by Lisa Carter
Despite her best efforts, her eyes welled. “You’ve been quite the Good Samaritan. Loving the poor little fatherless girls. This just proves we could never be happy together.”
She’d been so easy to deceive. Only because she’d so desperately wanted it to be true—having Ethan in her life. For a moment, she thought she detected movement in the bushes.
“That’s not how I felt,” he grunted. “That’s not how I feel.”
“How do you feel, Ethan? About me? About taking on fatherhood?”
Ethan raked his hand over his hair. “I—I—”
“That’s what I thought. I told you from the beginning—we’re a package deal, me and the girls.”
“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” His mouth flattened. “When you’ve calmed down, we can—”
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down.” She stiffened. “I let myself believe you were different. But you’re just like Tony.”
He sucked in a breath. “I’m nothing like Tony. How dare you compare me to their no-good dad.” He scrubbed his face. “I’m going to leave now before we say things that can’t be taken back.”
“Run away. After all, that’s what you do best. Just like Tony.” She jutted her jaw. “Worse than that, you’re just like your father.”
Anger and hurt blazed from his eyes.
She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? One misguided decision can haunt the rest of your life.” She lifted her chin. “Well, you’re about to discover that truth for yourself. Enjoy the beach, Ethan.”
“Have your pride, Amber.” His face hardened. “But I think you’ll find it a cold comfort. Let me know when you want to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk to you, Ethan. In fact, don’t let us keep you from your wonderful life. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
Suddenly, her father came onto the terrace. “Sorry to interrupt. Are the girls out here with you and Ethan?”
“I haven’t seen them.” Her lip curled. “And the girls won’t be seeing so much of him from now on. Actually, none of us will. Isn’t that right, Ethan?”
Amber’s father looked between them. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“Nothing.” Her eyes bored into Ethan’s. “Everything’s exactly as it was always meant to be.”
Ethan’s face fell, and then almost as quickly, anger licked the broad planes of his features. Turning on his heel, he stalked up the stone steps and disappeared into the atrium. She started to shake.
Her father touched her sleeve. “Amber, sweetheart.”
If she didn’t get out of here this minute, she was going to fall apart.
“Dad...” She inhaled sharply. “Would you mind spending the rest of the day with Lucy and Stella? I’d really like some alone time, if that’s all right with you.”
Her father’s brow furrowed. “Of course, honey. I love spending time with them, but what’s—”
“I need to go, Dad. Please thank everyone for me.”
She staggered toward the parking lot. Nothing had gone as she’d hoped today. Perhaps losing Ethan meant nothing ever would.
Chapter Fourteen
The next morning at the house, Ethan threw a handful of shirts into his duffel bag.
“So that’s it, then?” Grandma folded her arms. “You’re going to pack up and leave?”
“Amber won’t let me explain.” Yanking out a drawer from the bureau, he dumped his socks on top of the shirts. “She won’t listen.”
Last night, his grandmother had called Amber in an attempt to mitigate the blame for coming up with the scheme in the first place. To no avail.
“And if she did listen?” Grandma sank onto the mattress. “What would you tell her, Ethan?”
“The truth.” He rammed the drawer back into the bureau. “That this whole thing began as a way to get you to move closer to me and also make sure Amber finished school.”
“Don’t know that I’d start there.” His grandmother shook her head. “Amber hates being the object of pity.”
“It wasn’t pity, Grandma. We were both invested in her success. Success meant her finishing school. And after you broke your leg, she couldn’t do that without someone stepping in to take care of the girls. Sure, I was reluctant about twin-sitting at first, but then...” He scraped his hand over his face.
“Then?”
He sighed. “Then Lucy and Stella staked a claim to my heart. I love spending time with them. I love them.”
“Of course you do.” Grandma nodded. “The real question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“There’s nothing I can do to convince Amber things are not as she imagines.” He glared. “Why can’t she see that people care about her and the girls? Why must she shut everyone out?”
“She’s been hurt, badly, and has lost her ability to trust anyone but herself.”
“I’d thought—hoped—she was beginning to trust me. See that I wasn’t like her ex-husband. But now...? I have no one to blame but myself. I should’ve trusted her and been honest with her.” He threw up his hands. “She wants me out of the girls’ lives. Out of her life.”
His grandmother gazed at him over the top of her reading glasses. “And since when have you ever done anything anyone told you to do? You need to tell Amber how you feel.”
“I did, Grandma.”
“Not just about her girls, but about her, too.”
His chest tightened. Amber had asked him how he felt, and he’d come up empty, unable—unwilling?—to articulate his feelings. “I don’t know what you mean. Amber is Matt’s sister. A friend.”
“A friend?” Grandma snorted. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. That excuse is wearing thin.”
“So she’s a very good friend.” He set his jaw. “Amber and the girls have become dear to me.”
Grandma raised her eyes to the ceiling. “This is what I deal with, Lord.” Her mouth pursed. “The problem is that neither of you can be honest about how you feel for each other. You’re in love with Amber. And I strongly believe she is in love with you.”
