by P J Mann
She took it and looked at it. It looked like one of those activity bracelets and would have been easy to carry and forget about it. Perhaps it is something I can try. At least, if it works, I can finally say goodbye to the sleepless nights.
“Can you tell me a few more details about the therapy?” She asked, not sure what she wanted to know.
“Several public and private organizations fund our research, and with their money, we are able to have a whole hotel booked for us for one month. The place is in a tranquil area in the countryside, where we won’t have any outside distractions from our therapy. Each of you will have a single room, and there will be cameras to record your behavior during the night, together with other instruments, besides the bracelet, to record the quality of your sleep. Each of you will have the same kind of relaxants that have to be taken every evening before going to sleep,” he explained. “During the day, you will be involved in group therapies and different sorts of activities. You can choose the one you like the best, but each of them is aimed to prepare your mind and body for the evening.”
“Hmm… that sounds like something feasible, but what about my job? One month is a long time to take off,” she replied.
“I understand, but don’t you worry, we can explain to your employer the situation in a way that he won’t refuse to let you go and follow the therapy. One of the most important activities is the time we allow our brain to recharge, and that can happen only when we are sleeping. I am currently treating a patient now who is returning from a traveling period of six months,” he explained calmly. “Of course, his employer wasn’t very enthusiastic about the idea, but health and well-being come before everything. Don’t you worry, we will solve the situation with your employer, and we will explain the reason for your absence.”
She thought about it for a moment, wow, he could make an employer agree to let one of his employees to leave for six months? This guy is good, she thought.
“That is a very tempting opportunity,” she cautioned, with a lower tone of her voice biting her lower lip.
“It is indeed. However, since every person’s physiology is different as much as their reaction to drugs, I would like to have some tests done before you will meet the other patients in the group,” he asserted.
“Is it going to be a large group?”
“No, counting you there will be only six people, we needed to select the participants very carefully in a way that they all will share positive results,” he replied, feeling sure to having persuaded her to take part in the experiment. “We do not believe that any of you will benefit if more than six people are participating in the therapy. Moreover, with this number, we will be able to schedule the group meetings and the private sessions that will be crucial to the success of the therapy. So, what do you say, will you be a part of the team?”
She smiled and felt like she would have missed the occasion to try and get some help with her problem if she refused to be part of it. Moreover, that could have been something exciting in many ways.
“Sure, you convinced me; I will be part of the group. If there is only a slight chance to get some relief and finally be able to sleep a full night, then I am ready for everything. You can’t imagine how it feels going to bed, knowing that even for that night you will be spending the night tossing and turning.
I appreciate your help, and I can’t wait until the time we can get started,” she replied eagerly. However, after just a second, a doubt grabbed her. “What will be the timeframe? I mean when am I supposed to start the therapy. I understand that you have your argument to convince my employer to agree and let me leave for one-month treatment. However, it would be fair to give him the right time to find someone who can step in for me during that period.”
“I understand your concern, Ms. Jefferson, but don’t you worry, at the moment there isn’t any schedule, we are just collecting the patients. However, since you are the last one to be considered to enter the group, I have to say that you will have to expect to leave in two-three months.”
She took a deep breath, and it was like a stone lifted from her chest. “So, what’s the next step?”
“I will first write a letter to your employer where I am going to explain the reason for your therapy,” he said as he was writing the letter on his computer.
“Then, I am going to give you the address of Prof. Doyle, my colleague at the University with whom I am co-authoring this study with. He will schedule you an appointment to perform a series of preliminary tests to assess your condition, and as soon as we have the results and you will be considered fit to enter the program, we will introduce you to the rest of the team. At that point, it will be a question of perhaps another month, before you will be ready to leave,” he handed her a business card of Prof. Doyle.
“Well, that is great. I will call Prof. Doyle right away and make an appointment as soon as possible,” Laura replied standing up from the chair.
“However,” she said as taken by a second thought. “What will happen if I am not considered a fit for the group?”
Dr. Wright smiled kindly, “don’t you worry, in that case, I will take care of your problem personally with a tailored therapy. You are not going to be left alone.”
She smiled, and feeling reassured she left the clinic with a renewed sense of hope.
As she walked the streets, Laura was tempted to call Prof. Doyle right away, but she wanted to be in a place where she could find some quiet and silence.
That is either the library or my apartment, she considered, and since the library was close to where she was, she opted for the place she loved the most in the world.
As she was alone in her office, she took out the business card Dr. Wright gave her and dialed his number.
“Doyle,” he replied hurriedly.
“Good afternoon, this is Laura Jefferson, and I just came from the clinic of Dr. Wright, and he gave me your telephone number to schedule an appointment. I am one of the potential members of the group to be treated for insomnia,” she explained.
