by Jaimi Wilson
We all slowly make our way up the steps and into the pack house. Once inside, Liam heads straight for the kitchen, calling back over his shoulder, "Anyone hungry? I've got some steaks in the fridge."
Josh fist pumps the air, grinning broadly. "Hell yeah! I would kill for one of your steaks!"
Jenkins and Benji both mutter their agreement, but Liam still manages to hear them as he bangs around in the kitchen. For a wolf who's supposed to be a silent predator, he sure makes a lot of noise when he’s cooking.
Josh and I stand awkwardly outside the door to the kitchen before he gestures for me to follow him. As we leave, I see Benji go sit down on the couch next to Jenkins.
Josh grabs my arm and drags me back to my bedroom. Once we’re inside, he closes the door behind us, locking it as well. He walks into my adjoining bathroom, where he turns the shower and taps on. Then he comes out, takes my hand and drags me back into the bathroom with him.
I stare at him in shock as he closes the door behind us and steps closer to me. My heart starts racing in nervous excitement. Just because I think it’s possible he's my mate doesn't mean this should be happening right now. "Uh, Josh, back off. This really isn’t appropriate.”
His brow creases in confusion, but then he looks between us, then around the room. His eyes widen and he bursts into laughter, quickly taking a step back. "Shit! Sorry, babe. I just wanted to talk to you without the guys overhearing us."
I try not to let him see the hurt that I feel from his laughter, but he must anyway, because his face suddenly grows serious. "Sorry, Jas. But I have some important things to tell you; I just haven’t had the chance between everything else. Unfortunately, we’re running out of time before he shows up here."
"What? You mean my father?" I demand as he runs a hand through his hair, clearly anxious.
He turns to meet my gaze, his brown eyes conveying his concern. "Yeah. He's on his way now.”
Get me? "If he thinks he's going to take me prisoner, he’ll be in for a surprise. I don't care who the fuck he is; I will obliterate him," I growl angrily.
Josh coughs out a laugh. "No, he's not going to kidnap you or anything like that. He just wants to give you answers about who you are."
"Why? What does he gain from that?"
"Honestly, I can't answer that. He has to be the one to explain things, but I promise it’s nothing bad. Although, there is something you should know about him before he arrives."
I wait with bated breath, sensing whatever he’s about to tell me isn’t going to be good. Why else would Josh separate me from the others to explain this? If it wasn’t a big deal, he would have just told me out in the living room with the other guys present.
As I watch Josh, I can tell he's nervous about something. It’s obvious by the way he's rubbing his fingers together. I’ve noticed that he does that whenever he's anxious about something. Case in point, he was doing that while we were breaking into the Order Headquarters.
Finally, he gathers up enough courage, spitting the words out in a rush. "Your father, while a hybrid like you, is also the head of the Soldiers. He works closely with the human government to keep all supernaturals in check."
I take a seat on the floor, leaning back against the shower glass with my head in my hands. When I think I've actually processed what he just said, I lift my head and see Josh hovering over me nervously. He looks like he wants to comfort me, but is unsure of how to do so. To be honest, I have no clue either.
"How long will he be here for?" I ask softly. I know I should be freaking out right now. I should feel like crying or wanting to throw things, but instead I’m just numb. He can come and give me answers if he wants, but if he thinks he can just walk back into my life like he didn’t abandon me, well he’s got another thing coming. Though there's definitely some questions I would like answered.
Like, how the hell can my father be a supe, and also part of the human government? The Soldiers are all highly trained humans that go above and beyond what special forces members are trained for. Soldiers need to be able to fight off supernaturals so they have to train harder than anyone else to ensure they are up to the challenge.
All applicants have to submit to blood tests, physical testing, and other aptitude tests. This is to ensure that only the most skilled make it through, but also to weed out any supes trying to sneak their way into the human government.
Not to mention there's the whole law about level one witches. If my father truly does work with the Soldiers, what's to say he won't follow the law to the letter?
