“Luke, I don’t know what else to say except that I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I know to the bottom of my heart that you would never hurt me or any other woman or child. You’re one of the good guys. It was obvious the first time I met you.”
At first, she wondered if he’d heard her. He didn’t react. Didn’t say anything. Just watched her, his brown eyes boring into her soul.
She rose. “I really enjoyed today—until now. Thank you, and I hope you can forgive my faux pas, because that’s all it was.” Her heart cracked as she grabbed her purse.
The longer he didn’t respond, the tighter the knots got in her stomach. Tears welled in her eyes as she wondered how everything had blown up so fast. Then her Irish temper kicked in.
Dammit. She would not walk out of there like a puppy with its tail between its legs. “It was a mistake, Luke. People make them all the time. I make a ton of them.” It pissed her off that he was so…alpha.
Before she made it to the door, Luke stopped her, his hand on her shoulder. Relieved, she closed her eyes, hoping to blink away the tears, and she turned around.
“Wait, Gwen.” Luke sighed heavily, and his eyes softened, losing the burning embers of anger. “You’re right. Now, I need to apologize. I turned it into a big deal. That’s on me and my baggage.”
The anger drained out of Gwen as fast as it’d flared to life. She hoped someday he’d share what he’d been through. Or maybe she didn’t want to know.
Exhaustion settled heavily on her shoulders. She was emotionally and physically drained. They’d run the gamut of emotions in such a brief time.
“Do you think you can forgive me? That we can move beyond this?” Luke asked.
“I can, but can you? I’m sure this won’t be the only time I say something that will affect you like this.”
“I know, but I want to try. My emotions were raw, my head wasn’t clear, and it hit me hard. I’m in uncharted waters here. You are important to me. I wanted today to be perfect, and instead, I fucked it up.”
Gwen rubbed her palm over his heart, the warmth of his chest easing some of her worry. “Did we just have our first fight?” She flashed him a smile.
“I guess you could say that. Does that mean we get to have make-up sex?” Luke waggled his eyebrows, making her giggle.
“Whoa there, cowboy, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” The earlier tension evaporated and eased the pain pulsing in her chest. They would be okay…at least for now.
“Can’t blame me for trying,” he said with a sheepish grin.
“Never. But I should hit the road before I say—or do—something else I shouldn’t.”
The last thing Gwen wanted to do was walk out the door. But make-up sex would definitely happen if she stayed. He lit her on fire with the slightest touch or smile. She wasn’t ready for more, not yet, no matter how tempting. She needed to leave. Gwen didn’t want to have any regrets when they finally made love.
Luke pulled her into his arms and rested his chin against her head. Then he leaned down and tilted her chin up, so she’d look at him.
“Today was wonderful except for that one small part. I really want to see you again. Will you give me another chance to prove I’m not a pig-headed ass?”
Part of her wanted to make him sweat a little, but subterfuge wasn’t part of her toolkit. “Yes, I will. And I’ll try to watch what I say the next time you fry my brain with your kisses. But no promises.”
Luke tossed his head back and laughed. It filled her with joy.
“Thank you, princess. You won’t be sorry,” he said once he stopped laughing. With a wicked gleam in his eyes, he lowered his lips and took her mouth in a scorching kiss, making love to her mouth.
Gwen melted against him and slid her arms around his waist. She needed his strength to keep her knees from buckling. Damn. Making love to this man might just kill her.
He breathed harder as he lifted his mouth from hers. “Hopefully, that helped erase at least some of my assholiness.”
“Oh, yeah, you definitely wiped that slate clean.”
He dropped a gentle kiss on her lips and handed her the glass of iced tea. The lines of his face softened as he smiled.
She said, “Aside from that one hiccup, today was wonderful. I had a lot of fun at lunch, and it was great running into Destiny again. And your library is magnificent. But mostly, your kisses were amazing.” Even with their argument, it was still the best date she’d ever had.
“I could kiss you all day, princess. And I agree. Today was almost perfect. I’d rather have had you all to myself at lunch.”
“Well, if you ask me out again, maybe next time we’ll be alone.”
“You can count on that. Unfortunately, it looks like our team is leaving on a mission tomorrow.”
“How long will you be gone?” Gwen had known this would happen eventually, but she’d been hoping for a lot later. It was so new, and there was so much to learn about him still. Being a badass soldier was his job, and she would support him.
“I’m not sure. But even if I knew, I couldn’t tell you. This part of my job sucks for relationships, and I’ll understand if you’d rather just walk away now.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Well, I am going home. But you told me from the beginning it would be like this. You’re putting your life on the line to keep us safe.”
He lifted her in his arms and swung her in a circle, then gave her a heated kiss that curled her toes.
“Wow, talk about being swept off my feet.” Gwen giggled. “You can put me down now, big guy.”
“You’re so beautiful, a tiny little geek with the most amazing curves. I know this won’t be easy. It’s part of the reason I’ve avoided a committed relationship. But there is something about you, about us…” Luke sighed. “I don’t mean to sound so intense.”
“I think you were born intense. You’re not scaring me away—yet. Being with you feels right, and I can’t explain it, either.”
