Protagonized

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Protagonized Page 15

by Shannon Myers

He gave me the side eye. “And what do you suggest I do to prevent that?”

  I grinned widely. “Yoga.”

  “Yoga,” Jake repeated.

  I nodded. “Yeah, it’s great for posture.”

  He stood and stretched before leaning down to grab his ankles, limbering up for the track event we were apparently hosting in the living room. “Okay, let's do it.”

  “Okay,” I replied with narrowed eyes. “Just like that. You're not going to pick a fight?”

  “No. If you think I need yoga, then I’ll do it.” He lifted his arms above his head, and I was momentarily distracted by the distinct lines of abdominal muscles that ran down the center of his stomach, disappearing into the top of his jeans. That was an eight-pack. Easily.

  I frowned and crossed my arms over my suddenly hard nipples. “Are you sick?”

  “No, why?”

  “You’re acting weird. At least fight with me so that I know you're okay.”

  “Alright, let’s get this hippie-dippy bullshit over with so that we can get back to solving cases. Better?”

  “Much… but you can’t wear that.”

  Jake looked down at the dark denim and frowned. “What’s wrong with this?”

  I demonstrated a lunge. “You need something that you can move and stretch in. You’ll never get loose in those.”

  The corner of his lip turned up. It was like a little baby smirk. “Is that so? What would you recommend?”

  “Yoga pants!” I exclaimed. “Or gym shorts… or sweatpants.”

  Jake nodded to himself. “I might have something down in my bag. Are you wearing that?”

  I looked down at my Cats Meowt Side… How Bow Dat? tank top and yoga pants. “Absolutely. This is perfect for exercise.”

  “It has a cat shaking its fist on it,” he muttered, before disappearing into the bathroom.

  “It’s not shaking its fist,” I argued. “He’s snapping his fingers. He’s a sassy cat.”

  “Whatever you say,” he called from behind the closed door.

  I pushed the coffee table into the couch and laid out the yoga mats. Jake was probably going to fall in love with yoga, thanks to me. He’d have me work it into his next book as a way of showing readers that he took his health seriously.

  I bet some of my readers would demand that I host an author/reader yoga retreat. We’d get heavily meditated and just become one with nature. We could sit around a campfire and talk about our crystals.

  Maybe if things went well, I’d try introducing Jake to some crystals during corpse pose.

  The bathroom door opened and he strolled back into the living room, wearing nothing but the hottie glasses and a pair of grey sweatpants. I was wrong. It was a twelve-pack.

  If I was a cartoon character, my eyes would’ve bugged out of my head, while my tongue rolled out like a red carpet.

  Grey. Sweatpants.

  My lust had to be written all over my face. I looked down at my yoga mat with flushed cheeks. I needed to say something, or it was only going to get more awkward. “So, we’ll just start,” I squeaked out.

  “Is this not okay?” Jake questioned. “You said something loose and comfortable.”

  I dragged my toe along the rubber mat, refusing to look up at him. If I did, he’d read my mind and then I’d never hear the end of it.

  “Most people wear a shirt, but you’re Jake Hopkins, so why would you?” Without waiting for a response, I dove right in. “We’re going to start with some light stretching to warm up before we begin.”

  He copied my every move and the few times I risked a glance from under my lashes, I was met with a speculative stare. I stretched down and hooked my fingers around my big toes.

  “What’s this called?” Jake exhaled softly as he replicated it.

  “Well, there’s a fancy name for it, but our teacher just calls it Big Toe Pose. It’s good for your hamstrings.” I exhaled and released my toes. Half a second later, he did the same.

  “What’s a good one for lower back pain?”

  Where I expected facetiousness, his eyes remained serious. Soft. So far, my plan appeared to be working. He was open to yoga and all that it had to offer.

  I laid down on my back and lifted my hips up into Bridge Pose. Jake had paused to take a drink from his water bottle as I switched positions and now stood frozen, with water running from the side of his mouth.

  “Jake?” I asked, still maintaining the pose.

