by H. J. Bellus
My jaw ticks and soon I’m grinding my teeth out of frustration. I had every intention of talking to her this morning. I have no idea how our talk is going to go, and I sure as shit wasn’t going to have it head south and have her present herself to these vultures afterward. She needs to remain focused on the task.
She smiles but doesn’t quite make eye contact with me as she takes the podium. Her parents both take a seat in the front row. Calla seems calm, while Cain looks as if he’ll slice someone in half if they say the wrong thing.
Justice begins with a blanket statement about how excited she is for the upcoming season and how well the team is doing. She talks about different players, the coaches, and her family’s excitement.
When she opens the floor for questions, they don’t waste a second about slamming her with a question right off the bat, and it’s not about the Idaho Diamonds.
“Ms. Bexley, do you have a comment about the article on the front of the Idaho Statesman?”
She squares her shoulders, and it takes everything inside of me to remain seated. My vision blurs with violent rage.
“No, I do not. I’m here to talk football and suggest if you want your questions answered based on football and this team, you ask one, or I’m moving on.”
Most of them won’t listen; these people will push her until she either caves or walks away. Another reporter wins out over the roar of questions. “Is it true that you and Liam Blake dated for a year in college?”
“Again, I’m more than happy to answer any question about football. We here at the Idaho Diamonds have one focus, and that’s on the field.”
“Really? Because our sources say otherwise. You dated, you left, and now you were spotted together. You claim you care about this sport and the fans. Don’t you think you owe them some information about your relationship?”
“I owe them the ability to bring the best, and that’s what I’ll do.”
It doesn’t stop. They’re predators after weak prey. Or at least that’s what they think. The joke is on them because Justice Bexley is the most determined person I know.
“Liam.” A reporter waves for my attention, causing me to lean toward the microphone. “Any comments on the kiss outside of Whiskey Jacks?”
I pretend I’m in the red zone about to throw a pass to win the game. I focus on what’s important and not what’s pissing me off.
“Preseason starts next week. Our team is strong. The management did one fine job recruiting players. We hope to see you all on opening day.”
It goes on like this until the dumb fucks realize no one is going to take the bait. Things die down once she turns the conference over to our coach. I start to calm when they start asking the right questions.
Today is the first time Justice and I have been on the same team since I arrived here. I keep my distance as I follow her back out the side door, determined not to give the press anything else to talk about.
The door shuts, and Justice begins to pick up her pace. I look behind me to see her parents standing near the door. Cain gives me a subtle nod. I mouth “Thank you” and wait until she rounds a corner before calling out her name.
“Justice.”
She doesn’t stop. Damn it.
“Justice, we need to talk. Please.” I make it to her side and lightly grab her by the arm.
Tears are streaming down her face, leaving behind black trails of mascara.
“Hey, none of that.” I back her up to the wall in the deserted corridor, bringing the pads of my thumbs up to her face to catch her tears.
“Stupid goddamn Walgreens near me didn’t have waterproof mascara, and I haven’t had time to order my favorite brand online.”
I smile, and she gifts me with a weak one herself. I pull her body to mine, wrapping my arms around her, and just hold her. Justice cries, getting the frustration out. I know the woman well. When she gets pissed, she cries and then gets even more pissed off because she’s crying. It’s a vicious cycle.
“That was horrible,” she murmurs into my chest.
I can’t help myself and kiss the top of her head, getting drunk on cherries and coconut. “I’ve actually seen worse. It will all blow over. I promise.”
“Liam.” Her voice is determined, and I know this is about to go bad if I don’t get out what I need to.
I pull back and stare down at her. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
“After that shit show, you are suggesting we go somewhere and talk? How many times did you get hit in the head at practice today?”
I chuckle. “We need to talk, and you know it. I promise no more asshole. We both need it. This shit between us needs to be put to bed forever.”
“You promise not to be an asshole?” She quirks an eyebrow. “Do you have a concussion?”
This time, I throw my head back while laughing full out. Damn, this feels good even though we still have the gritty part to get through. “Rowe was the one who told me to quit being an asshole.”
Justice shocks me when she trails her hands up my suit jacket, adjusting my lapels. “I’ve always loved that girl.”
7
Justice
After agreeing with Liam I’d meet him at his house, I’m now driving up his winding driveway, park, shut off my car, and stare at the home in front of me. A secluded, two-story sanctuary surrounded by trees, a pond, and landscaping that takes my breath away. There are flowers late in bloom everywhere. It’s beautiful and unlike anything I’ve seen. I chuckle to myself finding it all too ironic, since Liam is also unlike anything I’ve ever seen or experienced.
After the fiasco of the press conference, I took my parents’ advice and left for the day. There’s still a lot to do before preseason kicks off. I admit the pressure weighing down my brain is lifted with them being here and helping out. It leaves me to take care of matters of my heart.
After I broke down, my parents took me home. We ordered piles of Chinese takeout and sat around talking about football more than anything else. It was just what I needed to ease my mind.
I went to bed with a new attitude about the woman I am. The woman I was born to be. And for the first time in as long as I can remember, I fell asleep within minutes. No more dwelling on the life my family lives.
