How could Jasper join Fedolia against me when she’d just betrayed us both?
I hadn’t betrayed her first.
Had I?
Talvikki had been so quick to forgive my deception that I’d let myself give up that unease straight away. But now …
Oh, argh! It didn’t matter how hard I tried. I always got something wrong.
But this time, I couldn’t run away from the consequences the way I had after my last soul-shattering fight.
So I drew long, cold breaths through my teeth and waited for the frantic chaos in my head and in my chest to subside, as my skin grew colder and colder with every moment.
Then I finally forced myself to turn around …
And found Fedolia standing behind me, looking pensive.
‘So –’ she began.
‘Wait.’ I sighed. ‘I’m sorry,’ I told her. It was only the third time in my life that I’d willingly uttered any apologies, but this one came out with barely a catch in my throat. ‘You were right,’ I admitted. ‘I should have told you and the others who I really was. I couldn’t do it at first – it wouldn’t have been safe or fair to my guards to put myself in any more danger. But once we became friends, it was wrong of me not to share the truth with all of you.’
Fedolia’s eyes widened. ‘Well,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t expecting that.’
‘But that’s not all.’ I swallowed over my parched throat, shivering hard. ‘Ever since I was born, people have only seen me as a princess, not as Sofia. They see the crown whenever they look at me – and honestly, they wouldn’t like me at all if it weren’t for everything I stand for, as a political symbol.’
‘That’s –’
‘That’s why, when I was with you and Talvikki and the others, I was so desperate not to be a princess. I just …’ Awkwardness nearly choked me, but I forced the words out anyway. ‘I just wanted you all to like me – for myself, not because of my family.’
‘We did.’ Fedolia frowned. ‘You know Talvikki and the others did – and I wanted to, by the end.’
‘But you were all thinking of me as a symbol too.’ I looked her in the eyes, willing her to see it. ‘You just told me I was supposed to be proof that humans could be trustworthy.’
‘So?’ Fedolia’s frown deepened.
‘You can’t count on me for that. I get things wrong all the time! But that’s because I’m a person, not a thing – and that’s not something I can change to make anyone else happy. Believe me, I’ve spent my whole life trying!’
I glanced past her at Jasper, whose friendship I’d unfairly mistrusted for so long. I’d been so afraid he would see my flaws if we ever met in person – but instead, he’d seen right through them into my heart.
‘That’s the real princess problem,’ I admitted. ‘It’s everyone – including myself – thinking I can never make a single mistake, ever, or else I won’t deserve anything at all … because only perfection is acceptable for a princess.’
I looked back at Fedolia. ‘Jasper was right about you too,’ I told her quietly. ‘Your family should never have given up on you just because you did one thing they didn’t like. That’s not your mistake – that’s theirs. Dragons wouldn’t discard their hatchlings for being imperfect. Neither should the rest of us. So …’
I drew a deep, snow-dusted breath, finally letting go of some of the fears that had clamped me tight for so long. ‘I can forgive you for betraying us,’ I said, ‘if you can forgive me for betraying you too.’
Fedolia didn’t speak for a long time, while the cold wind blew between us. Then she jerked her chin in a brisk nod. ‘Fine,’ she snapped. ‘We can try to be real friends after all, I suppose … if you don’t lie to me from now on. I won’t hand you over to any more giants – and neither of us will give up on each other for any stupid mistakes we make along the way.’
‘It’s a bargain.’ I couldn’t hold back my smile.
The kobold in front of me was sharp-tongued and tricksy – definitely imperfect, just like me – yet, for once in my life, I felt absolutely no doubt about my own decisions as her lips quirked into a hesitant smile in return.
In different ways, Talvikki and Jasper had both pushed themselves past all of my prickly, protective shields with their warmth and confidence to wrap themselves around my heart and turn me into their friend. Now I could almost glimpse Fedolia’s own hidden heart behind all of her careful layers of glittering carelessness … and that glimpse was worth lowering my own shields at last.
