by Jill Shalvis
That was when he realized that the more he got to know her, the more real he wanted this to be.
“This was a very unusual date,” she said, eyes dark by the fire’s glow, mouth utterly kissable.
He smiled. “You said date.”
“Pretend date,” she corrected. “You promised me, remember?”
Right. He’d also promised not to fall for her. Guess he did make promises after all. Really bad ones. “I remember.”
She nodded. Stared at his mouth. “A very unusual pretend date.”
“Do you go on a lot of pretend dates, then?”
She shook her head. Nibbled on her lip, which was what he wanted to do too. He should be pulling away rather than wanting to extend the evening for as long as possible, but he didn’t want to go anywhere. What he wanted was to see her again. And again.
“I’m going to be gone soon,” she reminded him as if she could read his mind. “So are you too, right?”
“I thought so.” He nodded at her surprise. Then he voiced the thought that had been in his head for days now. “Yeah, it caught me off guard too, but I’m actually thinking of moving back. I’ve missed connections, and I have a lot of them here. More than I wanted to remember.”
She looked across the outdoor patio to the lake just beyond, dark and beautiful. “I can see why you’d want to stay here.”
“And you?” he asked.
She slowly shook her head. “I’m not really a one place sort of girl.”
Then right now would have to do. Assuming, of course, she was feeling the same. And though he could tell by her body language that at least a part of her was, he knew she hadn’t even come close to deciding on him as something she couldn’t be without.
Real or otherwise.
It began to snow, lightly at first, but by the time they laughingly gobbled up the last of their s’mores and walked out front, it was coming down pretty good.
Jane stepped out from the protective cover of the awning and tipped her face up to the falling flakes. “I never get tired of snow. It’s got such potential to do serious damage, and yet it’s so beautiful.”
He thought maybe that could describe Jane too. “Where’s your car?”
“Oh, I walked.”
“Let me drive you home,” he said, reaching for her hand.
“I’m okay. I like to walk.”
But she held on to his hand and he smiled. “Then let me walk you home.”
She met his gaze, her head dusted with powdery snowflakes, a few more on her lashes and her cheeks, making them rosy. “Then you’d just have to walk back here to get your car.”
“I don’t mind.”
“There you go hiding your faults again, seeming too good to be true.”
“Jane,” he said on a rough laugh, “I can promise you I’m not too good to be true.”
She studied him for a long beat, while he did his damnedest to look like something she couldn’t live without. “A ride home would be nice, thank you,” she finally said softly.
He followed her directions to an older neighborhood about four blocks up on the hill from the lake. Homes here had been built decades ago, were close together, and were mostly not renovated. He stopped before two old Victorians that shared a driveway.
“We’re on the left,” Jane said.
Levi had never been to Mateo’s. Mateo had bought this house after Levi had moved to San Francisco, but it suited him. The front yard was good sized, with two huge pine trees, all of it covered with snow. Levi turned off the engine and started to get out of the car.
Hand on the door handle, Jane looked over at him, startled. “What are you doing?”
“Walking you to your door.”
“That’s hardly necessary.”
He got out of the car anyway and met her at the front of the car. “Cute place.”
“It’s a full house this season.” She was silent on the way to the door, then turned to him on the porch. She looked at his mouth. “You should know, pretend first dates don’t come with a kiss.”
This had him smiling. “But you’re thinking about it.”
She laughed. It was a good laugh. “I’m not inviting you in, Levi.”
“I know.”
“Do you? Because we’re pretending for your family. The people in my life don’t need to know about you.”
“Ouch. And I thought you told me you didn’t have anyone in your life.”
“Fine. I have my landlord and aforementioned roommate.”
The front door swung open. A pretty blond smiled out at him. “Charlotte,” she said. “Landlord and aforementioned friend, though I’m amending what she said to add I’m also her best friend. And her family.”
Levi recognized the protectiveness and appreciated it. “Nice to meet you.” He slid Jane a smile. “Seems we have plenty of reasons for a second date.” Then he started to walk back to his car.
“Hey,” she called.
He turned back to find her standing there on the porch, lit by the glow of a single-bulb light. “What’s the first reason?” she asked.
He smiled. “That kiss you want.”
And when she didn’t deny this, he smiled all the way home.
Chapter 13
It wasn’t a real workday until someone yelled at Jane. It could be a doctor, a patient, whoever. It always happened at some point, and it was the least favorite part of her job. Today it was a belligerent patient named Jason Wells. “Your wounds are deep,” she told him. “They need to be cleaned out or you risk infection.”
“Get the hell out of my face and get me my phone!”
Jane took a deep breath for patience—which didn’t come—but stepped back from the thirty-year-old, who’d purposely gone snowboarding off trail—not permitted here at High Alpine—and had hit a tree.
With his face.
Working on the front lines of patient care meant interacting with the general public, and one thing she could count on was that pain brought out the worst in people.
She’d been attempting to irrigate the worst of the guy’s cuts so he could get stitched up, but he wasn’t having it. Bleeding profusely from several places, and all he wanted was his phone. “Phones aren’t allowed in the treatment rooms, sir.”
