cheddar and pepper Sous Vide Egg Bites. What would you like Mar?”
“I’ll have a grande nonfat white chocolate mocha and a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Thanks, Ben.”
It is such a beautiful morning, so we go outside to eat on the patio. The patio is a great place to people watch and not be as obvious.
“What are you looking at?” asks Marley.
“Look at that couple that just walked in. You see how they are holding hands and can’t stop touching or keep their eyes off each other? I bet this is a new love. They are all giddy. Look at that couple over there in the corner. The man has his head buried in the paper, and his wife keeps trying to get his attention. She finally reaches up and slaps the paper down out of his face. I’d say they are long timers. I just think it’s fun to watch people.”
“Creeper much!” Marley laughs.
“Oh, eat your breakfast and stop raining on my parade.” Joking and laughing with Marley feels good. Each minute I spend with her makes my heart feel a little lighter.
I look down at my watch and see that we have been here for over an hour watching people and talking about everything and nothing. “It’s just a few minutes before ten. We better get going. I don’t want the boys to think we’re not coming.”
“Do you really think they will be right on time? They are too much like Em, always running late. Besides, they went out last night and probably had a little too much to drink.”
“You don’t think they are drinking too much, do you? I don’t want my stupid choices to have affected them.”
“Ben, they are grown men. They make their own choices. But to answer your question, no, I don’t think they are drinking too much. These past six months don’t define the whole of your life, and it most definitely doesn’t define the example you set for your sons. So, come on, let’s go get our run on and show those young whippersnappers how it’s done.”
“Whippersnappers? Seriously Mar.”
We pull up at the park at just a few minutes past ten. Henry is there with a stunning redhead. Mitch pulls in right behind us. I wait for Mitch to join and then ask, “You boys up for ten miles?”
“Does a southerner like sweet tea?” asks Henry.
I stick my hand out to Kristi and say, “You must be Kristi. I’m Benson Davis. It is so nice to meet you. I hope you’re keeping Henry in line.”
Kristi smiles and says, “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Davis. I’m sure trying.”
“Please, call me Benson. Mr. Davis makes me feel like an old man.”
“You are an old man!” Mitch says and slaps me on my back.
“I’ll make you think old man when you’re eating my dust.”
Marley’s swe
et laughter comes, and she says, “You’ll all be eating my dust. Now let’s go stretch and then get our run on.”
We all have the best time jawing back and forth while we run at a steady pace. We are not trying to run a race but just set a pace. Two hours later we’re all sweaty, hot, and dying of thirst. My water bottle was gone by mile six. Henry goes to his car and pulls out five bottles of sports drink from his cooler. Look at him thinking of everything to impress his woman.
“Great job everyone. I think we are going to kick this half marathons ass next week. Anyone up for some lunch?”
Chapter Forty-One
Marley
That was so much fun. I feel immensely better than I did before the run. My tears from this morning are long forgotten. I could run with Ben every day. His stamina is so effortless, and he is able to carry on a conversation at a pretty steady pace.
“I think a salad would be delicious right now. What about you, Mitch, Henry, Kristi?”
“I have a test to study for. Summer classes are the worst. I think I will just pick up something on the way home,” Mitch says. “By the way, you two old farts have quite the agility and speed. Color me impressed. Love y’all.”
“Since when did my kids start saying things like y’all? Mar, you have completely turned them into southern boys.”
“Hey, that’s never a bad thing, is it Kristi?”
“Oh no, not at all. I just love me a southern man. All slow drawl and southern charm. It just makes me swoon.” She laughs and then winks at Henry.
“Are you getting that from this guy over here?” Ben throws his thumb to the side at Henry. “He’s only lived in Arkansas for a few years. I am more than sure he is swoon-worthy because, just look at his dad.” Ben winks, and I just melt.