  He nodded slowly, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in a swallow. Realizing that he was dumping water onto his face and the mat beneath him, he lowered the bottle and replaced the cap.

  I paused for thirty seconds, deepening the stretch by lifting my heels off the mat. “This,” I exhaled, “is Bridge Pose and it is so good for your lower back. Try it.”

  I could’ve sworn I was imagining it, but his eyes no longer looked sleepy. Jake stared at me like a man who was completely and utterly famished.

  He dropped down to his knees beside me. “Show me again.”

  I shook my head with a soft laugh. “Jake, it’s not hard. You just…”

  And there it was. The way he knelt over me brought back my masturbatory vision of him, biting down on his lip in concentration as he worked to find the best ways to get me off.

  “You just what?”

  A flush crept up my neck, heating my face. “Uh, you just lift your tailbone, like you’re drawing it up toward your pubi—abdomen.”

  I was fumbling over words, making it completely apparent that I was having lustful thoughts toward the detective crouched next to me.

  I decided to switch gears and poses.

  “Another good one is the Feathered Peacock pose.” I moved onto all fours and then pushed up onto the balls of my feet, walking them toward my head. Maybe if I continued twisting myself into poses, then I could avoid having to have an actual conversation.

  Jake sat back and watched with wide eyes as I kicked one leg up in the air and then the other, resting all of my weight on my forearms.

  He exhaled before asking, “Are there any stretches you can do with a partner?” There was still no trace of humor in his voice.

  I slowly brought my legs back down and wracked my brain. “I know of a couple, but we mainly just work on our own in class.”

  “I think I’d like a partner.” There was nothing erotic in his words, but his tone left me wanting something. Anything at this point. Maybe just a good ice-cold shower.

  I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and him to admit that he’d just been fucking with me, but he continued watching me with a ravenous expression.

  I swallowed the saliva that had pooled in my mouth. “We could do a forward fold, but you’re a lot bigger than me, so your head might end up in my lap.” I laughed nervously. “Um, maybe we could try a twist instead?”

  “Yeah, show me that.”

  “Okay.” I chewed at my lower lip. “It starts with Lotus pose; that’s the one we did at the beginning. We do that sitting back to back.”

  My throat felt like it was closing up as he sat down behind me and I almost laughed when I saw our reflections on the small TV screen in front of me. I was a tiny sapling compared to this redwood. My skin heated to the point of sizzling as he shifted around, getting into position.

  “Like this?” His deep voice vibrated straight into my core.

  “Um, I think so?” Even my voice sounded unsteady. I focused on the pose itself and tried to block out thoughts of becoming a bendy pretzel for him in a very sexual, completely non-yoga way.

  “Inhale and raise both arms. When you exhale, twist to the left. You’ll place your right hand on the outside of your left knee and your left hand on the inside of my right knee. I’ll mirror it and then we’ll hold before moving to the opposite side.”

  I inhaled and he followed my lead, sending goosebumps down my skin when his arms brushed against mine. We twisted in unison and my damp palm found his knee.

  His hand rested on the inside of mi
ne, taking up most of my thigh thanks to the height difference between us. I’d spent my life fighting the stigma of being little. Apparently, the majority of the world’s population made it past five-one.

  I wasn’t taken seriously most of the time and had endured having my hair ruffled up like a small child’s on the rare occasions I showed my anger, because I was just too adorable.

  I’d scaled grocery store shelves like they were my Kilimanjaro in order to reach something on the top, because I refused to be the little girl asking for help.

  As I sat behind this massive giant of a man though, with his hand covering my leg, I found that I liked my smallness.

  “How are you doing back there?” he asked, the rumble reverberating into my back.

  I exhaled the breath I’d been holding. “Good. Let’s switch to the other side.”

  Jake agreed and we brought our arms up on an inhale before moving our bodies to the right. I stretched around him, placing my palm against something that didn’t feel like the inside of his knee. I patted and moved my hand against it in an effort to discern how far off target I was.

