"He should use you," Mason said.
"Me?"
He grinned. "When guys see you on posters and flyers, they'll come running. Maybe you'll attract some girls too," he added with a wink.
Adam rubbed his hands over his thighs. "You're saying no?" he asked, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice.
"I don't think I'm your guy. You're the face of the dance school, not me." Mason sighed. "I can ask my Artistic Director if you can have permission to use a couple of our publicity shots, okay? But if Luc wants a poster boy, you're the one he should be using. You're the face people will see when they join the school, not mine."
Adam wasn't convinced but nodded anyway.
"Let's head back to the hotel," Mason said, grabbing his jacket as he stood. "I can grab a shower and then you can tell me what's really on your mind."
"Sure." Just thinking about it made Adam’s palms sweaty. He knew he needed to talk to Mason; his friend was great at giving him a sense of perspective. However, he wasn't looking forward to admitting to anyone—even Mason—that he had the hots for his stepbrother.
The hotel Mason was staying in was so basic, there wasn't even anyone at reception. The room was small, with very little space between the double bed and the wardrobe. The quick glance Adam got of the bathroom before Mason vanished inside it, was of a space with a toilet, sink and shower cubicle that was only just big enough to manoeuvre; you definitely wouldn't want two people trying to get ready in there. Adam found himself glad he was only going to be staying a couple of nights. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend longer with Mason, but he liked his space. He told himself he was relieved he didn't have to keep hopping from hotel to hotel for most of the year.
He busied himself with sorting out somewhere he could sleep. He could only just open the wardrobe door fully, as it banged into the bed. Inside, he found a spare blanket and pillow and started to lay them down on the floor.
"What are you doing?" Mason asked from behind him.
Adam twisted around. Mason's hair was damp, the stage makeup was completely gone from his face and he was wearing a slim fitting T-shirt and a pair of boxers. He'd definitely lost weight but had gained more muscle definition.
"Sorting out somewhere to sleep."
Mason gestured to the bed. "It's a double, Adam. I think I can cope with you snoring and hogging the bed for a couple of nights."
"I hog the bed, do I?" Adam asked, putting his hands on his hips.
"Yup." Mason grinned. "At least you're not denying snoring." He grabbed the blanket and pillow from the floor and stuffed them back in the wardrobe. "You're not sleeping on the floor."
"Yes, boss."
Mason sat on the left-hand side of the bed, his legs beneath the quilt. "Okay, spill it."
Adam sighed and sat down on the other side of the bed, hugging his legs to his chest. He could feel Mason’s stare upon him, but couldn’t bear to look at his friend. It was as though he were being torn in two directions: half of him wanted it all out in the open, to confess his sins and get it over and done with; the other half of him wanted to clam up, so as not to ruin the strongest friendship he had.
“Adam?” Mason’s voice was soft enough to coax words out of Adam’s dry mouth.
"My head is so fucked up right now."
"I think you need to give me a bit of context. Is this to do with Luc?"
Adam turned his head sharply to stare at Mason. "How did you know?"
Mason raised his eyebrows. "Because Luc was always able to mess with your mind. It doesn't take a genius to put your screwed-up head, and him coming back, together. What's he done?"
Adam hesitated. There would be no going back or retracting his words. He knew Mason like the back of his hand, but even with that he couldn't predict how his friend would react.
"Don't hate me."
"Hate you?" Mason asked, his eyes wide. "You're my closest friend. I could never hate you."
Adam hoped that was true. "Luc told me he left because he was in love with me."
He watched Mason's face closely, looking for any sign of shock or judgement. Mason had tilted his head a fraction and his eyebrows were slightly pinched into a thoughtful expression.
"He says he still wants me," Adam carried on. "And once that thought was in my head..." he growled and shook his head. "I know it's wrong. He's my brother and I... I..." He clenched his fists and drove them against his knees, at a loss for words. "Say something," he muttered, after Mason had been quiet for far too long.
Maybe his friend was just as disgusted with him, as he was with himself.
