by JA Huss
My room faced the trees, but beyond the trees was the duck lake and that’s how I could see Nathan St. James from my bedroom.
The house was old and white, but it had been recently remodeled so everything was fresh and clean when I arrived. Adam said it was a Victorian house because it had a turret in the front, just over the porch, which was just an atrium in the foyer inside and not even a real turret.
But it kinda looked like a small castle, if you didn’t pay too much attention to the white-wood siding.
There was a gate at the end of the driveway with a weathered brass plaque on the front of it that read Boucher House, but no one called it that. We just called it Old Home. Or Adam’s Old Home. Or sometimes just Home. And you couldn’t hardly read that sign, anyway. It was covered in creeping vines. So you couldn’t fault anyone for not calling it the Boucher House. They couldn’t really see the letters.
In the early years it was hard to see Nate’s bedroom window from my window because of all those old trees with creeping vines. But one summer, when we were eleven, we cleared a path through the trees with a chainsaw and then, and forever more, we had a direct line of sight to each other.
Adam was furious with us that day we came at the trees with a chainsaw. And really, it was McKay who actually did most of the work. But it was our idea and we started the project, so we took credit for it.
As long as we used a night vision scope we could see each other when we stood in front of our windows. I gave Nate one of my old scopes for his fourteenth birthday because I wanted him to look at me too, and up until that time it was just me looking at him, mostly.
A year later we had cell phones. And then we would talk on the phone and I would look through the scope and watch him through the window as he talked to me.
He knew I was doing it. I’m not a liar. Adam thought I was but McKay always said that one day my honesty would get me killed. I didn’t care what Adam thought. And Nate didn’t care that I was watching him, anyway. We were best friends and didn’t have secrets like that.
Nate and I met because I was a runaway. Less than two hours after Adam brought me to the island I had decided that I would not live in Adam Boucher’s Old Home, that I would live in his woods.
I mostly did this on principle, but also because it pissed Adam off and drove him crazy.
I really liked to drive Adam crazy back then. I feel like that was my only hobby during those first months I lived with him and McKay. Before Donovan talked me into “behaving myself”.
But those few weeks in the woods were fun for me. I caught Nate fishing in the river on day three. He was in a little motor boat and he had already caught many fish by the time I wandered onto the sandy shore. He made a fire on the beach that afternoon and cooked up those fish. So I didn’t starve while I was living in the woods. I think I might’ve gained weight, that’s how well I ate.
Nate said he knew who I was. He had been watching when Adam brought me home in the rain. He likes to hunt for gators when it rains like that, so that’s what he was doin’. And he heard me screaming as Adam dragged me into the house and locked me in the small upstairs room that would become mine.
But Nate didn’t know my name so I told him that my given name was Indie Anna Accorsi, but everyone just called me Indie.
When Adam found out he said I was “a stupid little witch” for giving my real name out to a stranger and didn’t I know any better? And what the fuck did they teach me anyway? Before he bought me in the auction? And then he said, “I should’ve let that snake eat you.”
And I replied, and I remember this clearly, “That snake was not gonna eat me, Mr. Boucher. I was about to carve it up and roast it for dinner myself before you came along and ruined my plans.”
And then McKay laughed and told me to go take a bath because I smelled like old mud on a hot day.
Which was just fine with me because the mud kept the mosquitoes away. But McKay offered up bubbles that smelled like bubble gum, and up until that very moment I had never had a bubble bath, so I got clean for him.
But the minute I saw Nate in that boat I knew we’d be best friends. And we were. We got into all kinds of trouble after that. I liked him because he was not afraid of the lake and the river and almost everyone else was.
Adam told me that. When he realized I had ripped a hole in my window screen and shimmied on down the side of the house towards my life in the woods that first afternoon, he spent two whole days yelling at me from the front porch.
He waved his fist and screamed threats at me. And McKay just sat in a rocking chair and drank bottles of beer and watched him.
McKay’s feathers are hard to ruffle.
Adam’s threats were many. He yelled out that there were gators in the water and leeches that would suck my blood. He told me there were cottonmouths too. I didn’t know what a cottonmouth was, but Nate told me they were snakes.
I’m not afraid of snakes.
I will walk through a garden so thick with snakes I’d be tripping over them and it would not bother me one bit. I will stare down the mouth of any damn snake and tell them what’s what.
But Nate did say they would kill me if I let them get too close. So from then on, when the cottonmouths came slithering by on the top of the water, I would give them space and they would stay clear of me too, and we had this kind of understanding.
The gators were another story altogether. Gators were not as smart as snakes. I know this from experience. I would not call them brave, but they were not the type to give one their space. So I had to stay clear of them without getting any reciprocal consideration.