Jasper said, ‘Well, I think we should all reread Gert van Heidecker’s lectures on the ethics of comradeship – with a bucket of hot chocolate – as soon as we get home.’
Fedolia’s smile vanished. ‘You two are going back to Drachenburg? Well, of course you are. Obviously.’ She shook herself and took a quick step backwards. ‘Anyway! I’ll guide you as far back as Villenne, and then –’
‘Oh no,’ I said. ‘We’re not leaving yet.’
‘Not without our families!’ Jasper growled.
Fedolia let out a startled laugh. ‘In case you didn’t notice, you cannot rescue them. I thought that had to be obvious by now – even to you two!’
Hot black smoke snorted through Jasper’s nostrils, dispelling the last traces of philosophical detachment from his ferocious face. ‘I’ll melt the ice around my mother if it’s the last thing I do!’
‘Then they’ll freeze you halfway through,’ she snapped. ‘You cannot steal from the ice giants without being found out. You can trust me on that one!’
‘I do trust you,’ I said firmly. ‘And I think we should make another bargain now to replace our first one – an honest one on both sides this time. You’ll help us try to rescue our families, and in exchange – whether the rescue works or not – I’ll make you a full citizen of Drachenheim.’
‘What?’ Her eyes widened. ‘But –’
‘I know you lost your first home when you worked against the ice giants last time. This time, though, you’ll earn a home with me for as long as you want it. It could even be forever.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ Fedolia’s blue tongue flicked out to lick her lips in a quick, nervous swipe. ‘You know I’d never fit in at any royal human palace. I’d be the only kobold anyone’s ever seen in all of Drachenheim!’
‘So?’ I shrugged. ‘I’ve never fitted in there either. I told you – no one there likes me much.’
‘But –’
‘It won’t be easy,’ I said, ‘but we can make it work if we’re both stubborn enough. Any other kobold or goblin who wants to escape from the ice giants can find their own home in Drachenburg too. We’ll give them all the official Freedom of the City.’
There would certainly be ructions and outrage at that news. No one was used to seeing non-human creatures in the streets of Drachenburg … but so what? I hadn’t been used to it until I’d arrived in Villenne. The people of Drachenburg hadn’t been accustomed to the sight of dragons overhead either, but they’d eventually got used to it. It was long past time for all of us to open our minds and hearts to the outside world – because there were some things you could never learn by staying locked in isolation.
And everyone – everyone – deserved a safe home.
Fedolia took a long, deep breath … and then another. Finally, a familiar, mischievous grin tugged her blue lips upwards. ‘You know I do like trouble. What exactly are you planning?’
‘We’ll go in with fire and claws,’ Jasper snarled. ‘Obviously!’
‘No!’ I scowled at him in exasperation. ‘That’s the dragon problem in a nutshell. Gert van Heidecker would be ashamed of you!’
‘How can you say that?’ I had never seen Jasper so offended. His neck reared above me, tight balls of smoke bursting from his snout. ‘I’ve been studying his books for years! Every other dragon sneers at your puny philosophers, but I could quote every single line –’
‘But you stop thinking like them the moment danger comes,’ I snapped. ‘Your family defines p
ower as flame and claws, so that’s what you fall back on whenever you get scared.’
‘I am never scared!’ Jasper thundered. ‘I am a dragon. Dragons do not feel fear!’
Fedolia rolled her eyes and I had to stifle a choke of laughter.
It felt surprisingly good to have two friends here.
‘Anyway!’ I turned my laugh into a cough. ‘We certainly can’t handle this like princesses either.’ If that had been possible, Katrin’s attempt to smooth things over would have worked in the first place. ‘And we can’t handle it like dragons or like kobolds, since neither of those strategies have worked with ice giants before. So …’
I looked from one to the other – two true friends who looked like polar opposites. There was just one thing that bound all three of us together. ‘We’re going to handle this rescue like philosophers.’
It was time to find out how much I’d truly learned on Scholars’ Island.
