“What’s so hard about slamming a ball into the field and making it home?” My dad wondered aloud. “Son, if you need help with your bat, just ask, I used to be quite the slugger, right Stella?”
My mom blushed.
Demetri’s grin widened. “I would love to hear tales of your glory days.”
“Okay!” I clapped my hands gaining everyone’s attention before my dad started drawing diagrams about baseball and the guys started deciphering it as sex advice. “So it looks like I’m going to shave Zane’s head.”
“Not the whole head.” Zane jerked away from me. “Half the head, like a quarter of the hair.”
“Here.” I shoved a bag of marshmallows against his chest and laughed while he bit down hard on one of the mallows like I was about to perform a surgical procedure. “Remember, you can’t swallow.”
Demetri choked on a laugh. I ignored him.
The razor buzzed loudly as I quickly ran it above his left ear.
Zane kept his eyes closed.
Demetri had his phone out, documenting the entire thing.
Wavy black hair fell against Zane’s shoulder, and some of it floated to the floor. My heart sank a little.
But it wasn’t about the hair.
It was about the man.
“Very brave,” Demetri teased. “You do realize she’s legally blind.”
“Hey, I’m wearing my glasses. At least I think they’re mine.” I squinted around the room, enjoying the looks of abject horror on some of the faces. I settled my gaze on Zane and smiled. “And I think I did a good job!”
Alec whistled. “I’m trying to figure out how he looks better with half his hair gone, asshole.”
Zane smirked while Linc and Alec shared confused looks, it was true though. Somehow, he’d gone from looking just sexy to dangerous sexy all because I cut off a bit of his hair.
“Now trending on Zane watch,” Demetri said in a low voice. “Saint cuts off his hair like Samson. The question is, has he lost his strength or gained it? Details to follow.”
“You clearly missed your calling as a newscaster.” Lincoln laughed. “If you ever lose the ability to sing you could work for TMZ!”
“I have many callings. Many talents.” Demetri high fived Lincoln while my mom knelt down by Zane’s feet and picked up the hair stuffing it in a napkin.
“Uh, mom?” I frowned. “What are you doing?”
“Please tell me you’re selling it on eBay.” Demetri pleaded.
“Oh.” She shrugged and patted Zane on the shoulder. “I just thought, you could keep it as a memento. You’ll look at this hair, well I mean not all of it, but the part you keep, and you’ll remember the day you and your friends courageously faced scary circumstances together, as a family, and came out on top.”
Mom was simple like that, she didn’t think before speaking, she wasn’t passive aggressive or meticulous in her thoughts, she said what was on her mind which roughly translated into her being proud of Zane.
I wasn’t sure if I needed to tell him that or if he gathered it from the way she beamed at him as though he was about to save the world.
“Knock-knock.” A feminine voice interrupted the moment. A tall woman in her mid-forties walked into the room. She had a beautiful smile, and long, dark hair that was pulled back into a tight braid. And pink fingernail polish. I don’t know why that was important, but it brought me an odd sense of comfort when she introduced herself. “I’m Dr. Thomas, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Zane.” She was looking at him, not through him, I liked her already.
He held out his hand.
When she took it, she flipped it over and frowned at his calluses. “Guitar player, and here I thought you favored the piano.”
He grinned. “I like both.”
“Well.” She pulled her hand back. “Then we’d better remove that pesky aneurysm so you can get back to it.” She went over the protocol for surgery. All in all, it wasn’t a very long procedure. I mean, it wasn’t the safest surgery, but she made it seem like she could do it in her sleep. Small incision, insert metal clip across the bulge where it rose from the blood vessel, sew him up, and ride off into the sunset.
“Alright.” She rubbed her hands together. “My staff will be by in ten minutes to prep you for surgery. Let me know if you have any more questions.” She breezed out of the room.
Ten minutes.
That’s all I had with him.
It took two more minutes for him to hug everyone else in the room and an added three minutes where he and my dad talked in low, hushed voices.