I never did see a leech on my skin trying to suck my blood after swimming in the water. So I don’t really have an opinion on leeches.
I had a good life on Old Home Island. I really did. I don’t think I completely understood that until recently.
At first, I liked Donovan the best. Donovan is only five years older than me. He’s some kind of genius. When we met, when I was ten and he was fifteen, he was already done with college and getting ready to start medical school to become some kind of psychiatric doctor.
He was not going to be a typical therapist, he told me. I’m not really sure what a typical therapist is because I have never talked to anyone about what’s inside my head, just Donovan. But he was a Company kid, like me. And if there’s one thing I know about being a Company kid, it’s that our lives are never typical.
But Donovan was patient. And he talked in a low, calm voice. And he liked to ask me questions and something about him made me want to answer.
If Adam asked me a question back then, I would never answer. I didn’t like to answer Adam’s questions. And if McKay asked me a question I would sometimes answer. If it was a question about something I was interested in.
But it didn’t matter what kind of question Donovan asked me. I always wanted to talk to him. And he was a good listener too. He taped most of our conversations. And when he wasn’t taping them, he was writing notes. Donovan said he did that so he would remember everything I ever told him.
It made me feel good when he taped our conversations. Like someone cared.
I’m not sure Donovan really did care about me. If I had to choose just one of them to call caring, I would choose McKay. Because he was the one who soothed me after jobs went bad, and taught me how to fight and shoot, and made sure I ate all my vegetables. He even bought me braces when I was fourteen so my teeth would be pretty.
And, in the later years, when I had to leave Old Home and go to the boarding schools for a job, he would be the one to come visit me on parents’ day. Even though he was not my father, and I made sure everyone knew that he was not my father.
The girls at the schools would ask me, “Is he your brother?” And they did this because McKay was very handsome and charming. Maybe not as charming as Donovan, but he was definitely more of a looker than a brain.
Adam was not very charming. But he wasn’t the kind of mean that scared me. He yelled a l
ot, but he didn’t hit me. And, of the three of them, even though Donovan was the one who asked all the right questions and McKay was the one who paid the most attention, Adam was the one who protected me. And sometimes he even saved me.
One time, when I was in San Francisco and the job went bad, this guy had me by the hair with a knife to my throat. And Adam came in. Just kicked in the damn door and cut that man’s throat with his own knife. And then he said, to the dead man on the floor of that apartment, “Don’t you ever touch her again.” Even though he was dead and there was no chance of that happening, Adam said it anyway.
It wasn’t the only time he had to do that. When I was first starting to work the jobs I messed up a lot and Adam was always there. Saving me. He always came in the nick of time to save my ass.
So. I don’t hate him.
And he never did tell me I was a fuck-up. Ever. Even though I was. He just said, “Indie, you’ll learn. It’s fine.” And that was the end of it.
So they were all three different. But alike in a lot of ways too.
They all liked to drink after a job. Donovan wasn’t always there in the beginning. He was away at medical school. But he came at least once a month for our talks. And Adam was always going places. This place and that place. And when he came home he’d have a job for us to do. So McKay was the one I spent the most time with on the day to day.
And they were all young. Much older than me, but I was very young. They were just regular young. Adam was the oldest and he was twenty-three when he bought me at the auction. McKay is only one year younger than Adam and they had been friends since they were boys. Like the way Nate and I were friends. And Donovan—well, he was practically my own age by the time I was fifteen and everything fell apart.
I didn’t know everything was falling apart when it happened but I think they did. At least Adam did. He knew that what happened to the Company was bad. Even though the Company was also bad, having no Company was worse than bad, at least for us. Because then we had no protection. And if we were smart—this was what McKay kept saying after everything went down—if we were smart, we’d have stopped what we were doing and found a new way forward. I should’ve gone to school for real and not just to kill some senator’s daughter in her sleep and make it look like an overdose or a suicide.
But we didn’t. Adam decided to keep us going. Donovan found us new jobs. And we were our own team.
That was our downfall.
People like us… there’s always someone watching you. They are all insiders, otherwise how would they know where to look? But to be fair, Adam was always watching them too. So why he didn’t immediately understand that the other Company leftovers were looking at us, well. That was just a flat-out mistake.
And by the time Adam realized that we were being watched, it was probably too late.
I think that’s why I blame him most. He should’ve seen it coming. He should’ve prepared us for what came after the Company fell.
He should’ve known there were lingering secrets and he should’ve taken care of them before they festered and boiled.
But he didn’t. So that’s why I blame him most.
I blame McKay too. Because once things got past a certain point, he looked at me differently. And I hated him for that.
