“I find that hard to believe.” She clenches her teeth in response. Somebody hurt her and the thought makes anger burn inside me. “Whoever told you that is an asshole. Can I help?” I ask her. “I’m a good listener.”
“My mom has breast cancer.” She swallows hard again, keeping her eyes on the ceiling.
“I’m sorry, Nalani. Did they catch it early?”
“Yes, but that’s not the worst of it. They caught it early because she has regular screenings. Her older sister died of breast cancer. She was only 46. Their mom had it as well.”
“Shit. That sucks. What does that mean for you?”
“That’s the million-dollar question. They’re pushing for me to get the genetic testing, to know for sure.”
“Do you want that?” I can’t help myself; I reach across and weave her fingers into mine. The need to touch her too great to ignore.
She grips my fingers tightly. Her voice sounds small, unsure. “I don’t know. I want to pretend I don’t need it. I want to go on acting like everything is fine, that I don’t have to worry about the high cost of the test or maybe dealing with cancer with my awful insurance. I don’t want to have to decide, at 26, if I should preemptively remove parts of my body, or whether or not I want to have children. It’s all too much. My instinct is to bury my head in the sand.”
“I’m so sorry. That’s a lot for one person to deal with. I can’t even imagine being in your place and having to wade through such hard decisions.” I don’t even know her, not really, but I want to make her feel better, even protect her. More than that, I don’t want tonight to end. I’m struck with sudden inspiration. “Here’s what I suggest, and you can feel totally free to refuse outright: let’s go to sleep. It’s super late. Or super early. Either way, I’m sure you’re exhausted. I know I am. I reserved the room for the whole weekend, intending to play tourist by myself. Let’s sleep in, order up a big breakfast, and avoid real life. Would you hang out with me this weekend, Nalani? No expectations, no pressure. We can have fun acting like a couple of tourists in Waikiki. Take a break from reality.”
She stifles a yawn with the back of her free hand. “I’m not sure what it is about you that makes me feel safe, but yeah. I’d like that.”
10
Nalani
I wake up around 10, amazed I’ve slept so late. It had to have been close to 4 when we stopped talking, but I’m usually a morning person. And this is a strange situation. I didn’t expect to sleep so well next to a virtual stranger. I peek over at Ames. He is stretched out next to me, scrolling on his phone. He’s already dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of charcoal shorts, probably those submersibles that are super popular here. When you live in Hawai‘i, you truly never know when you might end up at the beach. Having nice looking shorts that can double as a swimsuit is a staple wardrobe piece for most guys. I suddenly feel quite naked in his undershirt he gave me to sleep in. He’s a good 8 inches taller than I am, but he’s not a huge guy and I’m not exactly swimming in it. I move, trying to make sure nothing is exposed, and Ames puts his phone down.
“Morning! How’d you sleep?”
“Good. I’m not normally the type to sleep in like that. I guess I needed it.”
“We were up really late! We should probably call down and order breakfast. I think they stop serving it soon. You can shower or get dressed or whatever you want while we wait. I called down and had a toothbrush and some toiletries sent up for you. Oh, and I plugged your phone in.” I’m not used to being seen and taken care of. It’s unexpectedly nice, leaving a warmth spreading from my center out to the very tips of my fingers.
We both decide we want the kalua pork eggs benedict and Ames offers to call in the order while I’m in the bathroom. I’m glad I was running late yesterday and had to change into my dress at the club — I have something else to wear today besides my nice dress. I feel better being clean and wearing a full outfit that doesn’t smell like Ames. He smells good. Really good. But it’s distracting.
We eat our breakfast out on the balcony with the view of the ocean in front of us. We can see Diamond Head and out across the jeweled Pacific Ocean. I’m sure this should feel weird, but it doesn’t. I feel good around Ames. I’m not even halfway through my meal, eating carefully and savoring every bite when he drops his fork onto his empty plate, metal clattering on porcelain, and sets it aside. I must look as startled as I feel because Ames chuckles.
