by Rob Edwards
“That goes for all of us,” Shelley said.
Judith had always thought that the majority of her teammates felt the same way Bernie did, and were just relying on him to handle things. She was touched that they understood her predicament, and were willing to help her out. She took a moment to collect herself before pulling her hands from her face. “Thank y…” Her cubicle was empty. They had left her to do exactly what they said they were going to do…pick up the slack. She spun around, pulled a tissue, blew her nose and wiped it. “Okay,” She clicked on an email that looked important. “Time to grace that shithead with some effort.”
Chapter Nineteen
By ten o’clock, Delton was back at the prison. He was given his overalls, told to change, and report to the yard. He did as he was ordered. He sat and watched guys play basketball, while he replayed the day’s earlier events in his mind. Noah Higgins’ file said he was “prone to meltdowns.” It didn’t go into great detail about what actually happened during the meltdowns. Some of the other materials mentioned the kids hitting themselves, and even Rena discussed it with him, but he hadn’t taken it seriously. He wasn’t prepared for it when it happened.
A basketball bounced out of bounds. He reached over, caught it, and tossed it back.
“Hayes, you playing?” One of the guys asked.
“Nah, man,” Delton said. “I’m good.”
Delton wanted to blame Rena, or Dr. Fitzpatrick for not preparing him as completely as they should have. But that was a cop-out. He was really angry with himself. They can only spoon-feed him so much. If he agreed to take part in something like this, then he needed to step up and learn what he needed to know, so things like that morning never took place.
He pictured the notebook in the room behind the mirror, and next to his name was the word, “failed.” Thinking about it was making him crazy. It was proving the parole board right. For all he knew that was part of the experiment. Put an inmate into a situation he isn’t truly prepared for, and watch him sink like a stone. Make sure everyone knew they were right to lock him up in the first place.
Taysha’s words started ringing in his ears again. “So what you gonna do? You just gonna roll over ‘cause poor little Delton feels he got a bad deal, and by doing that, prove them right? Or are you gonna do the right thing: outshine every other one of them rejects out there who’s also in this program, and prove the parole board wrong?” Delton smiled remembering she used language that was a bit more foul.
He jumped from his seat in the yard and headed to a part of the prison he’d never been before—the library. Now that the shock of the morning had worn off, Delton was seriously pissed. He felt like that kid got the better of him today. But it wasn’t the kid, it was the issue the kid was a victim to. And he let the kid down by being unprepared. Delton wasn’t sure if he was still a part of this project or not, but he did have the power to make sure things like this didn’t happen again if he was.
He walked into the prison library and an older gray-haired white man looked up at him. “How are you doing, sir? Can I help you find something?”
“I need whatever you got on autism.”
“Autism?” The older man said. “Nobody’s ever asked for anything on autism before.” He typed away at a keyboard next to him. Delton watched as the man reached for the mouse and began scrolling it with his forefinger. “I don’t have anything here, but I can get it delivered by tomorrow.”
“How can you do that?”
“The county library shares their collection with us,” the old man sat back and cracked his knuckles. “They’ll make a delivery for something we need within a day.”
“But I don’t know what to ask for.”
The old man jumped up. “Take a seat,” He said, patting the back of the chair. “I have everything that’s available right here.”
Delton walked around the desk and sat down. The older man showed him how to scroll through the selections and gave him a piece of paper to write his choices down, then left him alone to do his research. Skimming through the lists, Delton found there were a number of books on the topic, many of which he was afraid he wouldn’t understand. They seemed to have been written by doctors for doctors. In the end he picked three books: A Beginner’s Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder by Paul G. Taylor, Children and Autism: Stories of Triumph and Hope by Ennio Cipani, and 101 Games and Activities for Children with Autism by Tara Delany.
Delton waved the man back, and gave him the list. Then the man showed him how to look up videos on YouTube to get information on topics he was interested in. Delton was amazed to find literally hundreds of videos regarding autism spectrum disorder. He settled in and began clicking on them. The first video was called “Five Things to Know about Autism.” It was pretty much the same thing as was written in the paperwork he was given by Rena Blossom.
Next he watched a video showing an autistic kid having a meltdown. Having just experienced the situation first-hand, Delton found himself riveted to the screen as the scenario played out. The little girl began a sad moaning as she worked at some type of craft on a table. Then, completely upset with it, she took her arm, brushed it away and screamed. She stood and began hitting her face. The hairs stood up on Delton’s arms. It was as if Noah and this girl were playing the same role as little actors. The actions and movements were exactly the same. A woman came into view, took the little girl and put her into the same straight-jacket position that Miss Higgins had used, wrapping her legs around to completely incapacitate the girl until she calmed down. The video cut, and text at the bottom of the screen said “35 minutes later,” which was longer than Noah took to calm down. But Noah had been in full meltdown mode longer than this girl, before Judith had gotten him wrapped up. The girl was now calm and acted as if nothing had happened.
