Since like many young parents we took our children on lots of trips when they were very young, we know that Bryce will get tired of being told that he’s been to Spain. He will complain, as our children did, that it doesn’t count if you don’t remember it. And I guess that’s true. And that may be my opportunity. I can volunteer to take a 12-year-old Bryce back to Spain so that I finally get there. I just hope that I’m not too old to remember it.
Paying your way
November 2014
If you have been in the company of college students recently, you may have noticed that they seem to take as an article of faith that Internet content should be free. But should it?
There has been a lot in the news about a guy improbably named Kim Dotcom. Dotcom is in trouble with the U.S. government for his Megaupload website that the Feds say was a haven for video and music piracy. He lives in New Zealand and so far the U.S. authorities have not been able to extradite him.
But far from being penitent, Dotcom has opened a new website called MEGA at mega.co.nz. It is another file sharing site like Megaupload, but with a twist. Dotcom says that MEGA is completely legal because the site is designed so that the files being transferred are encrypted and so only the person uploading the file knows what it is. This is supposed to insulate MEGA from copyright infringement claims. It’s sort of like Claude Raines’s character in Casablanca who expresses shock that gambling is going on at Rick’s while pocketing his winnings.
Whether the new site is legal or not is beside the point. The point is that Kim Dotcom is a rockstar among young people for challenging the copyright system, which many people under 30 find repressive and unfair. Now here is where the generation gap comes in. I am of a generation that always paid for copyrighted content. That includes not just music, but also movies, books, newspapers and magazines. People who grew up in the 1990s and later have always had access to “free” content.
The result of a generation of “free” content is that the content creators are all slowly going out of business. We see another drop off just about every week. The only thing that keeps the rest of them hanging on is the persistence of people my age in paying for the content they download. I pay for newspapers; I pay for music; I pay for movies; I pay for books. Why? Because of two old sayings. First, there’s no free lunch. If the people who create content cannot make a living creating content, they will go off and do something else. And second, you get what you pay for. If you get news from Twitter or Google for free, it comes without any assurance of reliability. Reliability means someone confirming the facts, and that costs money.
Having never had to pay for content, young people don’t understand the copyright system and resent threats of copyright infringement. That’s why Kim Dotcom is such a folk hero. He facilitates “freeing” the content from the clutches of the content providers. But as with taxation of millionaires, how you feel about this depends on whose pocket is being picked.
Age does impart some wisdom. It’s our responsibility as parents and grandparents to teach young people why respect for the copyrights of content providers is not just a legal obligation, but a moral one. That’s the only way we can ensure a wealth of great content for years to come.
My one and only favorite song
November 2014
When people ask me what my favorite standard song is, I often reply that I have at least a dozen favorites. For example, I love “Make Someone Happy” (music by Jule Styne, lyrics by Betty Comden & Adolph Green), “Someone to Watch Over Me” (music by George Gershwin, lyrics by Ira Gershwin) and “What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life” (music by Michel LeGrand, lyrics by Alan and Marilyn Bergman). I used the last of these to propose to my wife.
But if someone really presses me and won’t take more than one song as an answer, I confess that my all-time favorite is “My One and Only Love” by English song writers Guy Wood and Robert Mellin. I think it’s a masterpiece, and judging by the number of recordings of it, many people agree with me. It has a fascinating tune as it climbs the scale with its first six notes. But it is the lyric that clinches the deal for me. It starts:
The very thought of you makes my heart sing
Like an April breeze on the wings of spring
And you appear in all your splendor
My one and only love
The shadows fall and spread their mystic charms
In the hush of night, while you’re in my arms
I feel your lips so warm and tender
My one and only love
The poetry is just breathtaking to me. And the words fit the music perfectly. Interestingly enough, these were not the original words to the song. When Guy Wood wrote the music back in 1947, the lyrics were by Jack Lawrence and the song was called “Music from Beyond the Moon.” It was recorded by Vic Damone in 1948 but was a flop. The lyrics then went like this:
The night was velvet and the stars were gold
And my heart was young, but the moon was old
I was listening for the music
Music from beyond the moon
You came along and filled my empty arms
And my eager lips thrilled to all your charms
When we touched I heard the music
Music from beyond the moon
Is there any doubt why this original version didn’t make it? Not only is the lyric nonsensical (beyond the moon, really??), it doesn’t scan correctly. Guy Wood wrote six notes as the end of each verse (mirroring the six notes of the beginning of each verse). The words “Music from Beyond the Moon” require seven notes.
Poor Vic Damone must have felt like the unluckiest guy around when Frank Sinatra recorded the revised version with the Robert Mellin lyric in 1953 and had an immediate hit. Of course, the definitive version of “My One and Only Love” is the one by Johnny Hartman that he recorded with John Coltrane in 1963.
