“What’s your deal about carrying me?” she asked, as he plopped her on her back on his bed and put the milkshakes on his bedside table.
“It’s easier than you giving me crap about something,” he answered, standing over her and taking off his shirt. “I need a shower though, so you’ll have to wait.”
“Or, we can shower together again,” she countered, as Jeremy dropped his pants and boxers to the floor. “Yeah,” she said biting her lip and gazing up at him with a fierce hunger in her eyes. “You’re not showering by yourself.”
She giggled and pushed herself up off the bed. She was wearing a well-worn purple T-shirt with Rainbow Brite on the front and some ripped denim short shorts. Her long and slender dancer-legs seemed never ending and she took her time removing her clothes, knowing he was watching her with a hunger of his own. She plucked her shirt over her head, painfully slowly, tossed it at him with an airy laugh and stepped out of her jean shorts when they hit the floor. She stood in matching red lace underwear and was enthusiastically eyeing Jeremy’s obvious excitement. She pulled the red thong off and dropped it on top of the pile of her clothes on the floor, turned away from him and bent over, peeking back mischievously over her shoulder to look at him expectantly.
“Fuck it. Shower can wait,” he growled.
***
Jessica left just before midnight, she didn’t want to stay over, and if he was honest with himself, Jeremy didn’t want her to, either. When she left, he closed the door behind her, picked up the abandoned bag of food and found AJ still sitting on the sofa watching TV at a much more acceptable volume.
“You’re still up,” Jeremy remarked, as he dropped onto the opposite end of the sofa and opened the bag.
“Thankfully you’re not,” AJ retorted. “You think I could have slept through… that? That’s hilarious. I think everyone in our zip code is officially jealous of your sex life, Jer. That was… loud. Let’s go with loud.”
Jeremy grinned as he bit into a chicken nugget.
“Dude, aren’t you even going to microwave those first?” AJ’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “Wait, did she have to re-stitch your lip?” he asked with a laugh. “She’s not squeamish then.”
“Thankfully my very intelligent roomie reminded me that we have a fully kitted-out first aid box, complete with paper stitches,” Jeremy answered, proudly. “It kinda burst in a moment of passion and covered both of us in blood like a scene out of The Vampire Diaries. Felt like Damon frickin’ Salvatore!”
Jeremy realized that AJ was staring at him blankly. “What?”
“The… Vampire Diaries?”
“Guilty pleasure,” Jeremy answered, eating another chicken nugget. He winced as he chewed. “I’m gonna need to ice… all of this…” He gestured at his face.
“Zero sympathy for you, man. You did that to yourself!”
“Uh, I’m pretty sure Ryan did this to me.”
“And you made it worse by doing… eh… God only knows what with that woman!”
Jeremy opened his mouth to tell him precisely what he’d done with that woman, but AJ held up a hand to silence him.
“Nope. It’s staying between you, Jess and God. I don’t wanna know.”
You might not wanna know, but I sure as hell wanna do it again.
***
A few days later, Jeremy bumped into Jess again, at the bookshop. She grinned at him and flipped him off before he watched her leave the bookshop, put a helmet on and take off on a motorcycle.
Always full of surprises!
He had offered to pick up a gift for Ana from AJ. Her birthday was coming up and her favorite author had just released her new book. AJ had reserved a copy for Jeremy to grab while he was out running errands.
“Kelsey Kingsley, eh?” Adrianne eyed him suspiciously. “Can’t say I had you pegged for a romance reader, Jer.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Addie. But if you must know, it’s for my roommate’s sister.”
“It’s a good one,” she replied enthusiastically.