Mason shifted, so he was laying down on his side, facing Adam, staring at him. He propped himself up on his elbow and inhaled slowly. "You're stepbrothers. You're not related."
"No, but Deborah adopted me and Dad adopted Luc when they got married. We all have the same surname, because Luc's was changed by deed poll. We are brothers." He stared at his knees. "Luc says it doesn't matter, that being together wouldn't be incest, but it is. No one's going to understand, especially not Mum and Dad. If we did anything, it would have to be in secret." Despite what Luc had said, Adam doubted his stepbrother would really want to say anything to their parents.
"Is that the part that's bothering you the most?" Mason asked. "The secrecy?"
Adam nodded and then shrugged. "I don't know. I want Luc, but at the same time I'm disgusted with myself for even daring to think that way. I've tried staying away from him, but he's like a fucking magnet. He keeps drawing me back to him. I don't know what to do, Mase, or what I should think or feel."
"Forget about should for a minute," Mason said. "What do you want?"
Adam turned to look down at Mason. "Luc," he said miserably. "I don't even know why I feel this way. It hadn't even entered my head that I could fancy him until he dropped that bombshell on me. But the second he did... Fuck."
The left-hand side of Mason's mouth curled into a smirk. "I see your mouth isn't any less dirty."
"We can't all be fucking choir boys," Adam retorted, glad Mason had made him feel a little lighter, if only for a second.
"I'm not a choir boy," Mason said softly. "You of all people should know that."
Adam did know that.
"Anyway," Mason said, drawing out the word. "The way you're feeling about Luc: do you think sleeping with him will get your lust out of your system, or are your feelings deeper than that?"
Adam lifted his shoulders in a slow, dramatic shrug. With a heavy sigh, he laid down on his side, mirroring Mason's position. "I don't know. At one point, I knew him better than anyone, so it's not impossible that I'm feeling something other than lust. But does it even matter?"
"I guess that depends."
"On what?"
"Whether the part of you that wants Luc is stronger than the part of you that thinks it's wrong."
"It's not just about what I think though, is it?" Adam asked, gradually feeling more frustrated. "It's about what everyone else thinks."
Mason's mouth curved into an incredulous smile, his eyebrows sloping up towards the centre of his forehead. "How many people told you boys don't do ballet?"
"Too many to count."
"Exactly. And did you let their opinions stop you?"
"It's different, Mase."
Mason's eyebrows raised even further, his smile becoming tighter. "Why?"
"Because wanting to be a male ballet dancer is completely different to wanting to fuck my brother."
"Stepbrother."
"Mum and Dad won't care about the semantics," Adam whispered.
"It sounds like you've already made your mind up. You're just waiting for your body to catch up."
"I haven't," Adam growled.
Mason arched an eyebrow. “Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. It’s obvious you want to be with Luc, even if you’re too scared to take that step.”
Adam sighed. Mason was right. “Do you blame me?” he asked miserably. “What am I going to do, Mase?”
"You have three choices," Mason said.
Adam widened his eyes, signalling he was ready to hear Mason's thoughts.
"You ignore how you feel and hope your lust goes away."
Mason's clear blue gaze studied him. Adam was pretty sure his friend was looking for some physical clue that would betray how he felt. Whether he was giving off non-verbal cues or not, Adam wasn't sure, but he did know that he felt a pang of despair, deep within his chest, at the thought of not being able to kiss Luc again.
"Or?" he asked, hoping Mason had some better options for him.
"You give in to your lust and see Luc in secret."
Adam's chest swelled at the thought of being able to be with Luc. To touch him, kiss him, blow him, and screw him. God, he wanted that so badly. But at the same time, the thought of keeping his desire secret from everyone smothered his lust with tar.
"Or?" His voice was tight.
"You see Luc openly and accept the consequences."
Adam's stomach dropped at that suggestion. He felt physically sick at the thought and was pretty sure he couldn't live with the consequences, whatever they may be. He couldn't hurt his parents like that. "What should I do?" he breathed.
Mason shook his head. "I can't make that decision for you.
