by Hanna Peach
The last time they were like this, they were both naked. Oh God, she should not be thinking about him naked. Alyx bit her lip. She took a deep breath, careful not to let it make a noise, and let it out slowly.
“Alyx? Don’t take this the wrong way, but...I like it when you need me occasionally. It doesn’t happen often.”
Alyx turned her head towards him. The tiny bit of light slipping through the window fell across the soft smile on his face.
“Need you?”
“Yeh. You never seem to need me or anyone. You’re so,” he shrugged and it ruffled the sheets, “capable. It’s nice to know that I sometimes give you a reason to keep me around.” He laughed softly. “Apart from the whole forced-to-be-my-Guardian thing.”
“What?” Did he honestly think that the only reason she was near him was because of the Guardian bond? “I need you,” she blurted. “More than you know.”
Israel rolled to his side. “What did you say?”
Even in the dark she could feel his eyes boring into hers, into her soul, making her feel naked. Her heart clutching in her chest made it hard to breathe. It was too much. Everything was too much. In her heart, in her head, in her whole body − it was just too much. Alyx turned her head so she was looking at the ceiling. She couldn’t look into his eyes anymore. She feared that her own would reveal too much.
“Please look at me,” he asked softly.
“You.” The word came out louder than she intended. She turned her head to him and met his stare. “I need you.”
His eyes darkened. His fingers dug into her flesh as he pulled her towards him. His mouth fit over hers like a puzzle piece clicking into place. Her body ignited at his touch. This was what was missing with Jordan. Only Israel could make her feel this way.
Something came over her and she couldn’t get close enough to him. She clawed at him, trying to pull away the gaps between them that had appeared over the last few weeks. And her hands were under his shirt, searching for the familiar grooves and rough skin of his scars. His scars. Soft sighs fell from her lips as her fingers rediscovered each one.
“I love all those little noises you make,” he whispered in her ear, sending a raft of shivers down her back. He rolled to his back, pulling her over him. Her legs fell on either side of his slender hips. He pulled off his shirt and Alyx sat back to study his lean body beneath her. His mother’s ring glinted on his chest. He was perfection cast in amber, golden and hard and smooth.
And suddenly her singlet was off and discarded on the floor and his hands were moving down the bloodink tattoos on her side and down her stomach and...
No.
“Israel, wait, stop,” she said, fear leaking out in her voice. She pushed his hands off her belly. Her fingers drifted back to her bare stomach. The consequences washed over her like cold water. “What are we doing?”
“What’s wrong, angel?”
“I can’t do this again. I can’t be your in-between girl. That’s not enough for me.”
“In-between girl? What are you talking about?”
“Adere. You still love her.” Alyx wrapped her arms across her chest, hugging herself, making her shoulders collapse around her.
“Wait, you think I’m in love with Adere?” Israel frowned, lifting himself up onto his elbows. “Alyx, I don’t love her. I never loved her. I mean, yes, we were two lonely and messed up people who needed each other at a really horrible time in both our lives, but it was never...that.”
“But you keep wanting to save her. You keep wanting to get her back. You keep risking everything to save her,” she finished lamely.
“I don’t believe this.” He sounded angry. Israel sat all the way up, causing Alyx to jump off his lap and recurl herself on the far side of the bed. “Alyx, I did this to her. I’m the reason she is trapped in her own goddamn body. Me. My fault. What kind of a man would I be if I didn’t fix it, huh? Tell me, what kind of man? I’d have no chance in hell of ever deserving...” He stared at her, jaw twitching with tension. He threw his head back towards the ceiling and let out an exasperated noise. Slumping forward with his elbows on his knees, he ran his fingers through his hair. “This is why you told me you couldn’t be with me, isn’t it? Because of Adere. You thought I loved her and not... Jesus, Alyx.”
Alyx’s fingers were trembling against her arms as she hugged herself. He didn’t love Adere. But she had been so sure… Was this her fault? Did she ruin things the first time because she was too scared to ask the question, too scared to show him her heart?
“But...why did you let me go so easily?” After she heard her words aloud, she winced at how whiney her voice was.
“Why did I let you go?” He snorted. “I don’t know. I guess part of me didn’t believe that you would actually want to be with me in the first place. I thought my luck had finally run out.”
“Your luck?”
“Come on, Alyx. An angel like you, a street kid like me...”
Alyx’s mouth dropped open. “When have I ever said that? What have I ever done to make you feel like I think that way?”
Israel didn’t look at her. He just shrugged. But she could see the pain in his eyes, the self-doubt.
He was wrong. He was more than just a street kid. Didn’t he know how much she needed him? Did he not understand how much he was worth? She had to convince him. If she could just make him see it…
Alyx crawled forward across the mattress towards him. He didn’t move, but his gaze moved up to watch her approaching. She stopped before him. Sitting on her knees, she reached her hands forward and cupped his face. He let some of the weight of his head rest in her hands.
“Israel, I wouldn’t change you. Not a thing. You are beautiful and perfect and...” And I love you.
Tell him you love him...tell him you love him the way he is.
