Her fingers found me and thrust, and I did the same, taking her with me. She gave a soft cry and tipped her head back. She wrapped her legs around me, her hips moving in an age-old rhythm. Then she cried out again, and I felt the waves rushing through her; I felt them with my hand and it brought me to the edge and then pulled me over. An answering throbbing filled my sex, and I held onto her as our breathing became harsh, then eased. I couldn't stop trembling. The fur beneath me was warm, but I shook anyway. Then Selena wrapped her arms around me, and I fell asleep.
Chapter Twenty-four
I don’t know if we woke because of the cold or the silence, but whichever, we both sat up and looked around. The torches had burned nearly to embers. No more heavy breathing came from the back of the immense cave. Selena leapt to her feet. ‘They’ve gone,’ she cried, and her voice chilled me.
We dressed and rushed out of the cave into the darkness. Selena wept. Her feet slipped as she scrambled up the snowy slope. When we reached the clearing, the night erupted with thousands of voices. In the firelight, I saw everyone standing. On the far side, there was a high stone altar with three men on it. Anoramix was one. He raised his arms and cried, ‘Make way for the goddess!’
The people saw me coming and parted. A wide aisle opened, and I walked down it, Selena at my heels. I climbed onto the altar. Ten steps that felt like ten hundred. Anoramix took my hands and pulled me to the centre of the stone altar. I felt groggy, dazed from the wine, and frightened. The ceremony became suddenly real.
Selena stayed at the foot of the stairs. She looked up at us, face twisted with grief, hair unbound and streaming in the wind. ‘Anoramix,’ she cried.
He froze. The colour drained from his face. ‘Why are you here?’ he whispered. Only I could hear him. His lips hardly moved.
‘Please, don’t do this,’ she begged.
‘I must.’
‘The babe is yours,’ she said, stepping closer to the stairs and holding her robe tightly to her belly, showing him the round curve.
He smiled. Two spots of colour appeared on his cheeks. ‘Then it is true,’ he said. ‘I will live for ever. Take care of him. I will look for you in the green meadow when your time has come.’ Without another glance in her direction, he went to take his place next to the other two men.
Paul stood nearby. He was naked and tied by his hands to a stout post. The crescent moon scar on his shoulder seemed to give off a light of its own. His face was white beneath his dyed hair, and his mouth trembled. His eyes bulged with fright. I gave no more thought to Selena or Anoramix; in two steps I crossed the altar and took Paul in my arms.
‘Anoramix said I mustn’t be afraid,’ he said, his voice quivering. ‘And that I must close my eyes, because the blood will burn. When it’s over, you can untie me and wrap me in those furs. Father will carry me to the cave.’
‘Where is your father?’ I asked.
‘I’m not sure. When the ceremony started he was with Nearchus. He’ll be here soon, I hope.’ His voice dropped to a whisper, ‘I’m so scared.’ Tremors shook his arms and legs.
‘You won’t be hurt,’ I said. My eyes were drawn to the scar on his shoulder. Why was it glowing? Part of my mind wanted to know the answer; another part refused to think of it.
‘I’m not scared for myself,’ Paul said, tears in his eyes now. ‘I don’t want anyone to die because of me. Don’t you understand? I know perfectly well that if it wasn’t for me, these men wouldn’t have to die.’ His words tumbled over each other.
‘I wish there were something I could do to stop it,’ I told him. ‘But, Paul, they’re adults, and they know full well what they’re doing. I don’t want you to feel responsible for anything that happens to them, please?’ I saw that my words had no effect on him, so I took his face in my hands. Looking into his eyes, I said clearly, ‘It is not your fault. Do you understand me?’
He nodded, his cheeks, wet with tears.
Someone tugged on my arm and I turned. A druid stared at me. His beard sparkled with snow crystals, and he held a sharp knife made of gold. ‘We must end his power now,’ he said.
I blessed the sacred grove, the altar, and the knife. Then we spoke the ritual words from the Chants for Persephone.
Anoramix stood before me, a slight smile on his face as he recited the chant.
‘“I come from a virtuous people, O Queen of Hades, for I believe I belong to your kind. But destiny struck me down. I broke free from the circle of pain and sorrow and leapt lightly toward my chosen crown. I take refuge in the arms of the Lady, Queen of Hades.”.’