Adam moved his elbow, so that he flopped fully onto the bed. "It's a mess, isn't it?"
"It's a difficult situation, yes," Mason replied quietly. "Sorry."
Adam stared at him. "You don't have to be sorry. Hell, you've acted really cool about the whole thing. I had visions of you chucking me out on the street."
Mason's expression became solemn, which was a very odd look for him. "I told you, you're my closest friend. I couldn't hate you. And for the record, just because we don't want to sleep with each other anymore, it doesn't mean I can't still care for you."
A moment passed, with neither of them looking away, or speaking. Adam couldn't put into words how much he missed having Mason around every single day. Mason had filled the void that Luc had created when he'd turned into a jerk. Because Luc fancied me, Adam reminded himself.
"I hope I've helped," Mason said. "At least a little bit."
"You have," Adam assured him.
"I've got to get to sleep," Mason said regretfully. "You might have the luxury of sleeping until noon, but I've got to be at the theatre at half eight."
"Rehearsals start that early?"
"We have a ballet lesson at nine and rehearsals start after that. But we have to be fully warmed up before the lesson, so, half eight."
Adam whistled. "That's brutal."
"But worth it," Mason said, his face lighting up with excitement. "So worth it."
Adam laughed and sat up, so he could pull off his T-shirt, socks and jeans.
"But hey," Mason said, the thrill still wobbling his voice. "I'll be done by four, so if you meet me at the theatre, we can do something for a couple of hours or so, before I've got to get ready for the performance."
Adam got under the covers and laid facing Mason again. "Thanks for listening."
"Anytime," Mason said. "I'm always here for you." He reached to the switch on the wall above the bed and flicked the lights off, plunging them into darkness.
Adam smiled, even though it was too dark for Mason to see. "Right back at you, Mase. Right back at you."
Chapter Fifteen
Adam
Adam wasn't sure if he was any closer to reaching a decision. He'd been mulling things over the whole time he'd been visiting Mason, especially during the hours they were apart. He'd talked things through with his friend again—and again—too, to the point where he was sure Mason must have either been bored or pissed off. Not that Mason showed any signs of having either reaction. The train journey home gave him plenty of time to think as well; perhaps too much time. His thoughts led him round in vicious circles that left him more and more confused.
He'd left for a train when Mason had headed to the theatre for rehearsals, which meant he was home just after lunch. He shut the front door behind him and tossed his keys in the basket that sat on top of the shoe rack. The house was quiet.
"Hi, I'm home!"
He wasn't sure why he bothered. He knew from years of living there that the sound of the front door closing could be heard throughout the house and probably their neighbours' houses, too. If no one had shouted 'hi' to him the moment he got in the door, they were probably all out. Come to think about it, he hadn't noticed his parents' car outside. Not that it meant much, they often had to park a street or two away. None of the houses had drives or garages and several of them had multiple cars, making parking a nightmare.
Then he heard soft footsteps coming down the stairs towards him. He stayed where he was, his heart kicking up a notch. Luc appeared on the middle floor landing a couple of seconds later. As usual, his feet were bare, which is why he hadn't made much noise on the steps.
"Hey," Luc said, making his way down the rest of the steps. "Good trip?"
His voice made Adam shiver in the most delightful way possible. His hands were clammy with desire; his mouth watered at the sight of Luc in his fitted T-shirt and tight jeans. And there was his answer; or at least, part of his answer.
"Are Mum and Dad out?" he asked.
"Yeah. They said they'd be back around six. They're at the studio, doing exam coaching lessons."
He couldn't hold back. He stepped up to Luc, twisted one hand into his stepbrother's hair, placed the other firmly on his lower back and dragged him close for a desperate open-mouthed kiss. Within seconds, Luc's arms were wrapped around him, one hand slipping beneath his T-shirt to caress his back. When their lips parted, they were both breathing hard.
"We need to talk," Luc whispered.
Adam shook his head. "Upstairs," he barked out. "We can talk later."
"Don't mess around with me again."
Adam pushed him towards the stairs. "Upstairs."