“Sorry, I got into the habit of inhaling my food at OCS.” I wrinkle my eyebrows. I’m not good with all the military acronyms. Noticing he clarifies, “Officer Candidate School. Like boot camp for officers. We didn’t have much time during meals, and there were a lot of ridiculous rules to follow. Rules for the sake of following rules. Ever since, I haven’t been able to break the habit. I eat fast. Please, keep enjoying yours. You don’t need to keep up with my pace anywhere.”
Clearly he doesn’t mean where my mind immediately goes. I can picture perfectly a time when I would not only need but want to keep up with his pace. This weekend may not end up as easy for me to glide through as I initially thought. He’s too good looking and I’m too aware of him. I take another bite of my ube hash browns and try to steer my mind away from the image of Ames’ naked body over mine, setting the pace. Get a hold of yourself, Nalani!
His rich voice interrupts my thoughts. “Tell me, what’s something down here, in O‘ahu’s tourist central, that you haven’t done? Or would like to do again? Anything at all. We have two days ahead of us and nothing but time.”
“There’s the zoo. I haven’t been there since I was a kid. Or Waikiki Beach. I’ve never actually hung out there. Or we could hike Diamond Head. Although maybe, if that’s something you want to do, we should plan on doing that tomorrow, bright and early, before it gets too crowded and hot.”
“Excellent! Let’s do all of those. How about we hit the zoo first?” His enthusiasm is contagious. He pulls his phone from his pocket, typing something. “It’s not even a mile down there, do you want to walk?”
I finish my breakfast and we do exactly that, walking to the Honolulu Zoo. He takes my hand, and it feels natural to be holding hands with Ames, strolling along a sunny sidewalk in Honolulu. Never mind that we haven’t even known each other for 12 hours, everything seems right. I like that he holds my hand whenever possible. I’ve never had a guy treat me like this before and I could get used to it. I try to pay, reasoning that my kama‘aina discount is best, but the military discount is the same and Ames gets his card out first.
“Hey! I was trying to pay for our tickets!”
“My mama would have my hide if I didn’t pay for our first date! You don’t want me to disappoint my mama, do you?” Ames flashes me that smile, all straight teeth and bright, crinkling eyes.
“You said last night was our first date!” I argue. “I think it’s acceptable for me to pay for the second date.”
“A Southern gentleman’s dating rules are a little bit different. You’re probably not used to it, dating in Hawai‘i.”
I giggle. “You win. Show me all of your ‘Southern Gentleman’ dating moves.”
“Prepare to be wowed,” he takes my hand again.
Once inside Ames grabs a map, opening it up and taking charge. “What do we do first? Should we start clockwise or counterclockwise? What’s the most important exhibit for you? I don’t want to miss anything.”
I take the map from him, fold it up carefully and stick it in my bag. “No plans, Mr. Cabot. We’re not going to map out a plan of attack or make the most efficient route through the exhibits.”
“We’re not?” He gets a little worry wrinkle on his forehead. It’s adorable.
“Nope. You don’t have to be in charge here or control all the variables. We’re going to take it slow. We’ll meander. Don’t worry, I’m quite good at it, I’ll make sure you get the hang of a good Hawaiian stroll. This is a Saturday morning date. Our only plan is to take our time and enjoy the zoo together. Think you can handle that?”
He gives me a small salute and lightly kisses the corner of my mouth. I gasp.
“Sorry.” His face drops like I chastised him. “I’ll do my best not to overstep. I’m yours to lead, Miss Kimura.”
I wish I hadn’t gasped. I didn’t mean for him to think a teensy kiss is overstepping, but I was caught off-guard and the touch of his lips to mine was like a shock to my system. I begin to consider that the best way to show him is to initiate my own kiss but, as usual, I’ve spent too much time thinking and the moment has passed. Now we’re quickly nearing I’ve-made-things-awkward territory. Maybe I can try later. I start walking, leading us around the first curve towards the flamingos.
We spend two hours wandering through the zoo. Ames coos over the animals, keeps the conversation flowing, and talks easily with other visitors we encounter. Hearing a familiar accent, he introduces himself to a family visiting from Tennessee. He gets them to take our picture in front of the lemurs and has to beg off a lunch invitation. Tennesseans sure are a friendly bunch, not unlike Hawaiians. This feels very date-like.
