***
When Raj was finally able to breathe again and Vijay and Lucky had regained their voices, Vijay asked Lucky to get him some water. Lucky went to the kitchen and brought back a glass for Raj.
"It's okay, calm down," Vijay said in soft voice as Raj drank. When Raj finished, he wiped his eyes with his hands and looked at both of his friends. How should he begin?
"I don't know who my mother and father are. I don't know anything about where I came from," Raj said bluntly.
"But why did you come here? Are they here in the U.S.?" Vijay asked.
"I'm not sure. I really don't know anything about them. I don't know who are they? nothing," Raj replied, getting choked up again. Lucky jumped up to get Raj another glass of water, and he grabbed a handful of toilet paper from the bathroom.
"I do not understand," Lucky said as he handed Raj the paper. "How do you not know anything?"
Raj blotted his face and blew his nose before continuing his story. "I was raised by Gita maa. She was an old widow who used to wash dishes in rich people's homes. As far back as I can remember, I always believed that she was my mom. She loved me a lot. I was everything to her," Raj said, a sad smile crossing his face as his eyes focused on a past that Lucky and Vijay couldn't see. "She worked really hard for me, and when I was fifteen years old, she died from tuberculosis." Raj stopped and took a moment to wipe away fresh tears.
"Before maa died, she told me that she'd found me on the side of the street when she was returning from work late one night. As soon as I was born, someone left me on the street to die. Maa had lost her husband at a very young age, and they hadn't had any children, so she had no one. So when she found me, she didn't hesitate to take me home. I remember that her favorite Indian actor was Rajesh Khanna, and she told me once that's why she named me Raj." Raj reached for his wallet in his back pocket and took something out of it. "I had this with me when she found me," Raj said, showing Vijay and Lucky a gold locket.
Vijay took it from Raj's hand. It was a woman's locket, and big for a small boy. Vijay opened it and saw two pictures, one on either side, of a woman and a man. He passed the locket to Lucky. "Raj," Vijay said, "you look exactly like the man in that locket. That has to be your father." Lucky was also surprised by the resemblance.
"I think so, too. And I also think that it was my mother who left me on that street with nothing but that locket," Raj replied. "I don't know why my parents dumped me like garbage. I don't know if they were married. I don't know if I was just an unplanned mistake. I don't know if they're alive. I am not even sure if the people in that locket are my parents. I don't know anything."
"It will be okay," Lucky said, squeezing Raj's arm. He handed the locket back to Raj. "But then why did you come here to America?"
"After maa died, I was working in a restaurant to support myself. I always kept that locket with me. I believed that the only people who knew where I came from were the people in that locket, so whenever I had time and money, I traveled all over Kashmir searching for them. I never found them. I checked with the police, but no one recognized the pictures. But I never lost my hope, and I just kept searching," Raj replied. Vijay and Lucky listened carefully, nodding occasionally in sympathy.
"Then one day last September, I was working in the restaurant when I noticed that people were running towards the TV. I didn't know what had happened. There was no India-Pakistan cricket match that day, so I was surprised by all the excitement. I followed the crowd to the TV, which had been turned to a news channel. The women standing there were crying, and many of the men had their hands over their mouths, like they couldn't believe what they were seeing. I tried to ask someone what was going on, but no one answered me, so I looked back at the TV. I turned back just in time to see a very tall building collapse. Something terrible was happening in New York, and people on the streets were shouting and running away from this huge storm of dust that had taken over the space where the building used to be. I stood there in shock, watching these people on TV coughing and bleeding and wiping dust from their faces. They were covered in white ash. The whole place was covered in ash, and all the people walking around looked like ghosts. And that's when I noticed her. There was a woman wearing a hijab that caught my eye. She was coming out of that storm of dust, and a news reporter ran up to her and tried to interview her.
"After all of these years, I was finally looking at the woman in my locket. At first I didn't believe my eyes, because her face was covered with white dust. But then she wiped her face with her sleeve before she answered the reporter's question, and I think I must have also wiped my eyes with my sleeve, thinking I was imagining her. But I took the locket out of my pocket and saw that I wasn't wrong. It was the same woman, and I was certain that the woman was my mother.
