by Hanna Peach
Jordan’s face darkened. “Anger is a powerful but destructive emotion, Alyx. It allows you to access a great amount of power, as you discovered in that DreamScape, but the power that comes from anger is wild, uncontrollable. It takes over and makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do.”
“Like trying to kill you,” Alyx said, her voice low.
“Yes, like trying to kill me,” Jordan said gently. “When you’re in a Scape you’re wrapped in the walls of your own subconscious. If you let fear and anger take control of you like that again…you could tear your own mind apart from the inside.”
Alyx was silent for a moment as the thoughts sank in. She almost killed a friend. She could have torn her own mind apart. She shuddered. “I didn’t know that was even possible.”
“There are several layers of each Seraphim magic. The Elders only teach you the lower levels. But there are higher levels, more sophisticated levels of the magic. We FreeThinkers out here, we share what we know and what we discover about our magic, but we don’t know everything that the Elders are hiding. The DreamScape is a bit different because it is part of your subconscious, hence why you are able to assert control over it even though you aren’t a DreamWalker.”
Alyx rubbed her ribs where her stolen bloodink tattoos were hidden: a full Animale, parts of WaterBearer, AirWhisperer, EarthSifter and FireTwirler, and a sliver of DreamWalker. What secrets did each of these magics hold?
“We should practice your manipulation of the DreamScape again, but without the whole anger and fury thing.” Jordan nudged her good-humoredly. Then his face darkened again. “It may come in handy...Michael won’t stop until he finds you.”
They entered the DreamScape again to continue their practice. By the end of their training, Alyx had been able to create a door with a handle. But she was still taking too long to do it. Dammit. It just wasn’t good enough.
“Don’t worry about it. It takes time,” said Jordan as they rested on the water tower after training. He smiled. “You’re doing really well.”
Alyx leaned against the tower, closed her eyes and let the sun warm her skin. She knew that Jordan was just trying to make her feel better, but for some reason his efforts unsettled her.
“I was wondering…” she heard Jordan say after a few minutes of silence, “there’s nothing going on between you and Israel, is there?”
Alyx had to choke back a gasp as her eyes flew open. Was her heartbreak so obvious? The ache in her chest had been her constant companion since Israel and she had decided to just be friends. It was there under everything, hollow and raw like an abyss. She thought that she had hidden it well enough…
How would Jordan react if he knew how far Alyx and Israel had taken their brief relationship? No, Alyx couldn’t risk Jordan’s disapproval, his judgment, his rejection. She needed his help. That’s why he couldn’t know. No one could.
“No…” she lied. “Why would you ask such a thing?”
Jordan shrugged and looked apologetic. “I just wanted to be sure…”
“Well, there’s nothing going on.”
“Excellent.” Jordan shuffled over next to Alyx and leaned against the tower. He smiled at her, then closed his eyes and tilted his face to the sun, mimicking what Alyx was doing earlier. Alyx felt an uncomfortable coldness settle in her belly at Jordan’s proximity.
“We should head back,” she said, standing up so that she could move away from him.
Alyx thought she saw a flash of disappointment cross Jordan’s face. But he nodded and they took off from the water tower back to Tara.
* * *
It was quiet now in Tara. Marin and Lukas had since returned to Aradale. Lukas had family there and Marin…well, Marin just didn’t like sitting still. Jordan had left to speak to a contact of his. Alyx had asked to come along, but Jordan had insisted she stay to watch over Israel and Mini.
Truthfully, Alyx didn’t want to be left in this house alone with Israel. Which is why she was hiding in her room with Mini now curled up next to her, asleep.
Alyx hadn’t seen Israel since they had their “let’s just be friends” talk. He had still been too sick to leave his room, and Jordan had seemed to realize that all was not well between them, offering to take up Israel’s meals so that she didn’t have to.
Friends. The word made her sick.
Alyx tried to push away these thoughts and focused on the glass globe in her hands. When she had first arrived, she had noticed it on her bedside table, sitting placid in its holder. Jordan had called it a soulglobe, a glass orb infused with both MirageWeaver and MemorySong magic. It could hold memories or messages. But thanks to the MirageWeaver magic, only the intended could ever see its true contents. Alyx had never seen anything like it before. Jordan had said that Tobias, the chief of Aradale, had created it.
Alyx stared at the globe, willing it to reveal its secrets. But the mist within never cleared, no matter how much she stared or shook it or warmed it up in her hands.
Alyx heard a noise and almost dropped the globe. A thumping. From within the house. Had they been discovered? Alyx leapt to her feet and dashed from the room to the second floor landing.
It was Israel. He was trying to walk down the stairs, hanging on to the handrail, his legs stumbling from one step to the next, still stiff from the remnants of the Cerberus venom.
Watching him struggle with the stairs melted her heart. She forgot that she was avoiding him. Alyx moved instinctively to his side and tucked her arm around his waist. It was only when she was this close to him that she remembered how much taller he was than her. Israel’s eyes fell upon her. Brown eyes rimmed with thick lashes. Even now, cold like ice, these eyes spoke directly to her heart, which thudded in her chest so loudly that she thought he may have heard it. She couldn’t stay trapped in his stare so she dropped her gaze. Without meaning to, her gaze dropped to his lips and that scar.