Another video showed a kid going off the rails at a mall. From the videos, Delton learned that the kids weren’t actually acting out, they were compensating for emotions they didn’t know how to control. It was useless to get mad at them, they didn’t even realize they were behaving badly.
Delton stood and called to the old man. “When will those books be here?”
“Tomorrow,” the man said, looking up from a book he was reading.
“All right,” Delton waved. “See ya then.”
The old man smiled and waved back. “See ya then, son.”
Delton headed back to his cell to grab the materials he’d already been given. He would reread them while he waited for the new books. Perhaps the benefit of experience would give him a new perspective on what they said.
Chapter Twenty
Noah sipped quietly on his vanilla shake while he looked blankly out the window through his bruised and puffy eyes. His fingers on his left hand slowly opened and closed.
Judith looked back and forth from Noah to the park across the street where the man was helping his stricken wife into her wheelchair. When she was seated, he leaned the wheelchair back, and pushed it through the grass onto the asphalt. Then he relaxed and casually rolled her down the path, soon lost from view in the small stand of trees on the far side of the park.
A small chocolate chip traveled up her straw and she chewed the sweet little treasure. After the day she’d had, she earned it.
She thought about how grateful she was for places like Lance’s Drive-in Burgers. Lance probably had not realized what a service he provided for mothers with special needs children when he initially had the idea for his restaurant. She was sure he just wanted to create a throw-back experience for his customers. But to be able to take her son out for a dinner after a hard day, and never even have to get out of the car was an absolute treat. If Noah had issues, or even another meltdown, she didn’t have to drag him out of a crowded restaurant. All she had to do was turn the key and drive away.
Her phone buzzed in her purse. Pulling it out, she looked at the screen, saw it was Rena, and dropped it into the seat next to her. Rena wasn’t Dr. Fitzpatrick, in fact she was a very sweet girl, bu
t Judith still did not want to talk to anyone from Marmont anymore today…perhaps ever again. She had already called Keener at lunch, and informed them that Noah would be attending from now on. Though the costs were exorbitant, she would just have to figure it out. She could no longer put Noah into a situation like he was this morning.
The voicemail alarm dinged on her phone. She decided to listen to it. After punching in her code she put the phone on speaker. “Hello Miss Higgins, this is Rena Blossom. I was calling to check on Noah. But…I wanted to check on you too. I’m sure this morning was a traumatic experience for you as well, coming in the way you did. I wanted you to know that Delton was actually doing well with the situation before the guard came in and it got out of hand. Anyway, I was checking on Noah’s status for tomor…” Judith hit the delete button. She quickly texted, “Noah won’t be in tomorrow.” and hit send.
It was all bullshit. If Delton had been doing well, the situation wouldn’t have ever gotten out of hand. It was so disappointing. Though she couldn’t say she was a big fan of Delton, there seemed to be something there the first day—a connection she sensed. And even though he fell asleep like a dumb shit, she thought there was something unique there. But then when she saw the total chaos, it was clear she’d been wrong.
Judith looked at her son—at the bruise around his left eye. She had half a mind to drive over to her father’s, drag Noah in, and say “See, I was right.” But she knew her father would casually look over and softly say, “Is he dead?” He had always been one to subscribe to the “Whatever doesn’t kill you…” philosophy, and that would just make her more angry.
Noah stopped sipping, leaned his head against his car seat, and watched a squirrel run around outside. He was so calm and serene now, but he was capable of so much rage. Somehow she could understand it. Without the ability to communicate, feelings of frustration can overwhelm and turn into something much worse.
And that’s what her father would say, “The boy needs to communicate, and those fancy schools aren’t helping him do that.”
There’s a part of Judith that agreed with him. Though Keener had been successful in getting him to do things like eat, drink, and put away toys, they hadn’t figured out how to help him communicate. He could understand words and orders but not give them back. There was no real way to determine what he wanted, until he was frustrated that he didn’t have it.
A large part of it was an ideological difference. The Keener School philosophy was that autism was not necessarily a disability to be overcome, as it was a genetic gift that made a person unique, like red hair or something. So instead of trying to overcome it; embrace it, and be the special person you were born to be. And though there was a certain amount of logic to that, the fact was, that without the ability to communicate properly, one could not thrive in the world.
Her phone buzzed again. She knew it was Rena calling back to discuss the text, and she didn’t want to go into it right now. But when she picked up the phone she saw it was Darlene. She tapped it, “Hey, Dar. What’s up?”
“Okay, Jim has a great idea.”
“Idea for what?”
“Judith, I want you to think about this and let it sink in, okay?”
“Oh, great,” Judith said, turning back around in her seat. “That’s a great way to start a conversation. I can feel a ‘no’ forming in my belly now.”
“Just hear me out.”
“I’m listening.” Judith took a long drink from her shake and looked back at the man with his wife in the park coming around the far side of the path.
“Jim says there’s this new guy where he works who would be perfect for you.”
“Mmmm.” Judith shook her head and swallowed her shake. “You have got to be kidding me. I am in no way ready to date anybody. Nor am I in that frame of mind.”