Luc grinned. "Yes, sir."
They rushed into Adam's bedroom, whereupon he grabbed Luc again, kissing him and touching him until he felt his stepbrother collide with the bed. He whipped his stepbrother's T-shirt off, pushed him onto the bed and straddled him, kissing his way from Luc's lips to the wispy trail of hair that vanished beneath his waistband.
"I want you naked," he said, lifting his head to stare at Luc seductively. "Now."
Luc chuckled. "Only if you're naked too."
Adam wasn't interested in slowly peeling Luc's clothes off. Now he'd made up his mind, he wanted Luc now. It seemed Luc had the same ideas. Their actions were frenzied as they stripped each other, kissing everywhere they could, their lips mashing together, their teeth occasionally clashing, their tongues battling for dominance. The battle turned Adam on even more. He liked that his stepbrother wasn't going to be gentle.
They collapsed onto the bed, touching and kissing. Their hands were rough on each other's bodies, eagerly searching for spots that made the other man shiver or gasp. But it wasn't fondling that Adam wanted. He pinned Luc to the bed, grasping his wrists above his head.
"I'm going to blow you," he said.
Luc grinned. "I was hoping you'd say that. But I want to taste you too. It's not fair for you to have all the fun."
Adam arched an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure it'll be fun for you, too."
"I want my mouth on you," Luc said. "Are you going to let me, or do I have to fight you?"
Adam chuckled, half tempted to make Luc fight him for the right to blow him. But he was too desperate to have Luc's cock in his mouth to want to waste any more time. He released Luc, turned and straddled him, rocking forwards onto his knees so his arse was hovering near Luc's face. He leaned forward onto his arms and then licked his way up Luc's already half-hard cock. Luc moaned as his dick stood to attention.
Holy shit, Adam was actually naked, with his stepbrother, about to suck his dick. It wasn't that the doubts had disappeared. They were still there: the revulsion, the fear and the guilt, but his lust was strong enough to cover
them all, so he could shove the negative thoughts very firmly to the back of his mind.
He swirled his tongue around the head of Luc's cock, paying close attention to the slit, where pre-cum was pooling. He lapped it up, making lip smacking noises to show his satisfaction and pleasure.
"Fuck, Adam."
Adam glanced over his shoulder. "I thought you wanted to taste me too? Do you want my dick, or my arse?" He knew he was clean back there; there was no way he'd have offered his arse up if he wasn't.
He loved the way Luc's eyes sparkled.
"I can't believe this is happening," Luc admitted, his gaze hungry.
Adam thrust his arse back a little. "Shut up and taste me," he said. "Arse or dick?"
"Arse," Luc said, his voice vibrating deep within his throat. "Oh, fuck, I'm going to enjoy this."
He placed his hands on Adam's butt cheeks, parting them, before licking from the top of his crack to his hole. Adam shivered and groaned and then turned his attention back to Luc's dick. He took the head into his mouth, sucking hard. He used his tongue as well as his muscles to bring Luc pleasure. In return, Luc's hot tongue thrust into his arse, making him groan around Luc's cock.
Luc pulled his tongue out. "Fuck," he hissed. "How do you expect me to concentrate?"
Adam released Luc's cock slowly, before glancing back again with a smirk plastered on his engorged lips. "The same way you expect me to concentrate."
He took Luc's dick into his mouth again, further and further until he couldn't take any more. At the same time, Luc's tongue had returned to his arse, alternating between rimming him and plunging in and out of his arsehole. The sensation was delicious and it inspired him to step up his own attempts to make his stepbrother cum. He held all his weight on one arm, so his other hand was free to play with Luc's balls, squeezing and rolling until Luc was squirming beneath him. Luc's hips thrust upwards and thick cum spurted into Adam’s mouth. He swallowed it down, sucking hard until Luc was completely spent. He was on the verge himself. His balls had drawn up tight and he felt a warm, stirring sensation in the pit of his stomach. He thrust backwards, against Luc's tongue, needing to feel it deeper inside him.
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