  He sucked air through his teeth. “Uh, Hayden.” His voice sounded strangled. “Could you lower your hand?”

  My cheeks flamed when realization struck.

  “Lower… still lower. Okay.” He guided my hand down to the safe zone while I sat in stunned silence.

  Holy shit.

  Jake was packing.

  I’d unintentionally pulled the old switch and dick grab. I tried focusing on my inhales and exhales, but my heart was distracting me with its furious pounding.

  “Um, Jake?” I needed to keep my mouth shut and think of becoming Zen and centering myself. “Are you not wearing underwear?”

  Then again, when had I ever listened to reason?

  He cleared his throat. “You said I needed something I could be loose and comfortable in, did you not?”

  My fingers began trailing upward and were promptly put to a stop by Jake’s hand. “Hayden,” he warned.

  “What? I was stretching my fingers.” What I was doing was booting sanity right off the balcony in favor of copping another feel.

  Just so I could describe it better later.

  Research.

  “I think that’s enough yoga for today.” Jake rolled away from me and onto his knees. I made a big show of unfolding my legs and doing some light stretches while continuing to sneak glances at his lap.

  “You need a hand?” he asked roughly.

  Do you? I thought.

  It wasn’t a rhetorical question and lines appeared on Jake’s forehead as he awaited my response. I forced myself to look away from the impressive bulge in his sweatpants and nodded.

  Still on his knees, he grabbed my hand in an attempt to pull me up. Instead, the momentum sent us both falling onto the carpet.

  My breasts collided with his chest and I floundered uselessly against the floor, trying to right myself.

  I expected to be bucked off at any moment. Instead, Jake’s arms wrapped around my lower back pulling me closer. My hips rolled forward from the contact and I instinctively rocked back against his hands.

  He surprised me further when his hands slipped lower and cupped my ass. What the hell is happening? I silently asked with wide eyes.

  Just take it, he seemed to respond as his fingers dug into my soft flesh. When he bit down on his lip just like I’d imagined he would when he was concentrating, I let out a small gasp of shock.

  He continued moving my hips in a soft rhythm while staring at my mouth. I was dry humping Jake’s navel, but he seemed oblivious to it.

  We were so lost in the moment that neither one of us heard the door open.

  “What the hell is going on here?” Aaris shrieked.

  I jumped to my feet and adjusted my tank while Jake dove for the couch and a throw pillow. When I frowned, he gestured with his head toward his crotch, as if the entire thing had been my fault. Judging by the pained expression on his face, he’d come down with a severe case of blue balls.

  The fact that he even had an erection made me feel… empowered. I’d done that—all five-foot-one inches of me. Took that giant sequoia and made him my bitch.

  “Anyone?” she demanded again.

  I put a hand on my hip and grinned. “I think Jake’s hard-pressed to explain this one. Make no bones about it; he is up for the discussion though.” I said the last part with a wink, earning me a death glare from the boner king himself.

  Aaris placed her index finger against her mouth and then held it up as she worked to articulate a response. “Okay,” she finally said slowly. “First of all, sweetie, your high beams are on. Secondly, someone better start talking like right now.”

  A quick glance confirmed that my nipples were in fact in the process of cutting their way through the thin material of my shirt.

  Jake smirked up at me and I snapped, “Nothing happened, okay? I fell. He caught me. End of story. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to turn the heat up and change into something warmer. It’s too cold in here.”

  Thirteen

  Aaris poured a bowl of cereal and waited patiently until Jake and his pillow left the room before leaning over the counter to hiss, “Did you see the dick print on that one? Holy hell, Hayden! I thought you two hated each other!” She was practically bouncing up and down in her seat.

  The pipes in the wall gave a low groan as the shower kicked on. I picked distractedly at the sleeves of the sweatshirt I’d snagged after Aaris pointed out my excessive nippleage and took my time, pulling the sleeves over my hands and then pushing them back up to my wrists in an attempt to stall.

  “Well, we do.”

  It didn’t sound as convincing as it had before.

  Before I accidentally groped him.