“Jude, listen. The guy is from Pennsylvania, and he doesn’t know anybody around here. Jim told him about you and he was interested in meeting you.”
“Sure he was. Until he finds out I have an autistic son, and then he forgets to call….for the rest of his life.”
“Nope. Jim told him all about Noah too. It didn’t faze the guy a bit. He said he wanted to meet you after he found out about Noah’s autism.”
Judith pulled the phone away and looked at it, if for no other reason than to make sure it was on and working right. She put it back to her ear. “Are you sure he knows about Noah?”
“Jim told him all about Noah. Jude, Jim’s not going to set you up for a fall. He’s gonna have your back.”
Judith took a breath. “I don’t even know if I’m ready to be in a relationship yet. But let me think about it.”
“Relationship. I don’t give a shit about a relationship. I just want you to get laid. You’ve been so damn cranky lately.” Darlene laughed.
“Oh, blow it out your butt,” Judith said, smiling.
“See what I mean?” Darlene said.
Judith laughed. “Thanks, Dar. I needed to smile.”
“You’re welcome. I got your back too, Sis.”
“You really do. Thanks again for today.”
“No problem.”
“Listen,” Jude said, setting her cup down in the holder. “Tell Jim I’m not saying no, I just have to figure out my next move with Noah right now.”
“Yes,” Darlene squeaked.
“That’s not a yes,” Judith said. “It’s just not a no.”
“I get it. I’ll tell him.”
“Thanks, Sis.”
“You’re wel…”
Judith tapped the call off and tossed it on the seat next to her. She looked over at the man and his wife. Their walk was finished and he was helping her back into the car. “Let’s go home, Noah.” She turned the key, threw the car into gear and drove away.
Chapter Twenty-One
Delton had been informed the night before not to report to the bus. Noah was taking the day off. So after breakfast he grabbed his books from the library, took them to a table in the yard and spent the day pouring over them. Since he was technically still part of the program, there had been no official cancellation of Noah’s involvement, he was not given a work detail within the prison. He could spend the day studying.
Reading about the anti-social behaviors, the meltdowns, and the repeated movements, he realized that having gone through all of this with an autistic child in a short span of time did give him perspective. He knew that if he had read this without ever meeting Noah, or spending any time with the boy, the books would have been nothing more than words on a page that he was required to get through, much like the materials he’d already been supplied. There would have been no real understanding of the actual challenges involved.
“Hayes,” A guard waved him over from across the yard. “Your appointment is here.”
He dog-eared the page, gathered his books and ran over to the guard. Danna was supposed to stop by after school. Perhaps she got out early and decided to come in. It was lucky he had not been over with Noah.
But the guard did not take him to the visitation room, he took him to the interrogation hallway and into a room where Taysha Williams was waiting for him.
He took a seat across from her. “What’s the word, Taysha?”
“No word yet,” She said. “I just thought, since I’m still getting paid, I ought to do something to earn it. So I stopped by to see how you was doing and if you wanted to talk.”
Delton shook his head. “I’m fine.” He spread out the three books he had checked out from the library. “I spent some time yesterday watching videos about autistic kids on the computer, and today these books came in for me to read.”
Taysha picked up one of the books and flipped through it. “Are they helping?”
“They’re giving me a few ideas.” Delton opened the book he was just reading to a few pages before the dog-ear flap. “Check this out.” He spun it around, and pointed to it. “This is all about Applied Behavior Analysis—you know, what they want me to test for when this
is done.”
“What about it?” Taysha asked, sliding the book closer.
“It says here that some people hate it.”
“Does it work?”
“Seems to,” Delton said.
Taysha pulled out a pair of readers, put them on and looked at the book more closely. “Well, if it works, why would people hate it?”
“A couple of reasons,” Delton said. “One is that they feel it treats autistic kids like they were dogs or something. Training them to sit up and shake and all that. But others say that autism is this way of being a special person and that it’s cruel to try to make an autistic person into a normal person because they aren’t naturally wired that way.”
Taysha took off her readers and looked at him. “And just what does Delton believe?”
Delton sat back. “Looking at Noah these last two days, I have to admit he’s wired a different way and all, but I can’t say that his life is some great gift or something. I mean, a kid that screams that loud and beats himself silly…that is some messed up shit.”
“I gotta say, my man,” Taysha said. “I am mighty impressed with all you’re doing. Aren’t you concerned that you’re doing it for no reason?”
Delton shrugged. “I may be. But if I do get to go back there, and I’m no more prepared than I was in the first place, I’m surely not gonna do no better. And if I never go back there again…well then, at least I know something I didn’t know before.”
“That’s a good way of looking at it.” Taysha said with a nod. “I know Miss Blossom and Dr. Fitzpatrick are going to go over and talk to Miss Higgins after the program closes for the day. They told me to give you the heads up that they may have her call and talk to you about how things are going to go moving forward. I think if you tell her about all the studying you’ve been doing, all will be well.”
The door opened and the guard stuck his head in. “Hayes, you’ve got a visitor.”