By the time we wind our way back to the front gate we’re hot, our feet are dusty, and I’m wishing I had packed some water. Ames switches sides so he’s walking next to the street, taking my other hand in his. I’m not even sure he’s aware he did it, his protective nature is that engrained. He keeps doing these little things that make me feel so safe and seen. He wasn’t exaggerating about the Southern gentleman thing. It’s so sweet.
We’re almost back to the hotel when he pulls us into a swimwear store. The air conditioning feels perfectly frigid on my warm skin, causing me to erupt into goosebumps.
“Why are we here?”
“Part two of our Saturday date! I’m going to get you a suit and then we’re going to go to the pool. We’ll have lunch and relax. Pick something out. If it makes you more comfortable, I can hang out here until you’re ready to check out.”
In a classic Nalani conundrum, I freeze.
Do I want to model swimsuits for him, asking him which he likes best?
Or is that too forward? I probably couldn’t pull that off anyway. I’d end up embarrassing myself.
What if I hate them all and feel self-conscious, and he reads too much into it and gets his feelings hurt?
Decision fatigue is setting in and I feel anxious, realizing I’ve been standing in the middle of the store while he watches me. I look up at him, internally melting into an embarrassed puddle on the floor.
“How about this: I’ll let you browse a bit. I’m going to look at the trunks over here. Holler if you need me, otherwise I’ll meet you back at the register.” He smiles as he walks away, as if I’m not a complete and utter embarrassment.
I try on a handful of suits, but everything feels wrong. I’m on the verge of tears because I feel ridiculous. What is wrong with me? I’m doing it again. It’s like my super-power. I take a perfectly wonderful time and ruin it. I’m afraid the longer I’m in here the worse it’s going to get until I ruin the whole day and not just this shopping trip. Be brave, Nalani. I stick my head out of the curtain, thankful that we’re currently the only ones shopping.
“Ames?” I see his head pop up between racks and he jogs over to me.
“What’s up, Darlin’?”
I’d swoon if I wasn’t such an anxious mess right now.
“I can’t do this.” I bite my lip, tears threatening again.
“What can’t you do? The date? Do you want to leave?” He looks worried, but like he’s trying to be cool with it. He’s so fucking considerate and that makes me want to cry even more.
“No, no, no. I can’t pick out a suit. Everything feels wrong! I don’t want you to think I’m trying to pull off some swimsuit store seduction, asking you to tell me what looks good or something. I’m not that smooth. Trying on swimsuits is always torturous, and as a date activity, it may be even worse!” The rhythm of my speech is speeding up and I’m dangerously close to rambling territory. “I’m trying, but I don’t know what’s bothering me about them, and I’m taking up too much of our time with this! We should already be at the pool!”
“First of all, we have all the time in the world. Take as much as you need, no rush. It’s totally fine!Now, can I see? I’m very good at making decisions, I’m sure I can help.” I give him my hand and he pulls me out from behind the curtain. “What don’t you like?” He’s studying me like I’m an interesting object, not a woman he’s attracted to. Oddly, it helps.
“I’m not sure. I don’t think it looks good, but I don’t know why. If I’m going to wear a bikini on a date, I don’t want to spend the whole time feeling self-conscious and questioning whether I look ok or not.”
He squeezes my hand reassuringly. “You look more than ok, Nalani. But if you don’t feel like you do, that’s a problem. Here, I have an idea.” He calls over the salesgirl. She looks quite happy to be talking to him. I feel a surge of jealousy, but he doesn’t even notice the way she’s looking at him. He puts a possessive hand on my hip, angling his body towards me, and my heart lifts. Maybe I can trust that he actually likes me.
“Hi,” he looks at her name tag, “Kenzie. Nalani looks great in everything, but she doesn’t feel good in this suit. You obviously have a really good eye for this sort of thing,” he says as he gestures to her fashionable outfit, “and we could use your excellent taste. What do you think isn’t working here?” Wow, he is good. She straightens under his praise and eyes me professionally.