The bridge of the song is nothing special musically, but again Robert Mellin’s lyrics shine:
The touch of your hand is like heaven
A heaven that I’ve never known
The blush on your cheek whenever I speak
Tells me that you are my own
And finally, the last verse of the Mellin lyric draws inspiration from the second verse of the original Lawrence lyric, but Lawrence had a base hit. Mellin hits it out of the park:
You fill my eager heart with such desire
Every kiss you give sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender
My one and only love
Now that’s a song! It moves me whenever I hear it. It’s not the music of my generation, but then neither is Bach or Beethoven. It’s classic Tin Pan Alley – one page in the rich American Songbook that Jonathan Schwartz has spent a lifetime promoting. And you don’t have to be over 50 to love it.
Seniors are rich with memories
December 2014
I think that the best thing about being over 50 is the riches we have accumulated in the memory banks. People who are in their 20s have so few good memories compared to us. Oh sure they have some childhood memories and maybe even a few teenage memories of the golden variety. But we over-50s have those, and much, much more.
We can look back at the lives we have lived and the choices we have made. Of course there are always some regrets, but as Sinatra sang “too few to mention.” The golden memories we have include not just our weddings, but the births of our children, their first steps, their first day of school, their proms and (for some of us) their weddings. Some of us even have memories of first grandchildren.
But most of all, we over-50s have golden memories of time enjoyed with significant others in our lives. Maybe it was a spouse, maybe it was a good friend, but the memory banks are chockablock with warm recollections of days gone by. Vacations spent in beautiful places are in there alongside of quiet Sundays at home in bed. We have the blessings of having lived and loved, laughed and cried. And we can summon it up anytime we want to. All it take
s is for someone to say, “Do you remember when …”
There are lots of good memories associated with this time of year. Some of them, for me, involve enjoying great works of art. Can you remember the first time you heard Handel’s Messiah? How about the first time you watched Linus tell us the meaning of Christmas in A Charlie Brown Christmas? I put these in the same paragraph because they both inspire me.
There are tons of Christmas movies around, but some of my favorites are not about Christmas, but just take place at Christmas. An example is Home Alone. An older example is It’s A Wonderful Life.
One of my favorite movies that takes place around Christmas but is not about Christmas is A Family Man. It was made in 2000 and stars Nicolas Cage and Téa Leoni. Writers David Diamond and David Weissman create a sort of “It Could Have Been a Wonderful Life” story. Instead of getting to see what the world would have been like without him, Cage, a rich, single businessman gets a “glimpse” of what his life could have been like if he had married his girlfriend, Téa Leoni, instead of flying off to London for an internship.
It’s a beautiful and profound romantic comedy set in the holiday season. It shows the power of choices we make in our lives. It shows how memories are like dominos that can branch off in unexpected directions as life moves us inexorably forward. I recommend watching A Family Man when you’re in a contemplative mood so you can get the full effect. It’s perfect end-of-year viewing.
As another year comes to an end and something called 2014 begins, those of us who have spent most of our lives in another century can still look forward to making even more golden memories in this one. And those 20-somethings will never catch up to us. When it comes to memories, it’s really an embarrassment of riches for the over-50s.
A letter to my grandson at his first Christmas
December 2014
Dear Bryce:
So, at the age of 10 months, you may have noticed a great deal of unusual activity recently. Your parents have probably been spending more time in stores. When they come home they wrap colored paper around what they bought. What’s up with that, you may ask.
In your first visit to New York City you probably were wondering why your mother and father took you to see a big tree full of colored lights. And you probably have noticed that your neighborhood also has a lot of these same colored lights around. And you may have seen some people wearing a lot of red, particularly fat men with big white beards. What’s the story, Grandpa, you may ask?
OK, here’s the skinny. It’s called “Christmas” and it comes every year at this time. It’s sort of a big deal, particularly for kids like you because – and you better sit down for this – it’s a day that people give you lots of neat stuff to play with and to eat. They even ask you to make a list of what you want and then – and here’s the best part – they get it for you!! And you know all that colored paper – you get to rip it off and you get to play with it and the box too. You may even want to play with what’s inside (although this year it’s probably gonna be mostly things to keep you warm through your first winter in Vermont).
Now you may be thinking, what’s so special about this Christmas day that makes people act so strangely. Well, it started out as a celebration to mark the day a really nice man named Jesus was born a really long time ago. It’s called a birthday. You’ll get your own celebration in a couple of months. We’ll call yours “Brycemass” if you want. Anyway, people liked this guy so much that when he was born, strangers traveled great distances to bring him presents. And we continue that tradition today. Only now we give presents to each other. Neat, huh.
Well if getting stuff from your mom and dad and your grandparents, aunts and uncles wasn’t good enough, there’s someone else who brings things to you at Christmas. He lives up at the North Pole. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know. Maybe he likes snow. Anyway, this guy is old and fat and always dresses in a red and white suit. His name is Nicholas but everyone calls him Santa Claus. He has a bunch of reindeer and a sled and every Christmas he packs it up with all the toys that boys and girls want and he delivers them while you’re asleep – sort of like the UPS man only without having to sign anything.