‘ “O blessed one, O fortunate one”,’ I said loudly, trying to put my heart into it. ‘ “You have become a god from the man you once were.”.’
Anoramix looked at me and gave a sweet smile. ‘ “Kid, I fell into the milk”, he said. Then he embraced me, holding me tightly against his chest. I felt his heart thudding with painful slowness. Mine was pounding madly. He let go of me and stepped away. Two druids caught his wrists and laid him backward on the stone altar.
He didn’t take his gaze from mine as they cut his throat. His smile didn’t fade. Only his grey eyes became strangely opaque as his life left him in a scarlet fountain.
‘Thank the gods!’ screamed the watching thousands.
I fainted, thank the gods.
Druids collected the blood and poured it over Paul. I came to when Nearchus picked me up and slung me over his shoulders. Then Alexander wrapped Paul in wolf skins and picked him up.
The crowd fell silent. I could hear my breathing, Paul’s sharp sobs, and Cerberus growling at the druids who got too close to the boy.
‘I’m awake, put me down,’ I whispered.
Nearchus nearly dropped me. ‘Sorry, I’m nervous,’ he said, setting me on the ground. His hair clung to his brow damply and his eyes were nearly all pupil. His hands shook.
The crowd parted to let us through. I didn’t look at the three bodies. I didn’t want to faint again. I felt like vomiting and gritted my teeth together.
I saw Selena and tried to speak to her, but she pushed me away. ‘Because of you, he’s dead,’ she spat. ‘I didn’t get to speak to him in the cave. I could have stopped him. I would have saved him.’ Her voice was raw with sorrow, and hatred blazed in her eyes.
I didn’t say anything; I knew how she felt. I too had wanted to save the one I loved from certain death.
She turned her back to me and pushed her way through the crowd. Yovanix went to her side, and she buried her head in his chest. I saw her shoulders shaking.
There was a bitter taste in my mouth. Hot tears scalded my cheeks. I bent my head and stumbled after Alexander. He was easy to follow; blood dripped from the bundle in his arms and stained the snow. In the torchlight, the blood was black.
When we reached the druid’s cave, Alexander put Paul in front of the fire and unwrapped him. The stench of blood was overpowering. I ran, retching, from the cave. I fell on my hands and knees outside and threw up in the snow. The wine I’d drunk was making me sick. I already had a hangover from the stuff. My stomach heaved and I vomited again. The snow was cold, but it felt wonderful against my hot forehead. I rubbed it over my face and felt better. My head spun, but I was upright and my stomach was empty now. I took a deep breath and went back into the cave.
Paul was mostly clean. Alexander had filled a caldron with hot water, and he’d sat Paul in it. I was brought to mind the cartoons I’d seen of explorers in a cannibal’s soup pot. My laughter died in my throat. Alexander was staring at me with the strangest expression.
Then Alexander turned back to Paul and started washing the sticky blood from his hair. Axiom was sitting nearby. In his hands were clean and dry clothes for Paul. He glanced at me, then quickly looked away. He too had given me an odd look. I looked down at myself. I felt my cheeks flame. ‘Damn,’ I said in surprise.
I had left my tunic in the cavern. I wore my woollen cloak, and nothing else. Ribbons of blood, splashes of mud, melted snow, and de
ep scratches covered me. And on my left breast, a lovebite was clearly visible. I frowned. This would not do. I turned and left the cave. The cold was biting; dawn was just beginning to grey the sky. I went to the river to bathe. Too bad if I froze to death. I wasn’t sure I’d feel anything anyway. I was numb, in body and mind.
The crowd hadn’t left. Rather they seemed to be having a picnic. They were eating something. I went closer to have a look. They were eating raw meat. The bodies were gone, but their whitish-pink bones were starting to appear on the stone altar. The sacrificed men were being devoured. The druids were making quite a show of cutting them up into tiny pieces and passing the bits around on a golden plate.
The people lined up as if going to Communion. “This is my body …” The Orphics were eating their sacrificial victims. I fainted for the second time that evening.