A memory flashed across her mind of her fingers, her lips, her tongue across that scar. That scar. And across the others on his body. Alyx felt her insides clench so hard she almost doubled over. Joy and bitterness wrapped in one. Fire and ice. Life and death.
“L-let me help you,” Alyx said, trying to explain away her proximity.
Israel tensed beside her. He lurched himself forward, away from her touch, and she felt her fingers grasping after him. The echo of his skin left behind a resounding emptiness.
“I’m fine. I don’t need you.”
They were just words but they may as well have been made from shards of Black Stone for how they cut her.
I don’t need you.
The wounds these words left behind would remain. She tried not to let the pain show on her face. She couldn’t let him know he had hurt her.
“I was just trying to help,” Alyx could hear herself say. She sounded whiney. Pathetic. She had to stop these feelings. Had to make them stop. God, why had she ever allowed herself to feel these things?
Israel recommenced his clumsy descent down the final steps, leaving Alyx standing there, wordless and wrapped in her own self-pity, aching for his skin under her fingers.
On the ground floor, Israel limped across the room and disappeared into the kitchen.
The kitchen. Too many sharp objects. Hot things. He wasn’t completely well yet. Concern overriding everything else, Alyx followed him.
On the kitchen bench, Israel had taken out bread and cheese. Now he was opening the cupboards.
“What are you looking for?” Alyx asked as she moved towards him, although this time keeping her distance. “You shouldn’t be moving around so much.” Israel pulled a plate from a cupboard. Alyx grabbed the other end. “Let me help.”
“Leave me alone, dammit!” Israel yelled. “I’m not completely helpless, you know.”
The plate flew out of their fingers and across the room, breaking against the far wall, a shattered heart of white and blue. Alyx gasped. Even Israel looked stunned. The silence that followed was deafening, filled only with the unsaid.
Broken beyond repair. Alyx moved across the floor and began to pick up the pieces. There was nothing else left to do.
Neither of them dared to look at the other.
Chapter 3
In that space between sleep and consciousness, Passar heard Elijah call his name. Elijah. His Elijah. It melted the ice that had built up around his heart.
Passar rolled over towards the presence in bed behind him. He stretched his fingers across the sheets to catch Elijah’s waist...but his fingers kept moving through thin air. The warm presence disintegrated into cold ashes at his empty fingertips. The warmth around his heart shattered under the realization of the truth...
Elijah was...still dead.
Passar opened his eyes. The last of his hope that the past few months had just been a nightmare shattered. If only he could live in those blissful moments between asleep and awake. If only.
Waking up without Elijah – every morning – was the hardest part. No, lying down at night without him was the hardest part. Breathing without him was the hardest part.
Without him was the hardest part. Eternity without him.
Passar’s fingers gripped the sheet so hard it almost tore. He pushed his face into his pillow and let out a sob.
No. No tears. Anger. Anger was good. Anger was better. The only thing that numbed this pain was anger. Under the anger it still hurt, but at least it was bearable.
It was the Elders’ fault, the Elders must pay. All of them must pay.
Whatever it took. Passar would damn well do whatever it took to get Elijah back. Even if it meant that others had to die in his place.
Chapter 4
The next morning, Israel’s legs had lost even more of their stiffness. He tried to make as little noise as possible as he walked through the dry leaves on the ground around Tara. He had gotten out of bed at the first light after a restless night of very little sleep and followed Jordan down here.
In a clearing through the trees ahead, he could see that Jordan was running through a series of katas with a weapon that looked like a short staff with flame-like blades leaping off both ends. Israel paused for a moment, half behind a trunk of rough bark that looked like peeling paper, gray and powdery, which came off on his fingers. He watched Jordan move. Israel had to give it to Jordan − this guy was good. Smooth, confident strokes, clean lines…but he was too “by the book”. He wouldn’t last long on the street. He wouldn’t last long in a scrappy fight. A real fight.
“Is there something you were after? Or are you just enjoying the view?” Jordan’s voice rang out clearly. He didn’t sound breathless at all and he hadn’t stopped his precise movements. Israel could swear he could see a small smile teasing Jordan’s lips.
Dammit. He hadn’t been as inconspicuous as he thought he’d been. Well, he had been caught, so he might as well do what he came here to do. Israel stepped forward, trying to insert an air of confidence in his step by holding his shoulders higher than usual.
“Do you win any fights using those ballet moves of yours?” Israel said.
“Come closer and I’ll show you.” Jordan still hadn’t missed a beat in his movements. Speckles of early morning sun caught on the twirling blades of his weapon.
Israel placed his feet on the ground in a fighting stance, his fists clenched at his sides. If this Rogue wanted to attack him, he could try. Israel would make a real good go of it, weaponless or not.
Jordan laughed. “Relax, mortal, I don’t want to fight you. Not that I think it wouldn’t be an interesting fight, no matter how short it would be for you...”
Israel bristled and his knuckles cracked as his fists gripped tighter.