CHAPTER 24
The last time we’d flown towards the ice giants, fear had almost overwhelmed me. This time, I wrapped myself in the protective power of the emotion I’d struggled to resist all my life: unpretty, un-princessy anger.
These hulking creatures had stolen my sister. It was wrong, and I was never going to let it go!
‘Hey! You lot!’ I bellowed the insolent words as Fedolia dropped her spell of invisibility and Jasper landed us on top of the first icy prison slab, where several of the ice giants had gathered in our absence.
‘Ah-ah-ahh!’ I waved the beating blue heart high in warning as giants roared to their feet all around us. ‘Careful! You don’t want this to get hurt, do you?’
It seemed to take forever for the deafening roaring to subside. But if they thought they could intimidate me now, they were wrong. I kept the same unimpressed sneer on my face until the noise died down.
‘We are here,’ I shouted to the giants when they’d finally settled, ‘to discuss your plans for the future.’
‘Stupid!’ An ice giant to our right shouldered past the others with a grinding noise, like mountains scraping against each other. His endless blue-and-white beard bristled to a halt six feet in front of me, jagged shards of ice sticking out like crystal spears of warning.
He’d already taken away my only family. He couldn’t threaten me with any worse.
Fury gave me the strength to smile patronisingly up at him. ‘You know. Your plans to keep your precious little territory safe – that’s all that matters to you, isn’t it? Well, we thought you might like the advice of trained philosophers while we’re here.’
He glowered down at me, raising one enormous fist in warning. ‘No advice needed from tiny trespassers!’
Jasper’s big snout fell open in outrage. ‘What do you mean, tiny?!’
‘Shh, dragon-boy,’ Fedolia muttered to him. ‘Brains, not fire this time, remember?’
Ignoring them both, I crossed my arms. ‘No?’ I asked the giant. ‘What are you planning to do then, once all of these rulers’ armies start to arrive? Thousands and thousands of humans marching across your perfect, pristine landscape, messing up all of that beautiful, flat snow …’
It took even longer for the irate roaring to subside this time. Finally, the ice giant in charge – I thought of him as the Big One – cut off the others with a sweep of his arm that sent cold wind billowing through all of my layers.
‘They send armies, we kill their kings!’
‘Mmm,’ I said doubtfully, turning to the others. ‘Do we really think that would work?’
Before I’d gone to Scholars’ Island, I might have agreed.
Now, Fedolia shrugged. ‘There can always be new royals, can’t there?’
‘There can.’ I sighed. ‘Trust me, there are always more cousins lying in wait to take the throne the moment anything goes wrong.’ Personally, I couldn’t stand any of my cousins – even Katrin could hardly bring herself to be polite to some of the really slimy ones – but still …
‘As far as most people are concerned,’ I told the giants, ‘it doesn’t matter who’s the king. All they care about, deep down, is that there is one, just to serve as a symbol for the country. The crown is all that really matters, and there’s always someone ready to wear that.’
The Big One turned to the others. ‘We’ll send our scouts to take their crowns!’
Argh!
‘That is not what I meant!’ I shouted. ‘It’s not about the physical crown, you idiots. It’s just about someone being in charge.’
‘Ice giants are very literal.’ Fedolia dusted off her sparkling blue nails. ‘You may be noticing that by now.’
‘Dragons don’t wear crowns,’ Jasper growled. ‘And there isn’t a threat in the world that could stop my family from attacking if you keep my mother prisoner!’
The Big One glowered down at us, beard quivering. ‘We’re not afraid of puny dragons!’
Dark smoke burst from Jasper’s nostrils … but he kept his snout firmly shut, despite the look in his eyes.
I was so proud of my friend’s true strength – but I had no time to stop and praise him for it.
‘You might not be scared of dragons,’ I told the Big One sternly, ‘but do you really want them flying over your territory all the time to bother you? And as for the armies, they will just keep coming. There are so many humans in the world nowadays! They’re all obsessed with looking powerful to each other … so they can’t sit back and just give up when someone kidnaps their rulers and makes them all look stupid.’