I can’t say I’m fully over how I feel. I might never be, but they’ve let me become the woman I am today out of their unconditional love.
Unlike my parents or my brother, I wasn’t born to rule the Diamond Empire. I didn’t think I was born to rule a football team, but I am. And I’m going to do it with my family and friends at my side.
I climb out of my car, nervous over this talk we desperately need to have. Rounding the front, I glance up to the porch and see Liam standing underneath the covered porch leaning on a solid pillar. His hands are tucked into his jean pockets and legs crossed at the ankle. Liam in a suit and tie is sexy. Liam in jeans and looking casual leaves me weak in the knees.
God, he looks amazing. Larger than life, and softness is escaping all his hard edges. I could stand here and admire him all night.
“This place is gorgeous, Liam.”
A smile curves both corners of his mouth when his eyes turn a desired shade of black, and that’s when I know if I don’t keep this strictly professional at least for tonight, I’ll be in trouble. The guy could always curl my toes with his smile and those midnight eyes.
“Rowe actually found it for me. It was her job to find me a house.” He reaches one hand behind his neck, gripping it tight. His muscles flex in his arms, and all I want to do is lick and bite them. The man is giving me all the damn views without even trying.
My heart swells a little bit more hearing him talk about his sister. I love how their entire family includes her in important decisions of their lives.
“I need to take her and your mom out for a girls’ day. I’ve missed them.” Especially Rowe. She attached herself to my heart right away. I owe her. Hell, I owe his entire family an apology for slipping out the way I did.
&
nbsp; First, though, I owe Liam the truth.
“They’d like that. You look beautiful,” he says, grins, and steps aside, allowing me to enter.
I look down at my ratted jeans, flip-flops, and faded pink T-shirt, and inwardly chuckle. This conversation is going to be as hard for me to say as it is for him to hear. Silly, I know, but the comfort of having my favorite jeans that I can tug at the frays instead of running my hands down the front of my clothes to calm my nerves makes me feel better. It’s the little things in moments like these.
“Thank you,” I speak softly as I pass him and inhale his scent.
Woodsy, just like his home. Sparks fly when our arms lightly brush. I try to ignore the way my body comes to life the minute he shuts the door and we’re technically alone for the first time in years. The air tickles my skin from the charged attraction bouncing between us. This may be our dumbest idea to date. If history has taught either of us anything, one of two things will go down tonight. We will either rip each other to shreds with our hurtful venom or rip each other’s clothes off.
I can’t let either one of those happen.
His home is done in deep greens and several shades of rich Aztec colors; it feels heartfelt and comforting. It’s flawless. Like him. And completely opposite of my New York posh style home.
The entire bottom floor is open. The living room is on the left and runs into the dining room, which connects with an open flow to the kitchen. I’m not able to see all of it, but what I do see appears to be a custom-made wooden table set in a nook that overlooks the pond and what appears to be acres of trees.
“Come on.” He takes hold of my hand, pulls me alongside him and down the hall. “There are many things I remember about you, Justice. One of them is you can’t cook worth a shit; the other is how you scarfed down my mom’s lasagna. Leftovers.” He drops my hand, pulls out a chair at the table, and I watch him effortlessly place two mitten potholders over his hands and take two plates out of the stainless-steel oven. The aroma hits my senses right away.
“I tried making it once; it was a disaster.” I cringe at the memory.
“I remember that, too. Eat, and then we’ll talk,” he commands.
Suddenly I’m nervous. I purposely took all of my makeup off before I got here. I knew I would be bawling my eyes out before the night was over.
I divert my gaze from him after he sits down next to me and brings his bottle of water to his lips. God, those lips and the things he used to do with them have my thighs quivering.
“Damn, this is delicious. The only time I get a home-cooked meal is when I go home,” I say after taking a few bites.
“It is.” Our moods shift. Quiet surrounds us as we sit there and eat.
“I’m sorry for the way I treated you. It won’t happen again. Our past needs to be put to rest, Justice.”
What if I don’t want to put it to rest? I don’t say that out loud. Instead, I sit here in confusion over the mixed signals he keeps giving me.
“Okay. I’d like to do it my way if that’s alright with you,” I tell him while holding in my features of pain, assuring myself that the words he spoke about me being his problem or the way he hardened when he pinned me to the wall are exactly that. All his reactions toward me have been done out of anger. It hurts badly, but the pain in my soul is on me.
“You can do it any way you want. I want this confusion between us gone. I’m tired of fighting what I feel for you out of the hurt I’ve held on to for years. After tonight, it’s a fresh slate.” There he goes again with mixing my brain into liquid.
“Liam, I have no idea how to read you anymore. One minute you're all over me, the next you're telling me we need to put us to rest. I’m standing in the wrong end zone with you, and that is not where I want to be.” He opens his mouth to talk, but I cut him off. I have to get all of this out before he says anything more. “Can we take this outside?” I feel foolish asking him; the fresh air is what I need to get this out.