“The hell with that.” He struggled to sit up. Probably because his wrist was broken, but he didn’t want anyone touching that either. “Help me up, I’m outta here.”
His buddy, who’d dragged Jason into the clinic twenty minutes ago, appeared through the privacy curtain. “Dude, I can hear you yelling at her from the waiting room. Calm down, she’s just trying to help you.”
Oh boy. Never in the history of ever has telling someone to calm down worked.
“I don’t need medical attention.” Finally managing to sit up, Jason swung out with his uninjured arm, nailing the tray, scattering the medical supplies across the room.
Mateo, who was the doctor on staff for the day, having been sent over on loan from the hospital when the scheduled doctor hadn’t been able to get to work, also appeared in the doorway. “Jane.” He gave her a chin nudge indicating he wanted her to move farther back, out of Jason’s reach.
Before she could, Jason’s friend pushed past her and . . . punched Jason in the face.
Jason fell back, unconscious, and his friend looked at Mateo and Jane. “Sorry about the mess he made, but you should be able to treat him now.”
And so went Jane’s day. There were many things she loved about being a nurse. Helping people, sure. But it wasn’t completely altruistic. She somehow felt better about herself when she was taking care of others. It wasn’t easy to explain, so she rarely tried.
But another big draw was that she never had the same day twice. Take today. After Jason had gotten punched out by his buddy, they’d had to call the police, but it turned out that Jason had only recently come home from Afghanistan, and after three tours of duty for the good old US of A, was suffering from debilitating PTSD. His friend had truly just been trying
to help.
Nope, never a dull day . . .
She took a late lunch break on the deck of High Alpine’s lunch lodge and watched the skiers hurl themselves down the mountain. Her thoughts quickly drifted to her date with Levi the night before. Correction: pretend date, and though she was a whole lot curious about the kiss he’d mentioned, she knew it was a dangerous proposition to go there.
Didn’t mean she couldn’t fantasize about it.
Mateo came out and sat next to her holding a glass container she recognized. “Charlotte made you lunch?”
He grinned. “Jealous?”
“Hell, yes. Is that her famous three-cheese lasagna?”
“The one and only.” He pulled out two forks and handed her one.
“You are a God among men,” she said fervently.
“While I’m not opposed to that title, it was Charlotte’s doing. She gave me this container on the demand that I share with you, because, as she said, you probably packed a protein bar and a soda.”
They both looked down at Jane’s protein bar and can of soda.
Mateo laughed and began eating. She did too, and they raced each other to the middle, because if there was one certainty on this job, it was that no break lasted long.
After a few minutes of blessed silence stuffing themselves, Jane pointed her fork at Mateo. “So what’s up with you and Charlotte?”
“Other than that she finally allowed me to help her take down the holiday lights? Nothing.”
“She fed you. She only feeds the people she cares about.”
Mateo smiled hopefully. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She jabbed her fork in his direction again. “Hurt her and answer to me.”
“Hurting her is the very last thing I want to do.”
It was Jane’s turn to smile hopefully. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Then good luck to you,” she said seriously. “The odds are against you.”
“No kidding. Got any tips?”
“I wish I did. But the fact is, she’s dead set against opening her heart.”
“Why?”
Jane shook her head. “Not for me to say, but trust me, she has her reasons.”
He looked troubled as he nodded. “Yeah. I’m getting that loud and clear.”
She put her hand over his. “Just don’t give up too soon, okay?”
“I won’t.”
“Good. Oh, and while we’re doing this, your best friend is Levi? How did I not know that?”
Mateo shrugged. “Until the gondola incident, I hadn’t seen him in a few years.”
She set her fork down. “Because of Amy?”
He lifted a shoulder.
“I’m sorry about your sister, Mateo.”
He sighed. “Yeah. Me too.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew Levi?”
“You mean that night in the hospital? He was a patient. HIPAA and all that . . .”
She nodded. “And after?”
He looked at her. “Until right this very minute, I didn’t realize there was anything to talk about.”
Crap. “There isn’t.”
He laughed. “Uh-huh. You do realize you’re about as forthcoming with your emotions as Charlotte, right?”
“Pretty sure I’m worse,” she admitted.
“Yeah, well, knowing it is half the battle.” He paused. “Levi seem okay?”
She met his eyes and saw genuine concern. “He says his headaches and dizziness are mostly gone.”
“I didn’t mean that. I mean . . . shit.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “I’m not as bad at this as you and Charlotte are, but I’m not good at it either.”
“You’re worried about him.”
“He cut himself off from friends and family, like maybe he thought he didn’t deserve that kind of connection. Which is bullshit, of course. I’m glad he’s back, but he’s still here only because of the gondola accident.”
“You think he’s going to vanish again?”
“Well, not until you go anyway.”
“So you do know something.” She shook her head. “It’s not like that.”
“I hope you’re wrong.”
“It’s a long story,” she said. “But I’m just pretending to be his girlfriend for some family dinner.”