“I thought it only came out today, how did you—”
“Oh, I’m one of her ARC readers.” She cut him off, and seeing the confusion on his face she continued, “Y’know, advanced readers? Authors often send out advance copies to ARC readers to let them read the story ahead of publication. I guess the idea is to get a few reviews before of the official launch day. Or maybe it’s to have us all tell our friends how much we love this new book we read, who then go tell their friends or something, but, either way it works and I get her books ahead of time. I love her stuff, though, so it was kinda a no-brainer that I’d love The Life We Have, but at the same time it was something new. It’s her first same-sex romance, y’know, and there’s an age-gap. I was a little concerned I’d hate it, not cause of the same-sex thing, I mean, I’m totally cool with people being gay, I just… I dunno, I wasn’t sure she could write anything better than Warrior Blue…”
She must have realized she was rambling and clamped her mouth shut. Her cheeks pinked and she looked away, sheepishly.
“Well?”
“Well what?” she asked, still blushing.
“Was it better than Blue Warrior?”
“Warrior Blue,” she managed through a giggle. “And it was equally as good, and better in some ways. She nailed it. I read it in one sitting. I didn’t sleep ‘til I finished it.”
“Perfect,” he said, glad AJ hadn’t made a crappy choice of birthday gift for his sister. “She’s going to love it,” he added.
“Here…” She grabbed a Post It and started scribbling. “That’s her reader group on Facebook and if your friend’s sister doesn’t know about it already, there’s, like, bonus material at the end of her books that you get if you sign up to her newsletter. Sorry. I just… I get super excited about authors I like.”
“I see this. I’m sure Mr. Flamingo totally digs you geeking out over books. I’m sure it pushes all his dorky buttons.”
She blushed again and nodded shyly.
“Thanks for this.” He stuck the Post It inside the book on the dust jacket and offered her his card.
“Oh, Mr. Williams paid over the phone already. You’re good to go. And thanks for not making me feel weirder than I already do about my fan-girling word vomit. You’re a good friend, Jer.”
“Shhh!” he glanced around pretending to care about who overheard. “I got a rep to protect.” He winked at her. “We can’t have the whole campus thinking I’m some kind of good guy!”
“With a face like that, Jer, I don’t think anyone could assume that right now.”
***
“I was starting to think you got lost!” AJ greeted him from the kitchen as he made his way into the house.
“Your fault!” he groused. “That damn book you got for Ana, it turned Adrianne into a bumbling idiot when I tried to pick it up. Apparently, the author’s the best thing since sliced bread and Addie just needed to share her thoughts on the new book with someone before she exploded.”
“She invited you to her birthday dinner, it’s next week. The 13th.”
“I don’t think I have plans. We have a game on the 12th, don’t we? But nothing on the 13th, at least I don’t think I do, do I?”
“Dude, I’m not your secretary.”
“You love it. Count me in! Though now I gotta go find something to give her that’ll top the best book of the year. You shoulda heard her, Pim. I’ve never heard someone so excited about a goddamn book before. At one point, I think only dogs could hear her.”
AJ chuckled. “Yeah, Ana really loves her, too. I dunno what it is about her books, but Ana doesn’t sleep ‘til she’s read them.”
“I hear that’s going around,” Jeremy answered, shaking his head.
***
“Feel like I haven’t seen you in a while, man,” Jeremy started cautiously. He felt like AJ was struggling lately, but maybe he was just imagining it. He seemed ok on the surface, but every now and then Jeremy felt as thoug
h AJ didn’t have his shit together quite as well as he wanted the world to believe. “You don’t call, you don’t write.” He slid an egg out of the pan onto AJ’s plate. “You ok?”
“Yeah,” AJ answered, sounding not at all convincing. “I’m good, for the most part.” He poked at the egg with his fork and wouldn’t meet Jeremy’s inquiring gaze.
“Wanna talk about the other part?”
“Nah, Jer. I’m good. Really.” He glanced up, briefly, quickly casting his eyes back towards his plate.
“You sure? I’m a great listener, man and you know I got you if you need me, right? I’m here.”
Jeremy placed the pan into the soapy water, sat across the table from AJ, his plate piled-high with food and tucked in.
“Look, Pim. I feel like you’re not ok right now, and I don’t know what to do to help you, or to make things better. You’re distant and I’m worried about you.”