I know Benji and Liam are not going to like having the leader of the Soldiers here around a bunch of wolves, and I don't really blame them for that. That’s when I realize what Josh did by telling me this. He put me in the position to tell them, because he was too chicken shit to do so.
"He'll only be here for the day. He told me he had some unfinished business to take care of, and that he was coming straight here afterward so he could spend time with his daughter."
I laugh harshly. I might be his daughter biologically, but he has yet to earn the right to treat me as such. After all, he left me with that sadistic bitch of a mother, and I'm guessing he knew the whole fucking time that I existed.
"Okay, we need to explain everything to Benji and Liam before he arrives. I don't want them blindsided by him showing up at the door without any kind of explanation. They may also want to send some of the pack away before he arrives, just in case." Josh nods; he seems to have relaxed a bit, but there's still a tension in his eyes.
I get to my feet and wrap my arms around his waist, ignoring the way he suddenly freezes. After a moment, he relaxes into my embrace. He slowly runs a hand up and down my back as if to soothe me, but I know it’s as much to comfort him.
"I'm sorry I kept this from you, babe. I would have told you sooner, but I swore to your father I’d let him explain. But then you were captured by the council, and I went out of my fucking mind. It took everything in me to remain rational, thinking about your mother and Evan doing God knows what to you."
I rub my cheek against his chest, listening to the pounding of his heart for a moment. Then I pull back and look up into his pained eyes. "You call spelling my mates so they can’t leave the pack house staying calm?" I tease, watching as an amused grin lights up his face. The sight of it makes me happy; I just wanted to ease his worries a bit. It’s strange, but I’m starting to feel things for Josh that I never thought I would.
He looks at me intently, as if noticing the change in me. Quickly, I shut down my emotions, refusing to let him see my inner confusion. But he doesn't let the matter drop. "Jas, having more than two mates is okay. You know that, right? No one is going to pressure you into anything."
I shake my head sadly, stepping back. "No, I couldn’t. It would break Benji and Liam. They've already given me so much by allowing me to share them, I don't want to push them any further."
"Babe, they won't care as long as you're happy. Would it be so terrible to have me as a mate too?"
I frown, hearing the hurt evident in his voice. It makes me feel like an asshole, and he drops his head, refusing to meet my eyes. "Josh, you look at me right now!"
He lifts his head minutely, just enough to watch me speak, which is all I need. "It’s not that I don’t want you as a mate. But it's not just me I have to consider. Liam and Benji share me equally. If I add another guy, or hell, two if Sabine is to be believed, then how am I supposed to find the balance? What if I spend too much time with one of you? What if I kiss one of you in front of the others? There are so many 'what if' scenarios that it gives me a goddamn migraine. But what it really comes down to is that I’m afraid of hurting any of you, and I don’t know what to do."
Josh seems to mull over my words, before speaking slowly. "Okay, I get your concerns, but hear me out. Liam and Benji share you so well because they were once a couple. Well not exactly; they always liked having a girl for a third, but it wasn't a necessity. They’ve always cared for each ot
her, but now that you're in the picture, it’s like they've found their perfect match. If you accepted me as your mate, I wouldn't want to be part of that relationship. I would want us to have one of our own. As for kissing, touching or anything else while the others are around, well that's something we should all sit down and discuss as a group. Because you’re right, there need to be some kind of boundaries, or this will never work."
He takes in a deep breath, and before I can react, he places his lips on mine in a hungry kiss. I fight the urge not to moan in response, but all thought seems to have left me as soon as his lips touched mine.
When he finally pulls away, it’s with a shit eating grin on his face. "I know you're going to try to talk yourself out this and deny your feelings, because I saw you do the same thing with Benji and Liam at the start. So just in case you do, I wanted to at least get one kiss in first."
With that, he turns walking from the room, a confident strut in his step.
He just... I run both hands through my hair, gripping tight and pulling. "AHHHH!" I scream in frustration.