"The reporter asked for her name first, and she was crying and traumatized, but I could understand her when she said her name was Aisha. Then the news reporter asked her about where she was when the plane hit, but the woman was too distraught to answer, and she just kept crying. A cop came and moved the reporter and this woman, Aisha, out of the way, off camera. And that was the last time I saw her.
"For hours I kept watching the news carefully, but I never saw her again. It was as if she had been swallowed up by that dusty storm. I didn't work the rest of that day, or the next, or the next. I just kept watching the news all day, reading every newspaper I could get my hands on, but I never spotted her again. I'd looked at her photo every day for almost ten years. I couldn't have made a mistake about it. I didn't know the woman, but I prayed a lot for her safety. She couldn't die without telling me the truth about my life. But I didn't know what to do next. I had no idea how to find her.
"So one day I started collecting all this information about the 9/11 event. It was so tragic, and it hurt me to see all of the images, and to read all of these stories about the lives that were lost, but I had to find that woman. I was being totally selfish. I left my job and went to Delhi to the headquarters of the news station that aired that interview. They weren't helpful, so I had to bribe someone to get a copy. I watched that news segment again and again until I knew without a doubt that it was the same woman. Can you imagine? For ten years I had searched for her in India, and she was here in New York. I knew what I had to do, but I also knew how difficult it was going to be. I worked hard, I did everything possible? legal and sometimes illegal?and I collected a lot of money and got my passport. I never went to university like you guys, so I had to make fake transcripts. I paid a lot of people to get admission to a university in New York, and I spent all my money for a visa and my ticket, and I came here with nothing left in my pocket. And then I met you guys the same day I arrived."
Raj took a deep breath and then looked at Vijay first, then at Lucky. "I don't call anyone because I don't have anyone. I go to downtown Manhattan almost every day, because I'm hoping to find that woman. Vijay, I used your computer to search for 9/11 victims, praying every time I searched that I wouldn't find her picture. I?" Raj choked on his words. "I am not a terrorist," Raj said, bursting into tears.
Vijay and Lucky had been silent throughout Raj's entire story, partially because they were in shock, and partially because they feared that uttering a single word might break the spell and Raj might shut down emotionally. They knew he couldn't keep this secret inside any longer, and that he needed to finally tell his story and be heard by people who cared.
"We are so sorry for doubting you," Lucky said, and Vijay nodded.
"It's not your fault. I understand why you didn't trust me, and even though you had your doubts, you still helped me a lot. You're the only people I have now in my life who care about me," Raj replied.
"We will always be your second family, Raj. But we will find that woman," Lucky promised.
"Do you have the news clip?" Vijay asked. Raj nodded.
"Can we see it?" Lucky asked.
"Yeah, sure," Raj replied. He got up and walked over to h
is backpack, pulling a CD from the front pocket of the bag. He handed it to Vijay, who opened his laptop and inserted the CD in the slot. Raj had burned a lot of files onto the CD, but he showed Vijay the main news clip and Lucky and Vijay watched it carefully.
"Now the building will collapse. Watch carefully at the people running," Raj instructed. In a few moments, the first tower collapsed, and people were screaming and running away from the falling debris.
"There! Stop!" Raj said, and Vijay paused the video.
"Look at that woman in the hijab." Raj pointed at the screen.
Vijay and Lucky looked at the woman in the video and then at the picture in Raj's locket. They rewound the clip, played it again, and paused it at different times, trying to see different angles of the woman's face. Finally Vijay looked at Raj.
"You're right. The facial features are the same, but?" Vijay didn't finish his thought.
"But what?" Raj asked.
"The woman in the picture has Sindoor on her forehead. That means she's Hindu. But the woman in the video is wearing a hijab, which means she's Muslim. How is that possible? It doesn't make any sense," Vijay replied.
"You are right," Lucky nodded, agreeing with Vijay.
"I know?but the woman in the video looks exactly like her. I can't make a mistake about that, believe me," Raj implored, trying to convince his friends.