Chapter Twenty-five
I didn’t wake up until the following morning. I was lying next to the fireplace. It was warm near the embers. I sat and looked around. Cerberus slept curled next to me, his back pressed against mine, his head on Paul’s legs. I searched for Alexander but didn’t see him. With a groan, I struggled out of the furs and got stiffly to my feet. My mouth felt like something had died in it during the night, and I was filthy. Blood stuck my fingers together. With strange detachment I pulled them apart, rubbing the little black flakes of dried blood off my hands as I walked outside.
The snow was nearly all trampled away by the night’s festivities. Most people had left, but a few remained. They were now packing their belongings and getting ready to leave. Spirals of smoke from campfires looked like blue tissue-paper streamers reaching for the sky. The snow had been turned to muddy slush on the paths. I walked down to the river’s edge and stripped off my dirty cloak. I looked at the blood caked on it, then I tossed it into the river and watched as the swift water took it away. I shivered.
‘That was a strange thing to do.’ Alexander looked at me from across the river, where he’d been standing beneath the trees.
‘I don’t want it any more. It was covered in blood.’
‘So was Paul, but I washed it off.’
I didn’t smile. There was nothing to smile about. I was tired and unhappy. My stomach hurt, my head ached, and I didn’t know what I felt any more. Alexander walked over the bridge and took my hand.
‘I’ll help you bathe,’ he said softly. I just nodded.
There was a crude bathhouse near the stream. In it stood a tub of hot water. Alexander had anticipated my every move. I climbed in. When I’d washed my skin and hair, I took a small birch twig and brushed my teeth. Then I dressed in the clean clothes he’d brought for me.
Alexander had been silent, sitting in the corner, but now he spoke in an odd voice. ‘What did you do last night in the cave?’
My hands, I saw, were steady now. I held them out in front of me and frowned. Then I let them fall to my sides, and said, ‘what do you think happened?’
‘I would prefer you to tell me.’ He spoke evenly. There was nothing in his voice to hint at what he felt.
I started to laugh. It was a low laugh that shook me. An embarrassed laugh, because I was not proud of myself. ‘I’ll tell you what happened,’ I said, wiping tears out of my eyes. The laughter had turned sour suddenly. ‘I got drunk on the ceremonial wine, and I made love with the Roman’s wife. I didn’t want anyone to die, and a man was killed in front of me while looking straight at me with a smile on his face. And then they ate him.’
‘What?’ Alexander sounded shocked. I didn’t know what he was ‘what-ing’ about. The fact I made love to a woman, the fact Anoramix smiled at me, or that he’d been eaten.
‘What “what”?’ I asked crossly.
‘They ate him?’
‘Didn’t you know?’ I said tiredly. ‘Where did you find me last night? I remember going to rinse off, seeing them eating the raw meat, then I woke up next to Cerberus. Where were you?’ My tears were falling faster now. I brushed them away. ‘I needed you yesterday, and you were nowhere to be found. I looked and looked. I wish …’ I stopped, hot blood flooded to my cheeks. ‘I’m sorry. I apologize. It wasn’t your fault. I lost control of myself. I’m ashamed.’
‘You wish what?’ his voice sounded odd too.
‘I wish we could have avoided all this. It seems to have changed so many things. My perception of death, of love, of fear.’ I started to tremble, so I shut my eyes tightly. ‘I’m afraid that nothing will ever be the same, and I was so happy before all this. Tell me, Alex, do you still love me? Are you shocked about my making love to Selena? Tell me the truth, I can face it.’ I turned to him and opened my eyes.
His face was still. But a curl at the edge of his mouth betrayed a smile. ‘I love you still. I will always love you. Didn’t you tell me one day that love was not something that could be given and taken away like a treat?’
‘You remember everything,’ I said, shaking my head in wonder.
‘Well, except the day Barsine knocked me unconscious.’ His smile grew. He looked down at his feet then back up at me, his parti-coloured eyes half-serious, half-mocking. ‘I was hurt. You know how jealous I get. When I saw you with Anoramix, I was sure that you’d made love to him.’
‘Would you have forgiven me?’ I asked.
‘I don’t know. I was ready to hear you tell me about it. I was even ready to try to forget. I wasn’t sure how I would react. I think I love you too much. I’m not shocked. You were drunk on ceremonial wine, shattered with nerves, and frightened for Paul.’ He tilted his head. ‘Will it happen again?’