“Ms. Jefferson, glad that you called. We can make an appointment right away,” he replied eagerly. “When would it be more convenient for you?”
She thought about her schedule for a moment and took out her agenda, “Let me see. For the next two weeks, I shouldn’t have anything important coming up. However, I would appreciate if we could meet in the late afternoon when I can get out of my work.”
“What about next week on Friday at five o’clock?” He suggested, taking out his agenda from the pocket of his coat to write down the appointment.
She checked the agenda, “Sure, that would be perfect, where do we meet?”
“Do you know how to reach the University clinic?” He asked, placing his agenda back in the pocket.
“I am not sure; could you send me the address?”
“Of course, I will send you a message on this same number you are calling me from, would that be okay for you?” He wondered.
“That would be just perfect. Thank you very much for your time, Professor.”
“Perfect, so see you next week.”
She hung up the phone and paused for a moment to think about it, she had no idea what kind of tests he had in mind, but if they were necessary to assess her conditions, she would have been more than glad to go through them.
She looked again at the calendar and counted the days to the appointment - eight days left; I am not sure I can wait such a long time, but I guess I do not have any other option, - she thought shrugging.
She got more comfortable in her chair thinking about the feeling of being able to sleep like she used to do when she was still a child.
It seems almost impossible to lose an innate ability like falling asleep, when since early childhood that was something straightforward? How is it even possible? She thought.
She took a deep breath and then she stood up ready to go back home.
The sun started to set, and she hurried up to the metro station to get home as soon as possib
le. It wasn’t any particular safety need that made her hasten the pace of her steps after dark. Instead, it was the necessity of being in a place where she could feel herself and have some quality time. It wasn’t unusual for her to seek for solitude, rather than the presence of other people. A book was for her a better companion.
She certainly had a few friends who she treasured more than anything else, but for everything, there was a time and place. That particular evening, she was looking for a bit of solitude to reflect on the impending therapy, the possibilities that it would have given her and the uncertainties she was feeling in her heart.
Needless to say, that for most of the night she continued to think about the meeting she had with Dr. Wright and the phone call she had with Prof. Doyle.
They both gave her an excellent impression of themselves and their professionality; however, there was something that, she could not identify yet. A doubt perhaps, or even the fear that either she wouldn’t be chosen for the therapy or that the doctor would not be able to find a way to help her.
“That would be so disappointing. With all those good feedbacks, it would be just pitiful if I would be on the small group of the neutral ones, those who stated that Dr. Wright tried his best, but it simply didn’t work.” She said aloud.
She took a deep breath.
“Oh well, obsessing about it won’t be of any help. Better at least trying to sleep. I still have one week, and I can’t spend another seven days constantly thinking about what could go wrong.”
That said she switched off the light and rolled over, trying to fall asleep, or at least to rest a bit.
***
Friday arrived sooner than she could even imagine, but the few hours that separated her from the morning to the afternoon were the most difficult. She came in the morning at the library, and despite the many things she had to take care of, she could not focus on anything. Her mind seemed to be fixated on the upcoming appointment, wondering about what kind of tests Prof. Doyle had prepared.
Finally, the time arrived, and she reached the University clinic.
As instructed she reached the main desk and asked for Prof. Doyle. The receptionist smiled at her, “welcome Ms. Jefferson. Prof. Doyle will come to pick you up in a while. Please, take a seat, and I’ll let him know you are here.”
Laura sighed and waited to be received by Prof. Doyle. She had no idea what to expect, but it was a matter of a few minutes and a man in his forties, reached her.
“You must be Ms. Laura Jefferson. Pleased to meet you, I am Prof. Jason Doyle,” he said introducing himself.
Laura looked at him, and she had to admit he was younger than she was expecting, or at least he was looking different than she pictured in her mind. She was sure he was an older man wearing a white coat. He was instead wearing a casual pair of jeans and a dark blue blazer; he was a man who indeed took care of his health as his fit body could attest.
“It is my pleasure, Prof. Doyle,” she replied blushing, as she shook his hand.
“Please follow me to my office, where we can talk calmly, and I will explain a bit in detail the tests we are going to perform today.”
She followed him through an intricate net of corridors until they reached his office. For the whole time they walked, neither of them spoke a single word.
“I had the chance to talk to Dr. Wright this week, and he told me you would like to take part in the experimental therapy to get rid of your insomnia. First, I would like to understand what kind of insomnia you are suffering from. There are different types, but we need patients with one particular type.
Dr. Wright mentioned that you are suffering from chronic insomnia, which makes you a potential candidate for our research. However, I need to know more about you,” he explained.
She nodded lightly even if, to be honest, she had no idea what he was talking about, yet she was sure that she would have soon found out everything.