The Big One’s beard moved up and down with the workings of his massive jaw, as if he were physically chewing over what I had said.
I decided to make it easier for him. ‘Let us take a moment,’ I said in my best lecturer’s voice, ‘to consider the definition of true power.’
Fedolia chortled happily as she crossed her legs on Jasper’s neck, settling in to get comfortable. ‘Let’s hope this ends the same way the last lecture on power did!’
It was astonishing how easy it was to make someone listen to your philosophical opinions when you were holding their literal heart in your hands. Of course, it might have been considered cheating by a truly ethical philosopher, but I thought it was only fair: they were holding my heart and Jasper’s heart too, with our relatives trapped in their prisons of ice.
So I kept talking and talking … and talking even more, as my throat grew more and more parched, and Jasper and Fedolia took turns too, to add their own thoughts on the matter.
The giants rumbled and bellowed, but they didn’t walk away … and I took it as a good sign, two hours later, when the Big One’s closest neighbour lifted up his great beard in response to my latest dry, hacking cough. A stream of cool, melted ice trickled down into my mouth a moment later.
I’d never in my life hoped to drink an ice giant’s beard water. But my throat was in such dire straits by then that I swallowed down the cold, bitter stream with gratitude, tipping my head back to catch it all before I moved on to the next stage of my logical argument.
The Sofia I’d been a month earlier would have been horrified to find me here, dirty and rumpled, wearing multiple layers of stolen clothing and arguing with terrifying giants hundreds of miles away from the safety of my bedroom. I hadn’t even tasted a sip of hot chocolate in weeks!
For the first time ever, though, I was filled with the glowing certainty that I was exactly where I belonged and doing what I had been born to do.
It felt utterly exhilarating.
Almost four hours after we’d begun, the Big One sighed heavily and shook his head, circling back once more to the main point that I’d driven all along. ‘They will never stop coming? Even though they’d all die?’
‘Never,’ I said firmly.
‘Trust her!’ said Fedolia. ‘She’s an expert on human stubbornness. Just look at her now!’
I was too tired to even frown at her by that point. I kept my weary gaze fixed on the blue-flame eyes of the Big One. ‘Whether you freeze thousands and thousan
ds of soldiers or you kill them all, is that really what you want for your territory? A land littered with thousands of human bodies?’
The blue heart in my lap pulsed in time with my heartbeat as I waited for his answer.
‘Kobolds say,’ said the Big One at last, ‘Humans are coming anyway. New machines from their exhibition want to tear and change our land forever!’
‘I know what your spies in Villenne told you,’ I snapped, ‘but can’t you see? Now’s your chance to change that balance of power for good! The king of Valmarna only wanted to prove himself to the world by conquering the elements and creating new settlements here. But just think: what’s even stronger than the elements? You are! You control the elements, for goodness sake.’
I waved at the magically icy landscape. ‘Valmarna and the other kingdoms will never stop attacking if you make them look weak to the world. But if you make them look strong instead –’
‘We’re not giving up our land!’ Flames blazed in the Big One’s eyes.
Jasper rumbled with reluctant sympathy.
‘I told you they’d never go for it,’ chirped Fedolia.
‘They don’t have to.’ I smiled fiercely at the Big One. ‘I have a plan that will work for all of us,’ I told him, ‘but we’ll have to melt my sister first.’
CHAPTER 25
It took forever to melt that ice giant’s thick skull into thinking differently. Luckily, I had never been someone who gave up on an argument only because everyone else had already declared it useless.
A full hour after I’d first proposed my simple, sensible solution, the Big One turned back from his huddled comrades with a frosty sigh and a nod of resignation.
‘Fine,’ he boomed. ‘But only if you stop talking. Which one is your sister?’
Jasper jumped to his four feet and shook out his wings, nearly bouncing me off his back. ‘I’ll melt her for you!’
‘No!’ I hadn’t talked myself hoarse for the last five hours only to see Katrin’s skin scorched by dragonfire now. ‘Our hosts are in charge,’ I said firmly. ‘This is their territory. Remember?’
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