My dad pulled him in for a hug slapped him so hard on the back that I winced, and then walked out with my mom.
Leaving us alone.
By my calculations, we would have maybe five minutes before nurses came back in and took him from me.
“So.” I forced a grin. “You and my dad are best friends now?”
“We both like meat.” Zane nodded seriously. “So basically we’re soul mates. Don’t even get me started on his love of s’mores. From what I can tell, it borders on indecent, and I can’t have you picturing your father in that way, Fallon.”
I burst out laughing. “Noted.”
“Come here.”
“Here.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’m right here.”
“You will never be close enough.”
I frowned.
“I always want you closer, I always crave more closeness than what’s physically possible without merging our bodies together in some sort of weird twin way — that frankly, sounds a bit extreme if you ask me.”
Laughing I touched my forehead to his. “Don’t be weird.”
“You do know me, right? Anxiety, a bit anti-social, runs when girls chase him, has this weird obsession with marshmallows, likes to be naked, hates crowds, thinks that cheese is stupid.”
I gasped. “You hate cheese?”
“All cheese.”
“Zane!”
“Oh shit, is that a deal breaker?” I loved his smile, the way it made his eyes crinkle at the sides, the way his lips curved over a perfect row of straight white teeth.
“How can you think cheese is stupid?”
“I figured our first fight would be over something more serious like my need to constantly be naked or the weird habit I have of watching you while you sleep.”
My jaw dropped open. “You watch me sleep?”
“No.” His headshake morphed into a nod. “I mean, watch is such a creepy word. I like to stare adoringly down at your cute little nose and sexy-as-hell mouth.”
“You think cheese is stupid, and you watch me while I snore.”
“You snore like half the time, and are we still stuck on this whole cheese thing? Shit, I’d hate to see your expression once I tell you I used to be afraid of Giraffes.”
“WHAT?” I yelled. “They’re God’s most gentle creatures and one of the few animals that doesn’t terrify me!”
“Nothing should have a neck that long. Also, I don’t buy this whole belief that they only eat plants.” Zane shuddered. “Have you seen the size of their tongues?”
“Hmm.”
“What?” He tugged me closer to him.
“Nothing, you’re just a lot weirder than I thought.”
“Says the girl who’s afraid of antelope.” His chuckle was warm against my neck, and then he sighed. “Tell me that despite all my weird quirks you’ll still be waiting for me after surgery.”
“Always.” I forced myself to paste a smile on my face, to be the strong one when I wanted to sob against his chest and beg him not to go in. But then again, what was the alternative? Death?
Nurses shuffled into the room.
And it started.
That numb, cold feeling went from my head all the way down to my toes, my chest felt heavy with dread as I kissed him on the mouth. “I’m keeping you, Zane.”
“Good.” He cupped my face, his fingers grazing my lips. “I’ve always wanted to be kept.”
It was turning into our thing.
And I loved every minute of it.
“Fallon?”
“What?”
“Keep the marshmallows safe.” He handed me an entire bag of marshmallows, it wasn’t open which was rare if you knew him at all, but I figured he just hadn’t jumped into his stash yet.
“I’ll guard them with my life.” I smiled through my tears.
“I knew I could count on you the minute you tripped over your own feet and nearly humped a trash can.” He winked while one of the nurses frowned over at me.
“Very funny.” With a heavy sigh, I backed out of the room and numbly allowed my legs to carry me down the hall to the waiting room.
Surgery was fast.
He would be in surgery within minutes.
And then the clock would start.
“Please let him be okay,” I whispered to myself as my mom and dad flanked me on both sides and held my hands.
“He’s lucky to have you,” Jaymeson said quietly from his spot across the room. “We all are.”
“Are you being nice to me?”
He smiled. “I’m the nicest out of all the guys, I thought you knew?”
“Bullshit,” Lincoln coughed out loudly.