“I wish I could take you home and kiss you goodnight at your door.” Luke grinned.
“I think I can make it home by myself, and I need to get going. Will you be able to contact me while you’re gone?”
“Probably not. If I can, I will. I promise I’ll be in touch as soon as I get back.”
A horrible thought slithered into her mind. One she didn’t want to think about. What if he got wounded…or worse? Would anyone tell her? Or would he just disappear, and she’d just have to wonder?
Luke pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist. She laid her head on him and sighed as his heart beat slow and steady.
“You have Destiny’s information. She won’t know much more than you, but if something happens, she’ll let you know. Okay?”
“All right, but please be careful. I know you can’t tell me, but I’ve kind of figured out that your team is some kind of special operations. I won’t ask, so you don’t have to worry.”
His gentle smile helped ease her fear. He’d been doing this a long time, more than a decade, and knew how to protect himself. Zip had said he’d saved their butts more than once.
“I promise to be careful, princess. And I’ll be back before you know it.”
Chapter 8
Early the next morning, Merlin left a note for Kim, his housekeeper, letting her know he’d be out of town for a while and asking her to take care of his herbs.
As he re-read the note, he smirked at how domestic he’d become. He’d hated knowing someone was in his house while he wasn’t there. But after meeting Kim and getting to know her, she’d grown on him. She respected his privacy and did an excellent job keeping the house up to his mother’s standards while leaving his bedroom and the library alone.
The weight of the pending mission had kept him awake most of the night. There was something off. He knew it like he knew the back of his hand. After hours of lying in bed, he’d given up and gone downstairs.
When he’d stepped into the library in the middle
of the night, the scent of honeysuckle had lingered just enough for him to inhale and imagine Gwen in his arms. But thoughts of her wouldn’t help him sleep, either.
Thank goodness he hadn’t blown it by being a total asshat. That he’d blown up at Gwen proved how worried he was about this mission. It didn’t help that he’d had to fight the urge to make love to her all afternoon.
In the library, Merlin had gone over his notes, pulled up satellite photos, and researched the Daesh. But no matter what he found, the missing piece of the puzzle evaded discovery.
Finally giving up, he’d dressed and headed to post. He’d packed his bag the night before while he’d been talking to Gwen on the phone. He hadn’t planned on calling her, but when she texted that she’d gotten home, he couldn’t resist hearing her voice again. Especially since he didn’t know how long he would be away.
The sun had just risen over the horizon as he pulled into the parking lot on post. The morning air was refreshing as he warmed up with some stretches before taking off on the track.
Inhaling deeply, he pushed hard, always going for his fastest time. The harder he ran, the more his tension dissipated. He enjoyed the silence, punctuated by the pounding of his feet on the track and the birds. For the first time in hours, his head cleared. The sweet scent of the morning and the light breeze helped him focus.
The wind direction changed, and he caught a whiff of honeysuckle. He’d run the track for months, but it wasn’t until that morning he’d picked up the scent. Gwen’s face appeared in his mind—her sweet smile, how her soft, auburn hair would fall over her eyes, and she’d push it back behind her ear.
After yesterday, he had new memories—the feel of her against him, her taste. He’d never get enough of her if he lived forever. Thank God he hadn’t blown it yesterday by overreacting to her innocent comment. There was no way in hell she’d know references to drugs and abuse were one of his triggers. How could she? They’d just met.
The Delta Team 3 had rescued countless innocents over the years. So many women and children were drugged, kidnapped, sold into slavery, or auctioned off to the highest bidder. Those missions tore him apart. He was haunted by the sight of their bruised faces and the slight glimmer of hope when they realized they were safe. Merlin had lived with the nightmares for years, but never shared them with anyone.
Merlin had almost let Gwen go after that, more hurt than angry and too damn stubborn to give in until she’d blown up. Gwen had been glorious in her anger. Not that he’d want to see it often. With eyes flashing emerald sparks and her cheeks bright pink, she’d looked like an avenging angel. Just thinking about it made him grin.
But their kisses… She had tasted like lemon and sunshine. Like salvation.
As he thought about Gwen, the toe of his sneaker caught on a rock, and he almost tripped. Damn. He’d almost traded a raging erection for impending doom. It was uncomfortable as all hell. Who got a hard-on while they were running?
Gwen had bewitched him, and instead of wanting to run away, he wanted more. That was the biggest surprise of all. But unless he wanted to advertise his morning wood, he needed to focus on the mission and not his redheaded princess. Recalling the intel he’d read the night before did the trick as he heard the pounding feet approaching his six.
“What took you jokers so long?” Merlin said as the rest of the team caught up to him.
“Not our fault you have no life,” Zip said with a grin.
Duff grunted, and Jangles chuckled.
“The better question is why are you busting your ass? Did you get more intel?” Woof asked.
“I know what you know,” Merlin answered, hating to deceive his team. But Roe had given him orders. He couldn’t tell them that command didn’t trust Sand, either, or that command would supply their orders—not the CIA POC—until they were on the transport and headed to Egypt.
Merlin shook his head. “Just can’t get the feeling that something big is going down and I’m missing something.”