Josh was so fucking right. I tried to lock away my feelings for Benji and Liam, but no matter how hard I tried, the way I felt about them overwhelmed all my negative thoughts that made me think it was a bad idea. With that in mind, I know I have to try to talk to the guys about everything.
Yeah, this is going to be great...
Five
I stayed in the bathroom for a bit after that, splashing water on my face to try and clear my head, but the kiss with Josh kept playing on repeat. How the hell am I supposed to try to sort through my emotions, when I don't even know how I feel?
Once I was sure I can handle myself and remain calm, I step out of the bathroom. I see Josh has left the bedroom, so I head into the hall, before making my way to the living room. When I get there, I notice Josh and Jenkins on the couch, fully absorbed in a football game on TV. Benji has moved into the dining room and when he sees me, he beckons me over. I try to act casual, as if nothing happened, even though I’m freaking out inside.
His face, while not completely blank, is devoid of emotion. When I get within arm’s length, he grabs me by the elbow. He drags me over to a wall, which while the furthest from the kitchen, gives me a full view of Liam moving around as if he owns the place.
"You should go talk to him," Benji murmurs, gesturing into the kitchen as we both watch Liam do his thing.
I look on with interest as Liam grabs various herbs and spices from a cabinet. He sets them down in alphabetical order on the counter, with all the labels facing him so he can read them easily. I smile at his meticulous nature.
"I don't know," I murmur as I continue to observe him. "He looks busy."
When I turn back to Benji, I notice him glaring at me. "We want this relationship to work, Jazzy. That won't happen if you don't clear the air. You're not the only one angry about what happened. Liam is fucking messed up after finding out you saw what happened between him and Neira. He’s used to hiding his emotions, and he does it well. If you don’t confront him about it soon, both of you will let this eat at you, and you’ll end up resenting each other.
"You both screwed up. Just accept it and talk to him, so you can both move past this."
Then his hands are gripping my shoulders as he steers me into the kitchen. Once I’m inside, Benji closes the door behind me, essentially locking me in a room with an angry mate and a bunch of knives. Okay, I might be overreacting a bit, but still.
I watch as Liam walks around the kitchen, moving with a spring in his step. After a minute, he finally stops and acknowledges my presence. When he turns, I see he has a couple of steaks in his hands, still in their wrapping. "You just gonna stand there and watch? You’re welcome to help if you know how to handle yourself in the kitchen."
My eyes run slowly over his figure, dressed in navy blue jeans and a pale gray tee. He's wearing an apron that reads, 'Get the fuck outta my kitchen!' I smile at the novelty article of clothing, which was clearly made for him.
As I take him in from head to toe, his violet gaze flares brighter. "Maybe I'll just stand here and watch.” I bite my lip teasingly, enjoying the small growl that rumbles in his chest.
He places the two wrapped steaks back on the counter before taking three strides towards me, his growl building in the room. When he reaches me, he cups my cheek in the palm of his hand. He looks like he’s about to say something, but that’s when Josh calls out from the living room.
"You guys better not be fucking near my food!"
I snort, unable to contain my laughter. Liam, on the other hand, frowns, glaring at the kitchen door as if it personally yelled at him.
He sighs in defeat before giving me a gentle kiss on the lips. "We'll finish this later. Wouldn't want Josh to get snippy and decide to curse us."
"I heard that!" Josh shouts. I chuckle as Liam guides me over to the kitchen counter, one hand on the small of my back as he does so.
He lets me go and moves over to the cupboard under the sink, where he pulls out a spare apron, holding it up for me.
I burst out laughing at the picture on it, clutching my stomach as my breaths come out in strangled gasps.
A picture of Benji and Liam is on the apron, front and center. They look considerably younger in the image, maybe ten years or more, and their expressions are filled with joy.