Jay sighed. “Okay well not to you, but you’re banging my sister-in-law, so forgive me for forgetting to be decent when I hear your shenanigans in the middle of the night!”
“SHENANIGANS!” Demetri shouted so loud I nearly fell out of my chair.
Everyone stared at him like he’d just lost his mind.
“Sorry, I get excited when Jay uses big words. He isn’t the best speller.”
“You’re—” Jay pointed at Demetri “—a jackass.”
“I think we need to invest in a swear jar,” My dad muttered under his breath to my mom. “I need a new gun.”
“Shenanigans.” Demetri smirked and then nodded to Jaymeson. “Hey, Jay, can you spell it?”
“F-U-C—“
“Okay!” I stood, wincing as I realized how close my outburst sounded to actually finishing his spelling. “Who wants coffee?”
Lyss, Nat, Dani, and Pris raised their hands, of course all the girls were ready for an escape.
We quickly made our exit while Jay continued to spell every naughty word he could think of in front of my parents.
I think the low point came when my dad asked what a certain sex toy was and then asked my mom if it was physically possible — after all, she was the gymnast.
Maybe I should have taken Zane up on the offer for alcohol in the limo.
“Two hours max,” Lyss said in a confident voice. “And then you’ll get Zane back — just make sure he has some marshmallows.”
I laughed as most of the girls walked ahead of me, leaving Dani behind.
“I love him,” Dani said in a low whisper. “Not the way I love Linc, but I do love Zane. He’s special. Do me a favor.” She placed her hand on my arm. “Don’t stay if you don’t plan on sticking around — because he doesn’t deserve that, someone who will only be here during the good times and run when things get hard. I’m done watching Zane run.”
“Good.” I pulled her in for a hug. “Me too.”
She slumped against me as a sob broke out. “I’m terrified he’s not going to be the same, and his differentness is what makes me love him.”
It was weird, comforting her when I was technically the girlfriend, the one who was attached to him in ways she couldn’t possibly imagine, but it helped me deal with my own fear and grief, knowing that I wasn’t the only one barely holding it together.
“His uniqueness is what makes him amazing,” I agreed. “And if we’re lucky he’ll just get weirder after the surgery.”
She laughed.
“Did you know he thinks cheese is stupid?”
She gaped, her mouth moving as though she wanted to speak but nothing came out.
“He’s scared of giraffes too, something about long necks?” I conveniently omitted the miniscule detail of my antelope anxiety.
And that’s how I spent the next two hours: swapping Zane stories and making plans to make him a marshmallow castle — he just had to wake up from surgery.
He just had to wake up.
Zane
A headache that felt a hell of a lot like someone had run me over with a semi-truck set up camp near my temple just above my ear. The pounding was so intense I wanted to take a hammer to my head just so it would end.
“Hey there, sleepy head!” The woman hovering above me winked as my blurry vision focused in on her. “The surgery went fantastic, no hiccups, though we aren’t sure of any side effects until we keep you for the next week, alright?”
“Alright.” I answered.
“Good!” She blinked or winked. “Your speech sounds good, why don’t you tell me your name and what you do?”
“Zane Andrews,” I frowned. “And I’m…” My brain tugged at the information like I was in a fog. “Amazing?”
She burst out laughing. “Try again.”
“I sing.” My lips moved ahead before the memory could pull. “Saint.” Memories of concerts assaulted me, arriving in Seaside. “Girls throw their bras in my face, and I sign boobs for a living — I’m recording my album.” Details were still fuzzy, but they were there, I just needed to relax a bit, but something, something felt wrong.
I just wasn’t sure what.
Maybe it was the headache?
They rolled me back into an ICU recovery room and tilted the bed up so I could at least see in front of me, it was more comfortable than being on my back.
“He’s alive!” Jay made his way into the room followed by an impressive crowd of familiar faces, or at least semi-familiar. “Glad you made it, man.”
“Me too.” My voice sounded scratchy, which was probably normal since they put me under.