“Hmm, you’re thin, have great legs, and a nice figure, but you’re on the small side. Petite, I mean. You should play up her strengths. This suit is cutting you in the wrong places.” She purses her lips, studying me. “I’d choose something that complements your pretty olive skin tone and looks feminine and delicate. Not sporty. This suit is making you look juvenile. I’m not a fan.” She spins her hand in the air and I turn around, not even questioning whether I should. “Wow! Great ass!” I can feel my cheeks heating up in embarrassment.
“She is beyond beautiful.” Ames says, making me feel less objectified. “What would you suggest?” I have no idea how to deal with all the compliments. I want to hide. Or maybe I’ll just own it and act like this is totally normal since we’re clearly in an alternate universe. That’s the only explanation for this weekend so far.
Kenzie signals us to wait a moment and goes to the racks, coming back a minute later with an emerald green one piece. “I know it’s not a bikini, but I think this is the one. Try it on and prove me right!”
I change and know immediately that Kenzie was spot on with her choice. The one piece has a deep plunging front that manages to make my small boobs look good. The top is almost high enough to be a halter, but it twists around back, the straps leading down to a low back. The bottom doesn’t cut too high on my hips but it scoops up over my butt cheeks, enough to take it from a boring one piece to straight sexy. I feel confident. In a swimsuit! Frankly, that’s as shocking as a real-life Ken doll being into me.
“Nalani?” Ames calls. “How do you feel? Can we see?”
I step out and his jaw drops. Like, gaping mouth, eyes wide, pinch me kind of a reaction.
Kenzie beams. “I told you! This is the one. Show us the back.”
I turn slowly, watching Ames over my shoulder. He swallows hard.
“Kenzie, are you allowed to accept tips? Because you are really good at your job.”
I finish turning and Ames steps forward, taking my hand and spinning me in a circle again before leaning in to whisper in my ear. “You look incredible, Nalani. I’m debating whether we should go ahead and buy that other lame suit instead. This one is doing things to me that are not suitable for the public.”
I know I’m blushing, and butterflies seem to be residing permanently in my stomach. He’s staring at me, the blue of his eyes darker. I act before I can talk myself out of it and press my lips to his. I’ve never initiated affection before. The tiny act of daring makes me feel almost giddy. His hand had bee
n resting at my lower back and it tightens around the straps of my suit. My blood feels like lava pumping through my veins. And all over a teensy peck! “I’ll change,” I whisper, pulling back.
“No need,” Kenzie interrupts, causing Ames to step back as if he forgot we weren’t alone. “I’ll pull off the tag and you can put your shorts on over it. Are you getting a suit as well?” She asks him.
It’s easy to wonder if she just wants to see him in a suit, but I don’t even mind at this point. It’s clear he hasn’t given her a moment’s thought.
“Good call, Kenzie. Let me find something right quick,” he addresses me, “and we can go straight to the pool instead of changing in our room.” Our room. Why does that make me feel so good?
He picks out some plain, Navy blue swim shorts, without any modeling, much to the disappointment of me and Kenzie, and comes out of the dressing room wearing them and his t-shirt with the tag in hand. He pays, makes a show of dropping some cash in the dressing room for Kenzie, and we finish our walk to the hotel.
Watching Ames grab us pool loungers and get ready to swim is like something from a romantic movie fantasy reel. I swear every female in a two-block radius is watching him, but he never notices. He puts our stuff down and pulls off his t-shirt like I’m not over here in danger of my new suit melting off my body. Knowing he was fit and seeing it in front of me, shirtless, are two very different things. Every inch of him is perfect, from his broad shoulders to his narrow waist with that deep V shape leading down to other things I’d like to ogle. He has a geometric and intricate black compass rose tattoo on his inner bicep that I suddenly want to trace with my fingers. Or tongue. Since when am I so horny, I can’t control my thoughts? Yeesh.
Like a Good Wife (Oahu Naval Officers Book 2) Page 4