‘No. What about Nearchus?’ I asked. As long as we were getting everything out in the open.
He blinked. ‘Oh.’
‘Oh,’ I agreed. ‘I know where you were last night.’
Two red spots appeared on his cheeks.
‘Did you do it for revenge?’ I asked, curious.
‘Actually, I drank the wine too.’ His laugh was brief.
‘I wish I’d found you before I’d gone in that cave. I think I’d feel better this morning. Selena won’t want to see me again. She loved Anoramix, did you know? They were lovers; the babe is his. She wanted to save him last night, and that’s why she went into the cave.’ My smile was wry. ‘I’ve seen Nearchus watching for his chance for ten years now. Are you in love with him?’
‘I was, once. Last night Nearchus held me anchored to the earth. I needed you, but you were gone. I didn’t know where to search.’
‘I must have been in that dreadful cave. At least you found me when I fainted,’ I said.
‘It wasn’t I who found you, nor Nearchus. It must have been Axiom. He looked after Paul as well. I think we’re lucky to have him.’
‘We’re lucky to have each other,’ I said.
‘Nearchus is afraid you’ll be angry.’
‘Do you want me to act angry? Will it make it easier?’
‘Easier?’ His laughter was warm now. I felt his relief washing over me. My own body suddenly relaxed. The knots in my neck and belly dissolved.
I smiled and shook my head. ‘No, forget what I said. I’ll talk to Nearchus. It’s a conversation long overdue. We’ve known each other too long to walk on eggs around each other.’
‘“Walk on eggs”? What kind of ceremony is that? Do you do that in your time when you speak to someone?’
‘Only if the conversation promises to be exceedingly difficult.’ I stepped toward him, and he met me halfway. His body fit into mine, and I sighed. I felt the familiar flat muscles and bones beneath my hands, the strong neck to bury my face in, with the pulse beating in the base of his throat. I smiled. ‘I feel like I’ve come home,’ I whispered.
We stayed for three days in the druid’s forest. We had to wait until the replacement druid came. He was an older man, with a long beard and unbleached woollen robes. He looked exactly how I imagined a druid would; he carried a large woven basket over his shoulder, and a golden sickle in his right hand. In his left hand was a long st
aff, and a hound dog trotted at his side, tongue lolling. The dog pulled a travois with the rest of the druid’s luggage on it.
Paul immediately set about making a harness for Cerberus, which took his mind off the ceremony and kept him busy for the rest of the time we were there. He woke up screaming every night now. Between Paul’s nightmares and my cold – I had a fever and chills from walking through the snow barefoot – I couldn’t get any sleep. The new druid took one look at me and cooked up a steaming hot potion. The drink smelled like lemons and spice and made me sleep nearly a whole day, but when I woke up, I felt much better.
The cave needed to be cleared out. Anoramix’s things were sorted into two piles: the things the druid wanted to keep and those he was throwing away. We all worked hard. We knew that we’d be able to leave once everything was organized, and none of us wanted to stay a moment longer.
Around noon on the second day, a horse and wagon pulled up. In it were Selena and Yovanix.
I looked up from my work and felt my cheeks burn. I wanted to run and hide at the back of the cave. I thought that facing the doorway of skulls would be easier than seeing Selena. Yovanix helped her out of the wagon. She stood for a minute in the mud, then straightened her shoulders and started toward the cave.
Cerberus saw them coming and barked, but his tail was wagging so hard his hind legs kept slipping out from under him. He bounded happily toward Yovanix, skidded to a halt, then jumped up and planted muddy feet on his chest. ‘Greetings,’ said Yovanix, staggering. He cleared his throat. ‘We’ve come to see you, My Lady.’ He’d shaved off his moustache and now looked about seventeen.
I sighed and put down the clothes I’d been folding. I’d folded one shirt eight times since Selena had arrived, and it still looked like a crumpled rag. I stood and wiped my hands on my tunic, then nodded toward the hearth. ‘Come in, get warm. Will you have a bowl of soup?’
Chants to Persephone: The Future of the World Hangs on a Knife's Edge - and Only a Human Sacrifice Can Save It Page 14