"But he's so handsome," Mabel pointed out.
"Sure he is, and he's not bad between the sheets either."
"So?"
"So I'm not in a hurry to settle down with anyone in particular. You've found your guy and you know it and you're obviously deliriously happy. I need to feel that way too before I let someone slip a ring on my finger. These guys are fine for now but let's see what turns up down the line."
"You're terrible," Mabel teased.
"I'm just honest. As long as I can call the shots why shouldn't I?"
"I'd like to be honest but I just don't think I can with Randolph. I mean I had to tell him that I wasn't a virgin, he's a doctor after all so I don't think I could have fooled him, but I feel so guilty about all the other terrible things I've done," said Mabel sadly, changing the subject to a more serious tone.
"What have you ever done that was so terrible?" asked Gloria. "So you've had a lot of sex. So has he probably. You know how those doctors are with their nurses."
"It's different for men."
"Why?"
"It just is. They're supposed to learn about that sort of thing before they're married."
"Man, I just don't get all these rules and regulations. Don't you think he'd rather go to bed with a woman who knew what the hell she was doing? Someone who really enjoyed getting her brains drilled out and who knew how to make a man feel good?"
"I suppose so, but he might wonder how I knew those things," Mabel suggested.
"Whatever you did you did before you met him. You told him you weren't a virgin. I don't see how much more you need to volunteer. Just let him think that he's the one that brings out all this passion in you. Hopefully he really will."
"I don't suppose I should be wearing white technically," said Mabel, examining her gown.
"I really don't see what the big fuss over virginity is. Once your cherry is popped no one is ever going to know if someone else is sticking it in you anyway. Obviously it's not that big a deal to your future husband or you wouldn't be getting married. I'd just start with a clean slate and do your best to make him happy."
"I keep worrying that he'll see one of my dirty pictures sometime. How could I ever explain that?"
"Well, considering the type of pictures you took if your husband ever acquires one I'd say you've got a lot bigger problems in your marriage and he's got a lot more explaining to do than you!" Gloria joked.
The fact that Gloria hadn't been raised as a girl and hadn't in fact been raised in any conventional way at all no doubt influenced her rather "progressive" and "liberated" ideas that were not common at the time. It wasn't even so much a question of "thinking like a man" as much as thinking logically without a lot of preconceived notions getting in the way.
She had been poor most of her life and did whatever she had to do to survive. She couldn't afford to worry about what people in polite society might think of her. She was trying not to starve. Now that she was getting somewhere in life it was hard for her to worry too much about that polite society now.
When she had first become a woman she was terribly afraid of standing out or being exposed so she tried to copy the women she saw around her as much as possible. Now that she had been living this way for several years she was beginning to find her voice and develop her own style. It wasn't just her taste in clothing or cosmetics, it was something deeper. The war was actually doing the same thing to a lot of women who had been turned loose to take care of themselves and to do jobs normally handled by men. Some of them would be happy to go back to the old ways but a lot of them had learned to want more and to do more. They were quietly planting the seeds of the Women's Liberation movement that would gain momentum in the decades to come.
Gloria still wasn't crusading for women's rights, she was just living her life the way she wanted to. She hadn't become a woman to make a statement or to become politically active. The war colored everything in those days and changed people, both male and female, in a variety of ways both small and profound.
CHAPTER 18:
The wedding went beautifully and the weather cooperated as Southern California weather so often does. Mabel looked radiant in her virginal white gown and Gloria and the other bridesmaids were a picture of perfection as well. When Mabel tossed the bouquet she aimed it at Gloria but perhaps not surprisingly it was someone else who caught it. It was easy to feel romantic at a wedding but Gloria had to get to work on her part in the new movie she was in. Love would probably be in the cards eventually but she was getting laid as often as she cared to so there didn't seem to be any rush.
In the middle of so much happiness in her life Gloria did get some rather sad news that Dr. Lavinsky had been arrested and sent to prison, not specifically for doing sex change operations, but for some of his other assistance to underworld figures like treating gunshot victims or doing plastic surgery. Since he wasn't licensed to do anything medical there were a bunch of little charges against him that added up to a pretty lengthy stretch in the big house and it was doubtful that he would live long enough to get out.
It was terribly heartbreaking news for Gloria but she knew it was always a possibility. What the man was doing was obviously illegal but she never cared about that one way or the other. He had been a genuine father figure and he had taught her so much. He had even given her this wonderful new body and the life that went with it.