But the words wouldn’t come. So, she filled the silence by pressing her mouth to his. She poured her heart into the kiss, praying that it would speak for her. Hoping he would understand what she wanted to say but was still too terrified to voice.
His hands found her bare back and he pulled her down along him, their bare torsos fitting against each other, each heart beating against the drum of the other. He reacted underneath her, gentle at first, then harder and needing. Alyx was about to lose herself to him again when he pushed her back.
“Wait,” he said, “if we keep going, I won’t be able to stop, and... I know you, Alyx. It doesn’t matter what I say, there’ll be a part of you that still doesn’t believe that I’m not in love with Adere. I still need to make things right with her. So let’s take things slow. And let me work at proving you wrong.”
Alyx understood. She nodded and slipped into the crook of his arm. It fit her as if she had never left. Her nook. It felt like she had come home, come back to where she belonged, lying here against him.
At the same time, a part of her was unsettled with the secrets she was still keeping from him. She had to tell him about Mayrekk believing that he was part-demon. That she may be with his child... How would he react? What about Jordan? Alyx squeezed her eyes shut. No, she couldn’t think about it now. Tomorrow. She could worry about all that tomorrow.
She fell asleep and for the first time in many nights, she slept soundly and deeply.
Chapter 15
Israel couldn’t believe his luck. He couldn’t sleep as he lay propped up on one arm next to his sleeping angel. Some time before, she had rolled from him to her side. She had mumbled and reached out behind her to grab at him. He had complied and folded himself around her back. She had sighed and had been still ever since.
Now he was playing a little game with himself. He traced his gaze along her pale neck, her bare shoulder, then at the section of her waist that dipped before rising into the curve of her hip, wanting desperately to touch her but willing himself not to, just to see how worked up he could get without it. He lay there, skin buzzing. He was going to go insane.
He gave in. With light fingertips he traced
her neck, then her shoulder and that section of her waist...that section of her waist that made him want to give in further and curl his fingers around her hips and pull her back onto him.
She moaned in her sleep and pressed back against him. Christ. She was walking a dangerous line. If she did that again they would both be in trouble. And he would have to break his word to her to take things slow. Idiot. Why had he said that? No. It was the right thing to do. And he would not break his word to her. Ever. Through some miracle she cared for him back. Which meant he had a chance at keeping her. But he had to make things right before he deserved her.
He rolled onto his back so that there was space between them. He needed a few minutes without her soft skin torturing him. He could see the pale curtains begin to glow with light. It must be dawn. He should go. Otherwise they could be caught here together. Not that he minded letting everybody know that she was his. His. The thought made him want to wrap her back up in his arms. But he refrained.
He knew from what Alyx had told him of the Elders’ society that their relationship was forbidden. But he wasn’t sure how these FreeThinkers felt about mortals and Seraphim being together. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize what he had been so lucky to get back.
Israel left a single kiss on her neck and inhaled the sweet smell of her skin, then slipped out of bed. He opened the door quietly and poked his head out to peek up and down the corridor. He was about to dart across the corridor when a noise alerted him to the movement of someone coming around the corner farther up the hallway. Israel pulled his head back in and closed the door. He would just have to wait until they passed. He kept his ear on the door, listening as they approached down the hall.
But they didn’t pass. They stopped right outside the door. Panicking, Israel glanced around for somewhere to hide. The window. Israel slid open the curtains of the window.
No doubt they would barge in any second now or, if he was lucky, they would knock first. But they didn’t knock on Alyx’s door. Israel heard the dull echo of their knocking on his door and a muffled voice calling out his name. They were after him.
Israel grabbed the top of the sill and swung his legs, knees tucked, so that his feet landed softly on to the sill. Spinning on his toes, then pushing out, he launched up and out of the window, grabbing onto the awning of the roof above. He pulled himself up and vaulted across the roof. Jumping backwards off the other side of the roof, he grabbed again at the awning above his window and swung himself back into his room. Just as the doors burst open.
Marin and Jordan stood like an unfriendly wall, blocking his doorway. Great. Exactly what you wanted to see darken your doorway at the crack of dawn.
“Can I help you?” asked Israel, standing squared towards them. He would not allow himself to be intimidated by them.
“Why didn’t you answer?” Marin snapped at him.
Israel shrugged. “Deep sleeper.”
“You sleep standing up?” Marin growled, obviously not buying Israel’s explanation.
Jordan stepped forward, holding his hands out as if to placate them. “We’re not here to start a fight. Now quiet down or you’ll wake everyone up.” He nudged his head towards Alyx’s room leaving no doubt in Israel’s mind that Jordan didn’t want Alyx awake for this.
A prickle started in Israel’s neck. “Why are you here, then?”
When Jordan spoke there was a grim look to his eyes that scared the hell out of Israel. “You need to come with us.”
Chapter 16
Alyx found herself smiling when she woke. She stretched out her fingers to find him and found cold sheets. She bolted upright. He was gone.
Why did he leave? Alyx felt a wave of insecurity wash over her. What if he regretted last night? What if he regretted staying? What if he changed his mind? Her fingers tingled, cold and bloodless, and the warmth slipped from her limbs.