They've each got an arm wrapped over the other’s shoulders in the most bro hug ever. Their grins are wide and contagious, and along the bottom of the apron are the words 'Alpha Bitches’ stitched in neat letters.
Liam doesn't say anything about the apron, ignoring my laughter as he puts it on me, tying it around my waist.
As I work to gain control of my hiccups, he moves me over to where he was working before, and puts a chopping board and knife in front of me.
He places two tomatoes, three carrots, a cucumber and a head of lettuce in front of me, as well as four empty containers.
"Grate the carrots, slice the cucumber, shred the lettuce and dice the tomatoes. I want you to put them in individual containers, and we'll take them out onto the porch when I'm ready to grill the steaks."
I smirk, otherwise not acknowledging his directions. He goes about measuring out herbs and spices in a flat tray. He hums as he works and I find myself unable to stop staring. He doesn't even need to measure, I notice. Instead, he seems to just instinctively know how much of each ingredient he needs.
As if just realizing I’m still standing there, doing nothing, he pauses and turns his gaze to meet mine. "Do you know how to cut vegetables, or would you like me to show you?" The sarcasm in his voice is softened by his amused smile.
I roll my eyes, sticking my tongue out at him before returning to my task.
How's a woman not to be impressed when her mate knows exactly how to handle himself in the kitchen? They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but I think that might be even more true for women.
Give me a man who will feed me for the rest of my life, and I’ll die one happy ass woman!
We prep the food in silence for a few minutes before I decide to broach the subject that made Benji push me in here in the first place. I need to understand why Liam didn't just tell me the truth when I first asked.
"Can I ask a question?" My voice comes out soft, nerves getting the better of me. I know we have to discuss this, but I don’t want it to escalate into an argument if I can avoid it. I just want to have a civil conversation about this.
He sighs, wiping his hands on his apron before turning to face me. "Jasmine, we're mates. You can ask me whatever you want, whenever you want. I may not always give you the answer you want, or I may struggle to give you an answer that won’t piss you off, as we've already learned," he mutters. I know he’s referring to earlier, when I let my anger lead me and stormed out of the house. It’s not my fault he didn't phrase things well.
"Why did you lie to me when I asked about Neira in the first place? And why would you move out of your t
emporary house and let her stay there? Sure, I could handle you letting a friend stay there, but an ex lover, or in this case two ex lovers... Well, that shit just hurts."
He continues to season the steaks, refusing to look at me when he answers. "I didn't tell you the truth about Neira because I knew it would hurt you. I knew there was history between the two of you, although I’m not exactly sure what it is. Since you were already angry at her, it didn't seem like the best time to give you more of a reason to dislike her. So I lied, hoping I’d have a chance to clear things up after she was gone, but then shit hit the fan."
He slams his hand on the counter, almost breaking the glass spice jar he's holding. Then, he takes a few measured breaths. "As for them moving into my home, it just felt right. I knew I didn't want to be that far away from you, so I was going to move into the pack house anyway. I thought that if I moved into your room, it would make you happy. So, Josh helped me pack everything up from my house and bring it all over here before we left on the mission to scope out the Order house."
"My room?" I ask in surprise. Everything else he said is just a jumble of words compared to that one statement, which leaps out at me.
He smirks before giving me a look that says he thinks I'm naïve. "What, did you think I would be shacking up with Benji? No, I want to be right where my mate is, thank you very much."
He wants to be with me? My heart hammers in my chest and I feel myself growing wet between my legs at his admission.
I clear my throat, trying to find my voice. "I just figured you would want to move into one of the spare rooms. There have to be like five empty bedrooms here. Why not just take the room next to mine?"
"Because. You. Are. Mine!" His hands slam down on the counter again, making me jump in surprise. "Listening to Josh and leaving you that night went against every instinct I had. Benji was so out of it from you magically transporting him, but even so, I could tell he wanted us to go back. The only reason I didn't was because I knew you would kick my ass if I treated you like some damsel who needed saving. But guess what? You needed saving!"