But just like the NSA, Santa sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake. He has a database of who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. You have to be on the “nice” list to get presents. Word is that you can get presents even if you’re naughty sometimes, just as long as you’re mostly nice. Santa knows that no one’s perfect.
It’s an imperfect world and so people sometimes act naughty. But the thing about Christmas is that people make an effort to be nice. They’re not always successful, but most people try. That’s what really makes Christmas special.
About 50 years ago, when I was a kid, people were worrying about how people had forgotten why we celebrate Christmas and instead were focused on buying things. So a wise doctor named Seuss gave us a story about a Grinch who found out that people could celebrate Christmas without “things.” And an artist named Schulz gave us a story about some kids who get so wrapped up in decorations and Christmas plays that they forget the reason for the season. A boy named Linus reminded them.
Well if Christmas was too much about “things” 50 years ago, the years since have only given us more of the same. We now start “celebrating” Christmas beginning in October. We have a shopping day after Thanksgiving that is so crazy they call it “Black Friday.” What’s worse, storekeepers have come to rely on people buying stuff to excess in the last three months of the year as part of their business plans, and the media makes it almost un-American and certainly anti-capitalist to resist this command to buy.
But we can resist the urge to make Christmas about “things” and I hope that you will. Oh, I know how great it is to get new toys, and you will certainly have your share in the Christmases ahead. But always remember the lesson that Linus and the Grinch tried to teach us many years ago. The spirit of Christmas is not in the decorations, the presents, the trees or even the songs. It is in what you can do at Christmas and every day to assure that there is “Peace on earth and good will to all men.”
Love always,
Grandpa Frank
P.S. I hear that if you leave some cookies for Santa, he can be extra generous. Even Santa works for tips.
The older I get, the more I dread winter
January 2015
This time of year as I venture outside I often think of the old song:
All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray
I’ve been for a walk on a winter’s day
I’d be safe and warm if I was in L.A.
California dreamin’ on such a winter’s day
The older I get, the more I dread winter. Since my heart attack more than a decade ago I have been excused from any heavy-duty snow shoveling. I still operate the snow blower from time to time, but even that chore is now often handled for me by others. So snow removal is not the issue. Driving in snow is still bothersome, but it’s not such a big deal because I need only drive two miles to my bus every morning.
No, the real issue is the cold. I can’t take it as well as I used to. Maybe I can blame it on losing 40 pounds of fat since last winter. Or maybe my heart medications have irrevocably thinned my blood. But after a week of sub-freezing temperatures I’m ready to move south. But since I still need to work for a living and work is in the windy, concrete canyon that is Manhattan, the best I can do is make a hot cup of coffee and look at pictures of warm places.
In that vein, I was looking recently at some pictures I took of the Sonoran Desert in Arizona last year. I was reading that during the winter months, from November to April, the daytime temperatures in the Sonoran Desert range from 70°F to 90°F. That sounds extremely cozy for a January day. I wish I was there.
This year, I plan to visit the California portion of the Sonoran Desert, which includes Palm Springs. While desert living used to be only for the extremely hardy, air-conditioning has opene
d up these areas to a lifestyle that is Nirvana to a cold New Yorker. Of course snow is not an issue except on the top of mountains. The fact that it rains only a few days a year means almost constant sunshine. Having a dreary winter day in the Northeast? Just dial up a webcam in the desert and you can almost feel the dry heat.
The other thing I do to conjure up the desert is to look at my pictures of Saguaro cactus. These are the large, iconic cacti that grow only in the Sonoran Desert. They live to be as much as 150-200 years old. I found them really beautiful and surprisingly hard to the touch. Before I went to Arizona, I had always thought that these cacti were soft, but the Saguaro Cactus has a hard wood-like feel similar to a tree. And in fact, I was told that dead Saguaro cacti are often used as wood for construction of roofs and fences in Arizona.
So as I endure yet another New York winter, my eye is on the calendar. Spring training begins in mid-February and the first pre-season Yankees game is March 4. After that, it’s a hop, skip and a jump until the first day of spring. Until then, I can huddle over a cup of hot something or other, look at pictures and think of the warm desert. California dreamin’ on such a winter’s day.
The only thing we have to fear …
January 2015
On March 4, 1933 Franklin Roosevelt took office in the midst of a national emergency. The closest thing in recent times was the economic meltdown in the fall of 2008. The fear on Wall Street was palpable. But then, thanks to the reforms that FDR made that were not repealed by Bill Clinton, there was no run on the banks. Our financial system was saved through an infusion of capital from the federal government.
Ironically, the very people who continually preached that the government should just leave them alone came running to the government when their fear led to panic. And Uncle Sam bailed them out.
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