Things were starting to look promising in the war. The great invasion of France had taken place on D-Day, June 6, 1944. The Japanese were also being driven out of the Pacific islands they had occupied one by one, often at a horrific cost of life to both sides. There was momentum on the side of the Allies and a greater sense of optimism in the nation that maybe the end was finally in sight.
Gloria had more or less made peace with herself over her draft evasion. She had been a scared kid and was desperate for a way out. That way resulted in something remarkable that she cherished dearly, her womanhood, but she had worked very hard to try and be a good citizen and to chip in any way that she could. Perhaps it was just rationalizing to think that any amount of volunteer work could completely erase the crime she had committed but Gloria hoped that a person's life could be judged on the whole by the good things they did.
As Gloria prepared to start work on her first major role in a movie she stopped for a moment and thought about how fast everything had happened and how so many little things had to fall into place for her to have arrived at this point. If that chorus girl hadn't missed work Steven Peterson might never have discovered how much he belonged in a dress. Without that experience he might never have even considered the possibility of undergoing Dr. Lavinsky's radical surgery. If she had the kind of cigar that Eduardo wanted he might never have taken the time to notice her and offer her a modeling job. The list went on and on.
She was far from aimless or adrift in life but still so many things seemed to be left to chance. A decision to do one thing for one reason often turned into something else entirely. Becoming a woman was certainly the strongest example of that. It was certainly easier for her to make that decision since she had already been living a part of her life in a female role anyway but it had still been a monumental thing to go all the way with, and without the fear of being forced into the army it's doubtful that she would have ever done it. Now she couldn't imagine life any other way.
It was almost as if everything before her transformation had been some kind of big mistake. She had no family, no home, no purpose other than her optimistic belief in her talent and that somehow things would get better. Becoming a woman turned out to be the key to finding her place in the world.
Gloria liked to stop and reflect on things sometimes but she suddenly realized that she was running late and scrambled to get to the studio on time. She wasn't a star yet and it wouldn't do to be late on the first day of shooting. She wasn't a star yet. She smiled as she thought about her cocky optimism and wondered where the hell it came from. Wherever it came from she was glad she had it. She did pla
n to be a star...if she could just stop shaking and remember her lines!
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I love writing historical fiction but my two previous efforts at combining the genre with erotic romance where not big sellers by any means. I've always been fascinated by history and love the opportunity to do the research. I think it's interesting to view different time periods from the sexual perspective since values and tastes and moral views are constantly changing. This is my first work of TG historical fiction and I hope it pleases some people, even if it is a bit different than what I usually write.
The first known male-to-female sexual reassignment surgery took place in Germany in 1930 so the concept was known in the 1940s if not openly practiced. It certainly could have been done and if it were it might very well have been done in a back alley operation by someone not in the mainstream medical profession. That it was done so well and so convincingly is a bit of artistic license on my part, hopefully made a little more plausible by the fact that the subject was already quite feminine in appearance and considered attractive as a woman even without the operation.
In many ways the pinup girl paved the way for the revolution in sexual imagery and material that would follow. There had always been the underground world of pornography but the pinup was deemed socially acceptable, even by the United States government. The war played a huge role in that by forcing the world to accept the fact that horny men cut off from women needed some kind of relief and fantasy. The pinup was just on the edge of being "too sexy" without ever quite crossing it. A decade later Marilyn Monroe was posing nude as the first centerfold in a new magazine called Playboy and the genie was out of the bottle.
I do hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it. I realize it may not be everyone's cup of tea but if you at least gave it a chance I thank you profusely!
ALSO BY STACEY ZACKERLY:
Confessions of a Cybersex Slut
The Transformation
The Virgin Whore of New York
Free Love
Unchained
Borderless Desire
Sweet Dreaming
Not Really Me
No Turning Back Now
The New Roommate
Only One Exit
Pink and Blue
The Ultimate Punishment
The Role of a Lifetime
Buried Treasure
The Halloween Party
The Fairy Godmother
In the Name of Science
Second Time Around
Buried Treasure 2: Secrets and Longings
The Dude Ranch
Becoming Penelope
At the Crossroad
Rejuvenations
Rotation
All for the Best
The Slut Squad
Girl of my Dreams
Weekend Woman
Try Before You Buy
Reform School
A Christmas Karol
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stacey-Zackerly-Author/1433132996914960
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7391028.Stacey_Zackerly
http://staceyzackerly.blogspot.com
http://www.pornhub.com/users/staceyz/videos
(If you'd like to see any of my 3D erotic videos!)
Pinup Girl Page 8