Understatement of the century, Jer. You already went and put a ‘worst case scenario’ plan in place in case he ever hurt himself. I’d say that’s a bit beyond worried about him.
“You know I’m here for you, right? ʼCause I am. If you need anything, you just tell me, ok?”
Jeremy spoke between bites, the silent resignation emanating from his friend was concerning.
“I’m ok, Jer. Really. I appreciate the concern, man. But I got this. It’s just a dip. It’s under control. You have nothing to worry about, ok?” He met Jeremy’s eyes and Jeremy could see pain, but he also saw resolve. He knew he had to trust his friend knew his limits and would reach out if he needed help.
He nodded. “Ok, well, the offer’s there if you need it.”
I feel like you might need it right now, Pim. I don’t know what your ‘just a dip’ looks like. Going out on a limb and trusting you here, man. I hope to fuck I’m not wrong.
Chapter 23
Mom: I am SO excited!
Jeremy: I know, Mom. You’ve mentioned that fact once or twice!!!
Dad: How do you think I feel? She’s had these tickets for nearly a month. Her excitement has ramped up – exponentially – every, single, day!!!!!!
Mom: Did I mention I’M SO EXCITED?
Mom: I can’t believe it’s actually here!
Mom: It’s today, right? Today is the 12th… right?
Jeremy shook his head and chuckled.
Jeremy: Yes, Mom. Today is the 12th.
“Your Mom again?” AJ asked, as he stared down his now traditional game day breakfast.
“You have no idea, man. She’s like a kid at Christmas. She’s so excited. I’m not even sure why she’s so excited. I should probably ask her, right? I mean, she’s been to concerts before, but she always seems to get giddy over this band.”
“I guess it’s her favorite.”
“I guess so. Anyway, she’s texting me pretty much every thirty seconds, to tell me how excited she is.”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his phone dinged with another message from her.
“See?” he demanded, exasperated.
“It’s cute, and you did that. She loves your present, that must feel good. So… how was your first therapy session with that dude you found?”
“That was a terrible change of subject, Pim, and she’s a chick,” he said, picking up a piece of bacon with his fingers and taking a bite. “Don’t look at me like that, she’s old enough to be my grandma, or at least my aunt, I don’t actually know how old she is. Her name is Sheila. And it went… it went.”
“Hey, man. I totally get it. You don’t need to say anything else, I just want to make sure it went ok and you’re doing ok after it. Therapy can be really hard, but it can also really help. I know, I know.” He held up a hand to silence Jeremy’s protests. “You don’t need help, and that’s fine, I know you’re good. I just meant that it’s kinda nice to have an hour, just sixty minutes of protected time with someone who’s completely dedicated to just… listening, I guess.”
“Yeah, it was kinda nice. I’m going back next week. I’ll give it a month or two and we’ll see how things go.”
“Sounds like a good plan to me. Not every therapist is a good fit, so if you wanna change it up and see someone else, don’t let one bad experience convince you that therapy sucks or anything.”
“Yes, Mom,” Jeremy answered with an eye roll.
***
Mom: We’re heading in. The Chargers are going to the playoffs for sure, and playing like this, they’re gonna win! Kick butt out there tonight, kiddo! And don’t drink too much, it’s a school night, love you x
Jeremy rolled his eyes as he read his Mom’s message. She’d sent it while he was on the ice and he typed a quick reply saying he hoped she was enjoying the show, before starting the car and heading home. AJ had stayed behind after practice to talk to Coach and told Jeremy he’d meet him at the bar later. Jer figured he’d drop the car at home, and have a quick bite to eat before heading to the bar, but when he spotted Wendy’s he opted for spicy chicken nuggets on the way home, instead.
As he walked into the bar, he found himself regretting chowing down on the second box of nuggets he’d bought to share with AJ when they got home after a night on the town. His stomach gurgled and he felt the unfamiliar pang of heartburn in his chest.
“You got any milk?” he asked the bartender.
“Milk?” he repeated, clearly confused.
Jeremy pointed at his chest. “Heartburn.”