I still felt off.
Like something was wrong, but maybe it was because I’d evaded death? Maybe that was it?
The trip to the hospital had been emotional and…
The smile on my face fell.
How did I get to the hospital?
A car?
No, I didn’t drive.
An ambulance?
No, I’d said no to the ambulance, but why? I couldn’t remember, and every time something familiar came forward, I couldn’t grasp the memory, it floated out of reach.
Suddenly a girl burst through the crowd of people, marshmallows hanging from her hands. Tears streamed down her face. “You’re okay! Tell me you feel okay?”
“I’m okay.” I answered dumbly. “Have we met?”
The room fell silent.
Shit.
Her voice was familiar, her face was even familiar, but there was no attachment. I knew I should recognize her, I could tell it was important, she was really pretty, with big thick black-rimmed glasses and large eyes.
Her full lips pressed into a fake smile. “Um, I was guarding the marshmallows.”
It was a huge effort on her part, I could tell, not to burst into tears or maybe even slap me. Her lips pressed together into a thin line, her lower one trembling with ferocity while she clung to the marshmallow bag as though it was a lifeline.
She was important. I knew she was important, I just didn’t know why.
Hands trembling, she handed over the bag of marshmallows to me and then excused herself from the room.
Linc ran after her.
And the rest of the group stared at me like I was a complete stranger.
“How far back do you remember?” Demetri asked in a sober voice.
I frowned. “I don’t remember getting here, I mean I remember parts, but everything’s spotty. I recorded with you guys, a few weeks back and have been holed up in the house ever since.” My body rejected that falsity. “Or wait, that’s not right. I recorded a few kick ass songs, I remember nearly killing a piano in the process.”
Demetri’s face was tight. “What’s the date man?”
I shrugged. “O
ctober twentieth.”
Alec mumbled a curse and responded. “That was over four weeks ago.”
Most of the faces that stared at me were familiar, one of them in particular, an older gentleman held a woman’s hand, they seemed so nice, I wanted to talk to them, I wanted to hug the guy for some reason. I hated that I didn’t know why.
“I should know you, too.” I directed it at them. “Shouldn’t I?”
“Pretty sure all he needs to do is clean a gun in front of you and synapses will start firing,” Demetri said in a teasing tone.
“And the girl?” My voice shook, “The one who ran out of here?”
Jay’s eyes locked on mine. “You love her.”
“What?” My heart swelled, and my next breath stalled. “What do you mean?”
“She’s your girlfriend, son.” The man spoke with an easy smile. “But this here is a lot to take in after surgery, why don’t you rest a bit? We’ll all get some food and come back.”
“Okay,” I whispered, hating myself for letting them down, for having nothing but fuzzy gray areas where the last four weeks should have been.
“It’s going to be fine.” Jay slapped me on the shoulder. “Eat a marshmallow.”
Hah, my stupid answer to everything, at least that was still the same.
When they left, the headache worsened, I gripped the bag of marshmallows like a lifeline, then opened them, in desperate need to calm the hell down.
When I poured them out, a note fluttered onto my lap.
* * *
To Zane: From Zane
I knew you’d go here first. We are so freaking predictable. Look, the doc and I had a long talk while Fallon was in the bathroom. She was worried that I’d have some memory loss after the surgery. The good news, it’s probably short term, it should heal itself, it’s mainly just from the trauma, which is great.
But it’s going to hurt her.
You’re going to hurt her without realizing it.
Unless I’m an ass, and you’re totally fine right now, so if I’m an ass go screw your girlfriend and slap yourself on the back for being a modern day superhero, but if not, I kind of made a little fail safe.
I stored as many pictures as I could of us with Fallon. I want you to know how great she is, because here’s the thing — even if she’s a stranger to you now — she won’t be for long. Girls like Fallon are impossible not to fall in love with, and you’re a lucky bastard if you get to do it twice. Because that’s the thing, Zane, man, we love her, we love her so much.
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