I follow him out the door and take a seat in a lounge chair. Liam doesn’t choose to sit across from me so the enormous glass patio table would separate us. Nope, he sits down right next to me. His closeness is driving me insane.
I take advantage of the view to help quiet and calm me.
“Please listen to everything I have to say before you blow up at me. This is hard for me to say.” I don’t wait for him to answer. “My family does the unthinkable, Liam. They are good, but their lifestyle, the things they do I’ve never agreed with. They are criminals; you know this. They will never change. I left you with unanswered questions because for the first time in my life, I fell in love with someone who could have been hurt by what they did. I’ve lived with the guilt for so long that at times I didn’t know who I was. I pushed myself daily to try and accept it. I never could. I never will. But I love them more than anything, and they love me. I wouldn’t be here running from this team if they didn’t trust me.”
I see him nod out of the corner of my eyes. I’m not able to look at him until I get this all out. I take in a gulp of air and continue.
“I’ve kept this hidden from everyone except Alex. I told my parents the other day, but I haven’t told everyone. I need to tell Roan. When I said our family’s lifestyle, I should have said styles. Roan is our leader. He’s not ruthless by any means, but he deserves to hear this from me. It’s the right thing to do. The family way.”
Liam reaches over and laces his fingers through mine. I could go on about the family way, get into details about what they do. I’m hoping him taking hold of me is a sign he’s heard enough.
“The truth is good to hear. I'm not going to try to analyze a different upbringing than mine. I’ve read that letter a hundred times, and the common-sense part of it is clear as day. What hurt me… Hell, hurt isn’t accurate at all. What devastated me was you not believing in me or us. You ran and didn’t give us a chance.”
“Liam, how many times…” He places his index finger over my lips, shushing me.
“I’m not finished, Justice. This isn’t easy for either one of us. It has to be hashed out and buried one time. Once we get past this, I don’t want us talking about it again. I’ve never hated you. Hell, I’m going to be honest. I’ve never stopped loving you. My hurt turned into anger. It made me a bitter man. Hardened my exterior. You busted in my life out of nowhere. Left just as fast. And now here we are, in each other’s lives again, and there’s no possible way to ignore we have unfinished business.”
He pauses. My heart flutters and stills.
All the venom Liam has aimed at me is gone, replaced with raw emotions. I’m at a loss for words as I wait for the ones he’s going to say that will sink my heart. The ones where he says he’s here for football and not me.
He lets go of my hand.
His massive palms cup my cheek. I find myself leaning my face into his embrace, soaking it all in even if it’s for a final time.
“We’re being offered a second chance, and I’m not wasting any more time. You nearly ruined me when you left. I won’t lie, won’t push a plug and seal our past up just yet. You need to know that protecting me isn’t your job. Loving me is, ‘cause, princess, I have it bad for you. Let me protect you from the pain. Don’t ever, and I mean ever, hide your feelings or who you really are from me again. We talk and work shit out together. I choose forgiveness, Justice.”
The four words barely ghost off his lips in a whisper. Four simple words I may not deserve. I relish in each syllable of them.
“I mean it. The past is the past. I’m not looking back. I’m exhausted from being bitter. I want more in my life, and that’s always been you. I need that light again even if we can only be friends. I’ll take it. Fuck, I want so much more, since we're being honest here. Friends won’t cut it for me. I want better than what we had. To get to know you again. Make you mine.”
I take in every single one of his words. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes.
Liam Blake will never know how much this means to
me. An olive branch, a beacon of light shining through my darkness, everything coming full circle.
“I’m sorry, Liam, so damn sorry.” I blink and see him clearly now. He forgives me. I’m forgiven.
He presses his lips to mine, quieting my words.
“The past. It’s the past. This is our new beginning. Are you going to be good with that? We skip the part of our story where we were lost, and we open up those pages and write the fuck out of them with me, you, and football. No more apologies about the past. No more hiding behind the pain. It ends here.” He leans back in his seat, spreading his legs out. “Now, if you fuck up in the future, I’m going to expect a full-on apology done my way.”
He grins a crooked smile, making me grin right back at him, then takes a pull from his water bottle. I nod, unable to say a word since apologies have been wrote on my tongue. This is a new beginning. I’ve seen them in movies or read about them in books, and always thought they were just that—a simple fantasy or illusion. But now I’m being given one.
8
Liam
It’s early. The sun is barely peeking over the horizon. The quiet streets of Boise are sound asleep. I pull the Range Rover into the dirt parking lot and see Justice is waiting outside of her car. She dressed in black from head to toe, hip leaning against the door with her arms folded over her chest pushing up her luscious breasts. Her blonde hair is piled in a messy bun on top of her head, and the final nail in my coffin is the smile she gives me when I begin my long, fast-paced strides to get to her.
Everything about her screamed out at me the other night. Justice felt damaged, broken, and bruised. She’s been struggling through the motions in life, like me. Going through life alone until time slaps you in the face. We’ve both moved through life without living, but today we are about to live again.
We’ve kept our distance the last two days, both going on about our own business. The truth is, we both have a lot of responsibility weighing down on us and can’t lose sight of what brought us back together.