She could slip into his thoughts. Since their time at Tara, she had purposely refrained from doing this for fear of what she would find, but right now she needed to know. Alyx closed her eyes and her mind found his.
“...telling you. I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Israel pleaded. His eyes searched the faces of the three Seraphim who held him captive in this strange windowless room, looking for some sort of indication that this was just some sick little joke.
“Don’t play games with us, boy,” said Marin.
“Marin, please,” said Tobias. “It is possible that Israel had no knowledge of his bloodline.”
“Of course he’d say that,” Marin grumbled.
“What right do you even have to accuse me of such a thing?” demanded Israel.
There was a silence.
“Mini.” It was Jordan who finally spoke. He had been standing to one side, not even looking at Israel.
“How would she know?”
“Dianne found it in her memory. Mini could smell the demon in you the very first time you met in the Hollows.”
Israel remembered Mini sniffing the air when he stood at her cell in the Hollows. Had Mini been smelling him? Could they be telling the truth?
Israel shook his head. It couldn’t be true. “I can’t be part-demon. I’d know.”
“It would explain your extraordinary strength, your excellent eyesight, and would explain why Samyara is after you.” Jordan turned to face him. “Unless of course, you’re really working for Samyara and this Guardian thing with Alyx is some sort of elaborate demon magic trick to get within our community.”
“That’s a lie.” Israel stood up so quickly, he knocked his chair back with a clatter.
Within an instant, Jordan and Marin had their weapons drawn.
“Gentleman, please. There is no need for violence.” Tobias held up his hands in a placating motion. “Israel, please look at it from our perspective. We don’t know anything about you apart from what Alyx has told us. You now know the location of Aradale and are in a position to discover the rest of the locations of the Rogue communities. If you just consent to proving your innocence, then we can go on as if nothing happened,” Tobias said.
“What do I have to do?” Israel tried not to let his nerves show.
“Let Dianne shift through your memories. We shall find out soon enough whether you have any alliance with the Darkened.”
No. Alyx pulled herself back into her body. It pained her to know that Israel had to find out about his demonblood like that, alone in that dark room like he was a criminal. Her heart burned with fury at Jordan, Marin and Tobias. Then it turned to ice. If Israel opened up his mind… Alyx flushed with the thought of having all of their private moments exposed. She had to stop them.
She flew from the room, throwing on her singlet and grabbing her sword on her way out. Alyx knew from her connection with Israel that he was underneath the building. Some sort of basement, she suspected. She sped through the corridors and down the stairwell, startling the Seraphim that she flew past.
After racing up and down the whole bottom floor, Alyx let out a cry of frustration. There was no way down to a basement. No stairs, no lift… But there had to be a way down. She could feel Israel down there. There had to be a hidden stairway somewhere. But where?
Alyx remembered the maps and layouts of Michaelea she discovered when she was searching through Elder Michael’s chambers. If anyone had a plan of Aradale, Tobias would.
Alyx flew towards Tobias’s office, secure in the knowledge that he wouldn’t be there.
Tobias’s door was unlocked. After checking that no one was in the corridor, Alyx slipped inside. She aimed straight for the few Threads that were rolled up on the shelf next to his inventions. Her fingers brushed hurriedly across the Threads.
Nothing useful. No map. How could this be?
A noise at the door made her freeze. Two voices. Alyx scanned the room for somewhere to hide. There was only the desk and that was too far away. The door handle turned. Alyx twitched in panic. She was about to get caught.
An object on the shelf caught her
eye, and she almost cried out with relief. She grabbed for the Miragecharm and activated it so that she blended in with the background. Just as the door swung open and Dianne and Jordan floated in. Alyx scarcely dared to breathe lest they hear her.
“…and we’ll be there, Dianne. Don’t worry. He can’t hurt you,” Jordan was saying. He floated straight for the bookcase filled with mortal books that spanned across the wall behind Tobias’s desk, Dianne behind him. What was he doing?
Jordan fumbled with something at one end of the bookcase. Alyx’s mouth dropped open when a section of bookcase clicked and swung out a little from the wall. A secret passageway. Of course.
Adrenalin buzzed under Alyx’s skin as she watched them enter the dark passageway. The bookcase closed behind them.
As soon as she heard the bookcase click, Alyx flew for the area where she saw Jordan fumbling. There had to be a lever or something… Alyx felt around the shelving but she couldn’t find it. She moved back and stared at the bookshelf. Could the lever possibly be a book? But there were so many books. It would take too long to try each one. Surely there was an easier way?
Alyx drew her eyes across the spines and titles, praying that something would stand out... Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Darney…wait. Alyx remembered reading A Tale of Two Cities. Charles Darney was a character. Charles Dickens was the author. Could this be it?
Alyx reached out and pulled back the spine of the book. She was rewarded with a click to her left.
The passageway was dim and immediately turned into a dark set of stairs that curled around. Alyx followed them down. At the bottom of the stairs was a long dark corridor, lit only by a few scattered torches along the wall. The flames flickered as she passed, the only evidence of her movement. The Miragecharm made sure that even her shadow had disappeared. Along the corridor were doors. Which one?