His mouth fell open. “That’s not true.”
She cocked her head. “Which part? About her loving you, or you loving her?”
“Either. Both. Neither.” He growled. “All of it. That wasn’t the deal, Grandma. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement.”
She lifted her chin. “So you’re still determined to leave Truelove? You’ll be okay never seeing Amber or the girls again?”
“I...”
Ethan swallowed. Leaving Truelove forever had been his plan. A plan that didn’t seem as appealing now for a multitude of reasons. He’d not counted on his mountain hometown growing on him as it had. Nor two adorable blonde four-year-olds. But there was their mother to consider.
As if he could seriously forget her. He couldn’t go a quarter of an hour without Amber consuming his thoughts. And the idea of never seeing them again? Not being able to watch the girls grow up. Not being a part of their lives; it tore him up inside in a way he’d not anticipated.
Left him feeling hollow in a way he’d sworn never to feel again—not after his dad abandoned them. Maybe he did have father issues.
For the first time in years, he’d been happy. Really happy. Grandma, the girls and Amber had filled his life with laughter and a sense of rightness. But now?
He dropped his chin. “If I leave within the hour, I’ll reach Wilmington before dark.”
“So you’re still determined to leave?”
“What else can I do? There is nothing here for me. No future with her.”
“She’s hurt and confused right now—”
“Join the club,” he muttered.
“What if you gave her time to get used to the idea?”
The what-ifs were eating him alive.
<
br /> “She’s made her feelings clear regarding my continued presence in their lives. I have to respect her wishes.” He ran his hand over his head. “But don’t worry. You don’t have to go with me.”
His grandmother’s eyes narrowed. “But what about our agreement?”
“You’ve got lots of friends in Truelove. A great support network. And the matchmakers. Your whole life is here. There’s no reason for you to leave.”
Grandma looked at him. “Except for you.”
Ethan shrugged. “We’ll call. Text. You can visit.”
His grandmother’s shoulders sagged. “Where’s your support network, Ethan?”
Ethan swallowed. “I’ll get by. I always do.”
“You mean you’ll exist.” His grandmother’s chin wobbled. “And not happily.”
But that was the way of things. He’d learned that lesson as a boy. Nothing lasted forever. Certainly not happiness.
He blew out a breath. “I guess I needed you more than you ever needed me. Some things never change, huh?”
“Ethan...” She reached for him, but he moved away.
“I need to get on the road pretty soon.”
She rose. “I’ll go with you, sweetheart.”
“No... I won’t allow you to sacrifice your life for me.” He grimaced. “Again.”
She blocked his escape. “You were never a sacrifice, honey. You were a gift to your granddad and me.”
A hollow feeling resided where once his heart dwelled. “I was wrong about you leaving Truelove, Grandma.”
She lifted her chin. “A change would be good for both of us. Sand between my toes. Ocean waves. Sea breezes.”
“You’re part of Amber’s support network. Lucy’s and Stella’s, too. I won’t take you away from them.”
“Amber has her father now. Dwight and the girls will spend a lot of time together. She has good friends like Callie and the Stones. But you, sweetheart...” Grandma touched her worn palm to his face. “What do you have?”
He had nothing without Amber and the girls. His stomach lurched. He wanted nothing but Amber and the girls.
“I love you for offering to come with me, Grandma.” He kissed her cheek. She smelled of everything good from his childhood—like lavender and snickerdoodle cookies. “But this is your home. And when you find a forever home, you don’t ever let it go.”
For a time, he’d begun to imagine Truelove might be his home. But like so many things in his life, it was not to be.
“I want you to find your forever home, too, Ethan.”
“Maybe I will.” His tone became wistful. “Someday. Maybe sand, sea breezes and ocean waves were always meant to be my future. Perhaps I’ll find it there, but...” He swallowed. “Just not here.”
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am this didn’t work out for you. The matchmakers and I had so hoped...” Biting her lip, she looked away.
As he’d suspected, a well-meaning but a doomed-to-failure conspiracy to throw him and Amber together.
“Not all of us get a happily-ever-after, Grandma.” He sighed. “But I hope Amber gets hers. She deserves someone wonderful.”
“You’re wonderful, Ethan.”
He shook his head. “And more than anything, I pray the girls get their forever daddy.” His voice choked. “It just wasn’t ever supposed to be me, I guess.”
Ethan needed to get out of here before he lost it in front of his grandmother. He’d stopped crying the day his dad walked out. What was the point? Tears were a wasted action.
In his pocket, his cell phone buzzed. He almost didn’t answer it, in no mood to talk to anyone. But force of habit prevailed, and he dug the phone out of his jeans.
He glanced at the screen. “It’s—” His eyes darting to his grandmother, he answered it. “Amber?”
“Are Lucy and Stella with you?” Her words came out in a rush. “With Miss ErmaJean? Have you seen—”
“Wait, wait. Slow down.” His heart pounded. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. What’s wrong?”
“Lucy and Stella, they’re gone. They’ve run away.” Panic laced her voice. “I’ve searched everywhere. I don’t know what to do.”