Donovan just wasn’t around. All that time he was in medical school he was getting two specialty degrees, not just one. So he left to be a fucking plastic surgeon in LA after things started falling apart.
I guess I could blame him for leaving me. But I don’t. Because he just wasn’t there.
Adam was there.
McKay was there.
And Nate was there.
And then, one day… none of them were there.
But someone else was.
CHAPTER FOUR - DONOVAN
MIND CONTROL IN CHILDREN: A CASE STUDY OF COMPANY ASSASSINS
INTERVIEW WITH INDIE, AGE 10.2
SESSION #1
DONOVAN: OK, Indie. Tell me what we’re doing.
INDIE: You already know what we’re doing.
Tell me again. This is what we call permission. You know what that means, right?
I’m telling you that something is… OK.
Exactly. So tell me what we’re doing so I can get it on this recording and if anyone objects to this in the future, it’s very clear that you gave me permission to do this.
Fine. I give you permission to record me. But I’m not gonna talk to you.
Why not?
Because it’s my head, that’s why. And what’s inside of it is none of your business.
I get that. I totally understand that. You’re a private person.
Yes. I am.
That’s fine. But you know why you’re here, right? You know how you got here to Old Home. You know why Adam brought you here. And you know why McKay is here. Right?
They explained it to me.
Now I want you to explain it back to me. OK? Just so we’re all on the same page.
Why do I have to answer your questions? How come you don’t have to answer my questions?
Well… you haven’t asked me any questions, Indie Anna.
Don’t call me that. I hate it. Adam said it’s a trailer trash name. And I don’t know what that means, but it doesn’t sound nice.
It’s a state, you crazy girl. It’s got nothing to do with trailer trash.
Well… what is trailer trash, exactly? Like… old newspapers and stuff?
No. It’s… not important. And don’t use that saying anymore. I don’t like it.
It’s mean, then. Isn’t it?
It’s mean. Yeah. But Indiana is a place. It’s a state here in the US. Up north near the lakes. But if you don’t want me to call you Indie Anna, then I won’t. I’ll call you Indie, like everyone else.
No… it’s fine. You can call me that. But no one else can.
I feel special.
You should. I don’t make exceptions for most people.
I’m truly honored. Now tell me why—
No. You have to answer my questions first. Then maybe I will answer yours.
OK. Ask me anything.
Why did you let them buy me?
You know why. You weren’t mine. But I think the question you’re really asking is… why did I let them take you?
Yes. You told me we were friends back on the island. And then… poof. They took me and you stayed behind.
I’m going away to medical school. I told you that back on the island. I can’t be here with you all the time. But I told you I would keep track of you and here I am. And… I would like to add that I’m the one who got Adam to buy you. I did that so you’d be taken care of.
How did you get him to buy me?
I talked to him before the auction started.
Is that old guy your grandfather?
Mm-hm. He is. I spent a lot of time on that island growing up.
But they never put you in a cage and sold you.
No. My grandfather is too important. I’m… special. Like Adam.
What’s that mean?
Let’s stick to one question at a time, OK? That will keep things on track.
Because you have to leave. You’re in a hurry. Adam called you here to talk sense into me and make me behave.
That’s… not actually true, Indie. McKay called me. And he’s just worried about you. We all want you to be successful and that means you have to listen to Adam and McKay because one day you’ll be doing things that are dangerous and if you don’t do as you’re told, bad things will happen.
Bad things? Like… I’ll be put in a cage again?
No. That’s never gonna happen again. That’s all over now. You’re Adam’s.
No one asked me if I wanted to be Adam’s. Maybe I want to be McKay’s?
McKay didn’t pay for you. Adam did.
So?
McKay works for Adam. And now you work for Adam.
Do you work for Adam too?
No.
Then why are you her
e?
I just told… never mind. Do you want to know how I got Adam to buy you and why I did it or not?
I do.
OK. Then I’ll tell you. But don’t interrupt me again.
Bossy.
I was in the pavilion—don’t interrupt me.
I was just gonna ask where that was. That’s all. I need to picture it in my head.
It’s… the place where the auction was. On the top of the hill on the island. Maybe you saw it when they brought you in by boat?
Oh. Yeah. OK. I did see it. Go on.
Girl. You tire me out.
Are you gonna talk? Or just whine like a baby?
We were in the pavilion. Adam came back first from the tour and—
Yeah, he was the first to come see me.
Indie Anna.
Sorry. I’ll zip it.
OK. So… as I was saying. Adam came back first because my grandfather took him out on the tour in his personal truck. And by that time the place was all set up for the auction. There were a ton of people there waiting for everyone to come back and get things started. All men, of course. Everyone was drinking and there was a little string quartet in the corner playing soothing music.