Mateo stared at her and then grinned. “Oh, man. You’re so in over your head.”
“Why? Is his family awful?”
“No. They’re amazing.”
Her phone pinged an incoming voice mail. It was from the local humane society, offering free shots for rescue animals. The email went on to stress the importance of keeping the immunizations of rescue pets current so they remained healthy, and offered a phone number to call for a free appointment. She looked over at Mateo. “Should I get Cat his shots even though he’s not mine?”
“Yes, and yes he is.”
She hit the number and was surprised to get an opening for five o’clock. “I don’t have a cat carrier,” she realized when she’d disconnected.
“Charlotte has one in her garage. I don’t know why. I think a previous renter had a cat.”
So that’s how Jane found herself after work wrestling Cat into the carrier she did indeed find in Charlotte’s garage. He went into it willingly enough, but narrowed his eyes at her when she shut the crate’s door.
Then proceeded to howl his displeasure all the way to the animal shelter.
“Free,” Jane told him via the rearview window. “And it’s important to your health that you get your shots.”
He had a lot to say about this, but she carried him into the shelter anyway, still yowling his displeasure.
The woman at the front desk looked up and smiled. “Oh my,” she said. “He’s got quite a voice.”
“Sorry, and yes, he does. My name’s Jane, and I have an appointment.”
The woman’s smile widened, her eyes friendly behind a pair of bright blue glasses. “Hello, Jane, how lovely to meet you. I’m Shirl. We didn’t actually get the name of your lovely cat.”
“It’s Cat. Short for Alley Cat.”
If Shirl thought this was odd, she didn’t show it as she had Jane fill out a form and then took her and Cat to a patient room.
“Oh, look at you,” Shirl said softly to Cat, who’d stalked out of the crate when Jane opened it, looking royally pissed off. “What do we know about this beauty?”
“Not much. He’s a stray, but I don’t think anyone lets him inside their house or has gotten him checked out.”
“Aw.” Shirl bravely scooped Cat up from the floor and set him on the examination table. “Don’t you have a sweet cat mommy?”
“I’m not,” Jane said. “He just lives in the alley behind the house I’m staying in, and I wanted to make sure he’s taken care of.”
“So a good cat mommy with a big heart.” Shirl continued to love up on Cat, who’d lost his defensive stance and seemed to be enjoying the attention.
“This precious boy needs a real name,” Shirl said. “That’s the first step in making him yours.”
“But he’s not mine.” Just saying it gave Jane’s heart a squeeze. “I’m a nurse. I work twelve-hours shifts that always turn into more, so I’d be a terrible cat mom. Plus, I’m here only until the end of ski season, and then I’ll be gone.”
This seemed to startle Shirl. “Where to?”
“I think it’s Haiti next.”
Shirl paused. “Putting yourself on the front lines to take care of other people. I don’t know if there’s a more respectable job than that. Your mom must be so proud.”
Jane’s mom was something all right, but proud probably wasn’t it. But then again, if she’d had a mom like Shirl, Jane probably wouldn’t be running all over the world. Instead, she’d want a relationship with her family. She’d want to put down roots and live close.
You’re living close to your grandpa . . .
At the thought of him, she was hit by the usual colliding mix of emotions. Some she knew—re
gret, resentment. More regret . . . The other emotions she couldn’t name. She reminded herself that she didn’t have a relationship with him because his health had been frail and she hadn’t wanted to cause any more problems. How many times had her aunt Viv told her that? Too many to count. Jane wouldn’t be the one to bring him any more stress, like reminding him of happier times, when his wife had still been alive.
And what about the fact that he hadn’t fought to keep her? He’d let other relatives take her, pass her around like last week’s leftovers, only a day from going bad.
Oh, wait. Seemed she could name the other emotions after all. Shame. Embarrassment. Fear of further rejection . . . “I’m not close to my family.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Shirl clearly felt bad for asking in the first place, which didn’t stop her from asking another question. “Well then, certainly the man in your life is proud.”
“Um—”
“Oh, dear,” Shirl said suddenly while still checking out Cat. “Interesting.”
Jane’s heart leapt into her throat. “What’s wrong with him?”
“Well, that’s just it. He’s not a he, he’s a she.” Shirl beamed. “Isn’t that something?”
Jane nearly collapsed in relief and put a hand to her heart. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Shirl took in the look on Jane’s face and her own creased in regret as she reached for the hand Jane had clasped to her chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just that it’s clear she’s already had a litter. You might want to get her spayed before she has another.”
Jane scooped Cat up and hugged her close. “You’re a mama?”
Cat gently bumped her face to Jane’s and her heart nearly exploded. “You have babies?” And she probably didn’t even know where they were, how they were doing, if they were okay. If they had homes . . . Jane’s throat tightened so that it hurt to even speak.
Shirl leaned across the examination table and patted her hand. “You don’t need to worry. Our vet here is one of the very best.”
Jane hugged the cat tighter. “Thank you. Yes, I’ll think about getting her spayed, as soon as possible.”