“How do you know they’ve run away?” His grip tightened on the phone. “If someone has taken the girls, we need to call—”
“I’ve called the police, and they’re out looking. So is my dad. The girls left a note.” She swallowed a sob. “But you’re right. Someone could’ve... Anything could happen to them.”
His heart slammed against his rib cage. “Where are you, Amber?”
“I—I’m at the trailer. This is all my fault, Ethan. If I’d been a better mother—” She sobbed into the phone.
“Stay where you are. I’m coming,” he spoke into the receiver. “I’ll have Grandma alert the matchmakers. We’ll find them, Amber. They can’t have gone far. It’s going to be okay.”
His grandmother grabbed his sleeve. “What’s happened?” Her blue eyes clouded with fear.
Ethan clicked off and scrubbed his hand over his face. The twins were so little. And so vulnerable. “Lucy and Stella have run away.”
Grandma put her hand to her throat. “Amber must be going crazy with worry.”
“And blaming herself.”
His grandmother’s mouth trembled. “It’s what she does when something goes wrong. Whereas you...” She bit her lip.
“Whereas I run.” He squared his shoulders. “But not this time, Grandma.”
* * *
When Ethan’s truck pulled into her driveway, Amber quickly locked the trailer door and clambered into the passenger seat beside him.
His gaze raked over her tear-streaked features. “Tell me what happened, Amber. When did you last see the girls?”
Unable to keep her hands still, she swept her hair behind her head into an untidy bun. “We need to go look for them.”
“Take a breath. Let’s think through this first. Did something happen this morning?”
“Lucy and Stella were so quiet when Dad brought them home after the reception yesterday. Too quiet.” Her mouth trembled. “I think they must’ve overheard us arguing on the terrace. And when you left...”
He’d stormed out of the reception—not his proudest moment.
She took a breath. “Last night, they looked so sad. I should’ve talked to them at breakfast, but I was upset.” Her blue eyes blazed with anguish. “I thought seeing me cry would be worse. So I went into my bedroom and shut the door.”
His heart jackknifed. Amber had been crying. Because of him.
“I was only gone for ten minutes, but by the time I dried my eyes and came out, they were gone.”
She reached into her pocket and withdrew a scrap of paper torn from a pre-K writing tablet. The kind with a dashed red line positioned between two blue bold, solid placement lines.
He scanned the note, written in crayon with Stella’s strong, if messy, penmanship.
MOMMY AND ETHAN,
BE HAPPY.
LUV,
LUCY AND STELLA
His mouth tightened. “Did they take anything with them?”
“Their school backpacks are missing. The book you gave them.” She swiped at her eyes. “And, of all things, a container of leftovers from the fridge.”
“What leftovers?”
“It doesn’t make sense. They don’t even like vegetables. None of this makes any sense. If anything happens to them, Ethan...” Her voice broke.
He took her in his arms. “Don’t think like that.”
She sobbed into his shirt. “Why does everyone leave me? My mother. Tony. My dad.”
If she’d only given him a chance, he would’ve never left her. Or those girls of hers he loved more than life itself. But he couldn’t say those things to her. She wanted no future with him. He had
only himself to blame.
Ethan figured she’d only called him out of sheer desperation.
His arms tightened around her. “We’ll pray for God to show us where to find them, Amber. And pray He will protect them until we can get to them.”
“You want to pray? With me?” Tears streaking her face, she lifted her head. “You really have changed, haven’t you?”
“With God all things are possible.” He cradled her face in his hands. “And I’m choosing to believe God will help us to find the girls. Don’t lose faith, Amber. God is here with you.” His voice thickened. “And so am I.”
She’d called him, hadn’t she? That had to mean something. That on some level she still trusted him, if only a little.
Her eyes pooled. “Thank you, Ethan. After what happened yesterday...”
“The only thing that matters is finding Lucy and Stella.” He tightened his jaw. “I won’t rest until the girls are safely home in your arms. Where they belong.”
* * *
Amber had felt so safe and right in his arms.
He’d been so sweet and tender not only with her, but with her girls, too. Maybe she’d overreacted about his and ErmaJean’s arrangement. Stumbling over her pride yet again. Had she learned nothing from the estrangement with her father?
But she couldn’t think about that now. She had to find her girls before it was too late.
“God, please don’t let us be too late,” she whispered.
Ethan’s strong hands gripped the wheel, but he closed his eyes. “Yes, Lord,” he rasped. “Show us without delay where to turn first.”
Her heart quivered at the intensity and raw faith etched across his handsome features. He wasn’t the same reckless boy she’d known. He was a man who devotedly loved her children. And his God.
Ethan opened his eyes. There was a peace in his gaze. “I have an idea of where they might have gone. Vegetables, you said? What book?”
She shrugged. “Corn. Peas. The duckling book.”
“They’ve gone to the pond, Amber.” Some of the tension left his face. “To see the ducks.”
Her brow puckered. “But that’s too far for them to have wandered alone. If someone saw them walking on the road and picked them up...”