Vijay started humming, looking at the computer screen and then at the locket in his hand. He flipped it over and over in his hand with a smooth motion, and then suddenly he his fingers fumbled it and the locket dropped to the floor. "Oh man, sorry, sorry!" Vijay said, quickly picking up the locket. It had only fallen a few inches to the floor and was not damaged, except that the picture of the man that had been wedged into the left side had popped out. Vijay held the locket close so that he could replace the picture, but his hand hovered above the locket and he just stared at it.
"Vijay, what is it? What is wrong?" Lucky asked.
Vijay didn't look up. "Hey, Raj, she said her name was Aisha, right?"
Raj nodded.
"Well, there's an inscription in Hindi under the man's picture, and it says "For My Love, Aisha." Vijay grinned, and handed the locket to Raj for him to see.
Raj didn't realize that he'd been holding his breath, and he let out a long sigh of relief. "See? I know I'm right, Vijay. I have to be."
Lucky took the locket from Vijay and looked at the inscription. "Raj? I don't know what is going to happen in the future. But you have impressed me. I always thought that no one struggled as much as I did in my life. But at least I have my family with me. But you, my friend, you have it the worst. You suffered financially and emotionally with no one to stand beside you in your life. And still you came here, thousands of miles away, to find the answers. You have lot of courage," Lucky said, feeling pride in his friend. He placed his hand on top of Raj's shoulder affectionately.
"Thanks, Lucky. But this is the only hope I have left. I had to come here to find out the truth. Otherwise, I'm not sure how to live my life, not knowing. "
"So what's the plan now? What's our next step?" Vijay asked.
"Well, first of all I need to find a new job so I can survive in this city," Raj answered.
"Don't worry about that. I'm making enough money from my teaching assistantship that I don't need to distribute flyers anymore. I'm sure they'll hire you in my place," Vijay said.
"But what about the owner?" Lucky asked.
"Oh! Gupta will be happy. Raj is from the north and has fair skin."
"Thanks, Vijay," Raj replied.
Vijay nodded. "But my question was about your parents, especially your mother, Aisha. How can we find her?"
Lucky looked at Raj. "Can we take the help from police?"
"I already tried," Raj answered. "They said they couldn't help me since I couldn't prove my relationship with her. They also said that she's not a missing person."
Vijay cocked his head. "Really? They have no idea!" he chuckled.
Raj thought about what he'd just said, and for the first time in several hours, he laughed. "Yeah, right? I'd say she's been missing for about thirty years."
"Okay, then. Our only option is to search for her everywhere?every street, every masjid, every Muslim community, everywhere," Vijay said.
Lucky shook his head. "That is hell lot of work with no guarantee of outcome. We should talk to the news channel."
"No," Raj replied. "First, I don't know that they could identify her, and second, no one is going to listen us. And what if she's not the one? We would be disturbing her life?I can't do that."
"Well then, let's start our search on the internet," Vijay suggested. There are lots of websites related to the 9/11 attack. I'm sure she should be in at least one of them since she was on the national news."
"Very good idea," Lucky agreed.
Raj shook his head. "I already tried, many times. Aisha is a very common name. It was hard to find anything on the internet. But you guys are engineers, so maybe you'll be better at it than I was."
Vijay yawned loudly. "Ah, sorry. What time is it?" He looked at his watch and saw that it was nearly 2 am. "Let's get some sleep. It's been a long day, and we should get some rest before we start our big search," Vijay said, smiling at Raj.
"Vijay?I?I just want to say I'm sorry. About everything. Lying to you about my job, about where I go, using your computer?and then the way I treated you tonight, threatening you like that?there is no excuse. You guys have been so good to me, and I've disrespected you with my behavior. It won't happen again," Raj said.
Lucky slapped Raj on the back, and Raj cringed in pain. "Oh, sorry, sorry!"
"It's okay, Lucky," Raj replied, putting his arm around Lucky. "Vijay, seriously man. I'm really sorry," Raj said, extending his other hand to Vijay.
Vijay took Raj's offered hand, and grasped it with both of his. "No worries. Any day that ends with your tall, muscular, brooding roommate not being a homicidal terrorist is a good day!" Vijay laughed.
Namaste New York: A Novel Page 21