“Ah. Sure, hold on.” The bartender nodded sympathetically and disappeared through a door for a moment before bringing back a tall glass of milk.
“Thanks, man. You’re a life saver.” He chugged the glass of milk and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand when he’d finished.
“Hey playboy,” a familiar voice purred in his ear. “I hear y’all won tonight, again.”
“We did.” He turned to flash Jess his winning grin and caught sight of Chelsea not too far behind her. She raised an eyebrow in his direction before disappearing into the crowd. “Fancy a celebratory quickie in the backseat of your car?”
“Sorry, toots. No car tonight and I gotta stay put, Pim’s on his way and I told him we’d celebrate with a beer.”
What the hell is wrong with you? Let’s not tell anyone you are turning down sex with this beautiful woman.
She pouted, clearly irked by the fact he wouldn’t drop everything to have his way with her and excused herself to the restroom but vowed she’d be right back to change his mind.
Checking his phone to see if AJ had texted, he saw he had a missed call from an unfamiliar number, dismissing the notification he glanced up at the TV behind the bar and noticed a ‘Breaking News’ alert for Detroit, Michigan.
Active shooter…
Well known theater…
Shooter in custody…
Not yet known how many casualties there are…
His chest constricted and his breath caught. Panic flooded his entire body.
Stay calm. It’s fine. I’m sure they’re fine.
He closed his eyes and tried to force himself to suck in a breath, instead he hiccupped, panic rising in his chest gripping him tighter and tighter. His stomach churned and his head began to thump with a dull ache. When he opened his eyes, the room spun and it felt as though the walls were closing in on him.
Air. Need Air. Get outside and call Mom.
As he burst through the door into the night air, he was met by a wall of humidity, it wasn’t the relief he’d expected, or needed. He stumbled towards the nearest wall to brace against so he didn’t collapse into a heap on the sidewalk and desperately tried to will his lungs to fill with air.
With shaking hands, he pulled up his mom’s number on his phone and as it rang and rang, his stomach churned harder.
Stay calm. It’s fine, maybe she just can’t hear her phone wherever she is.
Call Dad.
Still nothing.
He dropped his phone, swore and as he stood upright from bending to pick it up
, he felt instantly lightheaded as another wave of nausea washed over him. When his dad didn’t pick up either, he couldn’t fight the urge to puke and he bent over the wall and emptied his stomach.
“Well, she’s… interesting.”
Chelsea.
He pushed himself up off the wall and stood straight, turning on shaky legs to face her.
“And by interesting, I mean… well, intere— Jeremy!” She rushed to stand beside him, instantly concerned. “Are you ok? What happened, you look… Shit, Jer, you look awful. Here, sit down. Are you sick?” She laughed, nervously. “Did you drink too much already? Wait, didn’t you just get here?”
He met her worried gaze and saw panic across her face. He struggled to find words as her apprehension grew and her eyes darkened. His ever-reliable sense of humor and sharp wit had abandoned him. She’d clearly expected some kind of snappy retort but he had none to offer.
Active shooter…
Well known theater…
“I—”
He wasn’t sure what to tell her, there wasn’t anything he actually knew other than there had been a shooting, in the same building his parents were in and neither of his parents were answering the phone. He felt his entire body start to shake and somehow managed to turn and vomit over the wall once again. He felt a warm hand rubbing up and down his back as Chelsea soothed him.
“Food poisoning maybe, Jer? Maybe we should get you to urgent care or something?”
He vomited again and as he reached to take the outstretched Kleenex from Chelsea to wipe around his mouth, he took a slow and steadying breath, shaking his head.
“Here you are!” Jessica burst out of the bar and strode towards him.
Jeremy glanced at Chelsea, willing her to stay with his eyes.
“Oh, eh, I’ll… uh… leave you guys to it, then,” she stuttered.
“No, Chels… wait,” Jeremy started as she hurried inside before he could stop her.
Four Letter Feelings (The Jeremy Lewis Series Book 1) Page 14