Indeed, the tests took quite a long time, and for the next hour and a half, she went through all sorts of analysis, medical and psychological testing. She wasn’t sure, but she felt like some of them were unnecessary.
Oh well, who am I to question their methods? I am just a librarian, and I know nothing about psychiatry, she thought.
“When will I know the results of the tests?” She asked at the end of the session
“I will discuss it with Dr. Wright, and on Monday he will contact you to inform you about the results. At that point, if we consider your problem and your general condition compatible with the research, you will be introduced to the other patients, and you can start to plan your leave from work,” he replied. “Don’t you worry, I think there won’t be any problem, and from my point of view, you are perfectly compatible.”
She took a deep breath, feeling relieved. “Thank you, Prof. Doyle, I appreciate it and the only thing important for me is to be able to fall asleep the way I used to do when I was still a child.”
“This is our goal, and that is also the reason why we are developing new methods to help the majority of our patients,” he replied looking straight into her eyes. “Well, I won’t keep you here any longer; we will meet again, and in the meanwhile try to relax and have a nice weekend.”
“Thank you, the same to you.”
She walked the streets and thought about the whole time she spent in the clinic, trying to figure out whether there would have been a chance for her to be cured of her insomnia, as the Professor said, or his words were only meant to encourage her.
It is entirely useless to think about it too much, let’s instead think about the weekend; I haven’t any plans, and perhaps it would be good to spend some time with my friends instead of being alone with my thoughts.
Chapter 2.
On Monday, she felt euphoric, and as usual, she met Grant on her way out to the metro station.
“You look excited, is it today that Dr. Wright should call you with an answer?” He asked.
“Yes, I have tried for the whole weekend not to think about it and to keep myself busy with every sort of activity, from going to the gym, to the movies, out with friends. I have tried to avoid being alone with my thoughts, I knew they would have tortured me night and day,” she giggled.
“I can understand that, although in case they can’t insert you in the program, you should not feel disappointed, as you told me, Dr. Wright will take care of your case either way.”
“Yes, but I have heard that his experimental therapies are considered like real miracles, and I am afraid that my case needs a miracle too,” she replied concerned.
“Look, he didn’t insert me in one of his experimental programs, but with his help, I could reach the desired result. He won’t let you down.”
She sighed, “Do you think I am just overreacting?”
“Just a little bit. Now, when you are at work, try to focus on the fact that whatever the result, Dr. Wright will do his best to find a solution to help you with your problem.”
“You’re right; I think I have just let my emotions take over my rationality. I will try to focus on my job, after all, if I have been able to live for the last 15 years with this problem, I think I can afford to continue to live for another 15 without any other solution,” Laura said with a sigh.
“Oh no, darling, this is something you shouldn’t even think about. You need to find a solution; you cannot think of living almost sleepless for the rest of your life – Well, this is my stop. Call me as soon as you get an answer, whatever that might be, either if we have cause to celebrate or if you need some consolation.”
“Thanks, have a nice day!” She said as he ran out of the train.
She continued her journey to the library, and felt better after having spoken with Grant, he was right, and nothing would have been lost if she wouldn’t be included in the group. Dr. Wright was quite clear when he said that in that case, he would have taken care of her problem personally with a tailored therapy.
“I think it is better to know that my case is going to be
taken very seriously, and with such an esteemed professional in the field, I should just feel at ease.”
She felt like laughing at her foolish concerns, for the whole week she had been worried about something that didn’t even deserve any fears.
She reached her office at the library and started her everyday duties.
She almost forgot about Prof. Doyle and Dr. Wright, and when the telephone rang, she felt surprised at hearing the voice of Dr. Wright greeting her.
“Good afternoon Ms. Jefferson, this is Dr. Wright, am I disturbing you?” He asked kindly.
“Good afternoon, not at all; I was waiting for your call. Do you have any good news for me?”
“Indeed, by the discussion, we had together last time, and by the results of the tests you had with Prof. Doyle, you are perfectly suited to be part of the group that will start the therapy within a couple of months. I hope you have already informed your employer. If not, I suggest you talk to him/her right away. Two months are going to pass rather quickly, particularly if you need to find a substitute for carrying on your tasks for an entire month,” he cautioned.
She cringed for not having even mentioned to her supervisor about the possibility to go to therapy for an entire month. To be honest, she was almost sure that she wouldn’t have been included in the group, so as a superstitious practice, she avoided mentioning it.
“Ms. Jefferson, are you still there?” He asked when she kept silent.
“Yeah, sure. It is just that I might have forgotten to mention it to my supervisor. I will do it right away after this call; I have your letter right here in my drawer, so I need to give it to him.”
“Tell him also to call me, I think he might need some explanation,” he suggested.