“...but our fighting is best saved for our real enemies, don’t you think?” At this Jordan pulled out of his last position, a side lunge with his weapon above his head, and stood, resting his weapon against his shoulder, in a casually confident stance.
Israel didn’t care about real enemies or not. Right now this cocky bastard was his enemy and needed to be pulled down a peg or two. He began to calculate how many punches he could throw in before the Rogue could react.
Jordan raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m sure Alyx would be disappointed in us both if we wasted any blood because of each other.”
Alyx. Her name caused a release in him. All the fight drained from him and left behind a cold prickly feeling. Alyx. He had messed that up, hadn’t he?
“Yeh,” Israel said, “I didn’t come here to fight you.”
“Why did you come?”
“I wanted to talk. Man to man.”
“You came just to talk?” Jordan sounded amused. That irked Israel. He didn’t see why this damned Rogue should be amused.
Alyx. Think of Alyx. Don’t knock this guy’s head off − she wouldn’t like it.
Israel loosened his fingers from their grip. “So your magic powers, your DreamWalker powers. I know that you guys can put up defenses to stop someone from attacking you with them...”
Jordan nodded. Go on.
Israel didn’t like that he was about to ask this Rogue for help. He didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. But Israel only had to remember how Alyx had used DreamWalker to put him to sleep for him to change his mind. Alyx had done this so that he would stay behind. So she could leave him behind. Because she thought he wasn’t strong enough to defend himself.
“It’s too dangerous for you,” she had said.
If Israel could fight against their magic, he would be better. He would prove he was useful and that he didn’t need to hide behind her. Even yesterday she was all over him like a child who couldn’t take care of himself. He didn’t want to be a child in her eyes. He wanted to be a man. He needed to be the man.
“So,” Israel said, “could I learn to defend myself against your magics?”
“Interesting.” Jordan made a small noise in his throat. “Could a mortal raise a defense against the magics?” Jordan began to pace. “Your only option against the elemental magics – fire, water, earth, air – is just to get the hell out of the way. But the Seraphim don’t need magics to defend themselves against mental magic attacks. DreamWalker and MemorySong can be deflected by using the defender’s own will, his or her inner power...theoretically, if a mortal’s mind was strong enough, they may be able to learn to raise their mental defenses in the same way.”
It sounded like this Rogue was issuing a challenge. “I’ll do it.” Bring it, Rogue-boy. “What do you want me to do?”
Jordan stopped pacing and spun so that he was facing Israel. Jordan looked at Israel in silence for long enough that Israel began to feel uncomfortable. There was almost a leer to Jordan’s stare. The side of Jordan’s lip tilted up. “Are you asking for my help, mortal?”
This cocky prick was going to make him say it. Israel grumbled a little before acquiescing. “Yes, Rogue, I am asking for your help.”
Jordan’s face broke into a grin. Israel didn’t have a good feeling about this.
“On the basis that I think this will be…an interesting experiment, I agree to help you.”
“Great.”
“On one condition.”
Of course there had to be a condition. “Which is?”
Jordan pursed his lips and stepped up to Israel. The Rogue was a few inches shorter than Israel, but he had something about him that made him seem bigger, taller than he actually was. Israel lifted his chin higher.
“Which is?” Israel repeated. He wasn’t intimidated by this Rogue, magics or not.
“You’ll do exactly as I say, when I say it.”
“But−”
“And no arguing with me.”
“You said one condition.”
Jordan narrowed his eyes. “And no arguing with me.”
Israel growled deep in his throat. “Fine. I accept your conditions.”
“Excellent.” Jordan lifted and swirled in the air. “Let’s begin.” He began to float off through the trees.
“Now?”
“No tim
e like the present, don’t you think?” Jordan called out behind him. “Don’t fall behind.”
Israel had to run to keep up.
* * *
“Tell me again why I’m standing on this rock?” Israel eyed Jordan as he stood on the bank of the river. Actually, the river was more of a deep creek, meandering along one part of the Tara farmlands, the smooth pebbles of the creek bed clearly visible through the running water. The air trapped under the canopy of trees was cool and filled with aqua-colored dragonflies and speckled emerald bugs. Dandelion seeds hovered in the air and sunlight danced across the water.
The curved rock underneath Israel’s bare feet was cold, having seen no sun overnight. He had to fight against the dull ache still in his legs in order to keep himself upright. Israel crossed his arms. He didn’t have to get any closer to know that Jordan was grinning.
“No situation where you will need to lift your defenses will ever occur on solid ground where you have no other distractions. You need to be able to lift your defenses at any time under any circumstances. Plus,” Jordan raised a corner of his mouth, “you look cute when you’re trying to concentrate.”
Israel lowered his eyes and grumbled under his breath. But he stayed on his rock-island. If he didn’t know any better, he would have said that this Rogue was flirting with him.
“I’ll go easy on you to start off. Remember what I taught you?”
Israel nodded. They had already spent the last hour or so going through the basics. Finally, Israel had been able to grasp the defenses within. And finally, Jordan had said that he was ready to try it out against some real magic.
Israel uncrossed his arms and steadied himself.
“Don’t pull until you see the pulse coming. You won’t get any warning in real life.”