Duff gave another grunt, but it was a normal reaction to his premonitions. Now, Merlin hoped he could figure out the missing piece before their asses ended up in deep shit.
After giving the team a hand signal that he was heading to the locker room, they acknowledged without breaking their pace. They might give each other a ton of shit, but he couldn’t have asked for a better team—even Duff, the grumpy fucker.
By the time the rest of the team returned, Merlin had showered and dressed in his uniform. He’d just poured his second cup of coffee and was reviewing the intel one last time before the briefing.
When Zip stopped in front of Merlin’s desk, he looked up. “What’s up?”
“I wanted to make sure we were good after yesterday. I should have thought about it before we hijacked your date,” Zip said.
“It’s not how I had hoped the date would go, but it worked out okay. Gwen was thrilled to see Destiny again. It will be good for her to have someone who understands what she’s going through when we’re gone.”
“Yeah, Des really liked Gwen, too. But damn, she let me have it when we got home.”
Merlin laughed as he pictured Zip getting his ass handed to him. “You don’t look upset, though. I’m guessing you took care of it before you said goodbye?”
Merlin didn’t expect an answer. Payback was a bitch, and he still owed Zip for showing up yesterday—even if it worked out for the best.
Zip shook his head and went to take a shower.
It was only zero seven thirty, but waiting for the briefing made him restless all over again. He hoped Hassan had checked in, and they’d have a temporary reprieve. He wanted to find the missing puzzle piece before they had to HAHO—high-altitude, high-opening—parachute into the middle of the Sinai Desert.
Even after reviewing the intel until he’d memorized every word, he still couldn’t figure out how the CIA had determined that a kidnapping would be a coverup for a major bombing—especially when it hadn’t happened yet. But there was no indication of that or even evidence of a target for the kidnappers.
Merlin leaned back in this chair and ran his hand through his hair. The tension tightened his shoulders and sent searing pain into his temples. There wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it, either.
His phone vibrated in his pocket. The last person he’d expected to hear from at that moment was Gwen, but seeing her name brought a smile to his lips.
Gwen: I don’t know when you’re leaving. But please stay safe.
Merlin: Good morning, princess. I promise to be as safe as possible.
Gwen: Morning. I should have led with that. In case you didn’t know, I like you, Luke. Maybe even really like you.
Gwen’s timing was perfect. He’d needed a distraction.
Merlin: I really like you, too, princess. Just don’t change your mind while I’m gone.
Gwen: Don’t worry, big guy.
The guys came in from their showers and gave him an odd look as he chuckled. They rarely saw him smile, let alone laugh.
Merlin: Good. Remember, text Destiny if you need anything. She’s been through this before. Gotta go. I’ll try to text before I leave.
Gwen: Okay. I will. Bye.
“What’s up with the shit-eating grin?” Duff asked. “You looked like a storm cloud ten minutes ago.”
Zip laughed. “It’s got to be Gwen.”
Merlin shook his head and didn’t confirm or deny Zip’s comment. “C’mon, time for the briefing. Let’s hope the CIA has come up with better intel since yesterday.”
They nodded in agreement. Merlin might be the one with premonitions, but they all could see the shit storm coming.
Sand and Turano were in a heated discussion as Merlin and the team entered the briefing room. From the little Merlin overheard as they sat down the table, nothing had changed. The frustration on Turano’s face jacked Merlin’s tension level from an eight to a twelve.
When Turano turned toward the team, they stood and saluted.
“At e
ase and take a seat,” Turano said. He met their eyes as he looked around the table, the tick in his cheek the only sign he was barely restraining his temper.
It was never good to see him so pissed off. Heads usually rolled. If Roe was that angry, Merlin didn’t want to think about what Sand had told him.
“Sand will update you first, then we’ll answer whatever questions you have.”
“Yes, sir,” the team responded.
“Good morning. We got in additional intel, but it’s not optimal.” Sand took a drink from his coffee mug.
Turano seethed in his chair, and his eyes shot daggers at Sand. The CIA officer did not understand how close he was standing to a volcano on the verge of erupting.
Sand said, “Hassan missed his second check-in, but he was sighted by other assets in the area. We’re not sure if he’s in danger. There’s the slight chance Daesh might have turned him. But we don’t think that’s the case.”
“What?” Merlin struggled to keep his voice respectful. The CIA expected them to risk their lives when they weren’t sure if Hassan was an asset or a tango? What kind of bullshit was this?
“Merlin.” The one, terse word from Turano shut him up, but they were all seething. It made no sense to send in a Delta Team to investigate, especially if there were other CIA assets in the area.
“Hassan’s handler has assured us he wouldn’t play both sides. DC has decided to take the threat seriously. There are additional aerial photos in your packets, and your contact information once you get to Egypt. We’re still hoping Hassan will make contact before you have boots on the ground.” Sand took another gulp of coffee, a thin sheen of perspiration on his forehead.
Merlin frowned. There were only two reasons for him to be sweating—he was somehow hot in the freezing-cold briefing room, or he was lying about something. He’d bet his paycheck that Sand was lying through his teeth. From the look on Turano’s face, it was eating at him, too. They were fucked, and no one was offering to buy them dinner first.
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