  Before he had his hands on my ass.

  Before I sexually assaulted his belly button.

  “The whole thing’s been one big dicktastrophe, Aaris.”

  She fought a smile and lost. “Did you say dicktastrophe?”

  I groaned and covered my face with my hands. “C’mon, Aaris, enough. I said catastrophe, obviously.”

  “You did not. You said one big dicktastrophe and after seeing what I did when I walked in, I don’t blame you. God, I almost ran home for some marshmallows.”

  At my utterly confused expression, she elaborated, “Sweetie, with that tent he pitched, I thought we were setting up camp. He’s into you, no doubt about it.”

  I opened my mouth and then closed it. What had happened? One minute, we were doing yoga and the next I was riding him like a seesaw.

  I’d been dickmatized. I got a handful and lost my ability to make rational decisions.

  The bathroom door open and I shook my head at Aaris, silently warning her not to continue the conversation.

  “So, I think it’s great that you’re going to come to VIP night at the bar. Really. You never get to attend these events.” Her grin nearly reached her ears.

  Damn.

  She’d been begging me to go for weeks, but I’d been vague about my work schedule.

  “What’s VIP night?” Jake asked, running his hand through still damp hair. Beads of water clung to his cheeks and as my eyes drifted down, I was disappointed to see that the sweatpants had been replaced with jeans again. The fate of the bulge remained unknown.

  Aaris quirked a brow at me before answering him. “It’s something that Bryan, my boss, does every year as a way of getting our friends and family into the bar so that he can siphon away their money. I never have anyone show up. Having Hayden there will at least get him off my back a little, you know?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. She was going to play this until she got what she wanted. I pulled my notebook from my purse and began jotting down ideas for Jessa, ignoring the way Jake instantly reassured her that he’d be attending too.

  I must’ve had the female equivalent of blue balls, because I was suddenly raring for a fight. I wanted to scream at both of them bec
ause of my own confusion. Fiction and reality had collided, creating absolute chaos.

  I drowned out their voices with the one in my head. I needed to find out who killed Addison and Jake. The list of suspects in both cases was a mile long as neither one of them had been particularly well-liked when they were alive.

  It would’ve been easy to pin it on an angry husband with him, but there weren’t any that had been previously mentioned. To add one in now was lazy storytelling and definitely wouldn’t pack an emotional punch.

  Who would’ve gained the most from their deaths?

  Jake had suspected the cartel in Addison’s death, but that didn’t fit with his. They had no reason to go after him even if he was investigating her murder. They would’ve paid off a judge to avoid charges had he gotten close enough to sniff out a suspect.

  No. It was someone else.

  I’d written myself into a corner with One in the Chamber by mentioning a mystery woman on the balcony.

  Jake wasn’t a small man, so what woman would’ve had the strength to knock him off-balance?

  “Hayden?” Aaris waved a hand in front of my face. “Hello, earth to Hayden.”

  I blinked. “Sorry. I’m in my head right now trying to figure this story out.”

  “Have you got a lead?” Jake leaned in, apparently putting the ‘yoga incident’ behind him in favor of news.

  I shook my head. “No. I’ve got nothing to go on, other than you and Jessa both saw a woman with blonde hair.” I paused as the thoughts began flooding in. “Wait… wait… what if? Oh my god, what if Addison isn’t dead?”

  Jake sat back in his chair and rubbed his jaw. “You think she faked her death? Why? What would she have to gain by doing that? And, if she wasn’t burned to death in her apartment, then who was?”

  I rested my elbows on the table and massaged my temples. I had no ideas and nothing concrete to go on. It was like putting a puzzle together when half the pieces were missing. I needed more than just speculation.

  “I don’t know,” I sighed.

  Aaris’s spoon hit the side of her cereal bowl with a clang and Jake and I both looked up at her.

  “You know, you don’t have to actually search for a killer, right? It’s fiction—Hayden could say that a killer clown from the sewers killed you and Addison and that’d be it. End of story. Boom.”

 

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